KABANATA LVI: Under
Despite of the roller coaster ride of emotions that we've been through, I could finally say that the storm is over. Everything is starting to fall into place. Ken's recovering well. My pregnancy is fairly smooth sailing. I've patched things up with my parents and we're catching every bit of stories that we've missed for the past years.
I could really say that we've weathered the greatest storm of our lives.
It's been 3 weeks since he got out of coma and 2 weeks after he was released from the hospital. He insisted on staying in his condo but his Mom firmly opposed the idea. Gusto ni Tita, sa bahay nila siya tumuloy para may makapag-alaga sa kanya habang nagpapagaling siya ng tuluyan.
He was left with no choice when I supported the idea. Hindi ko rin naman kakayanin na alagaan siya mag-isa. We need every tinge of help we could get from everyone and if you would ask what our status is, I'll answer it with 'I really don't know.'
Hindi pa namin napag-uusapan ang bagay na 'yun. Ayoko namang sakin manggaling ang usapang 'yun. Natatatakot akong hindi ko magustuhan ang magiging sagot niya. Basta sa ngayon, masaya kami at kapwa naming ninanamnam ang bawat araw sa piling ng isa't-isa.
I believe that words are not important, as long as you both understand each other—by heart and soul, you'll get by. Diba? Tama naman ako? I convinced myself.
But I know, deep inside me I'm wishing he'll make it official. Gusto ko rin kasi ng assurance. That despite of how broken I was, tanggap pa rin niya ko. Hindi mawala sa dibdib ko ang pangamba.
"What are you thinking, baby?" a warm breath of air disrupted my thoughts.
Tiningnan ko siya. He looks fairly well. Hindi na siya namumutla tulad nung mga unang araw niya. Unti-unti na siyang nakakarecover sa lahat ng nangyare.
I shrugged as I caressed my tummy. Nakasanayan ko na yata talaga ang paghimas sa tiyan ko sa twing nag-iisip. It's like my baby is giving me a clear mind to think.
Umiling ako. Sinandal ko sa dibdib niya ang ulo ko at mariing pumikit. "Inaantok lang ako." Hindi ko talaga alam kung dapat ko bang sabihin sakanya ang iniisip ko ngayon. Napansin kong mas humigpit ang yakap ni Ken sakin.
"Ang higpit naman nang yakap mo nasisikipan kami ng baby ko." Pabirong sabi ko. Napahawak pa rin ako sa tiyan ko habang siya ay mahigpit na nakapulupot ang braso sa balikat ko.
But instead of parting his embrace, he just chuckled. "Whatever you're thinking, I hope it doesn't involve leaving me behind." He mumbled and planted a quick peck on my forehead.
Isang bagay na napansin kong nagbago sakanya mula ng magkabalikan kami, he became a clingy man. Laging nakayakap o kaya ay nakahawak sa mga kamay ko. Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo dahil gusto ko din pero kitang-kita ang pagbabago niya.
Minsan naiisip kong ito ang epekto nang ginawa ko noon pero sa 'twing magsosorry ako sakanya ay pilit naman niyang iniiba ang topic. Kaya minabuti ko na lang ng pabayaan siya.
I shook my head. "Sorry." Yun lang naman ang kaya kong sabihin sakanya.
He sighed. "I was just joking, baby. Chill it out!" I nodded and gave him a tight hug. Nasasaktan ako 'twing naalala ko yun kasalanan ko sakanya. I just hope this guilty feeling will go away—soon.
"Bastusan dude. Respeto sa mga single." Hiyaw ni Kiel sa mapagbirong tono. Nagtawanan ang mga tao sa sala.
Ken snorted and glared at Kiel who's seated beside Raphael and the rest of their cousins. I adjusted my seat. Para naman hindi kami magkadikit ni Ken. Like what Kiel said, masyado na kaming PDA and its starting to get uncomfortable. Nahihiya pa rin naman ako kahit kilala na nila akong lahat at saksi sila sa kung ano ang pinagdaanan namin ni Ken sa naging relasyon naming dalawa.
"Get a life Ezekiel." Sinubukan kong ngumiti. Buti na lang andito sila para malipat ang atensyon naming dalawa.
"Just chase your girl and stop meddling with our life." Ken teased him.
"Girl?" tanong ko.
He nodded. "What's her name, again? Hindi ko matandaan." Mabilis namang nagbago ang mukha ni Kiel.
"She isn't part of my game. Puro kayo kalokohan, I'm serious about her." My brow arched a little with his tone. Biglang nawala yung mapagbirong Kiel na kilala ko.
Now, I'm curious about this mystery girl—whatever the name is I want to meet her.
"Yeah right, you're serious about her but she's treating you like some kind of boy toy." I'm awed that even the silent Raphael is bullying Kiel. Bihira lang sumali sa usapan si Raf pero mukhang iba ang ihip ng hangin ngayon.
Kiel scratched the back of his head. "Bakit ba ako naging topic?" inosenteng tanong niya. Nakakatawa ang mukha ni Ezekiel. Para siyang bata na nagmamaktol dahil pinagkakaisahan siya ng mga pinsan niya. I find it really cute.
"Hindi ba pwedeng kayo na lang. You're the love birds here. Daig niyo pa ang ibon kung magtukaan." He grumbled.
Ibon? What the hell? Nagsmack lang, ibon na agad na nagtutukaan? I felt like slapping Kiel but my thoughts we're erased when I saw fluffy cheeks. I fought the urge of pinching it. Pinaglilihihan ko yata si Kiel. But I'm already on my 4th month. Hindi na paglilihi 'to. I debated on my mind.
Siguro laking pasalamat na niyang hindi siya napapansin nung mga babae kasi may kaniya-kaniyang lalaki silang kasama. Chloe's with Liam, her fiancé. Celine's with a guy named Chris—her 'suitor'. Nasa kabilang sulok sila ng living room at hindi na pansin ang pambubuyo na ginagawa ng mga lalaki kay Kiel.
Ken and Raf laughed their hearts out pero si Ken ay panaka-naka lang kasi tiyak masasaktan siya kung ibibigay todo niya. After all, his wounds still needs time to fully heal.
"I bet you haven't even touched that girl." Subok ni Ken.
"Say what?" hasik niya.
"Nag-s*x na ba kayo?" Raf asked blatantly. Pakiramdam ko ay namula ang pisngi ko sa tanong nila kay Kiel. Hindi naman ako ang babaeng nasa usapan pero hindi pa rin maganda sa pandinig ko ang bagay na yun. I think it's a natural for a woman like me to feel sensitive about that topic.
Boys and their adventures in bed. Tsk tsk.
I really don't mind that, but as a woman I really don't like s*x and tell. Kaya tinapik ko sa balikat si Ken. "Stop it, Ken. Let him be, that's too intimate to talk about." I ordered him. He gaped at me so I continued. "Ayokong pag talikod ko 'escapades' naman natin ang topic niyo." Bulong ko. I made sure na hindi maririnig nung dalawa ang sinabi ko.
Though, since we got back together we haven't tried doing the deed. Sensitive pa ako dahil sa nangyare between Jasper and I, while Ken is still recovering.
His brow arched a little, "Escapade? I never thought you're so animated, baby."Pinamulahan yata ako ng muka sa sinabi niya. Escapade? Saan ko ba nakuha 'yun? Kung anu-anong idea ang pumapasok sa utak ko.
"Psh Montemayor, I'm dead serious. Stop with the s-x talks!"Mariing suway ko. Humalakhak siya ng mahina. I really think this guy is insanely happy right now. Kanina pa siya tawa nang tawa kahit hindi naman nakakatawa ang sinasabi ko.
"Baby we haven't 'explored' since you got pregnant and I wouldn't dare share my heaven with them." He retorted after giving me a wink.
I snorted in dismay. "And would you want it to never happen again?" Tanong ko sakanya. He vehemently laughed at me. Pakiramdam ko umakyat ang blood pressure ko dahil sa kanya.
"Kung hindi ka talaga titigil dyan sa kakatawa you'll see the death of your heaven, Ken. I swear to all the Gods." I really don't mind them bullying Kiel but somehow I got pissed off with it. Nagiging bipolar na yata ako.
He laughed—again. Ugggh God he's frustrating!
"You wouldn't dare to defy me, baby." Pakiramdam ko ay umakyat ang lahat ng dugo ko sa mukha. D-amn this man! I just got myself into trouble. Akala ba niya ay porket nabuntis na niya ko ay papayag na lang ako ng ganun ganun na lang?
Well, newsflash Mr. Montemayor you just got yourself into a deep sh!t.
"AH GANUN?" napalakas yata ang sabi ko dahil napalingon sa gawi namin sina Celine. Even Ken made a slight nudge away from me. I rolled my eyes and threw him dagger looks.
"Kung ayaw mong tumigil then fine." I stood up.
Pinameywangan ko siya, "You just lost your chance of having your junior. Sisiguraduhin kong hindi 'to lalaki at kung lalaki man I'll name him after my first love." I blurted. I stuck my tongue out while he's wide-eyed before finally storming out of the living room. I heard his protest and his plea, but I did not mind him.
Narinig ko pa ang panunukso nila kay Ken. "Under ka pala Ken, e."it's the boys and the girls came out laughing their hearts out.
Palihim akong napangiti.
Eh de hindi niyo na pinag-usapan 'yung babae. I celebrated on my mind.