I had not seen Lauren since that argument her mom told me to give her space but i just wanted to explain.I called her non stop but she had blocked off my phone or turned hers off. I regretted what I had done with Shannon, i thought meeting her those times would be good closure for both of us but it turned into something else every time. It was dangerous for me to be around her and I knew it yet I did not leave when I could have. A knock on the door disturbed my thoughts.
I opened the door the usual vibrant green eyes were cold and dark,
"Lauren"her face as serious as I had ever seen it
"Can i come in"she said not looking me in the face
"Yeah please do"
I moved the alcohol bottles that were in front of the sofa and picked up some stuff as I didn't expect anybody.
"Its fine I wont be here long you dont need to do that"
"I know but I really-"
"I just came for my clothes Camden"
"Lauren please can we, can we talk"i begged i did not think she would agree but it was worth a try
"Okay"she said sitting down on the little couch, i sat next to her, i had missed her scent,her skin i just wanted to jump on top of her and stay with her
"I just want to start by apologizing Lauren-I"
"How many times"she said abruptly looking me in the eyes for the first time,the coldness of her look killed me
"It doesnt matter Lauren it happened and i regret it"
"It does matter how many fucken times Camden"
"Two just two and never while we were married it-"
"did you just kiss her or-"the fact that to her cheating only involved kissing but it was my time to come clean if we were going to get over this then well i had to tell her the full truth
"No we uh-we had sex"her head fell and the tears streamed down her face, i couldnt help but get on my knees in front of her
"Baby im sorry I dont know what i was thinking "i said trying to grip her hand and she held them she touched me for the first time in two days
"I love you Lauren please forgive me we can work through this"
"Camden i -i hate that i still love you but i dont think ill ever be able to get passed this"she said silently
"Babe"i said kissing her cheek
"Please dont Cam"she said pushing me away
"Ill do whatever you want it was a moment of weakness ,i just - theres no excuse im stupid and im sorry"
"Camden you know how many times I could have been with Camila?Before my wedding my brother, my own brother was pushing me to it, but i didnt because I loved you Camden I loved you so much and always gave you the benefit of the doubt I just cant do this Camden, I cant"she said before picking up her bag and leaving
I laid on the floor tears in my eyes and my heart completely broken but I deserved this I deserved the heartache that I had caused for both of us
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"How are you" the brown eyed woman said hugging me as she walked into my room as i sat on my bed
"Breathing"
"This is why I decided not to say anything Lauren I felt you deserved to be happy even if it meant losing you completely"
"You know you could never lose me completely Camz"
she smiled at me as she kissed my forehead
"Youre my first love and I feel youll always have a part of my heart whether i want you to or not"
"Youve had more than a piece of mine this whole time Lauren"she said looking into my eyes, "And i just want to be here for you as a friend,as whatever you want me to"
"Thanks, this is just hard, I would be lying to you if I told you I still didn't have feelings for her because I do I'm just so hurt right now,it's not fair"
"I know it isn't, to be cheated on makes you feel as if there is something wrong with you as if you're not enough "
"I just don't understand why she would do it and multiple times"
"I don't either Lauren"
"I love her,but a part of me can't forgive her"
"Lauren this might be harsh but you forgave me right?"
"But you are you Camila,i dont think i ever really got over you"
"So you wouldnt give her a second chance?"
" i did this was our second chance, she had gone with her once"
"Why didnt you tell me"
"Because i didnt want to to back running to you it wouldnt be right"
"None of this is,but if i May Ryan finally signed the papers"
"Really?"
"I know he is your brother but we both"
"You both deserve to be happy with whoever it is"
"You do too Lauren"
"I know i do"
"Lauren I know we both have gone through alot and maybe its not the right timing but what about Us,i dont want to rush you but"
"I dont want to rush anything Camila im sorry,I cant tell you to wait for me because right now im just not myself, i still have feelings for Camden and it would not be fair to you"
Months passed and Lauren and I went out as friends as Lauren figured herself put.I would be lying if i said i wasnt waiting for her,because i was.I loved her with all my heart maybe even more seeing her the way she was with Alexandria.But a part of me also needed her the way i couldn't have her.
This weekend we had a trip to Miami,A meeting with Camdens new company she worked with.I was nervous to say the least of how Lauren would react.It had been months of them talking but Lauren still couldnt go back yet she still didnt sign the divorce papers.Another thing that held me back from trying to win her back completely.We had made out here and there but never more than that,and it killed me every time because i knew i was losing myself on waiting on her.
"Are you sure you dont want me to do this by myself?"
"Ill be fine Camila,you know the only relationship i have with Camden is professional"
"If you say so Lauren"the green eyes looked more timid than usual.I could tell she still felt things for Camden.The look in her face when she saw her proved it to me.The whole meeting I felt my heart break.She looked at her the way i had been wishing she would look at me.I guess Lauren and I really wouldnt be again. Even though my heart was hurting i had been mentally preparing myself for Lauren and I not ending together,i just wasnt ready to feel this pain again.
"Good meeting"lauren said interrupting my thoughts as we exited the elevator
"Yeah"i said grinning back
"I told you i could do it"she seemed so proud of herself, but deep inside i knew Lauren still loved her
"Yeah,good job"i said maybe a bit too monotone
She furrowed her eyebrows at me
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah just trying to wrap everything up from the meeting in my head"i really was but not about the companies, i was trying to fully feel what i saw and let go of the thought of Lauren and I once again
"Well if you have any questions id be happy to explain"
"No its fine i know what i saw"
"What did you see?"
"I mean heard sorry still a bit out of it"
"You can take the rest of the day off really,i can do the rest of the meetings"
"Ill be fine"
We went the rest of the day like this, smalltalk that didnt mean much.I was ready to have a drink by the time the last meeting came around.
"Hey,ill meet with you back at the hotel in a bit I have a separate personal meeting to attend"she was probably going to meet Camden,I didnt even want to ask at this point
"Im actually in a real need of a drink so-"i said ignoring her eye sight
"Ill meet you at a club which one are you thinking of heading to?"
"I'm not sure ill send it to you in text"we both went our separate ways not looking back I was over waiting for this woman as much as it hurt I needed to move on
-----
LpOV
My breath felt like it got trapped between my neck as I saw the blonde again.Her green eyes I hadn't looked into for a while. I know i had just had a meeting with her but the only thing i stared at were her lips and her figure because i knew if i made eye contact,i wouldve lost myself in them.
"Hi Lauren"her voice above a whisper as well
"Hi uhm should we get started"i said handing her the papers for our divorce.I was dreading this not because of the divorce because i knew thats what i should do,but because i knew that if i saw her i wouldnt do as i should.
"Do you want a drink?"
"No thank you Im actually meeting with Camila in a bit for drinks"her body language shifted as she poured herself more whiskey into the cup she was probably serving for me "You drink that much whiskey now?"
"What do you think I cant handle it?"
"Ive grown Lauren,"she said smiling as she sat next to me "You have to know how to take the burn and the pain and feel okay after it"
"Im glad youre okay then"I replied smiling back,
She looked at me but I couldnt hold my eyesight with hers i turned my body towards the papers taking a pen out of my pocket
"You know I thought it would be easier if we did this together but it has just made it more difficult"she said throwing her head back getting my attention again. Her button up shirt was unbuttoned enough to show her perky breasts, she did this on purpose, so I turned my view to the papers again only missing our signatures.
"None of this is easy but it has to be done"
"Why though, are you really for this to be over"she said looking me face to face
"Camden this was over the moment you went after somebody else while you were with me"
"I made a mistake Lauren you really can't forgive me for that?"she said as a tear rolled down her cheek, she was distraught and as bad as i tried to hold myself together I couldnt
"I love you Camden believe me but a part of me died that day, and that part of me was completely in love with you"i said wiping my tears "If you still love me like you say you do youll sign the papers"
her face seemed worse than before her tears were streaming her face now and as much as I wanted to hug her I didnt
""Are you with Camila?"her voice cracking as she tried to compose herself
"I am not with her because I am still married to you"
"But you have feelings for her?"
"this doesnt matter Camden"
"It does to me just answer me"
"Ive always told you the truth and I wont lie to you even know, I do, I have feelings for her but until this is over theres nothing I can do with her"
"She doesnt deserve you"
"And maybe I dont deserve her, but this right now is about you and I so please lets just not make this anymore difficult"i took a deep breath and finally picked up the pen from the table.I placed it upon the blank line.
"Wait Laure"she said gripping my hand but I knew I had to continue or this wouldnt end
"I have to do this"i replied signing away what was left of Camden and I to me she blew air out taking deep breaths herself
"So this is what you want"she said
"Yes"i said looking at her and placing my hand with the pen in front of her, before I could react she kissed me, her quiverly lips pressed onto mine and for the first time I felt nothing as she looked at me again trying to deepen the kiss
"Stop please"i said placing space between her and I, standing next to her
"This is what i need"i said giving her the pen again
"I just-"
"You need this too Camden there is nothing between us, we both need to move on"she finally received the pen and slowly wrote her name on the papers.I gripped the folder as she finished writing and stood in front of me
she fell into my arms"Im sorry I really am"i said as she cried into my shoulders
"No im sorry but I hope this is the last time I hurt you"she said kissing my cheek
I left her apartment with great relief,I thought the heartbreak was over.
I arrived to the club and ofcourse Camila was dancing I smiled as I saw her so carefree,it reminded me of our younger days when we had the time of our lives without consequences. But like our younger days a guy was talking to her bringing her drinks while they danced.It drove me crazy when guys approached her . That feeling, the anger, the jealousy, i wanted to explode like when I was younger, but I wouldnt do that I physically couldnt, I was drained from Camden and I earlier.I grabbed a drink and sat in the table with Lex, I knew Camila was sitting with her as her bag was with her.
"How was it ?"
"What?"
"The divorce"
"I dont know what was more painful the papers or seeing Camz dance with this dude" i said drinking the whiskey
"Why have you been holding off, you know she thinks you dont like her"i almost spat out my drink
"Are you serious?"
"Yes,she said that after a few drinks"i couldnt believe Camila thought that well maybe I could, I had tried to be so cold to her touch and her conversations with me because i didnt want to do anything until everything was over with Camden. I wanted to do things with Camila, but i wanted them to be right this time. I waited until the guy left to get drinks again he was being persistent on that part.
I pushed my body until i reached hers, her eyes were closed so when I touched her body she froze.Her eyes opened up at my touch.
"Lo"she mouthed, I smiled like an idiot I couldnt hide it anymore, I didnt need to.
"Come on"I said holding her hand fully, she followed without fighting back, I took her to the patio of the bar where it was more quiet
I smiled at her as she tried to compose herself already buzzing
"Are you alright babe"i said caressing her cheek placing a piece of her hair behind her ear on the way, she blushed as she smiled
"Babe?last time i checked well me I was single I dont know about you"she said placing her body on the wall behind her
"I had to do a couple thing im sorry-"
"Was that thing Camden?"she said breathing in heavily
"Yes"i said trying to loosely hold her hand but failing as she pulled back
"is that what took you so long"she was obviously bothered, and I thought she was going to take off, the same way she would when we were younger, when we would argue, but she didnt she stood her ground, her brown eyes lighter than usual
"Yes but, well I wouldnt want to talk about it here Camz"
"Is there anything really to talk about Lauren?"she said crossing her arms being defensive
"There is if you let me"she looked down then back up at my face
"Should we go?"
"If you want, yes"i replied, she held my hand and went back into the club to get her purse,and like before the persistent guy found her again
"Hey,hey,"the dark haired man said as he got closer I noticed his features green eyes and tattoos, I couldnt help but laugh
"Im leaving"Camila replied in the mans ear while she held my hand
"Ill buy drinks for you and your friend"
"Im not her friend, leave us alone"i replied trying to pull Camila with me but the man gripped her hand
"Piss off man shes my girl"i said pushing him back
"Lo dont-"Camila said pulling me back
"Oh come on ill take both of you"he shouted
"Its not worth it Lo"she pleaded, I decided not to cause a scene that wasnt me anymore I didnt need to prove anything to anybody specially not a drunk douche
-----CpOv
We caught a cab back to our hotel, Lauren continued to hold my hand as we left the cl8ub and sat in the cab, i couldnt help but smile , yet I was really confused I had prepared myself to leave the situation with Lauren alone but when she held me like this, when she flirted like that, and man when she said I was her girl i nearly fainted
"Are you okay Laur?"
"Yeah why do you say that"
"Because youre still holding my hand"i had to say something i know i was a bit drunk but it was now or never
her face began to turn a bit red
"Just feels right doesnt it?"she replied looking forward again
we quietly made out way into the two bed hotel room, i flopped onto my bed the alcohol beating my body now
She surprised me by laying next to me, the same way we used to at her house, being with Lauren again made me feel like me again,
"Can I tell you why I saw Camden now?"Just hearing her name made me angry to be honest
"Sure"i said turning on my side to face her, she did the same and now our faces were inches apart. Her green eyes seemed endless, and i had been needing to lose myself in them again
"As you know uhm well we werent officially divorced, and well I went to her apartment to finalize it"i didnt know if to smile or comfort her
"Is that what you wanted"
"Not necessarily if im being honest, I would have preferred to work things out"my heart sunk as those words left her mouth "But they didnt and I guess a part of me is kind of relieved if im being honest"
"What do you mean?"
"A part of me always wanted me and you to end together dont you think?"for a second i couldnt breath
"I thought ,e and you were off the table I mean they way you had been so cold with me I kind of prepped ,myself to lose you completely"her face scared me as she got more serious
"I had to Camz, I couldnt start something again before I turned the page on my divorce"she said sitting up, she put her hand out helping me sit up as well
"Dont get me wrong Camila,I really want this with you"she said holding my hand again, "But this time I want to do things right"she said smiling at me I couldnt help myself, I began to cry as she held onto my hands
"Dont cry babe"she said hugging me
"I just never thought this day would come"i said placing both of my hands on her cheeks
"Well its real"she said leaning in to kiss me,her tender lips melted my whole body,everything came back to me including my real self,
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Thank youuuuu so much!!!Thank you for reading this story that should have been finished a while ago.Regardless thank you so much for reading,commenting,and liking.