Shawns POV•
"So, are you scared? I mean... what are you gonna do"? Jess asked me, a concerned look on her face after I had explained my situation to her.
Willow
The baby..
"I have no idea. I'm fucking terrified. I can't be a father... I don't.. I don't want to be" I spoke out loud, admitting it to myself. This isn't what I wanted, not now anyway, not this way and not this time. I wasn't ready, I wasn't ready for any of this.
"Well you don't exactly have a choice Shawn. You can walk away from Willow if that's what you really want but you can't walk away from the baby and you know that's the truth. You weren't raised that way." She arched her eye brow, getting ready to give me a life lesson like she always did when we were younger.
Jess was my cousin, moms sisters daughter. We were wicked close growing up, she's a couple years older but when her parents split in middle school, they moved to the U.S and have been there ever since. I needed to tell someone in my family what was going on and I knew I couldn't tell my parents.
"I won't. I'm just freaked the fuck out" I kept running my hands through my hair, wanting to pull it out at the same time. I never regretted falling in love with Willow but damn my life had done a complete 360 in what, a year? A little over a year? The person I was before her didn't have any worries in the world. And I missed that person.
Sometimes I wished I could just go back.
Sometimes.
"I can't tell you what to do Shawn but I can tell you, talk to her. Tell her what's going through your mind because guess what? I bet you she's feeling all of these things too. Do you really think this is what she wanted? At seventeen? Of course not! But she's doing her best to make light of it all I'm sure" She smiled, rubbing my shoulder as I squeezed my eyes shut to collect my thoughts.
Jess wasn't wrong, I knew Will was probably freaking out too but she was much better at keeping it together than I was.
"Also, clean out your truck. You have enough bottles in their to fill up two bags of trash." She pointed to my truck filled of alcohol. I had drunken some today but not enough to get me drunk.
"Thanks Jess" I pulled her in and gave her one more hug before she had to get back to her friends. She was in Canada visiting, her best friends baby shower was today, coincidentally.
"I really appreciate it" I squeezed her harder and she squeezed back.
"No prob little cuz. Stay outta trouble"! Jess walked off to her car beside my truck, I nodded and gave her a wave before hopping in my vehicle and speeding outta that dump whole.
I was going to talk to Willow, I knew I needed too.
But first, I wanted to drink.
.....
Willows POV•
Talking with Ben seemed to come so naturally, it was easy to make conversation with him and easy to just be around. He knew all the right questions to ask and answers to keep the conversation moving and he didn't ask anything personal that I would have a hard time answering.
"Wait, so you really jumped out of a plane???!?! Are you nuts"? We both laughed as I exclaimed my confusion and surprise to his story of skydiving with his friends last summer.
"Yes! But, it was really amazing" He looked up at the sky as he spoke, like he was remembering it all in that moment.
I smiled.
"You still with that Shawn guy"? Suddenly the mood changed as he asked me a personal question. I pursed my lips together, sighing.
"I am yes"
"That's too bad" He smirked at me and I just silently giggled back, a little uncomfortable.
I didn't want it to become this, weird flirting. I wouldn't cheat on Shawn, even though our relationship was messy and I wasn't sure of everything right now. I wouldn't cheat.
"You're really beautiful Willow" He stopped in his tracks, in the middle of the side walk almost to the sandwich shop. I walked a little ways a head, confused to why he had stopped, I turned around to face him.
"Oh, um, thank you" I replied and smiled but for some reason something in my gut felt suddenly very uncomfortable.
Bens whole vibe seemed to change, I didn't know what it was but I could feel this weird energy coming off from him.
He just stood there, starring me up and down like I was a delicious plate of food.
I had no idea what to say or do. It was like some sort of switch went off and he seemed like a creep.
"That guy doesn't know what he has..." He spoke, licking his lips and I just kept standing there like an idiot. Shocked.
"Ever since I met you Willow, I just... wow...."
"You're so beautiful"
I swallowed loudly. My hands tucked deep in my sweater pockets.
I searched the road behind him for any passing cars, but of course, it was dead silent.
Ben moved closer and closer to me, almost close enough to where I could feel his warm breath hitting my face.
I slowly backed up. I felt sick. Scared.
I had no idea what was happening but I did not feel safe.
"Ben.. um..." I set my hand on his chest to try and back him up but he quickly grabbed my wrists, pinning them back.
I let out a silent scream.
What the fuck was happening?
"Please, please let me go" I felt that same heart falling into my stomach, sickening feeling that I felt when my dad use to put his hands on me.
You can always hype yourself up in your head and tell yourself that you'll take on anyone who comes at you but when reality strikes, when it's actually happening and there's this grown man standing over you, pinning your arms back.
Helpless.
Is the only feeling you can feel.
"I want you Willow..." He lowered his face close to mine, very close, I pulled back but his hand slammed behind my head, gripping his fingers in my hair, pulling at it.
I could feel my eyes welling up with water. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs but this little voice in my head told me that would only make it worse.
The power he had in his grip utterly terrified me.
"Ben please let me go. Please"
My eyes wondered the road as I pleaded for him to let me go. No one. Not a soul in sight.
"Oh no sweetie. You're finally mine" His whispers sent shivers down my spine and not the good type of shivers.
In that exact moment all I could think about was Shawn, and Penny, and Ally and... my baby.
If something happened to me, I would be leaving all of my family behind.
I needed to get away from him.
"Okay... okay I'll be yours" I faked a smile, trying to stop my lips from quivering.
I felt his grip loosen as he starred into my eyes and I starred back into his but now all I saw was evil.
My body seemed to gain this sudden adrenaline, thinking about my family was this motivation to stay strong and stand up for myself best I could.
I wasn't only protecting myself anymore.
"I'll be yours" I faked it, knowing he would be surprised and love the fact that I was agreeing with him.
I had to cut out every scary thought and fight the only way I knew how.
"Lets go to my house. I have things for you" He smirked. Practically drooling like a dog.
I had to lie to him. I had to lie to save myself for whatever may come.
For a moment it felt like the world had stopped and I was in some horror movie. A night mare.
I wanted to flush out whatever was happening and pretend i was somewhere else. Somewhere with Shawn, safe.
I felt his hand tugging mine, he had the tightest grip. I walked alongside him but I had to come up with a plan.
I wasn't going to his house. I had a terrible feeling.
What are you gonna do Willow? Scream? He'll probably hit you.
Dial 911?
Where was my phone?
"I need to... I need to let Ally know I'm gonna be gone for a while so she doesn't wait for me" I tried my best to form some sort of believable lie, my heart was pounding so fast I thought I would pass out any second.
"I'll give you your phone once we get to my place" He demanded, keeping his eyes forward. A grin on his face the whole time.
He'll give me my phone?
I used my free hand and quietly searched my pockets, feeling nothing.
How the hell did he get my phone? And when?
Come on Willow.. come up with a plan..
I had to get away. I could try to make a run for it, Nicks house wasn't that far away. A couple blocks maybe and I'm sure I would see a car and I could get help. Or the closest house.
Do it.
Do it now Willow.
"Fuck" I heard Ben yell loudly as I used all the energy and fight I had to wrap myself free of his grips. I was going to fast and too focused on forward to feel that his finger nails had ripped into my skin.
I just ran.
I ran and ran and ran. My heart pounding. I was crying but I hadn't even realized it or when it had started.
Just run Willow, don't look back. Just run.
I zipped around the corner, trying to gain as much speed as I could.
I didn't want to know how close he was behind me. I heard his yells but turning around would only slow me down.
"Will what's wrong"?
I heard that voice. That voice I had longed for in my head.
My Shawn.
He was standing by his truck, outside of Nicks house, getting ready to go up the stairs.
I wasn't as close as I wanted to be but I just wanted to get to him.
"Willow"? He was running towards me now. Confused and concerned.
My body couldn't have hit his fast enough. And when it did I burst into tears.
I was, safe.