Started Typing On - 26/02/2019 (9.05 PM)
Chapter 68- 'It's Me'
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Author's Pov:
It was like the same two people who hated each other-thought they did-were running around the house again, the only difference was, they weren't kids now. They were mature-let say, just adults now. Not being a kid made thing a little awkward sometimes. As kids Jaanvi usually sat on Kiaan's back so he couldn't get up, or get pissed off. As an adult she was well aware of the fact she'll never do that.
She ran inside the room, it slipped out of her head to lock the door before walking in. Looking at the empty room, she opened the cupboard to see four pairs of white shirts. Wait! She took one out, holding it into her arm, examining it. He didn't bring four white shirts. He brought only two New York. Kiaan ran into the room, sighing in relief. She hasn't cut it yet.
He walked over to her, standing behind her small body. Sensing someone else's warm body behind her, she questioned. "Don't tell me you had extra four pairs of white shirts here." She couldn't understand his love for white, or the need to have total of twelve same coloured shirts. That's waste of money.
"Shut up." He muttered, not happy with the look and tone she asked the question in. He took it to heart, after all white was his favourite. He snatched the shirt from her hand, putting it back on the cupboard. Holding her wrist, he moved her out of the way, closing the cupboard door. Now he stood leaning on the cupboard door, all covered up by his body. He smirked, folding his arms "Now tear it apart."
She just stood there dumbfounded. Her lips twitched up first then turning into a thin line, not happy with his smirk. It was unfair in her view. She was small and he was big, covering up the whole cupboard door behind his back. But Jaanvi was always determined, least against him she was. She tried to push him but luck wasn't in her hand.
Rakshas. (Demon---Basically someone tall and big type.) The frustration was visible on her face. She clutched her shorts, annoyed at his stupid behaviour. "Move." She emphasised the single word with such anger and annoyance. She looks like a mini lion. He thought, chuckling at his thought.
Did my voice come out shaky? She questioned her brain, but quickly shook it away eyeing Kiaan. "Move away!"
"Or else?" he replied, giving her a challenging look. He leaned forward, gazing at her like she was his prey. She took a step back, her confidence shaking but didn't show it on her face. Taking small steps back she pulled her index finger out.
"S-stop." She stuttered, gulping down the feeling erupting in her stomach. Jaanvi wanted to look away from his intimidating brown orbs but her ego didn't let her. Every time she tried to look strong it made her look even weaker inside and out. Kiaan wanted to laugh seeing the lion turn into a mouse within seconds but compressed it by biting his inner cheek. Every step he took closer to her made her shake, not in fear but worried about what was going to happen.
She was trying to stay away from Kiaan but after talking to Aditi she realised she has made a wrong decision. If she wanted to remain far she shouldn't have married him. She knew it somewhere in her heart during the wedding preparations that one day, just one day Kiaan would expect her to be an actual, real life. The one day he wouldn't behave like he hates her, or wants to annoy her. But Jaanvi never when that day would come or how she was supposed to react.
She always had trouble admitting her feelings to others. Even now she can't admit that she loves him or feels like she is falling for him. But she knew she had kissed him. Not for the first time. The first time could have been a mistake but mistakes can't be repeated again and again. And I was equally passionate. She thought, biting her lip in nervousness.
Panic and nervousness seemed beyond her reach. She took another little step back when her leg touched the bed, making her lose her balance. In quick reaction, Kiaan grabbed her wrist pulling her into himself protectively. He smiled, genuinely this time, not a teasing one. "I've always been your saviour, Ariel." He whispered, wrapping both of his arms around her slim waist. His little words had hit her hard. Very hard.
Chachi was talking about Ma. How I had taken Ma away from papa. She was growling me for jumping on Papa's bed when Kiaan walked in. He had saved me from her lecture.
She remembered another incident.
Flash Back - Jaanvi was thirteen and Kiaan was fifteen-
"I promise I'll finish my lunch every day. J-just please--" She begged her chachi. (Aunty) Jaanvi had returned from school. She was putting taking her lunchbox out when Juhi had noticed it wasn't finished. She knew Jaanvi disliked butter and bread yet she had packed it for her lunchbox today. Normally Jaanvi would make her own breakfast but since she was running late today, Ansh requested his brother's wife to make it as he was also busy with work.
Even though Jaanvi hated the taste of salted butter on her bread, she was willing to eat it but being behind on an assessment she spent her lunchtime working on the presentation rather than eating.
"Eat it or you'll be punished." Juhi warmed, shooting Jaanvi her ugliest glare. For her own children she was a goddess, if her kids made mistakes, it was fine. Why? Because they were her blood. If Jaanvi even flinched she was punished.
Losing her patience and the heat already bothering her from all the walking from school to her house, Jaanvi answered back. "Why? Why should I eat it? Rashi and Jay don't finish their lunch yet you don't care! Jay even threw his sandwich in front of you yet you never said anything? Then why me? I'm not eating it." There was a range of tolerating someone's voice, and Juhi had definitely said enough for Jaanvi to snap back.
"How dare you?!" Juhi yelled slapping Jaanvi across her right cheek. Poor little Jaanvi's hand flew on her right cheek, where an angry red mark was already beginning to bloom. Her lips railed to hold the barrier and quick, sad sobs began to escape. It was the first time she'd been slapped. But it wasn't the first time Juhi wished to slap her.
Juhi held Jaanvi's hand, ready to drag her into the dark store door which Ansh's daughter feared and hated. Her hand tightly clutching her small wrist.
Just then Kiaan walked in the house to drop of his spare maths book for Jaanvi to use which Roshni, his mother had told him to pass on to her. He didn't see Juhi slap Jaanvi, if he had Juhi wouldn't be alive today or living in Ahuja house. He was young but he's always been an angry guy. The only thing he saw was Jaanvi watching Juhi, her hand on her right cheek.
"Aunty?" He called out, approaching both the females. On hearing his voice, Juhi dropped her hand from Jaanvi, cursing Kiaan in her head. Why does he always come in the wrong time? Jaanvi left the living room, running of into her father's room. The only room she stayed in when she was sad.
"Kiaan, come dear." She faked a smile, gesturing him to come forward.
"Um, Mum asked me to give this to Jaanvi." He looked up the stairs where Jaanvi had left. Seeing his eyes travelling to the stairs she quickly took the book from his hand. "I'll give her." She smiled. He shouldn't see Jaanvi crying or he'll tell his parents. "How are you? Why don't you go into Rashi and Jay's room? They'd love to play with you."
Juhi had always known that Kiaan had belonged to a good family. His mum was a college professor, his father had a great job earning a lot. And Kiaan, he was the eldest son out of both the sons. If my Rashi marries Kiaan she'd be playing in millions. Her daydream was shattered by Kiaan's uninterested voice,
"No thank you. They are kids to me. Jay plays with Legos, and I play games like football and cricket. And Rashi--" the way he said 'Jay plays with Legos,' stung her heart, he was indirectly calling him a kid or baby but she quickly shook it away thinking, calm down. He's my future son-in-law. At the mention of Rashi her eyes lit up, cutting him.
"-Rashi what dear?"
"Well," he shrugged. "She's a kid. And she's probably playing with dolls right now." He laughed earning a glare from Juhi. "Umm, I should go. Bye." He walked away thinking about Jaanvi. I wish I could meet her.
Flash Back End-
There weren't one but many incidents where Kiaan had saved her unintentionally. It was like god has send him for her, at the right time, at the right place. She realised it today remembering her whole childhood while Kiaan leaned forward, standing in her level, whispering in her ear in a low husky voice, "Counting how many times I saved you?"
He was only joking but she knew he had seriously saved her many times. She kept staring at him, unblinkingly, the only thing, person she could see in the whole room was him. Everything else had disappeared at the back of her head. Kiaan leaned back, holding her gaze.
"If you're going to keep staring at me like this, I'm going to do something." There was a smile playing on his lips but disappeared seeing how seriously and intensely she was looking at him. The first question that ran on his head was, Can she even hear me? Her husband placed his right hand on her cheek, gently tapping to bring her back to reality.
She let out a long breath, which was held inside for god knows how long. "Cat caught this Cat's tongue?" She couldn't understand what he meant. She did hear him but his expressions made her curious and worried at the same time. It was between being a little all smiley but a dark reason hidden behind it.
"Umm, soup?" Jaanvi asked, to divert his eyes from her and the topic. Wow! First coffee, then-then I don't know, and now soup! Great. Wait was it ice cream before? She was thinking deeply, it didn't go unnoticed by Kiaan.
"Yes, I am thirsty." He answered impatiently causing Jaanvi to look away. Oh, ok? In a second his face nuzzled in her neck, smelling her addictive scent making her shiver. She unintentionally tilted to the other direction giving him more space to access her neck. Jaanvi held onto his shoulder tightly, not liking the feeling of being vulnerable and nervous, because she wasn't like that. At the same time she liked being touched by him.
Her husband left small, wet kisses on her neck making his lady shiver every single time his lips contact with her skin. She felt elective sensation going through her body. He had known her sweet spot, by kissing on her neck he knew she wouldn't be able to resistance her crumble. He kissed her delicately, touching her soft skin with his warm lips when he finally spoke, "Don't you think you should apologise?"
His voice was super, duper low. Lower that you could imagine. It was close to a whisper. As he spoke every word, she tightened her hold on his shoulders even more. Jaanvi felt a hot breath on her neck, then a tender brush of lips. Burning as they made contact with her soft neck. A hand run through her wavy hair black, as the kisses became harder and more urgent. She felt another hand sliding down her waist, and pulling her closer to his coconut scented body. His kisses were now on her bare shoulders after he pushed the singlet and her bras strap down a little.
Her brain was like hijacked by this point. She couldn't think. And neither was she moving her hand to do something. For the first time she felt like she was the one who was mute. All the different and new feelings running inside her body were irritating at first but cooled down once she heard her husband once again.
"How long am I supposed to wait Jaanvi?" His voice was urgent, hiding under the kisses. She could feel the disappointment in his voice but remained quiet not being able to move even an inch. He kissed her neck, not leaving any spot. In that passionate kissing session his phone had rang but he decided to ignore it.
"A-a-ans-answer." She managed to whisper it out after stuttering. Her hands had abandoned her from the ability to even push him gently.
"No." he groaned, replying to fast. He walked forwards, with Jaanvi still in his grasp. "I waited ten years Jaanvi." He said after a few buzzes of his phone. Taking steps forward, as Jaanvi took back, her leg hit the bed, making her fall back and Kiaan on top of her with hungry eyes.
"Jaanvi?" He didn't feel like he could control but he wasn't going to force her into something or do something with having her consent. He looked into her eyes, pleading as his eyes soften. More than making her physically his he wanted her to confess her love. He doesn't realise it's the 'I love you too,' which he mainly meant by saying 'I've waited for ten years.'
She remained quiet, looking at his eyes. Watching them carefully to judge them. To judge him.
"When did Ma say she loves you papa?" She had asked her father when she was ten.
"Hmmm." He put his hand under his chin, pretending to think even though he remembered everything off by heart. He scribbled on his notepad sitting in front of him, with Jaanvi on his lap.
She whispered, "11 years ago." After reading from the book. "Were you happy?" She asked, now getting off his strong lap and laying on her tummy in front of him, gazing at him.
He nodded, smiling. "Then papa?"
He pointed at her. Once she gave him a confused gaze, he laughed putting his elbow on top of his palms, as if holding a baby, and then he pointed at her. Jaanvi laughed at her father cute expression. "You were happy, papa?" she asked, sitting in Indian style now.
"Hmm. Veeeyy" (Very) she laughed, kissing her father's cheek and said "I love you papa." He made a heart shape by his hands, and then pointed at her as in 'I love you too.'
Her father couldn't talk. Most of his life he actioned out saying he loves her, or wrote it in a paper, or explained through sign language. We often do small things for people we love, so they'd smile. In other words, we smile when we see someone laugh who's very close to our hearts.
Her father had always explained love as 'Pure, very emotionally attached feeling and loving.' Of course he was shy, and didn't mention sex in it even though that may have been the real hidden hidden reason behind the definition. Jaanvi could go to any extend for people she loved. She always did something she was into, something she wanted or knew she liked or loved.
She wanted to give in to her husband when she was ready. She had always imagined it to be after she's confessed her love for her husband. Telling him everything she likes about him, what she hates about him and what she's learnt from him over the time. The thing with Kiaan was, she's known him all her life. But this doesn't mean she'll break her morals or ignore her doubtful feeling or whether she loved him or not. For it was all about 'Yes, I'm sure.' Not 'Uhh, I don't know.'
Confession. She wants to confess before exploring a different world. And she was sure, when she'll confess her love to Kiaan, she'll talk, talk and talk. They've been in a strange, weird relationship for the past twenty years the max she can remember. With Kiaan she knows she'll confess all the things she loved about him since childhood but hid.
But she wasn't sure.
She wasn't there.
"No." She said, in a clear voice. All this time Kiaan was staring at her, trying to understand what was going through her head. "I don't do something I'm not comfortable with. And it's not because of you or who you are. It's me." she said with confidence, looking into his eyes sharply. She cupped his face, "I am your wife. I'm not running away nor I will. And I won't take years. I won't take months. I won't take weeks. I won't take days to confess my love to you when I've fall for you Kiaan. I don't hide my love for someone, I never have. I just want to be alive. I want to equally excited and happy as you are because you love me. I'm not there, but I am getting there. If you can wait ten years, you can wait for a little period of time."
She brought his face closer, peaking his lips lightly. At first he froze, she's never kissed him before or made any more but today she did. Her hands were gently yet firmly holding his face, his doing the same. Her lips touch his, and he knew exactly what to do and how to respond with full desire and love for her which he kept hidden in his heart for years. Their lips moved together like two dancer moving through a melody. She felt his lips delicate and warm on hers, making him smile.
He expected himself to be a little angry or impatient to be told to wait but he guessed, I think my Ariel knows just how to calm me down.
He could take it in a negative way, take her 'wait,' and turn into a harsh, 'no,' due to his ego hurt but he didn't. He's known her, more than that he respects her. Yup, he can't wait but he loves her more than his emotions. His craving. The way she tried to explain herself, how she did explain herself was enough for Kiaan to smile, understand and think, I waited ten years to be with you. To see a future with you, so couple more days, weeks, months, or even years is fine.
Married My Enemy
I think I'm giving my 95% female reader's high expectations as well as me, lol.
#SorryNotSorry