Edited: 24 June, 2020
I decided to change into the bikini after all and quickly undressed myself, before putting on the bathing suit. Although it made me slightly self-conscious, my friends were right. I was around people who were important to me and I was important to them. I trusted them. I had to let go of this unusual fear of mine.
As I stepped out from behind the foldable divider, I walked in front of the standing mirror that was placed right beside the door, to look at myself. I didn't quite feel ready to show my scar, but it was covered and I was with friends. I had nothing to feel ashamed about.
Yojin stood behind me with a cheerful grin across her face. "I like what I see." She chuckled, which earned an eye-roll from me, still being unable to hide the smile forming on my lips.
"Right!" I smirked and nudged her shoulder. I walked back to my bed and start searching for something to cover myself. I didn't mind being in a bikini, but I didn't feel overly confident about walking around in basically an underwear. I dug deeper in my bag and soon found one of my mesh cardigans which ended around mid thigh. I put it on, feeling more confident than before.
We walked out of the tent and headed towards the lake. We saw some of the boys playing with an orange ball in the water, while the other half of the group played chicken fight, sitting on each other's shoulders. I smiled at the cheerful shouts I heard and the happy expressions I saw on their face.
We got closer and sat down on a few bigger rocks in front of the water, under the shade of a giant tree, hiding away from the sun's burning rays. The boys didn't realise our presence, although they weren't much closer to us. We kept watching them quietly, enjoying the idillic moment. My eyes wondered to one particular person. Jimin. He wasn't as careless as the others, sitting on Hoseok's shoulder, but he definitely seemed more happy than I had seen him since what happened.
Jimin was smiling playfully, flicking Hoseok's forehead as he almost fell of his shoulders. I was unable to take my eyes away from his happy expression as he was trying to battle against Yoongi who was sitting on Namjoon's shoulders. I wished to be closer to him, but I knew it was a far fetched wish of mine. I was happy that he was finally relaxed, even if I couldn't be a part of it.
"He will come around." Yojin spoke with a gentle smile, but I just returned her expression in a pained form.
"Everyone seems to think that." I spoke, turning back towards the boys.
"Just give him some time." She tried to convince you not to feel down, but it didn't work.
"Let's forget about it, Yojin. We are here to have fun." I stated with a reassuring smile, that I was fine indeed.
"Then let's go in." She stood up and reached her hand out for me but I just shook my head. "Come on." She chuckled and pulled me up.
"I'm good." I replied. I was more than content staying on dry land.
"Come on, Y/N." Yojin whined, but I just waved her off with a smile.
"Are you two not coming in?" Hoseok appeared behind Yojin, placing his hand across her waist. I just shook my head, before replying.
"A bit later. I am fine here for now." I answered and my eyes followed as they walked into the water, Yojin turning back to look at me numerous times, before she finally accepted my reassuring smile.
I walked back to the tent to bring out a towel from my bag and laid it right next to the edge of the lake. I took off my carding and folded it up, putting it at the top of the towel as DIY pillow. I laid down on my back, enjoying the warmness of the sun, beaming straight at my body.
I felt relaxed as if all my problems have washed away, but I wasn't aware that it would only take a couple of minutes before that was over. I was just enjoying myself, feeling my eyes getting heavier, when a shade appeared behind my eyelids. As I opened my eyes, squinting, I saw Jimin standing above me, his expression unreadable.
"Can I join you?" He asked as he was hiding the sun away from me.
"It depends on why." I asked, not wanting feel his hatred anymore.
"To talk." He spoke in a low tone. I nodded in agreement and he took a seat beside me, letting the rays of the sun hit me hard once again. I turned to my side and leaned on my elbow, looking up into his brown orbs, waiting for him to talk.
"Nothing?" I asked, but I could see he was struggling with his words. "Then let me start. What is your problem with me?" I asked staring into his eyes, waiting for an answer.
"Nothing." He spoke, which made me huff, annoyed. I quickly composed myself, before speaking up.
"You certainly show 'nothing' in an unusual way." I raised an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation once again.
"Look, I didn't mean to upset you. It was never my intention to do so." He spoke with a guilty look in his eyes. I didn't interrupt though. I wanted him to talk finally. "I didn't mean to make you feel upset, I didn't want you to think that I hated you or that I was in any way mad at you." He shook his head with a sorrow look across his face. "I am angry, I am upset and I certainly feel hatred, but none of these feelings are directed at you, believe me." He looked into my eyes, almost begging me to forgive him.
"Still, I was the one you avoided, I was the one who got the nasty looks." I spoke up with a firm tone.
"I know and I am really sorry. I know I have been a douchebag recently, but I didn't know how else to behave." He looked puzzled as he played with his hands in frustration. "I didn't know how to talk to you, how to look into your eyes."
"I don't understand. You could have just behaved the same way like before." I frowned, being unable to understand where he was coming from.
"No, I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to be so casual. No." He kept shaking his head involuntarily, before I gently caught his chin in my free hand to stop him.
"Why couldn't you?" I asked as I forced him to look at me, but he turned away.
"If it wasn't for me, you would have never gotten involved in this mess. You would have never gotten attacked, captured, injured. It's all my fault and I just couldn't face you." He played with the hem of his black swimming shorts, trying to distract himself.
"I blame myself everyday for not listening to you, for getting everyone in trouble, but it's not helping. Just forget about that, right now. I believe noone is responsible. Huncheol is the one who is mentally unstable and if it wasn't for him, this would have never happened. So please, don't blame it on yourself." I asked him in a soft tone, trying to reassure him that his self-blame was completely unnecessary, but he just shook his head and kept his gaze on his hands grabbing at the bottom of his shorts.
"When we got there and you were laying unconscious at the trunk of that tree, I felt like I have lost all my strength. I felt like I betrayed you, I couldn't protect you." I shook my head in response, but he couldn't see that. "When he kept cutting into you skin and I saw the pain on your face as you tried to swallow your voice..." His hands started turning pale as he strongly grabbed his shorts. I placed my hand on top of his as he finally lifted his head and looked into my eyes. "I wanted to tell you how I felt when he asked me... I... I just couldn't get myself to." He heaved a deep sigh and I shook my head, not wanting to hear his reply.
"Please, just stop." I asked him in a powerless manner.
"Why?" He asked with a deep frown across his brows.
"Because I already know your answer. You didn't have to verbally reject me to make me understand you." I explained in a hushed tone.
"You misunderstand. You completely misunderstood. I never rejected you for a reason. I couldn't reject someone that I had feelings for." I frowned at him, my mind unable to register his words. He got hold of my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. "I could have never rejected someone I love." He whispered against my lips. My eyes widened at the sudden confession, but I had no time to react as his soft lips attached to mine, even more passionately than in the club. It wasn't rough, it was full of last, worry, guilt and love, as if he tried to put all his feelings into one kiss. I felt my stomach flip as he licked across my lower lip, trying to gain entry into my mouth. I moaned into the kiss as he pulled me closer by my waist and his hand slid down to my thighs, gently caressing it. I wanted to push him away, wanted answers, but I didn't have the energy to move anywhere but closer to him as I placed a hand on his cheek. He slowly pulled away, keeping his forehead against mine as he opened his eyes, breathing heavily. "I love you." He repeated his confession once again, making me want to embrace him. But I needed answers first.
"But then why did you stay away? Why did you act so distant?" I spoke, still trying to organise my breathing after his passionate kiss. He took my hand in his, holding onto it tightly as I pulled back to be able to look at him properly.
"I felt like I had no other choice. I wanted to be near you, I wanted to tell you how I felt, when you confessed to me, but I thought I would betray Danah if I got closer to you. When the girls attacked you I knew, I had to stay away for good. But then you started getting closer to Joongki and I just got jealous. I thought fuck this, I want her. That's when I kissed you in the club. I didn't even think, I just did as I felt right. But once again I felt guilty after that, I was confused. I thought maybe if I keep away from you, I could just get myself together." He lifted his hand to my face, caressing my cheek with his thumb. I leaned against his palm, enjoying his gentle touch. "When you went on a date with Joongki, I thought you were moving on. I thought that was it. I screwed up. Seeing you in the park, injured, unconscious, and all because of me, broke my heart. When Huncheol wanted me to tell you how I felt... that's not how I planned to tell you. I didn't want to make him feel satisfied. I didn't even deserve to say it. I wanted nothing but holding you in my arms and apologise for everything." He heaved a deep sigh pressing his forehead against mine, his thumb circling against my cheek.
"I love you." I whispered with a happy smile across my face before I kissed him, putting all my feelings into it.
I heard a couple of wolf-whistles coming from the water, before we let go of each other and turned towards the audience.
"Finally!" Hoseok shouted with a huge grin on his face.
"I'm guessing Y/N and I will be changing tent." Yoongi said with a knowing smirk and I laughed at his unsaid implications.
"What does he mean?" Jimin looked at me with a confused expression.
"You were supposed to be with Yoongi, while I was supposed to be in the same tent with Jungkook and Taehyung." I replied with a smile and raised brow, making him frown as he shook his head.
"Not a chance." He replied in a firm tone, which was meant to be serious, but felt more comical. "You guessed well." Jimin turned back to Yoongi as he picked me up, one arm under my back, one under my knee. I quickly held onto his neck, not to fall down.
"What are you doing?" I asked as he started walking into the water without even asking me.
"Things got a bit heated so I'm cooling you down." He smirked suspiciously. Before I could have even reacted, I was thrown into the water. I quickly came up to the surface, combing my hair back, removing the water from my eyes and hit him on the chest, playfully.
"That was uncalled for." I huffed as he came closer to me, placing his hands around my waist, hinting a quick peck on my lips.
"I couldn't miss it." He smirked, before he pulled me into another, deeper kiss. I chuckled against his mouth happily, as he pulled me even closer into his chest. "I could get used to this." He smiled and kissed the top of my head, turning me around to walk to our friends.
"Noone is stopping you." I chuckled.
Although it was the beginning of our relationship and we knew there were more and more obstacles in front of us, I was certain that if we got through such hardships so far, there would be nothing to stop us in the future.
I was just content where I was and who I was with.
The end
Notes: If you enjoyed it, don't forget to like the chapter. Thank you :)
I would like to thank everyone who read my story.
I was struggling with it for a while, but I'm happy I could finally finish it.
Thank you for the support, the reads, the votes, the comments and the interest over all.
Thank you again,
Heloise Daphne Brightmore