I really hate crying, and I mean hate it. There is nothing good about crying. Even if they're happy tears, they still stain your cheeks and cause your throat to choke up. I've never really experienced happy tears, but I'm sure they're just as dreadful as these ones.
I don't know what it was about what he said but his voice hit me. He raised it, yes, but that's nothing I'm not used to. I mean, not used to, but I can handle it.
I guess I just feel bad. He's so angry here. I can tell he's trying to be good but it's hard to be kind to the person whose messing up your life. Especially when they mean little to you.
After drying my eyes and clearing up my blotchy face in the mirror, I sit down on the toilet, not wanting to go and bother Zayn anymore. A break from me is warranted after what I've caused. Of course his girlfriend would be angry, I would be angry if I were in her shoes too.
Such a burden.
About ten minutes later, I go to leave and find that the door is stuck on something. So I push harder until the tension releases and I find myself almost flying out of the bathroom. But he catches me, grabbing my shoulders before I can completely face plant onto the bed.
"I am so sorry... I don't know what's wrong with me!" I look to him, standing up on my own two feet and feeling like such an idiot.
"No no, it's okay..." he looks a little guilty himself, I don't know why. "I'm sorry, by the way. I didn't mean to make you cry or upset you. I shouldn't be taking this out on you."
"It's fine, I get it. It is my fault."
"I mean, it isn't totally your fault... we've always had our problems and I'm sure if not you right now we'd be arguing about something else." He says while walking around this bed I sit on to sit on the other one.
I go and sit down on the other side to face him.
"Isn't it tiring though, arguing all the time?"
"Yeah, but... I guess sometimes it's worth it to fight... because I'd rather be fighting with her than alone." He says quite honestly.
I was shocked at how blunt and honest he was about the whole thing. I overstepped a little in asking but he didn't seem to mind answering.
"I get that..."
I guess we aren't as different as we seem. Afraid to be alone so we cling to people who are closest to us, even if they're bad for us. Difference is, I'm not doing that anymore.
"Mind if I ask you a question?" He asks.
"Don't answer this if it's too personal but... what are you coming here for, like what are you running from I guess is what I'm asking?"
I knew he'd ask at some point, maybe not the first day we've met but I knew that question would come up. Honestly, I don't think I should tell him, not yet at least. I don't need him pitying me anymore than he already does. I just don't want to involve him in this if this is only temporary.
"It's a long story... one I don't really think I should tell. I just haven't had a good time with life these past few years and I needed to get away from that so... here I am."
He nods. He clearly didn't expect to get an answer. Not so soon anyway.
"That's okay. I understand you not wanting to talk about it."
"Maybe another day, another time."
"Over some hot chocolate?" He chuckles.
"Yeah, that would be good."
YOU ARE READING
Sometimes | z.m.Romance
ROMANCE | "Sometimes things change." A marriage arranged to help her start a new life has left Isabelle and Zayn stuck in the middle of a relationship neither of them are enjoying. In the beginning, this marriage wasn't meant to be about love, rathe...