TW: Dragon Heist Spoilers but also our DM changed some shit because we started that book midway though the campaign so uh yeah
OKAY OKAY OKAY
CONTEXT
So way back in the beginning of the campaign, this was like our second fight ever, we were going against this goblins and then this big ass gobbling. When we killed him we got a magical bath robe from which you can pull out random shit from its pocket (you roll some dice and depending on the number is the random shit you get, there are like a hundred possibilities) and that now belongs to Pettry, (that's probably not how you spell it) the group's Druid and probably only morally alright person.
SO BACK IN THE PRESENT
We're getting paid to rescue this guy's friend who got mistaken by a prince, his name is Volo but we call him Spaghetti cause he's sorta famous and doesn't want to be recognized and my DM makes the single funniest voice for him like he sounds like frigging Mario— anyway and apparently his friend got kidnaped by this gang and that lead to us fighting against a fucking Mindflayer (I'm so spelling this wrong too aren't I)
So the guy is getting whipped in the room next to us by the Mindflayer's Orc buddy and we're trying to come up with a plan, and the Warlock whose name I don't know how to spell either cause D&D is like "dude we should check if there's anything useful in Pettry's bathrobe"
And then we realized we do that pretty much every time we come across a problem, which means we waste at least five minutes on the bathrobe probably about almost every session
We're so smart
So our plan ended up being not having a plan because of the Mindflayer likes killing smart people so we're better off being stupid
Yeah, um, two of our party members got their brains eaten last session,,,
Good news is that the guy who played the Warlock will have time to make a well rounded fun character this time which he couldn't do before, yay!
Bad news is the girl who played the Bard was her first time playing that Class and our DM's rules are that if a character dies your next one can't be the same Class so that sucks
Cass almost got his brain eaten but he managed to wiggle himself out of that situation with the power of Dexterity
The Mindflayer freaking ran away like A HOE when he was 15 on health which means we'll probably see him again which absolutely SUCKS, but at least we hurt his feelings by telling him he's not as cool as he thinks he is
We rescued the guy and we got paid, but not with money, but a house. Which is probably haunted. Wohoo.
On the bright side this is the first time in years Cass has a house and the first time ever he has a permanent room for himself so that's good.
Even if it's likely haunted