- - -
when we're interns, we know what we want, to become surgeons. and we'll do anything to get there. suffer through killer exam, endure hundred-hour weeks, stand for hours on end in operating rooms, you name it, we'll do it.
- - -
"what exactly is a gentlemen's evening?" mark asks derek as they pause to talk at the bottom of the stairs.
"i don't know," derek shrugs. "it's an evening with gentlemen."
"and strippers?" mark smirks.
"no, i don't- i don't think the chief meant strippers," derek chuckles.
"sure, sounds like strippers," mark states before turning to look at dr. bailey who has just past them and began to head up the stairs. "dr. bailey? what's the first thing that comes to mind when i say the words 'gentlemen's evening'?"
"tassels. shiny, sequinned tassels and one dollar bills," bailey answers, then proceeding up the hospital stairs.
"see? strippers," mark reiterates.
"there will be no strippers. i'm almost positive," derek reassures. "i think he's just bored, waiting to be cleared for surgery. he just does paperwork in his office."
"so you don't know what this thing is either?" mark asks.
"no, but you're in?" derek raises his eyebrow at his best friend.
"why not? i like to be surprised," mark shrugs.
■ ■ ■
"the trick is to envision the artery like a spaghetti noodle- pliable, but not too fragile," lia explains to jackson in the middle of mr. arnold's surgery. "you see that?"
"it's a blockage," jackson states. "left main coronary artery. it's totally closed off."
"there's no way i'm getting a stent in there. we're gonna have to open him up."
"b.p's dropping to fifty-eight over twenty," jackson informs her. "and his heart's racing."
"and his temp's rising," lia points out. "muscles are rigid. all right, let's bring him off anaesthesia and start him on hundred percent o-2. he's got malignant hypothermia."
"so he's allergic to the anaesthesia?" jackson raises his brow.
"he'll never be able to endure the cabg," lia sighs.
"so what are our options?"
■ ■ ■
"wide awake?" mr. arnold asks lia once he has woken up following the failed surgery. "you want me to let you slice open my chest while i'm wide awake?"
"it's your best option," she informs him.
"uh, how... how long would i have to be lying there, uh, on the table with my chest open, uh, like that?"
"the surgery can take up to five or six hours. maybe more," lia truthfully explains.
"uh, six hours... awake... with you operating on my heart. i..."
"the ivory-billed woodpecker," jackson interrupts.
"what?" lia furrows her brow.
"the ivory-billed woodpecker," he explains. "mr. arnold, you want to live to see it don't you? this is your only chance."
"ivory-billed woodpecker," mr. arnold repeats.
"excellent," lia beams. "avery, we will scrub in as soon as an o.r is free."
■ ■ ■
"uh, richard?" derek says, knocking on the door to richard's office.
"awake open heart surgery?" he replies.
"i want to talk to you about tonight."
"have you heard about this awake open-heart surgery my daughter is planning?" he asks again, ignoring derek's statement.
"i've invited chief hunt and sloan and, um, well, i'm wondering what i should tell them to expect."
"mm, tell them to expect a good time," richard shrugs.
"okay," derek nods. "so what is that, poker, cigars, whiskey? i mean, what kind of things?"
"a good time, shep."
■ ■ ■
"dr. webber," mark greets as he and derek pass lia in the hallway, all three of them stopping. "i heard a crazy rumour about you."
"that i'm performing open-heart surgery on a man who's wide awake?" she guesses.
"that's the rumour," mark informs.
"that's the truth," lia confirms.
"well, i perform awake brain surgery all the time," derek points out.
"not the same thing," mark and lia say in sync.
"you ever heard of a gentlemen's evening?" mark asks lia.
"i'm sorry?" lia furrows her brow.
"your dad is hosting a gentlemen's evening," derek explains.
"we're pretty sure it doesn't involve porn, but, you know, we want to be sure," mark adds.
"right..." lia raises her eyebrow, before walking away
■ ■ ■
"chief, you paged?" lia questions, entering owen's office.
"close the door," owen instructs. "you had the nerve to tell a patient you would perform awake open-heart surgery without running it past me?"
"did burke run every surgery past my father?" she cocks her head to the side, and owen appears confused. "i just want to know what the rules are. every surgery burke booked, he ran it up the flagpole first? and what about pretty and prettier? they run all their surgeries past you?"
"wait, you're talking about shepherd and sloan?" owen asks.
"i'm talking about your male attendings. you know, the ones invited to my dad's gentlemen's evening? guess you don't know a guy till you work for him. i mean, who knew you were running some kind of old boys' club?" lia shrugs.
"no, that's not it. what we were-" owen attempts to argue, but is cut off by lia.
"good talk. i gotta prep for my surgery," she says before exiting the office.
■ ■ ■
"you're, uh... you're, uh you're looking at my heart? you're looking at my actual heart?" mr. arnold asks.
"better than that, mr. arnold, we're fixing it," lia smiles.
"and, uh, all... all those people, uh, up there in the observation deck, they're... they're, uh, looking at it, too?" mr. arnold stammers.
"they are," jackson confirms.
"people watching me. people watching me instead of, uh- it's- it's so weird, uh, to be the one being watched. it- it's so weird," mr. arnold continues.
"how are you doing there, mr. arnold?" lia asks. "you need anything?"
"uh, uh, it's cold, uh, co- cold in here. uh, i... i need to cover up. uh, uh, c- cover me up. uh, okay? um, cov- cover me up. c- cov-cover me up."
"yeah, we're gonna... we're... we're gonna cover your legs with more blankets right now," jackson assures.
"oh, c- cov- cover me up. okay? okay, cover... cover me up."
"his heart rate's up to one sixty eight," jackson warns.
"damn it," lia groans.
"you know, uh, ev- everybody's watching, uh, and... and, uh, i... i need to be covered up. i... i need... i... i cant stay like this," mr. arnold begins to panic more. "i can't stay like this. you need... need... i... i ca- i can't. no, stop right now. just... just stop the surgery. stop! stop it! stop! stop! okay, i... i mean it. get your hands out of me. please stop!"
"mr. arnold, i need you to calm down so that your heart can calm down," lia explains.
"okay, hey, mr. arnold. mr. arnold, oh. look at me," jackson says, crouching beside him, in an effort to calm him down. "good. okay. now i want you to focus on... on the observation deck okay? pretend that it's a tree line or a shore line or something... something with birds. those aren't people up there watching you, those are birds... your birds... and you're watching them. so tell me, mr. arnold, about the birds. tell me. tell me about the birds."
■ ■ ■
mark, owen and derek are stood on the webber's front porch, waiting for richard to arrive.
"he doesn't have any secret fetishes, right? he really... he doesn't strike me as a fetish kind of guy," mark queries as richard arrives on the porch.
"hey richard," derek greets. "you gotta tell us what this evening is about. you've been obtuse, it's been fun, but, you know, we're getting a little freaked out now. what's a gentlemen's evening?"
"it's an evening with no ladies, just gentlemen," richard casually explains.
"that's it?" owen cocks his brow.
"well, yeah," richard says as lia walks up to the porch.
"pretty boys having their gentlemen's evening," she mocks. "this is very charming. or sad. i'm not sure which."
"what happened to no ladies?" mark asks.
"yeah," owen reinforces.
"relax, this is my house," lia chuckles. "i'll be in my room, nowhere near your gentlemen's evening."
the four men nod and enter the house, apart from mark who lingers on the porch with lia.
- - -
too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. desire can wreck your life.
- - -
"you know," he smirks. "it's gonna be hard to focus on this gentlemen's evening knowing your upstairs, in your 'pyjamas'."
"well you're gonna have to," she smiles, biting her bottom lip.
"and fight the urge to come and join you?"
"and fight the urge to come and join me."
- - -
but as tough as wanting something can be. the people who suffer the most, are those who don't know what they want.
- - -