"I love you and that's the beginning and end of everything."
∞
- The littlest thing is where we find the most joy.
Sitting in a chair by their bedside while Lisa slumbered quietly in her exhaustion, Jennie wonders when exactly it was she had fallen in love with her.
There weren't many words and actions that could woo her and that was only normal, considering the fact that she had lived without affection for all her life, so she had no clear idea of how it felt – and because of that, she didn't find it the least bit attractive, she didn't know what it was, what it could or could not, and she was so secretly afraid of the dark and the unknown that it was almost ridiculous.
Lisa's stubbornness surprises her. Lisa's sudden devotion shocked her. The fact that she'd gone far enough to accept herself as she is now wholeheartedly, made Jennie learn to accept herself as well. Lisa is still optimistic despite the fact that her life was like a surviving perdition. Jennie knew that she could never compare the kind of damnation she had to the ones Lisa had gone through all her childhood life. We had our own kind of hell, and the choices we make reveal the true nature of our character because the way you treat yourself sets the standards for others, nevertheless, loving yourself and still forgiving others regardless of what they thought and made you put through, will always characterize a person as pure soul – and Lalisa Manoban is a pure soul.
There was a void inside Jennie, full of blues and animosity that no one saw in her but Lisa alone and mended everything with her pure love.
Heaving a sigh, Jennie raised her head, her gaze immediately falling on Lisa's tall figure, and wondered how she'd managed to land in such a situation, how destiny seemed to have, yet again, gotten a hold of her and, considerably against her will, shaken her so roughly she was sent on another path altogether. How had she ended up with such a pure loving wife?
Would there be a chance for her to be this happy if she never crossed paths again to this person?
Jennie doubted it.
Jennie loved Lisa so much that if she left again, it would be like another beyond-her-understanding-ill-fated-chapter.
Standing up, she heaved another sigh and crossed her arms over her chest. Lisa seemed peaceful and content, her face relaxed in her sleep. Jennie was always amazed when she looked at Lisa, not because of her looks, but because of the fact that everything she had ever wanted was now right in front of her.
Jennie lay in their bed, next to the deeply breathing Lisa. She gazed upon the ceiling thinking about one particular matter. Two weeks ago, she woke up early that morning feeling perfectly fine, but suddenly rushed to their bathroom, as there was a rumbling in her stomach, and then she threw up. Then the same instance happened every day and she was positive it would be an immediate rerun to this approaching morning. Lisa, being somewhat dumbly cute as she is, thought she was ill again and was always found at least three feet away from her. Jennie knew well that the pregnancy was a vexing sickness. Perhaps it depends on which way you look at it.
Jennie was also envisioning back when this episode might have followed. Two and a half weeks ago, Jennie had woken up in the middle of the night, and as she wanted to go back to sleep, she wrapped her arms around Lisa before kissing her on the neck, then snuggled closer to her. Lisa took this the wrong way and the result was – Jennie didn't get any more sleep that night. Yes, that was probably the cause of her troublesome state. Jennie smiled, not for the reason that she hadn't enjoyed it.
Jennie began to think about how to break the news to Lisa. Jennie turned her head to look at the blonde. Lisa was baby-like and cute when she slept – Jennie thought as she ran her fingers through Lisa's disheveled blonde bangs.
"No, scratch that, my Lili's handsome, period." Jennie whispered.
Jennie went out of her way to seduce Lisa, though considering their status of, basically, newlyweds - again, such a thing was easy to do. All either one of them had to do was look at the other and they ended up in bed - or just stripping each other down wherever they stood. They had found freedom in marriage and in living together again that had eluded them before, and were now far better; they had found a routine with each other.
They were a year and a half joyful into the marriage, and she was ecstatic. Jennie brooded, yes - often. But underneath the sorrow of perhaps losing everything over again, she knew she had come to the joy of gaining everything she had wanted. Jennie was happy, underneath it all. And that counted, for her and, she knew, for Lisa. They are now truly happy.
A light breeze carried into the room making Jennie shiver, Lisa felt this and brought her closer, wrapping her arms around her wife. Maybe I can tell her now? Jennie thought. She shifted her head and looked at her once more.
"Lisa-yah~..." Jennie enquired, her head pillowed on Lisa's half-bared chest, feeling her heart slow. "My Wife~." Lisa said affectionately, a hand patting Jennie's butt before sliding upward to her back. Jennie smiled, fondling a finger to Lisa's collarbone.
"Do you think... baby-pink is a good color for the nursery?~." It was said in the same tone that Lisa's name had been called in, and Lisa just brushed a hand around Jennie's back so that she could supply further warmth.
"That's nice~." Lisa said softly, eyes half closed, and Jennie smiled at the Thai even as she reached up to tug on her blonde hair. "Ouch! That hurts - I'm awake, Nini~. I'm awake."
Her dark-shaded and sparkling eyes – Jennie noted, were open and clear, though annoyances swam through them. Jennie kissed Lisa's neck. "Did you hear what I said? Or must I repeat myself?"
Rubbing her head, Lisa scowled. "Pink~. You said you wanted a baby-pink for the nursery -" The words Lisa spoke registered then, and she sat up immediately, pulling Jennie with her. "Wh-What? What did you say?"
Jennie laughed. "So I do have to repeat myself. I should have figured -" Lisa cut Jennie off, kissing her desperately, before pulling away to demand, again, that Jennie repeat herself. "Pregnant. Expecting a second baby, Lisa~, your second baby."
There were tears in Jennie's eyes as Lisa grinned and kissed her again, pushing Jennie back down so that Lisa could inspect her stomach that was still flat.
And with both hands pressed into Jennie's tummy, Lisa looked up at her and grinned. "No. Ours."
∞
- Milk ice cream is so sweet, so am I.
Jennie is the moodiest and most savage person Lisa knows, even more so now that she is pregnant. It reminds her of when they first met when every kind of little thing Lisa said sent a new attack on her way. Lisa chuckled at the memory of the younger Jennie. The only problem right now is that she's a lot worse with her hormones that are very out of tune. Those called hormones would explain why Lisa was currently at a convenience store at the ungodly hour of 2:30 A.M. for a certain moody 'dumpling' and her interesting cravings. As Lisa was searching through the aisles for milk ice cream and gummy bears because, Jennie just had to have them "Right now," when Lisa's phone rang. Wonder who that is? – Lisa thought sarcastically as she picked up the phone.
"Yes Nini~..." Lisa's just trying to stay on Jennie's good side, that's all.
"Don't forget Nini's Choco Milk and Avocado!"
"Avocado? Seriously?" Well, that was a new one.
Lisa realized her grave mistake was much too late. Lisa heard the sob before Jennie even started her sentence. "Nini was *hic* craving avocado!"
Oh fuck, God not again! – Lisa thought.
"No! No! No, that's fine! I'll find avocados, I promise. No need to cry~, baby~..."
Jennie squeaked a little in pleasure and replied, "Thank you~!"
Lisa could already picture Jennie's gummy smile over the phone and frowned. Really, it was that easy to soothe Jennie and to send her over the edge. A very thin line, Lalisa Manoban was walking these days. "Be back soon, Oke~! Saranghae~!" And Jennie promptly hung up, probably going back to sleep, which Lisa would love to be doing right now. Lisa just shook her head and sighed. Damn Jennie was lucky I loved her – Lisa thought.
Two hours and three stores later, Lisa was finally able to get everything on Jennie's ridiculous list. Seriously, who even needed Gomtang Mandu Stew, Mayonnaise Tuna Kimbap, and burgers on one list? God, Lisa hoped Jennie wouldn't start eating all of this in front of her; it was all Lisa could do to ease Jennie's stomach rumbling and buying all the stuff the brunette requested, but then again, Lisa couldn't even imagine seeing Jennie eat all of it combined together.
When Lisa finally came home and entered their house she found Jennie in their bedroom wearing her nightgown, reading a book she borrowed from Rosé. Lisa ran back down to the kitchen first and placed all the groceries in the cupboards and then headed back upstairs to join Jennie. The Korean brunette looked up when she heard the blonde come in and proceeded to frown. That's when Lisa saw Jennie's feline eyes start to glisten, and Lisa just walked to her wife's side ready to comfort her as needed. Lisa has always been interested in how Jennie's mind works, but even more so now than ever before. Lisa can't truly imagine how bad Jennie's hormones must be with this second pregnancy. As Lisa sat down on the bed next to Jennie, the brunette just looked at her for a little bit before she said anything.
"You never have time for Nini anymore~." Jennie sobbed, biting her lower lip.
Lisa just smiled slightly, leaned her forehead against Jennie's and replied, "All my time belongs to you, Nini~."
Jennie scowled at that. "You're lying! Nini doesn't need you."
Jennie smirked a little more at it. Jennie certainly never would have said that to her wife before, but Lisa likes this side of Jennie just the same. "You're right, my Nini~ doesn't need me~."
"Nini hates Lili!" Jennie's tears were really starting to stream down her puffy cheeks now.
"But Lili loves Nini~."
Jennie started to sob uncontrollably at that statement, and every other sob held an apology. "Nini's sorry! *hic* I'm just so emotional with this stupid pregnancy and *sob* I don't know how to handle it anymore! *hic*"
"That's why you're not alone anymore~." Lisa wiped Jennie's tears away and kissed her softly. "Come on~, we haven't gotten much sleep lately thanks to certain someone and I think we could both use some right about now." Lisa smiled to reassure Jennie that she was only joking, no need to cause more tears accidentally. Jennie gave Lisa a tiny smile and nodded in agreement.
"Arrasseo~."
∞
- True Love: Seeing your wife's bad side, her mood swings, and her crankiness, yet still wanting to be with her.
Jennie heaved a sigh born of pure frustration and annoyance as she stood up on the side of their bed, the sound of her bare feet slapping against the floors a telltale sign of her heavy mood.
"Lisa – Lalisa!" Jennie whispered harshly, jabbing her wife hard on the shoulder.
Lisa groaned in her sleep and rubbed her eyes sleepily.
"Eh- wha-"
"You're hogging all the space, move over!" Jennie said harshly.
Lisa looked at Jennie, bleary-eyed, before throwing herself back on her pillow with a loud snore, not caring for the fact that their bed was king-sized.
"PRANPRIYA!" Jennie screeched.
And before Lisa knew it, Lalisa Manoban – The Sought-after Best Choreographer, Chick & Boy Magnet, one of the most influential woman known, found herself face first on the floor. Okay, this was one time too many....
"Nini-"
"Nini your face! I'm tired, I'm sick, I'm exhausted and I need my sleep – and I cannot get it with you sprawling around the bed!" Jennie huffed.
"I was not sprawling~..." Lisa insisted, trying to kneel cutely as she looked at her fuming wife.
Jennie's puffy cheeks were tainted slightly pink through the moonlight, and her khaki hair glowed in radiance. As tired as she may have looked - as grumpy and as annoyed - she still was beautiful to Lisa. The Thai put a hand on Jennie's forehead, and brushed away her fringe with a nostalgic smile. Jennie looked at Lisa pointedly with her glowing catlike dark-brown eyes.
"Are you trying to be romantic?" Jennie said flatly.
"Way to ruin the moment, eh~" Lisa sighed and stood up, making her way to the other side of the bed.
Jennie huffed and hugged her covers to her chest, tears starting to pour out of her feline eyes. Lisa looked at Jennie before sighing and crawling towards the brunette with her arms outstretched. Jennie pushed herself off her pillows and leant into Lisa's arms while sobbing like there's no tomorrow.
"I'm so... *hic* ...sorry~..." Jennie sobbed. "I don't know... *hic* ...what's gotten into me~..."
"It's alright, Nini~." Lisa said, feeling a bit happy that Jennie had started to soften up. "No need to apologize–"
"Who said I was apologizing to you?" Jennie's voice was suddenly sharp and accusing.
Jennie pushed away from Lisa forcefully, life-threateningly glaring at the blonde with her catlike eyes like silts. Lisa gulped hard and looked at the brunette, her expression baffled.
"Oh~, don't you look at me like that!" Jennie yelled at Lisa.
"Wh –What?" Lisa said incredulously.
"See- you always do that! Just stop-" Jennie pushed Lisa- almost too strongly- that the Thai fell off the bed once again. "Just fall off the bed, like you always do!"
"Nini~ what are you talking about-"
"Lisa! I've had enough! Alright- I'm sick, I'm tired-"
"...-and exhausted, I know~..." Lisa said, slightly annoyed by Jennie's moods, as she picked herself up.
Almost immediately, Lisa wished she never said that.
"Go and mock me- you arrogant tyrannosaurus! You never appreciate- you big-headed rascal! I cook, I clean, I do everything in this darn pink house and do I go appreciated? NO! Do I get a thank you? NO-"
"I do say thank you~, baby~..."
"Out! I do not want to see you in this room AGAIN! Now out!" Jennie screamed, pushing her wife out of the room, and finally ending it with a loud, SLAM!
Lisa looked at the door with wide eyes, her mouth hung open.
"And close your mouth - you look like a monkey!" Jennie screamed inside their bedroom.
Lisa immediately tried to unlock it, and glared at the door. Love of her life, her very sweet loving wife, Lisa was ready to give Jennie a piece of her mind - but, she had to remind herself that Jennie was just going through a tough phase, so, Lisa counted till twenty three to calm herself. Lisa felt calmer already – her irritation was flowing away before –.
The door banged open again, showing a much disheveled looking Jennie, whose hair radiated the anger she showed on the Thai but for Lisa she is still looking beautiful as ever.
"You don't even care! You are an insensitive long-legged idiot!" With that, Jennie slammed the door again.
Lisa gaped at the door. That's it! With her eyes in a glare, her mouth set, she pulled up the hems of her sleeves, and took a deep breath-
*Over at Riley's room*
A very amused handsome boy lay wide awake in his bed. He stared aimlessly at the rainbow-lit ceiling above him; his face plastered a huge grin. A loud screaming-match was taking place just meters away outside of his room; the voices were so loud that the boy jolted from his slumber.
"The Moody Pregnant and The Taker" Riley sighed.
"When will NINI give birth and give us a break?" Riley whispered then smiled.
∞
- There is no better feeling than the movement of life inside you.
Jennie heard the front door opening and lowered the book titled 'My Not So Perfect Life' in her hands. Jennie glanced at the letters in the next paragraph: "Every time you see someone's bright-and-shiny, remember: They have their own crappy truths too. Of course they do. And every time you see your own crappy truth and feel despair and think, 'Is this my life?', remember: It's not. Everyone's got a bright-and-shiny, even if it's hard to find sometimes." ,before turning around on the sofa, ready to welcome home her seemingly looking tired wife when Lisa stepped into the room.
Seoul was dark behind the tall windows, which barred out the coldness of the night. The living room was scarcely lit, the rest of the house kept in blackness.
Only the rhythmical ticking of the clock had remained in Jennie's company as Riley peacefully slumbered due to exhaustion playing with Kuma all-day long, until Lisa arrived.
Her face lit up when Jennie saw Lisa rubbing her arms, helping herself warm up her body. Lisa had told Jennie that she would be late today and Jennie decided to wait for her wife, nevertheless.
From the way Lisa knitted her eyebrows as she walked over towards the brunette, Jennie recognized that Lisa was still displeased with her staying awake just for her but Jennie didn't mind the frown and held on to her aegyo-like gummy smile.
"It's already late. Why aren't you resting?" Lisa kissed the top of Jennie's head from behind the couch and the brunette could feel how cold Lisa's nose still was when it brushed her.
"I'm pregnant, not ill. I can handle some night reading~." Jennie automatically placed a hand on the bump on her belly. It had gained a size that hindered her from moving around freely. Standing up from the couch wouldn't be very easy later.
It was visible that Lisa grasped that answer with a grain of saltiness at the lovable sarcastic remark of her wife as she wrinkled up her nose. The tip of it and her ears had reddened from the cold air outside. Lisa gave Jennie one last pat on the shoulder before she averted herself to wash up.
At this point, getting home, reaching for the warmth on her own four walls had become one of her favorite things. Her wife and son were there to greet her, and Jennie's presence would probably manage to make any place feel safe and warm.
And soon there would be another spark to welcome her.
Jennie watched Lisa vanishing into the next room and then continued with her reading. But after a while Jennie realized that she had read the same paragraph over and over again because she was far more concentrated on Lisa switching on and off the lights behind her when entering or leaving the room. It took Lisa forever to find her belongings in the bedroom, and as usual the Thai was too loud in the bathroom.
That tetchy ticking of the clock started to drive Jennie crazy – again, anyway so she sighed contently that it wasn't so quiet anymore.
Jennie hummed lightly to help herself get back into the content of her book.
"You love me with your bone... You hold me when I'm broke... You don't ask for a thing... Oh~ I hope it's you put me in the ground."
Maybe it was because Jennie felt calmer when Lisa was with her but Jennie progressed in her reading and humming rather quickly.
"Oh, I know that we march to the beat of different drums... We're still so damn young..."
Jennie lost herself far too deep in it, only noticing that Lisa had finished washing up when her wife was entering her vision in the living room.
"In and out of believing in love... What the fuck's love?... All I know is love... When push comes to shove... I'll be the one a –"
Lisa looked down at her pregnant wife and Jennie was returning her gaze. Now that Lisa was standing so close in front of the brunette, Jennie could detect dark shadows under her wife's eyes freely.
"You look tired, should we go to bed?" Jennie enquired.
Lisa took away the book from Jennie's hands and laid it on the coffee table. Jennie understood that as a yes to her stated question and waited for Lisa to help her stand up from the sofa as Lisa knew how Jennie struggled with it now.
"Not yet, first I have to check on our baby girl~." Lisa sat down on the couch to rest her head on Jennie's lap, stretching her long legs while doing so. Several times, Lisa adjusted her body to find the most comfortable position. How did Jennie forget about Lisa's ritual of monitoring their soon-to-be-born?
Jennie could only laugh at her smiling wife shutting her dark-shaded eyes as she rubbed her stomach first with her cheek and then her hand.
Lisa's strokes were gentle and lovely and Jennie tried to be as tender when she ran her fingers through Lisa's blonde bangs.
Jennie sat back further into the softness of the sofa, proceeding to hum the notes of the song from earlier as Lisa relished it. The Thai's movements on her stomach lessened gradually as if her fingers in Lisa's hair and Jennie's voice in her ear made the blonde fall deeper into her dozing.
"...Round and round we go... So much I don't know... But even though this ain't pretty and simple like a bed of roses... 'least I know my hope is... That you stick around 'til the end... 'cause you're my best friend..."
They went on like this for an unknown amount of time. It felt like hours inside their own rainbow-filled of contentment but even eternity wasn't long enough to fully glory in their time.
"...Oh we're in a maze with no end... But I'm amazed to no end... Lili~, we don't ever have to pretend... Who knows what or who we choose... Right now I've nothing to lose... You love me, I love you..."
"What about Ella?" Lisa whispered against Jennie's stomach and made the brunette stop both the fondling of her fingers and the humming of her voice.
"Huh?"
Lisa slowly opened her eyes and Jennie could observe the gaze between them changing.
"I thought about how to name our daughter." Lisa looked up at her wife with the last word of her question and the sudden dark twinkle of Lisa's eyes dwelling on Jennie, which astonished her. "What do you think of Ella?"
Lisa was nervous about Jennie's impression and curious about what her wife's answer might be.
Of course they both had invested several weeks of pregnancy in search of the right name for their second born. Abruptly hearing a suggestion surprised Jennie so she took a while before actually thinking about the suggested name.
"Ella?" Jennie lifted her head and fixated on a point in the distance as she pondered, Lisa watching her wife from her place on her lap.
"Ella~..." Jennie smiled as she let that name repeat in her mind over and over again. It was more than just a similarity to the combination of their namesakes, "Jennie Ruby Jane" and "Lalisa". It was a tribute to their reconciled shared love, the beginning of a new chapter in their lives. It combined them all so well that Ella moved from her head to her heart.
"It's perfect~..." the brunette said, and the ever so tired eyes of Lisa lost some of their exhaustion.
"You think so?" Lisa asked, and her wife nodded, locking her glimpse with her again.
Lisa knew that Jennie was aware of the meaning behind that seemingly simple name, and that's why Lisa hadn't uttered them.
"I really like it." Hearing those words from Jennie relieved Lisa because the moment she came up with that name she wanted to give it to her soon-to-be-born daughter. It was a meaningful, important name and Jennie liked it.
"The little one likes it too~..." Jennie added, her gummy smile widening, infecting Lisa and leading her to smirk.
"How would you know that?"
"She is inside of me. Believe me, I know~." Jennie's hand began caressing the crown of her wife's hair again and the sensation made Lisa's body fuzzy.
Lisa chuckled and closed her eyes again, leaning her cheek against the place her daughter rested at.
"Let's name her that then." Lisa felt the need to conclusively enunciate it even when they both silently settled down for that name by now.
Tranquility recurred and the couple wondered if they would even be able to change their location from the living room to the bedroom tonight.
Lisa sighed, planning on standing up after a few more minutes of rest at a place that gave her absolute comfort.
"Good night, Ella." The name sounded familiar already as if it belonged in their midst.
"Good night, Ella."