One Day
When The Sun Shone
& The Wind Blew
-•-•-
How glorious a day it was that day
When the winds blew across her skin
And the sunlit her pathway
Growing roses in her trail
It's sunny today. I'm not complaining. It's sunny, but even right now when the sun is at its peak, it is quite cool. That's bearable. I can live with that. As if my inner thoughts are heard by God, who must be in a very good mood today, another cool breeze rushes past my skin and I can't help but smile.
"It's a very good day today, right Isaac?" I look down at the child who has my handheld in his. His pouty face tilts up towards me and my smile turns into a grin.
"I'm still sleepy," Isaac grumbles but continues to walk with me, his small body rubbing against my legs more and more as we continue to make our way towards the bakery. A restaurant is next.
"Want me to carry you?" I ask the child. Behind me, I feel as Olly moves a little closer — maybe to grab all the paper bags and plastics I am carrying.
Still looking at me, Isaac's pout increases and the child slowly gives me a wonderful display of how an exaggerated sad nod.
I turn towards Olly with a grateful grin when he leans down and takes the bags from me without a word. "Thanks," I mouth at the man before turning back to my boy.
"Come," I lean down, extending my arms around his form and picking him up until I have his head tucked comfortably under my chin while his arms wrap around my neck with a familiarity that always warms with my heart. I smile.
This boy in my arms right now, I did not know him a few months ago, I'll admit. But right now, as I stand here with him in my arms — he is someone I love the most. And even if he isn't, he is. He is my son. And he always will be.
"Do you want to eat something?" I ask as we enter the bakery, smiling when the person at the counter turns to me at our entrance.
"That!" Isaac instantly points at the display of cookies in a jar and I glance at the attendant with a soft smile when she reaches towards the jar, "Do I pack these, ma'am?"
"Does it have peanut in them? My son is allergic to peanuts."
"Ah! I'm sorry ma'am, I think they do," The woman's smile turns apologetic, and I chuckle waving my hands before me dismissively, "It's alright. What about those ones?" I point towards the chocolate cookies that seem to have chocolate chips in them as well.
"No, they don't," The attendant grins back, looking relieved.
I turn towards Isaac instead, "The cookies you chose have peanut in them, sweetie. Do you want those chocolate cookies instead?" I ask, pointing towards the jar in question, "Or do you want something else now?" I add when I notice him looking towards a display of jam-rolls.
"Mummy, what are those?" Isaac whispers into my ears, his grip on my tighter.
"Those are called jam-rolls, Little Peanut," I whisper back, pecking his cheek afterward out of habit.
"Are they yummy?"
"Very but you can't have a lot at one time, okay?"
He answers with an enthusiastic nod.
"Can I have a jam-roll, a dozen of those chocolate cookies, a white bread, sliced, and three of those tarts, please?" I make a move towards the past of counter where there is a cash register and reach into my handbag for my wallet.
"Thank you for coming! Have a nice day!" The cheerful girl calls out when we're making our way out of the small bakery. I glance at Isaac as my grip on him tightens, and then at the brown-paper-bag containing his jam-roll. He insists on holding it, and it's funny how it's dangling right now from his hands. Still, I can't find it in my heart to ask him to give the bag to Olly.
"You okay?" I ask the tall, masculine man walking behind us carrying our bags in one hand and eating one of the chocolate cookies from another.
"These are really good," he takes another large bite and the cookie disappears. I chuckle when he takes out another one immediately.
"Oh, we're here!" He nudges his head to his left and I turn just in time to turn towards the restaurant entrance.
"This is Saara's favourite restaurant," I mumble, my voice lowers as we enter the Indian restaurant.
"Mummy, bilani!" Isaac whispers into my ear again and I find myself grinning.
I've noticed something about him over the past few days. When he wants something, he whispers his request. Always. At first, I had a feeling it's because he doesn't want others to know if he's told no, but now I think he thinks it makes him cute and that means I'll give in. I do.
"Sure, sure. I'll just go order everything now. You sit here okay?" I look into his eyes as we reach an empty table and I lower him onto a chair. I notice when his eyes sadden but he nods and turns towards Olly when the man settles himself beside Isaac.
Standing at the counter and looking down at the menu, my mind tries to equate everyone in. My mind flutters to William, who must be at the hospital right now, and then to Saara who is also be at the hospital. It has been four days since her accident today. Right now, August is keeping her company. That makes it three. And then there is Kris as well. Four. Olly, Isaac, and I will make six.
"Feeding a large crowd today, Gemma?" Mrs. Sharma smiles at me with the same motherly expression she's worn ever since Saara and I became a regular here, years ago.
I can't help but chuckle, giving her a pitiful smile, "Six hungry stomachs to fill today, aunty,"
Hearing my reply, Mr. Sharma who is just coming out of the kitchen, let's out a loud laugh, "Don't worry, Beta, We've got your back!"
"Thank you, Uncle," I smile at both Mr. and Mrs. Sharma gratefully and then begin placing my order.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
The hospital seems media free as well make our way through the entrance and into the hospital grounds.
I suppose Saara's PR team managed the press well. They stated the incident as an accident, excluding any involvement of the CEO or his ex-girlfriend from the narrative. Since Saara was due to go on tour starting next week, her tour dates were also postponed. Thankfully her fans have always been nothing but supportive and so Saara doesn't have anything to worry about. That is, except Khala. And that, even I have to worry about.
Khala finally saw the news yesterday. I got a very dangerous call right after. She's going to be here by today afternoon cause she couldn't get an early morning flight. I think my parents are going to be here soon too — I know for sure they can't be here with Khala because of work. But definitely over the weekend. I'm a hundred percent sure I'm getting a beating. For Saara's matter, and for my matter too.
"Those people are staring," Isaac grumbles, and I try to smile at my son. It comes with difficulty. How do I smile at him when I'm feeling awkward under all the other awestruck or hard eyes on us?
"Pa!" Isaac whisper-shouts when he spots his father, who is standing talking to a group of very important looking men at a distance. The group seems to be a blend of suited men and doctors in white coats. The doctors seem to be showing the men in black suits out. Maybe they are the shareholders?
As if feeling eyes on him, William's head snaps in our direction and he tilts his head when he looks at Isaac and then at me. I can't help but smile at him, while Isaac sends him a wave before we turn towards the elevators.
"Wait, Gemma. He's coming here," Olly mumbles under his breath as he reaches forward and grasps my hand in order to stop me.
Turning back in William's direction, I am caught off guard when I see William and Kris making their way towards us. The attention of the group of happy men is now shared on us as well.
"Gemma!" Kris reaches us first, wrapping his arm around my shoulders casually like he always does, "Oh I smell food! Good timing, we're starving!"
"Don't worry, I've got you covered," I look up at Kris, grinning back at the happy man.
"Hey," I feel William before I hear him. His hand slipping around mine makes me smile. Then we're walking towards the Elevators again.
"Where have you all been since the morning?" William asks as we stand inside the moving elevator, his voice is quiet but I glance up at him when I notice the edge in them. He sounds upset.
"We went out and about," I answer briefly. Looking down at a bright-eyed Isaac, I quickly place an impulsive peck on his forehead. Immediately the child beams under my affection and leans his head against my chest.
"Welcome back! I was just beginning to get so bored!" If Saara didn't have a few fractured bones, I'm pretty sure she would be jumping on her bed right now with the amount of excitement she's buzzing with.
"We have food!" Olly grins at the excited looking girl when her eyes land on the takeaway bags.
"I knew you had my back, Olly! I wish I could steal you from William," Saara grins at the man who winks at his partner in crime.
"Where's August?" I ask, ignoring the two troublemakers when I notice the absence of the tall manager in the room.
"Oh, he had to go to meet the PR and legal team. Apparently, TMZ got a bit too close to the actual truth. Khristian's ex got taken in. He's too angry to function."
Her attention then turns to Isaac and she immediately begins beaming again, "Isaac! My one and only favourite nephew! What do you have there in your hand?"
"Mummy got me jam-rolls! But I can only eat a little at a time," Isaac answers back excitedly and when I feel him leaning towards Saara, I begin walking towards my cousin's bed and slowly place him down beside her.
"That's good! Did you get aunty Saara some Bilani?"
I don't hear what Isaac answers her when my attention is stolen by a hand grasping my wrist. My head snaps up and I tilt my head in a silent question when my eyes meet the dark orbs of William.
"Can we talk?" He asks, his voice low but still somehow everyone hears.
"Let's go open all these!" Kris instantly says to Olly, who agrees readily. Moving towards the small dining table in the corner, beside the fridge. I know they are trying to pretend like they didn't hear William. It's nice that they want to give us our space.
"Sure," I agree, glancing in Isaac's direction to see him distracted before turning back towards William. I slowly follow him when he leads us towards the bathroom. He opens the door and I follow him into the bathroom. Then he closes the door behind us.
For a while, a long while, there is only silence in the bathroom.
"I was worried," His hand slips from my wrist. I turn towards him as he leans his back against the door.
"Why?" I ask, putting my arms behind me and tilting my head up to look him in the eye.
"Irrationally,"
Somehow I don't buy that. A sigh slips from my lips and I take a step away from William. I realise he stiffens at my action, "What's wrong?"
"You and Isaac have slept at your place since Wednesday. I don't even know where you two are or what you're doing most of the time. Like today. You..."
"Didn't even text," I finish for him.
"Yes," he nods, finally lifting his head up and meeting my gaze. I almost gasp. The unreadable black orbs that I had always been so weary off, that always felt were staring straight into my soul — those orbs are back. They are back, and black, and deadly. William's not just upset. He's angry too.
"You're angry," I observe, fascinated by his anger being directed at me.
"And you're amused," he retorts dryly.
"A little bit," I admit guiltily. I'm an idiot, I know I shouldn't be amused but I'm a little thrilled. I'm probably going crazy. Shaking my head trying to be rid of my thoughts, I take two steps closer to him until my feet are standing between his and I have my arm wrapped around his waist.
"What can I do?" I mumble into his white coat, taking in the scent of medicine and his spicy cologne.
"I want you to not leave me behind. I want you to let me be responsible for you too," William sighs, releasing a long frustrated breath of air, "Oliver knows more than I do, Gemma."
The guilt builds in my chest and I feel myself tightening my hold on William even though his hands are still limp by his sides.
He's right. There have been many times when I've opted not to tell him things. Many times when I've dealt with it myself.
I do that because William's a surgeon and he's always so tired from work. Just the thought of adding onto the list of things that caused him stress makes me feel the worst sort of curdling in my chest. I want to be the home he comes back to feel peaceful in, not think about more problems to solve.
"I just... don't want to worry you. I know your profession is stressful. I don't want to add onto that," I admit, tilting my head up until my chin is leaning against his chest and I'm looking up at him.
"I want to know," William answers instantly. His hands clasps around my shoulders and I feel him push me slightly back. I almost begin to feel a tickling of rejection when he suddenly bends forward until his face is in level with mine, "Everything about you and Isaac, I want to know."
"You'll get upset at some point," I whisper, a little out of breath with the intensity I see in William's eyes.
"I will be," William agrees.
"You'll complain you're always stressed at work and you can't even relax at home," I whisper when he leans closer and frames my cheeks with his palms, brushing my cheeks with the pads of his thumb.
"Somedays I might," he admits.
I sigh, "See." Starting to feel upset myself.
"But I'll apologise every time,"
I can't help but look away, "It'll still hurt me when you ask me to tell you everything and then get upset at me for doing so. Whether you apologise or not."
This time William sighs and straightens back up again, running his fingers through his hair. I step back and William stiffens at my action again. Again we have a good amount of distance between us. He doesn't say anything, and neither do I. In this silence, I drop my head and stare at the amount of space we have between each other right now.
I can't help but recall the train of thoughts I used to have over the years while being single. The dozens of thoughts and opinions I had only months ago about life and sharing it with another person. Wasn't this one of the points I brought out when I made mental lists about why it's better to be single? That dating is too tiresome? Too complicated?
"To be honest I'm quite surprised by what you're angry about," I chuckle stupidly, catching William's complete attention again when he lifts his face up from his hand and looks at me. Suddenly I don't know if I like it better this way with his angry attention on me or when we were both silent.
"What did you think I was angry about?" He asks me with a straight face, his narrowed eyes make me do a second take before answering. Still, I do.
"Kris," I reply simply.
William scoffs, and whirls around suddenly, running his fingers through his hair again. Looking away from me, he scoffs again. "Unbelievable," I hear him mutter under his breath, shaking his head in frustration, another raking of his hair away from his forehead.
Seeing William slowly unwind and show how agitated and upset he really is, leaves me a little stunned. So I bite my bottom lip and silently shuffle on my spot, glancing around the bathroom like I've never seen it before. I should calm down. I really should. Of course, I am not perfect, and neither is William. We have both been brought up with different lifestyles, in different parts of the world where cultures are completely different and people are formed differently through nature and nurture. I'm not by myself anymore.
I suppose that is what is scary, that I am not single anymore. I had been single — a few days ago I had been single for seven years. Seven years is such a long time, some marriages don't even last seven years and I was happy by myself for seven years straight. For seven years I did whatever I wanted to without being accountable to anyone but my parents. Having a boyfriend is different though. Being accountable to William is different than being accountable to my parents. Very different.
For a second I wish William and I could be as simple as Isaac and I. I've never had a child before but still, with Isaac, it comes so naturally. Is this what Nani means whenever she says that most women are born mothers? I wonder if it will be too presumptuous to think that she's right? Wasn't it the mother in me that had fallen for Isaac since the very first day? Even though at first I kept myself in check, I reminded myself that I was not his real mother, but at this point, I think it's safe to say, I'll do everything I can for Isaac. Even if I have not given birth to him. Even though his real mother is Shirley. I am his mother, and he is my son.
I just wish it was just as easy with William. It isn't though. William is an intelligent grown man who won't bow down under my authority most of the time with his heart filled with innocent devotion like Isaac does. With William, I will have to give just as much as I will take. I will have to understand him just as much as I will expect him to understand me.
A good, lasting relationship does have arguments and fights. But it also has a lot of other things I've come to forget being single and independent for so long. Understanding, persistence, loyalty, adjustability, communication, and compromise.
Had I been younger, I might have added love there too. But now I know better. To love — anyone can do it. Anyone can fall in love. But to uphold it, not just anyone can do that.
I try to think about the list Mary had given me about William. Only one point stands out to me out of everything I can remember. William is a difficult man — and right now, I can attest to that. In front of me, William runs his fingers through his hair again and I find myself following his movement with my eyes. As if feeling my eyes on him, he turns and our eyes meet. Instantly I look away, unable to hold his smouldering gaze. Again, he runs his fingers across his hair and turns away.
"Can I go out now?" I goad him, knowing completely well that this will irritate him even more, and it does. He snaps back to look at me with the most blazing eyes I have ever seen to date.
"I've been trying my best to be at my best behaviour and behave in a way that would make you feel comfortable. But you're pushing it, Gem."
"My grandma always says it's good when men show you their bad sides well before getting engaged or married, and not act like a saint only to show their real self afterward," I shrug, but realise the weight of the words just as if leaves my mouth. Of course, it's best that I'm seeing William's darker side now rather than later. This way I won't delude myself into imagining him to be some sort of perfect guy. He isn't. He's only human. This way, I'll learn how to accept and deal with him when he's being like this. Just like he will learn to deal with my less than side too. If he wants to.
At my reply, William shakes his head frustratedly and points towards the door, "Feel free."
For a minute I wonder how I'd theorized arguments to be between mature couples all these years while I'd been single. In my theories, it always came down to calm headed discussions where both parties listened to each other completely and did not lose their temper like we were doing only a few minutes ago right in this bathroom. It comes like a bucket of cold water to my head, then, when I realize that regardless of age, people can still be immature. Thirty-year-old couples can still pout and shout and act irrationally just like 17-year-old couples. And that's fine. Like us, right now we stand here, a 24-year-old girl and an almost 30-year-old guy, in a hospital bathroom, childishly turning a discussion into a childish fight. And I'm the instigator. I'm an idiot.
Still, my eyes lift and find the door. Stubbornly, I begin walking towards it.
"I just want to know okay?" William blurts out when I'm almost at the door. He sounds extremely upset, almost exhausted — I can't help but turn around until I'm facing him. Still, neither I nor he makes a move to remove the distance between us. This time, no one reaches for the other.
"Call me paranoid! Call me crazy! I just want to know! The idea of not knowing what's happening in your life — in our life — stresses me out even more than I would be if you told me!" He continues, messing his hair with his fingers again before it magically falls back into place when he's done.
I can see it now, he's completely showing how irritated and upset he is right now. He's so upset he's almost shaking. I can't help but just stare at the man before me silently, "Just five-word texts updating me about something you think is important, give-word texts telling me what's happening or if there is something wrong! Five-word texts telling me how you decided to deal with it! I'm not saying I constantly want you on the phone talking to me, I may not even read the texts when you send it but at least they will be there! At least you'll think about me when you make decisions in your life! At least I'll be there!" He takes a deep sigh and I wonder if everyone outside can hear him borderline yelling at me in frustration.
"Look, I can't force you. I know. But I can hope that you try. Okay?"
For a minute or two I just stand there, looking at William in the eye until he heaves out an irritated breath and turns away.
Then I'm striding forward. It takes me only seconds before I'm grasping his right arm and turning him around until he's facing me until he's towering over my small frame. William looks down at me, a little surprised.
"You know you're shaking, right?" I whisper, reaching forward and grasping his arm. A loud yelp escapes my lips when suddenly William rips his arms away from my hand and suddenly has me pressed against him, his nose buried in my neck while he stands towering over me.
"I hate it when other people know more than I do about you, Gem. I hate it," William mumbles, and I feel my legs give away from the shock of his words and the huskiness in his voice. Where did this come from? I was not expecting this! Sometimes William's straightforwardness really catches me off guard — like right now.
He continues, "Even though I've received international schooling since high school, my thoughts and values are still very Asian. This," He knows exactly what he's doing to me when he brushes his lips against my jaw and I shiver, suddenly clutching to his coat, "Us. It's not a joke. I'm not testing waters. Everything I said in your kitchen that day three months ago, I was serious about. I was serious about everything I asked and said. I'm still serious. Very serious."
There is a storm in my mind right now, an earthquake in my chest. I'm feeling everything right now. A jumble of emotions as I'm standing here and looking at the man in front of me. The warm shaking in my heart asks me if this is what love is? The twirling in my head asks me how I know he will continue to stay serious in the future? I want to kiss him. I want to cry. I want to run away and live by myself like I had for seven years. I want to live with William forever.
Again I find myself asking the question, Is this what love feels like? This surrender? This warm fluttering that overrides my fear? Is this what love is? Seeing how difficult and irrational even a quiet, sorted man like William can get, and still wanting to be here with him? Choosing him over the independence I have felt being single for so long, is this love? Putting myself in his hands despite knowing that the futures uncertain, is this love?
Slowly my attention slips away from my thoughts and I find my eyes fluttering as I come back to William again. Witnessing my obvious state of confusion and indecisiveness, a soft smile has settled on William's lips and I watch with wide fascinated eyes as he pushes the length of my hair back, "Okay?"
I know what he means. He wants to know if I understand him, understand his heart.
"Okay," I do.
The smile that graces William's face blows me away. I'm standing here, dazzled, smiling at him just because he's smiling at me like this. The prettiest smile I've ever seen on a guy. It changes his face entirely, he looks younger and more carefree. Suddenly I see just who Issac has taken after. My smile brightens.
"Can I drop by today? I'll be home by eight?"
Home... as in my tiny humble house. William just called it home. I want to kiss this man.
"Okay, Isaac and I will wait for you," I nod, giving in to him, "I'm sure we have your clothes too."
At this William turns a little red, and I can't help but reach up and place a kiss on his chin, "Thanks for not being able to stay away when it's my turn to stay at my place I guess."
"Funny," William grumbles.
"Wanna go outside now?" I chuckle, letting William squeeze me against him and press a kiss on my hair. Honestly, I don't mind being here in his arms. But I'm definitely sure that everyone outside is getting worried by now.
"Yeah," William nods and I reach up and fix his hair back to how it was before he assaulted it with his hands over and over again. Again he leans forward and presses a kiss on my forehead.
"Thank you," William smiles.
"You're welcome," I beam at William, wrapped my arm around him and giving him a squeeze.
"For running after me that night. For taking a chance when I was too indecisive too,"
My gaze snaps to William and I blink, finding my smile brightening just as my chest flutters with warmth for the man in front of me. Yes, I suppose this is love.
"It is so easy to fall in love, you know?" I say, my voice breezy and casual as I grasp his hand and begin walking towards the door.
William remains silent, I guess waiting for me to continue, and I do once we reach the door and I have the cold knob held firmly by my hand.
I turn back and smile at a curious looking William.
"With someone like you,"
Then I pull the door open and walk out.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Isaac's already asleep by the time we drive into the driveway of my home and pull over.
"He needs to have a bath and eat something," I mumble, looking at the child sleeping in my arms.
"I'll wake him up," Olly offers before he gets out of the driver's seat and opening the door to the side I'm sitting on, takes Isaac from my arms.
"Hey buddy," he immediately begins rousing Isaac from his sleep. Somehow, like it always does whenever Oliver tries to wake him up, Isaac is up and staring at me with his big still sleep filled eyes.
"Mumma?" He blinks as I grab everything and get out of the car, my hands full of our bags.
"Look baby! we're home. We just need to get you bathed and fed and then you can go back to sleep," I smile as I try to fish out the keys for the house.
Isaac surprises me when he breaks out into a sob, my head snaps up to spot a shocked looking Olly staring at a completely red-faced boy now crying in his arms.
Immediately I rush and place all the bags on the small front porch before taking Isaac from Olly's arms. Handing Olly the keys.
"What happened? What's wrong?" I bounce Isaac in my arms as I caress his hair, trying to soothe him.
"I had a bad dream," Issac sobs, hiccuping through his words as he tightens his arms around me.
"What did you see?" I ask, frowning as I remember him telling me about seeing nightmares on a number of occasions since I've met him.
"I can't tell," Isaac whispers, giving me the same answer he's given me all the other times before. At this point, I'm very concerned.
"Please tell me, Isaac. I won't tell anyone, I'll fix everything. I won't let it hurt you, I promise. What do you see?"
"I'm sorry mummy," Issac sobs harder, clutching to me at this point, "I can't tell."
I go into panic mode, seeing Olly pushing the door open I rush inside with Isaac, "Okay! Okay! I'm sorry! Don't tell me anything. Let's go get you bathed and then we can have dinner and watch a cartoon, okay?"
It takes a while but finally Isaac nods, still a hiccuping mess. I hold the boy closer to me as I slowly make my way towards the bathroom.
Just what does he see that leaves him so upset?
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
By the time William comes home, Isaac and I are settled on the sofa, I sprawled across the largest sofa and Isaac stretched above me, bathed, fed and asleep.
At the sound of the doorbell, I find myself letting out a tired huff when I try to stand up with Isaac in my arms. Somehow I don't feel like leaving him alone now that he's asleep. It's irrational but I don't want him to be alone in case he sees that weird dream again. Maybe holding him will assure him someone's there for him, even while he's asleep. I can just hope.
"Hey," I smile at William as I pull the door open with one hand, holding Issac with another.
"Why are you carrying him around?"
The first response that comes to my mind is "Oh it's nothing, don't worry." But thankfully I shut up before I say that. Instead, I say, "He's been having nightmares. I'm scared to leave him alone."
It takes William by surprise, I can tell. Which part though, Isaac having nightmares or me being scared to leave him alone because of that — that I don't know.
"Does he tell you what they are about?" He asks, closing the door before turning to Isaac and I. Leaning forward he brushes the mop of Isaac's hair away from his forehead and places a kiss on the center. Then places one on mine.
"He refuses to tell me anything. Maybe you can try sometime? Maybe he'll tell you?" I ask, and William nods.
"He must be heavy. Let me put him to bed," William offers after putting away his bag. Turning back to me he pulls up the sleeves of his white shirt and extends his hands towards me. Even though I don't want to, I let him take Isaac. Then slowly follow after him when he begins walking toward the second room where we stay whenever Isaac is over. I let Saara have the main bedroom since she's used to it anyway.
I watch as William lays Issac onto the bed and tucks him in. Placing a kiss on his forehead again. It's nice to see him show Issac so much affection, I've noticed he's grown into it over the past few months. Issac flourishes under his affections. It makes me very happy too.
"I'll just take a shower," William smiles at me and I point towards the towel and his pair of clothes.
"Thanks," he grins, and I notice the red tinge on his cheeks again.
"I'll take out a plate for you," I inform him as he walks out of the room, "Thanks!" he throws me a thumbs up before closing walking out.
For a second I look down at a sleeping Isaac and sigh, not wanting to leave him alone. After a few moments of hesitation, I lean down and brush his hair away from his eyes, then straighten up and walk out of the room, making sure to dim the lights but leave them on.
Walking into the living room, the silence slowly fades away to the low hum of the TV playing Spongebob. A content breath leaves my lips and I slowly trail my way towards the couch. Picking up the remote I change the channel to a different one and placing it down on the coffee table, turn around and begin tidying up the cushions.
When I'm done, I make my way to the kitchen and begin heating dinner. The night's chilly, and the cold breeze brings in the scent of frangipanis from the tree just outside the kitchen. I smile as the breeze leaves tiny goosebumps along my exposed skin that's not covered by my thin-strapped tank top and long baggy pajamas.
For a second I freeze when I suddenly feel a warm, strong pair of hands grasps my shoulder from behind me, but then William chuckles and drops his lips onto my shoulder and I find myself relaxing in his arms.
"You're warm," He states, turning me around and away from the microwave.
"You're warm too, "I smile up at him as I cup his face between my palms, "And very cute," I add teasingly, giving in to temptation and pinching his right cheek on the whim.
At my display of affection, His nose crinkles and his mouth twitches with the shadows of a laughter as he tries to pull his cheeks away from my pinching hands. He can't stop the blush that graces his cheeks though, I can't help but grin when I see that.
"Go sit down and relax. You need to rest. I'll serve myself,"
I don't like that, he looks tired too.
"I can— "
"Go," William cuts me off, leaning forward until his eyes are in level with mine. Is it awful that I want to hold him and kiss him every chance that I get? Not even the lip kiss, just kiss — a peck on the cheek, a brushing of lips just so he knows how much I adore him. I smile. Yes, I adore this man. This difficult, difficult man.
"Yes sir," I find my way to the high chair at the kitchen island and settle down on it.
"You know I think the rest of my life will be adventurous,"
I look up, confused when William speaks up all of a sudden. I find him looking at me with a soft smile.
He continues, "With someone like you."
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
What time is it? I don't even know. All I know is that William got called in for an emergency half an hour ago and I can't sleep now. It's not like this hasn't happened before — he's had to leave because of emergencies a lot of times before.
Tonight though, I just can't sleep. So instead I lie on the bed, browsing the internet while Isaac sleeps soundly beside me. For a second I wonder what time William will return, and if he will even return tonight. Usually, he just ends up spending the night at the hospital.
I'm browsing through some random site when a notification pops up and catches my eye. Immediately I tap on the message notification.
Pressing on send, I let out a sigh and instead of going back to the browser, I tap on my iBooks and open up a new historical romance novel I've been planning on reading for a while now. I'm trying to keep the thoughts of getting a potential beating away from my mind. Khala can be a very dangerous woman when she's mad. Maybe I should have just told her. Then the stupid CEO would have been the one to get beat up instead.
What do I even say to her? I think about it for a moment. Then decide to just tell her the truth.
A ping.
I let out a sigh.
And another ping.
I can't help but laugh when I see Mickey's GIF. I think about it for a moment, then lay it on her. She's the only true person I can tell all this to anyway.
Truthfully, I want to answer that. But she's sick, and I don't want Khala to get even more upset at me than she is.
I hesitate, biting my lips. Then I begin typing, typing things I've not even had the courage to contemplate in the privacy of my thoughts.
Her reply comes within minutes.
I sigh. The overwhelmed feeling I was getting in that bathroom comes back in showers and I suddenly find myself drenched in an intense amount of emotion — so much that it feels too strong to take. Almost... like suffocation. Will I be able to survive like this?
I sigh. A poem... I type back a reply.
I don't. I don't google it. Instead, I find myself putting my phone down and staring up at the black ceilings of my bedroom.
Her reply comes with a ping soon enough though, and I find myself grabbing for my phone instantly.
I smile. Phew. Maybe I won't get beat up after all.
As soon as the message is typed, I press send and let it drop on me. In the peaceful darkness, my phone lands on my abdomen with a thump and I let out a slow sigh. Strangely, it doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would. In the darkness, right now, I can't see anything, but still, I lie on my back staring at the ceiling as if the room is lit as brightly as it can be. I may not be able to see anything in this darkness, but I can think more than I can see when there's light. In the darkness, thoughts come freely to me.
A visitor. The poem comes to my mind out of the blue. I'm curious, it's true. What piece of wisdom and advice can this poem have? I pick my phone up again. It takes a bit to get the spelling of the poet's name right, but soon I have google popping up thousands of hits for my search. I click on one with an English translation.
A Visitor
'Meeting someone in life is
something that's actually astonishing.
That's because he brings himself
with his past,
present,
and his future.
That's because someone's
whole life comes along.
The heart is fragile.
Therefore, it might have been broken.
The heart is coming too...'