You Have An Eating Disorder (Niall)
(Orthorexia)
Over the years, your eating disorder had become an obsession. You would never eat any foods that weren’t pure or unhealthy. It had originally started as a simple diet, but once the pounds began to come off in high numbers, the diet became a lifestyle. Niall didn’t know about this though because he was on a 6 month tour when you started. You hardly looked like the same person anymore and the house only contained foods that were pure. There wasn’t a food or drink item that contained impure ingredients. You just couldn’t imagine gaining anymore weight, you already saw yourself as overweight.
Today Niall was coming home from his long trip and you were so excited to see him. He had texted you, asking you to stay at home because the amount of fans waiting was unbelievable. You agreed to wait, but that only made the anticipation build up. You tried to distract yourself in any way possible, but nothing could take your mind off the fact that your boyfriend was going to be home in only a matter of minutes. After what felt like hours passed, the front door finally opened up and in walked Niall. You jumped from the couch and the minute his bags hit the floor, you were in his arms.
“(Y/N)!” he exclaimed, clasping onto you. “Oh princess… I missed you so much.” He buried his face into your neck as the two of you took in each other’s company.
“I missed you Ni,” you said, pressing your lips against his. You had craved this kiss so much. It was the only thing that could calm you down after a bad day, or make you forget any fight.
“I missed you too baby.” The two of you stood in the foyer for a few minutes before he spoke up. “Let’s go to the living room yeah?” He took your hand and brought you to the couch, sitting down and pulling you onto his lap.
When you sat down, his face changed from a smile to confused.
“Baby? Have you lost weight? You seem lighter.”
Your face lit up when he said that. He had actually noticed. “Yeah! I did, is it noticeable?” you asked eagerly.
“It’s quite noticeable now that I look at you… Baby, I can see your collar bones.” He ran two fingers across your protruding collar bone. “What happened while I was away?”
“Uh… nothing! Just trying out this new diet.”
“It seems more extreme than that (Y/N)… stand up.” You obeyed his order and stood in front of him. He stood up with you, moving his fingers to the edge of your oversized sweater. He lifted it up so it came just below your bust line. His face turned sad when he saw your hipbones peeking out and your ribs all visible. “Oh my god…” he whispered. “(Y/N)? This isn’t healthy…”
“But… I just wanted to look good… for you.” You were quite embarrassed admitting this all now.
“Princess… You always look good to me, regardless. In fact, I think you look way better in sweat pants and no makeup than you actually do with jeans, a blouse and makeup on. I don’t care what you look like, I love you for being you… Although I will admit you’re extremely attractive. But this isn’t the right answer. You were perfect the way you were before, and to be honest, this…” He gestured to your body. “Looks quite painful.”
You couldn’t deny that it did hurt. Your ribs were stabbing the inside of your skin and you couldn’t lay on your stomach without feeling pressure on all your bones. So you nodded your head. He pulled your sweater back down and pulled you back onto the couch, giving you a giant bear hug.
“I love you (Y/N). You’re so beautiful. Now, how about we order in tonight. Some Chinese maybe?” he offered, giving you a reassuring smile.
He was right, you were hungry. “That sounds amazing. I love you Ni.” He kissed your lips before getting up to order you some nice, greasy food.
You Have An Eating Disorder (Harry)
(Binge Eating Disorder)
After another vicious attack from social media, you made your way to the kitchen. All the comments about you, telling you to lose weight or that you look like you ate the whole farm, it hurt you more than they thought. You had always been insecure about your weight, even as a young teen. You got to the kitchen and began pulling out everything you could get your hands on. Chips, soda, cookies, left over pizza, cereal, brownies… You spread it out on the island, trying to decide what to start with. This wasn’t an unusual occurrence though. This happened pretty much every day. You would eat as much food as you could and then just leave it. No throwing up or anything, you would just eat. Harry could tell something wrong, even though you tried to hide it. You couldn’t deny the fact that you had gained a few pounds. You hated that, but then you would look in the mirror, hate what you saw, get upset and go and eat again. It was a cruel cycle and was starting to take a toll on the relationship. You had tried so hard to hide it from Harry that you had grown distant. He would try to get you to open up but you would just end up shutting him out. You began to eat the large amount of food in front of you. You were about half way through when the door to your flat opened and closed, alerting you that Harry was home. Your eyes widened as you looked at the amount of food that you still had to eat. Yes you HAD to eat it or you wouldn’t feel satisfied. But now Harry was home and he was finally going to see what dirty secret you had been hiding from him. He walked into the kitchen, not noticing the mess at first.
“Hey (Y/N),” he said, not even looking at you. You didn’t say anything, causing him to look at you. “I said-” He stopped mid-sentence, eyes traveling down to the half-eaten pile of junk. “Somebody’s hungry…” he said in a sarcastic tone.
You began to tear up. It wasn’t your fault you couldn’t stop eating. “(Y/N)? Are you okay?” His voice suddenly grew more concerned when you still hadn’t spoken a word to him. “(Y/N)? The softness of his voice made you break down right there. You hid your face in your hands and began to cry.
You felt so disgusting that this is what you had become.
“Hey, hey, babe what’s wrong? Was it something I did?” You shook your head, pulling away from your hands and wiping away some of the tears.
“I-I don’t want to eat… but I can’t help it…” you explained.
“What do you mean kitten?” He walked over to where you were sitting and took your hands in his big ones.
“It’s a binge eating disorder Harry… I was diagnosed about a year ago. I didn’t want to tell you because it’s disgusting and embarrassing!” you cried out.
“Shh… it’s okay!” He took you into his embrace, enveloping you completely. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about love,” he whispered.
“I’m such a fat ass,” you mumbled just so he could barely hear it.
“Don’t talk like that!” he said firmly, tightening his grip on you. “You’re not fat, trust me. Maybe you gained a few pounds but it’s not even noticeable. (Y/N), I want to help you get through this, I just wish you would’ve told me sooner.”
“I-I’m so sorry Harry…” He kissed the top of your head, letting it linger. “Please don’t apologize. I understand baby girl. But I know now and if you’ll let me, I’m going to help you.” You pulled back a bit with his arms still around you.
“I want help.” That was all you said.
“I won’t let you down. I love you so much baby. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone and I won’t let you.” He tilted his head down so he was able to give you a kiss.
“I love you too Haz,” you murmured against his lips kissing him again. He held onto you tight, as a promise that he would never let you go, no matter what happened.
- You Have An Eating Disorder (Liam)
(Night Eating Syndrome)
You peeked over at Liam, making sure he was asleep before you snuck out of bed and headed down to the kitchen. You quietly made your way down the dimly lit hallway, trying not to do anything that would wake Liam up. You didn’t want him to see what you were doing.
You had night eating syndrome, meaning you would eat pretty much nothing all day and then binge at night. I wasn’t a huge binge, but it was more food than you needed. You began to pull out materials to make a sandwich. Baguette bread, cheddar cheese, lettuce, turkey, tomatoes… Everything you could think of. You out it all together and was just about to take a bite when you heard a cough from behind you. You spun around, the filling sandwich still in your hands. Liam stood there with a worried look on his face.
"What are you doing up Liam?" you asked, putting the food down and feeling the blush rise up to your cheeks.
"I felt you get up…" he answered softly and you mentally cursed yourself for not waiting longer. "Why are you eating so late love?"
"I-I was hungry?" you said, more of a question than a statement.
"Did you even eat today (Y/N)? You barely touched your food at dinner and I don’t recall you having any breakfast either." You couldn’t reply to that one because you knew it was true. "You know what (Y/N), now that I think of it you never eat during the day… Does this happen every night?"
You only nodded your head as the tears streamed down your face. “I’m sorry Liam… I don’t know what’s wrong with me…”
He walked over to you and took you into his arms. “Baby, nothing’s wrong with you. You’re beautiful and amazing and I love you for you. Don’t ever think anything’s wrong with you. This is a problem, yes, but if you get the proper help, you will overcome it. And I’ll be with you every step of the way okay? You’ll never be alone as long as I live.”
You cracked a smile. How could you not after his touching words. “I want help Liam… And if you’re willing to stay with me, I’ll get better faster. Thank you so much. I can’t thank you enough.”
He held your hands tightly in his and kissed you softly on the lips.
"Lets go back to bed. I’ll stay up until you fall asleep, okay?" You nodded and put the food back in the fridge,following Liam back up to the bedroom.
- You Have An Eating Disorder (Zayn)
(Bulimia)
You sat in the restaurant with Zayn and his parents with only a small salad in front of you. Regardless of its size though, you had to get rid of it. You just didn’t want everyone to get suspicious so you would just have to wait until you had a moment. The dinner was actually quite nice. You got to know Zayn’s mum pretty well and his dad seemed to be taking a liking to you as well. Nobody seemed to notice that you were only picking at the small salad. You don’t know how, but you managed to eat the whole thing. You felt extremely guilty and needed to get rid of it as soon as possible.
“Excuse me, I have to use the washroom.” Without another word, you slipped away into the empty bathroom.
You went into the first stall available, locking the door and immediately shoving your fingers down your throat. It didn’t take much time for your gag reflex to react and you were throwing up the small amount of food you had accidentally eaten. You kept sticking your fingers down your throat until you were getting dizzy and there was nothing left to dispose. You used the stall walls to steady yourself before flushing your stomach contents down. You left the stall, washing your hands and rinsing your mouth out the best you could.
You had hoped you weren’t gone long enough to make them wonder why you were gone so long. You shakily walked back to the table and sat down. Zayn gave you a concerned look but you shook it off. For about another half an hour, the four of you chatted about different topics until Zayn announced that both of you had to go home. Both of you exchanged hugs with his parents and started the walk to your car.
“Are you feeling okay boo? You were in the bathroom for a while,” he observed as you walked down the sidewalk.
“Yeah, I feel fine,” you answered, avoiding eye contact with him.
“(Y/N), you’re extremely pale…”
“I said I’m fine Zayn!” you snapped, immediately feeling bad after. “Sorry… sorry…”
“Don’t apologize… But babe, you’re not okay, we can both see that. You don’t have to hide anything from me… Besides, I think I might have an idea…” You looked up at him, panic and curiosity written across your features. “Now, don’t get mad if I’m wrong… but, (Y/N), have you been making yourself throw up?” Hurt spread across his face as if he feared the worst and you were about to confirm his fears.
You nodded your head up and down, looking towards the ground, not wanting to see the look on Zayn’s face. “I’m so sorry.” You felt yourself start to tear up. “Zayn, I’m so sorry… it’s just all the rumors going around… I can’t bring myself to stop. And then I couldn’t tell you because I thought you would judge me like everyone else-” He interrupted you.
“(Y/N), stop… If you think I would judge you, you are so wrong. I know the rumors hurt baby… I want them to stop and I’m trying. But most of all I want you to stop this. This isn’t healthy babe… I can’t lose you (Y/N) and I won’t this problem come between us. We are going to work together to get you better. You are my perfect boo. You are so beautiful and I can’t even begin to explain all the reason why I love you.”
You wrapped your arms around his waist and buried yourself in his embrace. “I love you so much Zayn.”
From this moment on, you were going to have Zayn by your side through the good and the bad. There was nothing you had to hide from him, he accepted you for you and that was all your heart needed to believe.
You Have An Eating Disorder (Louis)
(Anorexia/Body Dysmorphic Disorder)
You stood in front of the mirror in just your underwear. Your eyes trailed your body, only noticing all the fat. But in reality, all you were was a walking skeleton. You were diagnosed with anorexia about a year ago, before you had met Louis. Once the two of you hit it off, you seemed to get a bit better and for a while you had completely forgotten about it. It was when Louis left for tour, everything came flooding back in. The fans began leaving hateful tweets telling you that no amount of starvation could make you thin. Even your own family told you that you could afford to lose some weight. So once he was gone, you sunk back into your old habits.
You barely ate a meal a day and only drank water. You would go to the gym three times a day sometimes, or some days you would just go for hours. Soon enough, you started to lose weight again. You found yourself unable to stay awake for long or not being able to sleep at all. You would walk past the bakery, temptation at its highest, but you wouldn’t give in.
So now here you were. Louis had arrived home yesterday and he could see something was wrong but he didn’t confront you. Right now, the mirror was your worst enemy.
“I knew something was different about you,” a voice spoke up from behind you. You looked into his blue eyes through the mirror, afraid of making eye contact with him. He looked sad, angry, hurt…
“Louis, I…” You trailed off, not able to find the right words. He walked up behind you, wrapping his arms around your bony hips.
“I want you to tell me what you see…” he said softly. “Just tell me what you see in the mirror.”
“I-I see fat… I see a hopeless person who can’t control what she does anymore. I see flaws all over the place. My skin isn’t nice, my thighs are gross, my eyes don’t sparkle… My stomach is too big, my hair isn’t nice…” You could’ve continued but Louis had started to cry. You couldn’t bare seeing him cry because of you.
“You feel that way about yourself…” he said, less of a question and more of a statement. You turned your body so that it was now facing him.
“I can’t help it Lou… Even my own family tells me that I’m not good enough.”
“(Y/N), listen to me okay? You’re aren’t fat, you were never fat. You look so fragile and I’m scared that if I hold you too tight, you’ll fall apart. (Y/N)… I love everything about you and regardless of what you say, I’ll always love you. This,” he gestured to your frail body. “Isn’t okay. You’re sick. But I’m here to help you get better. You’ll never have to go through anything alone, okay? Will you try for me?” Hesitantly you nodded your head. “Good, because I want you to realize that you don’t need to be stick thin to be beautiful.”
You leaned into his chest, closing your eyes. “I love you so much Lou.”
“I love you with all my heart (Y/N), we’re going to get you better.”
{this is not mine i didnt know what to write ( i had ind block lost all my insipartion) & since it was such a gentel subject i decided to search for a good one so therefor all rights will go to http://aurora1dpreferences.tumblr.com/masterlist for this preference)