( Zayn's POV )
I can't believe I'm actually nervous about this. I mean, it's just a night out with a friend, nothing special. But, at the same time, this is special... more so important than anything else. If I want to keep Isa in my life after everything is done, then I need to give her a reason to. She has no obligations to stay in my life just as I don't in hers but, it feels wrong to just push her out.
"So, Malik... where are you taking me?" Isa asks as we drive for the lake.
"I said it's a surprise, remember?"
"Really? I mean, we're almost there."
"Wouldn't that be worse to tell you now, then? You've waited this long to be surprised, so why not wait a little longer?"
"I guess you have a point." She grins.
God, I hope she likes the lake. We might have to turn around and honestly, I didn't make a plan B for tonight. It might be back to leftovers by TV light.
By the time we get to the park, my heart is racing. I don't know why. I mean, worst-case scenario she hates the outdoors and we have to go somewhere else. Even thinking that now sounds a little absurd. Who hates the outdoors so much that they'd refuse to sit by a lake for a few hours? Certainly doesn't sound like something she'd do.
"Okay, we're here..." I say, parking my car in the parking lot closest to the lake.
It's nearly pitch dark out minus a single street lamp in the parking lot. It's a good thing I brought my flashlight because it seems we're about to go rogue. As I step out of the car, I'm surrounded by the calming wilderness. The soft sound of crickets mixed with the occasional croak from a frog. The bold smell of pine mixed with the soft scent of the nearby lake.
"I must admit.. I didn't expect this." Isa remarks, not really taking a stance as to whether she's pleasantly surprised or completely disappointed.
"I've just got to grab a few things from the back and then we can go to where I actually planned to go," I say, heading for the trunk.
I pop the back open and grab the blankets I brought along with the bug spray and a flashlight. Then, I close the trunk and lead us to the lake.
It's truly not that far from the parking lot but the big pine trees mask the street lamp causing it to seem as if we are truly secluded. When we emerge from the forest and get to the lakeside, it's clear that this was the best place to go. The moon reflects off of the water causing it to shine and, because of the little amount of light around us, we can now see the thousands of stars light up the sky.
"Wow, this is just beautiful..." she gapes as her eyes glisten from the moonlight shining off the lake.
A wave of relief falls over me as she says that. I've made the right decision.
She walks down a bit closer but I grab her hand to stop her. Shocked by my grip, she looks back at me.
"You don't want to go any further... the mud will cause you to slip straight in." I warn her.
"Oh, thank you... I would have taken a dive." She chuckles softly at the idea of falling into the lake and I smile at her laughter.
"I just have to lay these blankets out and then we should be good," I say, grabbing one and shaking it out before letting it fall down to the dewy grass.
"Two?"
"Trust me, one blanket is never enough on this grass. Just one would have your butt soaked."
"I see." She smiles, nearly laughing once again.
Once both blankets are down, we take a seat down on them and stare out at the lake.
"This really is beautiful... thank you." She smiles at me, brightly, as she once had.
"It's nothing really. My Mum used to bring me down here when I was younger and we would set up shop in the back of our old car. We'd pop the trunk and put the seats down and then set down a bunch of towels and blankets and bring snacks. That was back when we could park closer to the lake... those were good times."
"Sounds like fun," she smiles, "my parents used to take me camping all the time when I was younger. We'd set up a tent and have an air mattress on the bottom... it was all so exciting as a child."
She smiles but that quickly fades as it always does.
"I think that's why I couldn't buy the dress the other day... it just didn't feel right to be wedding dress shopping without my parents... or at least without my Mom there, you know? I would want to know that she liked that dress. I mean, I know it really doesn't mean anything but I kind of feel like it's important."
"I get it, I would want my Mum with me too, I'm sure."
"It's just so stupid... I shouldn't be so picky about all of this. It's a fake wedding anyway. It's not going to matter what dress I wear or what flowers are there or, really, if there's an actual wedding at all... none of that's going to change the fact that it's still going to be fake."
"It can still be nice... like a real wedding."
"Yeah, but after it's all done... all of this is too..."
So, I guess she really doesn't feel the same way. Maybe she doesn't want to keep in touch, or maybe she doesn't want anything to do with me at all. I guess I had thought that she would actually be considering staying around, at least, for a little while anyway.
After she says that, there's silence. I don't know what to say and I don't think she does either.
"You know what?" She says standing up. "I'm gonna go for a swim."
"Isa... it's nearly midnight and the water will be freezing."
"I want to do this... I need to do this."
"Why...?"
"I don't know... I have an urge to do it... I never just... do things, you know? I need to just do something I want to do and not overthink it."
Something about the confidence in her voice tells me to let her go for it. She's right, she should be a little more impulsive... she deserves to be.
"Okay... but if it's freezing don't say I didn't warn you." I chuckle.
"Don't you worry, I've done this before."
She gets closer to the water and takes off her socks and then begins to peel off her skinny jeans. I hadn't even thought about her undressing, I don't know what I expected. Even though we're out in the middle of the forest in front of a lake about ten feet apart, there's something oddly intimate about all of this. Maybe it's the fact that she's in the least amount of clothes I've ever seen her in, or maybe, it's because I know this is a moment only we will share.
After stripping down to only her bra and panties, she turns to me with a big grin on her face to show her excitement. She tries to muster up the courage to just run in by jogging on the spot.
"I'm gonna do it..." she says as if she's trying to convince herself to just go for it.
"You can do it."
"I'm doing it... I can do it."
"It's just water, you're going to dry off eventually."
"I'm scared..." she shakes the jitters out from beneath her skin.
"Just do it!"
"I'm doing it! I'm doing it!" she revs up. "I'm doing this!!"
Then a series of splashes insue as she runs full throttle into the water, screaming out as she does -- probably from excitement with the added bonus of the freezing lake. Once she's in, the water calms around her with her elbows just above the cold blue water.
"Oh... it's cold..." she shivers.
"I told you it would be." I laugh.
"Come on. Your turn."
"No, I'm good."
"I did it! You can do it!"
"I know I can but I don't want to."
"Come on, it's fun!"
"You don't look like you're having fun..." I say, looking at her standing there with her arms wrapped around herself in the freezing water.
"It would be more fun if it wasn't just me!"
"Not gonna happen."
"Fine... I'll get out then..." She sighs, making her way back to the lake side.
Before she can walk about two feet, she hisses through her teeth and stops in pain.
"Ow, ow, ow!"
"What happened?!" I stand up, in a panic.
"I think I stepped on some glass... gosh, my foot!"
"Can you walk on it?!"
"I don't know... it hurts." She winces. "Oww!"
I know that I have to go in there and help her out so I take off my shirt and then my pants and socks with my shoes. Left only in my boxers, I rush in to help her out, careful to not step on any glass myself.
When I get to her, I offer her my arm and she winces when she takes a step, falling back into the water once again.
I rush to help her get up but before I make another move, I can hear her emerge from the water laughing.
"What's so funny?"
Then, she stands up, completely fine.
"Gullible... noted." She laughs.
"Okay... not funny. I was trying to help you. I was worried you were hurt."
"Ah, don't be a poor sport! You're in the water now, aren't you?"
"Yeah, and it's freezing."
"You're welcome." She grins with an underlying smirk.
"Wow." I grin.
"What?"
"You really just did that..."
"Yeah, I did. You're not hard to persuade."
"Well, I'm not going to believe you next time!" I laugh.
"Ah, yeah, you'll still come and help me."
"You seem so sure."
"No, I know you will, it'd kill you not to."
"Well then, I didn't expect to see this side of you... I didn't think there was this side to you."
"What? I can play games too. I'm not a scared little girl, I can be mean when I want to be."
"Mean? I was thinking more like evil."
"Wow... that's a whole other deal... too far."
"Awe, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." I say with sarcastic sympathy.
"Malik! Play nice!" she says, splashing me.
"Don't start that with me or else you'll drown in a wave."
"Quite a lot of talk for someone who's standing, shivering four feet away."
"Are you egging me on?"
"Hey, I'm just saying." She shrugs her shoulders.
"Okay... alright... It's on!"
And with that, a water fight ensued. I begin to chase Isa until she stops and shields herself from the wave I create to splash her. She splashes back but not nearly as much as I do. It isn't until she's gasping for breath that she calls a truce.
"Jeez, Malik... you weren't kidding with that drowning threat."
"I never joke about drowning," I smirk.
As she wicks away the hair from her face and wipes her eyes clear of waterdrops, I can see now how genuinely she's smiling. She's having fun, forgetting about everything else. This is a success.
"That was fun." She admits. "I need to do that more often."
"I can splash you again, Isa. You'll always lose."
She smiles even brighter and lets out a laugh.
"I don't doubt it." She says before looking back out to the water.
As she looks out at the lake, I look at her. She's completely soaking wet and her hair falls down her cheeks and sticks to her skin in whichever which was it can. She looks so short as the water comes up to her waist. And her eyes, they have been continuously glowing from the moonlight against them. She looks beautiful.
"Hey, look! I think I see a loon!" She points off into the distance.
I look off to where she points, but there's no sign of a loon in my sight.
"A loon? Where? I don't see one." I admit.
"Right out there!"
I stare out to where she points and squint my eyes, hoping to see it, but I still don't see anything.
"Here..." she says as she struggles to walk over closer to me to show me properly. "It's right over there... next to that buoy." She points.
Now, closer to me and able to point to it from my position, I'm able to see the faint silhouette of the bird calmly sitting on top of the water.
"I don't think I've seen a loon here in ages. Mind you, I haven't been here in ages but wow, there it is." I admit.
Then, there's this sudden realization that we are merely a foot apart. She looks up at me with a look I can't quite read and I'm unsure of what to say. So, I decide to admit it, I decide to say what I wanted to say earlier.
"Please don't disappear... I don't want this wedding to end and then we end up becoming strangers again. I know we don't know each other well and I know I was shitty for a while but, it doesn't feel right... you leaving straight away."
She looks at me with a different kind of look. One of confusion but also curiosity.
"But, it's just inconvenient for me to stay."
"No, it's not. I don't want you to leave... I want to actually get to know you and be friends... or maybe even more than that... if you want that too..." Now, I'm just flying by the seat of my pants with this confession.
I don't mean to put her on the spot, hell, I didn't even think I'd be admitting this. I don't think I've fully admitted this to myself. But the truth is, I have this perfect opportunity to be able to actually have a relationship with a girl that could be good for me. Maybe it's premature to suggest such a thing, especially since this is the first night I've really accepted that I don't want her to go, but I guess these feelings have built up over time.
"I don't mean to put pressure on you... I just... I needed you to know what I've been thinking about..."
Speechlessly, she stands in front of me, still looking up with that same look. I'm not sure if she knows how to respond.
"I-um... I hadn't thought about that..." she admits. "I mean, I have... certainly, I have. I just, I didn't think you had any interest in actually trying. Hell, I even kind of admitted to your Mom that I wish you did... I don't know what to say..."
"Just... say you'll try... with me. I know I'm not the easiest person to be around... I have baggage and I can't trust as easily as I'd like to... but I can promise you that I'll try to give out the best of me... just as long as you can put up with the bad parts."
I think that, right there, was unintentionally the vows I was meant to propose with a ring, or perhaps, in front of an altar. It just so happens that I accidentally said them without even meaning to.
And then, as I would have hoped, she smiles.
"Okay," she grins. "If you want to try, then let's try."