Last chapter!! I honestly feel so weird, I hope ya'll like it tbh.
Thank you so much for reading and Thankyou for putting up with my lame stories lol 😂 😂
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--
…where there was tremendous grief, there was spectacular love.
Hassan x Anaaya.
He walked inside the room, with a confused head. He knew for sure that he would never get out of this messy complicated situation if he did not make up with Anaaya.
He spotted her sitting on the bed with her back turned towards him. He closed the door and sat on the same side of the bed, her back was still turned on so he could not see her face.
She had not even realised that he had been sitting beside her, not until he touched her shoulder.
"Hey.." He whispered. "Can we talk?" He continued but she just shook her head and stood up, deciding that it was better to walk away then have another stupid argument.
"Anaaya, suno."
But she did not listen and was almost about to open the door, when he jolted her arm and pushed her towards him.
"Listen to me, stop being so cold-" As he pushed her towards him, her face came into his view and that's when he realised that she had been crying.
Her nose was red, eyes leaking out the tears and lips swollen.
What ever strong arguments he had in his head faded away the moment he saw her so vulnerable.
He immediately put his hands on her waist, making her look at him.
"Hey, hey..look at me. Don't cry."
One of his hand reached towards the back of her head and she leaned forward.
She inhaled his cologne, as she tried to stop crying and actually have a decent conversation.
Whatever stubbornness she had within her, faded away the moment she looked into his eyes, all she saw was conflict and pain.
She inhaled a deep breath and stared at him.
"I can't adjust here again, Hassan. It took me a long time to even adjust in London, then I had to come back here, go through the pain of almost losing you."
She put a hand on his chest and continued speaking.
"Newyork brought us happiness, both of us. We had our kids there, we have work and friends there."
"We have a life there." She spoke very softly, as if she was walking on eggshells.
Hassan sighed, understanding each and everything. But it didn't matter.
"I know, baby. And I'm willing to sacrifice it all, only for my mother's sake. I wasn't here for my father, what if something happened to her?"
"I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt. I can't abandon her."
He said with a shake of head, his tone was final. Anaaya clicked her tongue in annoyance.
"Convince her to come with us, then."
How could he ask his mother to leave all of her family just for his sake? So he could live comfortably with his family? He couldn't ask her to leave everything for him.
But you can expect your wife to do the same? How is that fair?
His subconscious reminded him. Whatever he chose, he would be hurting one of the two most important women in his life.
"Please, Anaaya. I need your support right now."
Hassan pleaded. He never pleaded. He never asked her to put away all that she had earned in her life for his sake. But he had no other choice.
Anaaya didn't know how to respond. She didn't want to say no to him. Saying no to him was like hurting him. She didn't want to do that.
"Hassan,-" She tried to say something.
"Are you really expecting me to leave my mother? Just like that?" He gestured with his hand.
She shook her head.
She wasn't one of those girls, she didn't want to be one of those girls who expect their husbands to leave their families. Just for their sake.
But sometimes life gave you tough choices.
"No. I'm asking you to make a decision that can balance it all. Taking her with us is okay, I won't mind it at all."
She said instead. Yes, her mother in law was a little hard on her at times, she wanted things to be done in a certain way that was different from Anaaya's. But she was a fairly kind woman. She wouldn't mind living with her at all.
Okay maybe a little but Hassan didn't need to know that.
"Infact, I'll welcome her with open arms. But staying here?" She made a face that made him quite sure Anaaya wouldn't budge at all.
"This is my home. And yours." He tried to say something that might change her mind.
"My real home is in Islamabad. I never felt like Lahore was my home, not ever. And home is where the heart is, right? My heart is in Newyork right now."
She explained.
She had never really told him this. Lahore was always so suffocating for her. She hadn't even lived a year in Lahore. She didn't like it.
Hassan loved it though. He loved the culture, the traditions, the food.
He didn't say anything as she heard her confession, so she kept talking.
"All my life, I've simply wanted to be successful in my career. I am, now. I can not sacrifice that."
She knew how passionate he, himself was about his career. If he was willing to sacrifice it for his family's sake, couldn't she do the same for his sake?
"This isn't right, you're being selfish."
The moment he let those words slip his mouth, he regretted them. His wife had never been selfish, not when it came to him atleast.
"Actually, I'm not." She replied confidently.
They both were conflicted, both trying to find the right words to say and failing.
"Look, I want to be understanding, and compassionate. You know me. But think about it, Hassan. It's not just you now, or me. It's our four children."
He sighed.
I don't want this too. I don't want to stay here but I have to do the right thing. I have to stay here for the woman who has made me who I am today. How can I leave her at a time that is so crucial?
"Look at how miserable Abaan is here. Pakistan is our home, it'll always be our home. But right now, it's not the place for us."
Anaaya kept talking and for some reason, for the first time, he had no words to say so far.
He had thoughts, jumbled up thoughts but he had no words to soothe her with.
"We have to go where our life is settled. Ask her to come with us." She insisted.
"My mother? She won't go with us, I know that."
Hassan responded in the same tone. He knew her, he knew she would think of the idea as insane.
"That's not my decision to make, Hassan. But I'm not going to stay here, if that makes you think I'm selfish, then so be it."
She had to be firm on this.
Giving up like that, just for the sake of something that you knew was hard, It wasn't right. Sacrificing all that you had worked so hard for was not right.
Life wasn't just love. It was also money, children, power, appreciation and so much more.
Anaaya would give up her life for Hassan, not her career.
It's not even for him, it's for his mother.
I'm sorry Uncle Shafqat, I feel terrible.
Her mind raced with her own thoughts. She hugged him, she had no idea what else to do.
"I know it's a hard time for you too, I know how difficult it is. I know how hard the past few months have been for you." She whispered.
"I'm not trying to be a stubborn wife, I just don't think it's right for six people to shift back here, just for one person."
Hassan pulled back.
"Help me, then. What should I do? My heart wants to go back but it also wants to stay. I want to be a better son, Anaaya."
He looked so torn himself.
She knew law was his life. Law here wasn't the same as law there. Setting up a law firm here would take years.
She knew he was only doing this to be a better son to his mother, to deal with the loss of his father.
But what did she know about being a good child?
"Hassan, I'm the only daughter of my parents. I haven't visited them in a year and a half. I only met them twice when they came to the funeral because I was too busy playing wife and daughter in law."
"I don't think I'm a good enough daughter to help you be a better son."
Hassan didn't know Anaaya felt so guilty. He felt guilty himself. He never once asked her to go visit her parents, he hardly even asked about them.
Her parents were equally important as his.
He heard as she talked more.
This was probably the first conversation where Anaaya had more logical words to say than him.
"I know how much my parents miss me but they're still happy, knowing that I'm happy."
She said again, words that gave away the hidden meaning.
"But the guilt of not giving back to your parents is always there." He stated, she nodded.
"It is." She affirmed.
"I never thought you felt like this before, you know, about your parents."
Hassan mumbled as he saw her wiping away a few stray tears, she often felt extremely bad for not visiting her parents more, for not taking care of them.
But she never said it out loud. Not like today.
"I think becoming a parent yourself makes you realise the true value of your parents."
And God, wasn't it true? Abaan being a few hours away at school even made her miss him. How could she not expect their parents to feel the same way?
"I'm so fucking confused." Hassan whispered, his voice too low and teeth gritted in frustration.
"I just want to close my eyes and block everything. I feel so fucking confused right now."
She knew he had just recovered out of a bad injury, his mind hadn't healed completely, neither had his body.
Was this much stress good for him? His father's death was stressful enough.
As if she wasn't already feeling bad as a daughter, she now felt bad as a wife too.
Why does it feel like I'm failing at everything?
She concluded that she was just tired. And she wanted him to rest too. She had been giving him, his medication on time but rest was also important.
She gulped down the bile in her throat and smiled at him.
"How about we take a nap? I know you couldn't sleep last night." She suggested.
"Neither could you." He retorted but had nothing more to say.
If sleeping could make him forget, he'd gladly sleep.
---
"Come on,"
She nodded as he dimmed the lights and they both laid down on the bed, pulling a comforter over them.
Their bodies entangled with each other, her hands were on his head, his hair, soft between her fingers and his eyes fell shut as she let him push his face into the space between her neck and shoulders.
She felt his hot breath on her neck as he took several deep breaths.
"I love you." He breathed into her neck as his own arms wrapped around waist in a tight hold.
"It's gonna be okay, I'll figure it out."
And this was truly what both of them really needed. When they were together, not arguing, they could solve any complication.
"I'm sorry that you have to figure a thing this complicated out." She said as she felt sweat form around the back of her neck since his hot breath was still fanning it.
"You're the best person I know, the most kind and the most understanding." She told him.
She, at first couldn't understand what he was saying..since his voice sounded muffled in her neck but as she focused more, she could understand.
"I'm sorry too. I can't expect you to just be okay with whatever decision I make without your consent."
He kissed her neck, head lifted slightly up.
"It's okay, it's always okay."
Her voice was quiter than he had expected.
He lifted his head up to look at her before putting his lips on hers in an innocent kiss.
He deepened the kiss slightly, hands now at both sides of her face.
She whimpered when he pulled away and followed to press another quick kiss to his closed mouth.
It wasn't lust filled or even love filled, it was a kiss that showed how much she meant to him, and she kissed him back because she couldn't even afford to lose him.
It was a kiss that signified a true relationship, its not always about love, its about grief too.
"The hardest thing I've ever had to face in my entire life is losing my father."
He told her after a while, raw pain coming out of his hard voice.
"I know, but I'm here. For you. With you."
"I want to support you and stay here if you want to stay, I truly do. I wish I could be okay with this decision but I'm not."
Her voice cracked but he soothed her with another kiss of his.
"Sshh, let's forget all that."
"Yeah."
She wanted him to take her home.
She longed it, all she wanted right now was getting back into the routine, they could lay on the couch in the early hours of the morning, drinking tea before getting ready for work, she longed to have his body pressed to hers.
She longed to do normal things with him, she longed to sleep a peaceful sleep at night by his side without any stress in the world.
They were still consumed in giving each other kisses when they got interrupted by a knock on the door.
She sighed, pulling away and he moved back.
"Whose there?" He yelled, still half laying on her.
"Hassan, it's me, jaan. Open the door."
He heard the warm voice of his mother and jolted out of the bed, Anaaya stood up too, aware of the fact that they were just about to kind of, almost have sex and her mother in law had barged in on them.
"Coming, mama." Hassan mumbled, opening the door wide after spotting his wife standing near the sofa.
"Can I come in?"
His mother asked as if she had to take permission.
"Ofcourse mama, you don't need to ask."
His mother saw his crumpled clothes and tired eyes, figuring out that he was napping at three.
"You guys were sleeping?" She asked the both of them.
"Kind of." Hassan answered for the both of them and Aunty Shagufta sighed, her face looked older than usual, more tired.
It was true. Grief aged people.
"I was also thinking of taking a nap, I can't sleep at night." She said, voice distant as if she was lost in a memory.
Anaaya came near her, holding her shoulder to comfort her.
"Your uncle used to be so specific before sleep. I look at the other side of the bed and there's no glass of water, no magazine, not his glasses and not his watch." Her voice shivered and Hassan knew she was close to crying as she talked with Anaaya.
"It feels like the whole room will swallow me whole."
She continued.
She understood how much it hurt her, she understood. Even the thought of losing Hassan and those three months of waiting and praying, those damn months had been like hell.
She couldn't even imagine the level of pain her mother in law as going through.
"But you know what's been making me feel better now?"
She looked at her daughter in law and then at her son, who looked too torn.
"I wake up at the time he would, I read the paper just like he would and I try to do the things that your father would do."
She tried to smile but the tears didn't leave her eyes.
"I try to do the right thing, no matter how difficult it is."
Hassan moved towards his mother as well, holding her shoulder as Anaaya moved away, picking up a glass of water and giving it to her mother in law.
"You're keeping him alive in this way, aunty."
She told her. She turned to cup her daughter in law's face, who simply stared back confused.
"If your father was here, he wouldn't have wanted you to upset Anaaya-"
She told Hassan, her hands still on his face.
"I'm not upset aunty-" She lied.
She felt upset but clearly not as upset as her. Her mother in law let out a watery chuckle.
"He would have caught your lie in a second." She retorted.
She finally left Anaaya's face and now cupped her son's face.
"He wouldn't have wanted you to lie to your mother about being contented when you're anything but that."
She said to her son, Aunty Shagufta then stared at the both of them, making the couple stand with each other.
"He wouldn't have asked you to stay here, unhappy." She whispered to the both of them.
The old woman's cheeks were flushed, eyes filled with tears.
Anaaya felt sorry for her, she didn't know how this woman was being so strong right now, speaking words of wisdom.
"Parents only want the happiness of their children. I want you to be happy, Hassan. Both of you."
Hassan smiled at her mother.
"Mama, I'm happy to be here. With you." He told her.
He couldn't imagine leaving her in a state like this, he wanted to go back but with her.
"You're not, I know you." He heard her say.
Mothers know their sons the best, mothers have a connection with their sons that they don't have with their daughters.
"I know Anaaya's not happy either." She murmured.
Anaaya was quiet for a while before she spoke.
"Aunty, I won't lie to you. But I also know that Hassan would never be satisfied there if he leaves you in pain."
She said the words that she thought were the most suitable.
"Mama, come with us." Hassan said softly, asking his mother to spare him the guilt.
His mother let out a smile, a smile that didn't reach her eyes but a smile nonetheless.
"And what will I do there? I'll be all alone in the house." She answered, shaking her head.
"The kids will be there and we can go out at nights, we can show you the city-" Hassan tried to show her what he had to offer, desperately.
But his mother wasn't a woman who would leave everything just for someone she deemed important. How could she expect her son to do the same?
"Hassan, this house has memories of your dead father. I can't leave this place."
"And I can't leave you." Hassan replied.
Anaaya stayed silent. Speaking in between their conversation seemed like intruding. She only spoke when she was spoken to.
Aunty Shagufta sighed out loud and sat on the sofa for a while, quiet, then she stood up again.
"I'm asking you to. Hiba is married and settled in her life, Feriha and her family are moving in the house next to ours, Rania is still here, we'll find a husband for her in a year or two, Azlaan is here, Surraiya has decided to stay here instead of going to Gujrat."
She kept on talking.
"Your grandparents are moving back in. Your dada is sick and your dadi is persistent that they should shift back here instead of living with Amjad bhai."
Hassan's grandparents lived with his uncle, Uncle Shafqat's older brother in Karachi.
After losing their son, they had decided to stay in Lahore now. Hassan's grandfather was sick, he wasn't able to travel to Uncle Shafqat's funeral too, it was his grandmother who had made the decision to stay here, in Lahore, once and for all.
"Amjad uncle didn't bother coming to his dead brother's funeral. If he takes a step inside this house now, I will kill him."
Hassan grumbled, still mad at his father's only brother choosing to keep a years old grudge.
His mother pressed her hand on his shoulder.
"You're my least violent child, don't let anger consume your heart. Your mind is enough to take anyone down."
She advised, Anaaya looked at Hassan's sudden anger and then whispered to him.
"Aunty's right, Hassan."
Hassan, however stared at his mother again.
"I don't want to go without you." He admitted.
"I won't be alone here." His mother promised.
"I know you, mama. I know you don't want me to go." He argued.
"I don't, but I also do. I can't bear to look at my grandson's sad eyes anymore, neither can I see you two fighting."
Anaaya held her mother in law's hand.
"Aunty, come with us. Really, we can get a bigger house there, we can shop and go places, it'll be great." She tried to sound cheerful but she couldn't.
Aunty Shagufta still passed her a smile.
"I will, some day. But not right now."
"I can't go, mama. I don't care about anything, I can't afford to lose you."
Anaaya wanted to tell Hassan to give up. To stop arguing. But he might take it in the wrong way, so she let it be.
"You can go. All you need to do is promise me one thing."
"Yeah?"
"Promise me that you'll visit every year, you'll call me twice a day and you'll share every problem you have."
She made him promise and this time Hassan's eyes filled with tears too, both son and mother crying.
"And stay happy, okay? Stay as happy as you can be." Hassan simply engulfed her into a hug.
Not a hug where he wanted to comfort her, but a hug where he wanted comfort.
"I'm sorry, mama. I couldn't be a good son to you."
Anaaya knew he was crying, she knew he was missing his father, cursing all the bad things that had happened, breaking down in front of his mother.
His tears made her cry too.
"You have been my most favourite child, don't tell it to the others."
She said, jokingly.
"You are my jaan, we both love you."
Aunty Shagufta pulled away from the hug and talked to his son with all the love she had in her heart.
"Your father and I have always been proud of you, Hassan. Don't ever feel like you weren't a good son."
She finally pulled away from the hug and embraced her daughter in law now.
That was enough for Anaaya to sob out loud. Her guilt shaking her from inside.
"I'm sorry, aunty. I'm so sorry." She apologised over and over again.
"I am not trying to take your son away from you, I know you need him right now, I'm so conflicted myself."
She cried, her mother in law rubbed soothing circles all over her back.
"I don't want to hurt you, I don't want Uncle Shafqat to be angry at me, I don't want all of this, I'm really sorry, Aunty."
She said her apologies out loud but Aunty Shagufta shook her head, telling her to stop it.
"The only thing you should feel sorry about is still calling me aunty." She reminded her.
Not in all these years, had Anaaya heard her say something like this. She felt speechless.
Hassan, however gave her a dazzling smile.
He had never been more thankful to God, he had never felt so grateful in his entire life.
He had been so stressed about everything, worried about what might happen, who to choose.
"Aunty, I-" Anaaya tried to say something but her mother in law shook her head, clicking her tongue.
"No, Call me mama."
"I already have a mama." Anaaya argued, pouting.
But she knew that after today's sacrifice by her mother in law, just for the sake of their happiness, she had actually transformed into a mother for Anaaya.
"How about mummy?" Anaaya cracked a smile, suggesting mummy instead of mama.
She could have two mothers, there was nothing more special than a mother's love, right?
Who was she to deny that?
"Okay..okay."
"I'm sorry, mummy." Anaaya hugged her again, her mother in law simply hugged back, she later on pulled in Hassan too.
Her left hand holding Hassan and her right hand holding Anaaya.
"Sshh, it's alright. We're all fine."
Anaaya might have lost a father figure like Uncle Shafqat but she was so glad that she had gained a mother.
And Hassan?
He might have lost alot but he was happy that he hadn't lost the two most important women in his life.
So his heart now beat at a normal place, and all was right in his world.
__
Epilogue and Anaaya's Instagram and then we're done.
I'm gonna finish this by Sunday :)))
Hope you enjoyed.
Make sure to tell me what you though of the chap!!
Bubyeee!!