Bi-Curious
Chapter 13
"I Want it All"
Ethan
It's the next Monday when I find myself parked on campus with Charlie in my passenger seat. I still look beat to hell, but at least most of the swelling has gone down. I'm nervous about coming back here; I know Tony's not finished with us. Charlie humiliated him and Tony has always been the type to hold grudges.
I want to stick to Charlie like glue, but I know he won't like that, so I've settled on letting him go after our class together. I just have to keep reminding myself that he can take care of himself.
The way he was shaking that day would prove otherwise, though.
I unlock the car and look at him. "Are you ready?"
"It's just school, Ethan. Of course I'm ready." Charlie punches my shoulder lightly before ruffling my hair. "Now let's go."
"Okay." I force myself to smile as we head inside.
Charlie drops his homework off at the front of the class before finding his seat at the back and pulling his laptop out of his bag and opening it up. "We have a project that we're getting today. It'll be due in a few days. Will you actually do it?"
I sigh heavily. "I can do, like, some."
"I'd rather you use me for my ass than my brains, Cowboy." Charlie pulls out a sour apple flavored blow pop and sticks it in his mouth, already getting to work.
"Your brains are so nice though." I groan. "I don't even know what half this shit means."
"That's because you rarely do the homework or take notes." Charlie continues to tap at the keyboard. "You should try a little bit more in this class. I happen to find smart guys and/or hard workers very sexy."
I roll my eyes. "If you give me something to do, I'll try my best."
"If we get an A, I'll suck your dick wearing whatever you want," Charlie says nonchalantly.
I look him over. "Alright."
"I could look like I'm from a brothel back in the Wild West." Charlie keeps typing, not even looking at me. "Dressing up and roleplay are pretty fun."
"Fuuuuck," I groan, imagining it. "You suck, you know that?"
"I just know what I want, Ethan. I made a checklist when I was thirteen and I stick to it." Charlie smirks at me. "You check enough of the boxes already. There are fifty and you check more than half. Most only check off like twenty-eight."
I smile. "You're welcome then." I lean over to look at what he's typing. "How do I check the rest?"
"I'll share the document with you. It's the school portal. I just need your email."
"You didn't answer my question." I snicker and take out a piece of paper and a pen to write down my email.
He puts it in and places the slip of paper in his leather journal. "It's quite the task, almost impossible," Charlie says, shrugging his shoulders.
"I see," I hum. "Good thing I love a challenge."
Charlie smirks, not making eye contact. "I'm sure you do."
I watch him until the end of class when we separate. Instead of going to the field like usual, I head to the next class, stopping in the bathroom along the way.
"Hey, Eli Dechart, right?" Michael Brown asks, drying his hands under the hand dryer.
"Ethan," I correct, pausing. This is Michael, one of Charlie's other hookups. We've never spoken a word to each other, so why is he speaking to me now? "What's up?"
"You're Charlie's friend, right?" He asks, adjusting his hat.
"Yeah," I eye him suspiciously. "What's it to ya?"
"Do you think you could help me with something?" His brown eyes look down into mine, reminding me of the height difference.
I lean against the counter. "Depends on what it is."
"I want to ask Charlie on a date and I need to make sure his interests are the same or at least similar as they were back in high school." He stands by me and pulls out his phone, his lock screen a picture of what seems to be a prom two photos made into a mini collage. The one on top is of Michael making a face with his hand to his chin in thought, a large grin on his face as a Charlie who appears to be in freshman year of high school pokes his face with his tongue. It's the happiest I've ever seen him. I realize that I don't often see him happy and I really want that to change. I want him to smile like that because of me. The picture below is a remake of the earlier prom photo, but more recent, Charlie's senior year. He really has been with this guy forever. I don't like seeing him with someone I know is his ex, someone who now wants to change that and get back together with him.
I feel awkward being put in the middle of this, especially since I'm starting to like Charlie more and more. I'd definitely qualify my feelings as a crush now. A crush I'm hoping Charlie shares. I can't just let him slip out of my fingers, but Michael has known him longer, he used to make him so happy, he's tall, and he's hot. How could I possibly compare?
Michael pulls up a pirate movie that's recently come out. "Charlie is still a pirate fanatic, right? Does he still have that massive movie collection and the box set of that pirate series and the pirate books? I was thinking of taking him out for frozen yogurt and watch this movie. He used to be obsessed with frozen yogurt. He loved how 'he was gifted with immense topping power' and would load down on toppings." He smiles fondly.
I feel lost, like my whole world is shifting. I didn't know that about Charlie, I didn't know any of it. I didn't know he was obsessed with pirate movies, he's never shown me his collection. I didn't know he liked frozen yogurt either. Now that I think about it, I barely know him at all. I don't know his interests other than journalism. I don't know how he likes to spend his free time, or what he likes to eat, or even what music he listens to. All I know is that he's gay, has a brother, loves Momo, and needs sex. For someone who considers him a friend, that's jack shit.
Michael waves his hand in front of my face and I snap out of my thoughts, taking a second to remember what he'd asked.
He wants to take my Charlie on a date. He wants to take him away from me.
I don't know what to say, so I just say the first thing that comes to mind. "You know he sleeps with other people, right?"
"Yeah, of course I know that. I also know that he doesn't hook up with other people when he's in a committed relationship. Charlie's actually really faithful." Michael smiles. "Plus, I have one thing the others don't, his virginity." His smile softens at this memory.
I stare at the wall. If Charlie says yes to this guy, I won't be able to fuck him again. I can't stand the thought that I might never be able to touch him again, hold him again, kiss him again. I've just recently learned that I'm bisexual, I have so much more that I want to explore and try with him. I can't lose him now, not like this.
"Sorry, man," I force a bitter smile onto my face. "I can't help you."
His expression falls. "Oh. Okay." He laughs awkwardly, playing with his necklace. "Fingers crossed, I guess." He smiles. "See you around."
"Yeah." I wait till he leaves before letting my expression drop. I turn and stare at myself in the mirror. I'm not nearly as hot as him, I'm shorter, and inexperienced. No one would choose me over him. Charlie would have to be insane.
The only hope I have is that when Charlie got together with me, he said he didn't want anything romantic. I just have to hope that applies to everybody, but who knows, Michael is his high school sweetheart, his first... how can I expect Charlie to say no to that?
I gather my shit and leave the bathroom, forgoing class and heading out to the back parking lot since the field is off limits to me now.
I sit down somewhere secluded and pull out a cigarette, lighting it, and sticking it between my lips.
I stay there, going through half a pack by the end of the day before getting up and heading to my car. I still have to take Charlie home.
Charlie surprises me, jumping on my shoulders from behind. "What is this? My sexy cowboy has turned into a sad cowboy."
My spirit lifts slightly. "Nah, I'm good. Hard day." I ruffle his hair.
"How? I'm positive that you didn't go to class." His hands wander around my chest boredly.
I smile at the feeling. "Maybe I was working on our project."
"Mmm. No you didn't." He bites my shoulder.
I turn around and grab him, pushing him up against the car. I look into his eyes and have a burst of desire to fight for him. I won't let Michael or anyone else take him from me. "Now who said you could bite me like that, pretty boy?" I purr.
Hazel eyes gleam mischievously. "I was being affectionate. I don't see a problem. You're going to get permanent lines on your forehead."
"Maybe if you were good, I wouldn't have them." I smirk and peck his lips before getting into the driver's seat.
Charlie crawls into his seat and crosses his arms. "I'm good. I'm fucking great."
I click my tongue. "I don't know, Charlie. I think you're gonna have to prove it to me."
He scoffs. "No more brownies then."
I gasp dramatically. "Babe! How could you?!"
"If I'm not good enough, then you don't get to experience the many wonders of Charlie Adrian King." Charlie crosses his arms behind his head and looks straight ahead smugly.
"I never said you weren't good enough." I turn to him. "You're more than good enough. I meant your behavior, I was trying to be a sexy top."
"I'm pretty naughty." Charlie laughs. "Though I do donate a lot, so it balances out."
"That's good." I smile and start the car.
"So I heard that you were going to be naked and in the guest room bed with me when we get home," Charlie says nonchalantly, playing on his phone.
"Hm, did you now?" I smirk and start heading back to his place.
"Yep. I heard that you were very sad and in need of physical contact from yours truly, that you needed my skin pressed up against yours platonically to feel like a winner." Charlie hums.
I smile, though hearing him remind me that his feelings are platonic does hurt a little, but I'm not going to let it ruin my time with him. "That sounds perfect."
"I know."
We reach his place and head up. I grab some water before we go into the guest room. "Warning, I probably smell like cigarettes."
He scrunches his nose up. "Gross. You're gonna give me third hand smoke and I'll die."
"I won't smoke around you." I decide and pull my shirt off. "I'll take a quick shower."
"What a gentleman." Charlie smirks and starts to strip down and plops down in the bed, pulling out his journal to write. "I'll be waiting."
I nod and go take a quick shower, drying myself off before leaving the bathroom to join Charlie in bed. I curl up next to him and wrap my arms around him. "What are you writing?"
"Stuff." He puts it away and buries himself into me, pressing his body flush with mine. "Tell me when you feel happy." Charlie puts his lips to my neck and closes his eyes.
I just concentrate on how it feels to be so close to him. "Michael came to talk to me today."
"He did? What about?" Charlie asks, kissing my neck.
"He wants to ask you out."
"Oh."
"Yeah, he's really sweet." I stare at the ceiling, my heart beating almost as fast as when I'd pulled the gun on that cashier.
"He is, but I don't want to get back together with him. I've told him that. I do miss going on dates though. Staying at home all the time can get kind of boring. We broke up so that he could find himself in college, but he hasn't really tried to be with anyone except me. I really like Michael and I'll always care really deeply for him. He's just not what I need right now. I'm not the same as I was as a freshman in high school. I'm different. He's perfect the way he is, and he was perfect for me as a freshman, but not perfect for me now. He loves me more than I can ever love him and I think he'll thank me one day when he realizes that I'm really not right for him and he can finally find his forever person," Charlie rambles.
I nod, my anxiety depleting now that I know he won't say yes. "That's understandable. And if you miss going on dates so much, you could just go out as friends," I look at him, "or with me. But, if you honestly want him to move on, you should probably stop sleeping with him. He's never gonna move on if you're still in his life so much." I advise him.
Charlie sighs. "I haven't had sex with him since the skinny dipping. This all started when I was really drunk and lonely and he was the only person who came to mind. Then we had sex and it just became normal. It's been like a summer fling. I told him last week that I didn't want to hook up anymore and I guess he thought that meant I was open to serious relationships again. I'll just talk to him again." His lips move to my jawline. "I'd love it if you took me places, Ethan."
"Then I shall. I wish you good luck with all of this, it can't be easy." I lean closer to him, sighing pleasurably.
"I got you a present." Charlie's hands caress my chest.
"Seriously?" I look at him, excitement building. "What is it?"
He grins giddily and puts my hands over my eyes and leaves. I lie on my back, covering my eyes as I wonder what he went out of his way to get me.
I feel a weight being added to my body as Charlie straddles me. "You can open your eyes now."
My eyes open and I gasp, overwhelmed with surprise and gratitude as I see what Charlie has for me. In his hands, he has a big case holding a sketchbook, sketch pencils, colored pencils, line art pens, charcoal with charcoal pencils, kneaded erasers, and chalk and oil pastels.
"I hope you like it," he says softly.
I stare at him, mouth open, and try to remember how to speak. "Holy shit." I touch the supplies to make sure they're real. "Like it? I fucking love it! You didn't have to do that for me, oh my god, this must've been expensive!" I grab his chin and pull him in for a passionate kiss. "Fuck, this is incredible."
The dirty blond giggles. "You're welcome."
"You're a fucking angel, Charlie." I smile brightly.
"I hope to see good things from you." Charlie grins.
"Dude, I'll draw you anything you want." I laugh happily and hug him. "Thank you."
"It's really no problem," he insists. "You happy now?"
"Yes," I kiss his neck. "I'm very happy."
"I'm glad."
"Come here." I set the case aside and pull him down on top of me and nuzzle against his neck. "I think you're the best friend I've ever had."
"I feel the same." He giggles. "You're also my only friend, so that makes it easier."
I chuckle. "We'll have to get you more friends sometime."
"Nah. I'm good. You're all I need."
"If you say so." I relent, for now.
Charlie lies his head on my chest. "What makes you draw? Do you have a muse or something?"
"I usually just sketch when I'm bored, but if I take the time to draw something, it's usually to express an emotion I'm not able to express or to create something I want to see."
"That's nice." He hums.
"Tell me about you, Charlie." I pet his hair.
"What do you mean? What about me?"
"Anything about you, everything about you." I smile softly. "What do you like and dislike, what are your hobbies, what's your favorite class, your worst class, why'd you buy Momo, what music do you listen to?" I ramble off.
"Can you ask specific questions one at a time?" Charlie laughs.
"Sure." I chuckle. "I heard you like pirate movies?"
"I do. I love them. Pirates are basically my cowboy equivalent."
I smirk. "I'll keep that in mind. What are your hobbies?"
"I write, play with Momo, watch pirate movies, read, cook, bake, do calligraphy, watch House Hunters and home renovation shows, masturbate," Charlie says, laughing.
"That's cool," I smile. "I'd like to see your calligraphy sometime and I also have a weakness for home renovations."
"They're amazing." Charlie hums. "I'll write your name sometime. I'm actually pretty quick at it, believe it or not."
"I can't wait."
"Any other questions?" Charlie asks, kissing my neck.
"Yeah, what made you get Momo?" I ask.
"Ah. I got her because I'm not used to living alone and wanted a roommate. I wanted a dog, but the building doesn't allow them. I decided to get another snake, but then I was like Shane would be sad if I got another snake because he'd think I was just replacing him, so I decided on a fish, but then I saw Momo." Charlie blushes.
I smile. "I love snakes and Momo is really lucky to have you."
"Thanks. Any other inquiries?"
"I guess I can stop badgering you for now." I chuckle. "Thanks for answering. I like learning more about you."
Charlie laughs. "You're welcome. Another lesson on Charlie, he likes Chinese takeout, so I'm gonna order some."
"Mind if I get in on that?" I ask.
"Be my guest." He nudges me. "Now who is going to pick it up? Or should we splurge on delivery?"
"I refuse to move." I groan. "You're so warm and soft."
"Fine, I'll pay for delivery, but we're going to have to get up sometime to answer the door and eat. Oooh. Maybe we can watch some home reno shows~" Charlie wiggles his eyebrows.
I smile. "Sounds like a plan."
___________________________
Author's Note:
Very cute bonding. Do you think Charlie will ever return Ethan's feelings?
Thoughts?
-Jex
-
Thanks for the fanart, AriaGoth!