I woke up this morning scared and sweaty. I had a really long, unbearable, scary dream last night that made me want to cry. Max kept licking my face since dogs sense when you're sad.
"Ray what's wrong baby?" August asked sitting up rubbing his face.
"Uh it's just really hot right now. I'm gonna go downstairs and cool off"
"Ight" I got up and walked downstairs to the living room with Max following me. I opened a window letting the cool early morning air blow in.
I made myself some tea and sat down in front of the window overwhelmed with my emotions. I thought these dreams stopped. I really did. If they continue August is going to ask questions. I can't just lie to him.
I closed my eyes leaning my head against the wall. I can't do this again. Go through the dreams, the headaches, waking up in the middle of the night, crying myself to sleep, getting asked tons of questions. I won't be able to go through it with two living human beings in my stomach.
I decided to do what I do best and clean the huge house taking all morning. When every corner in the whole house was spotless I made breakfast. I don't think I can keep being a vegetarian. These babies are demanding bacon, cheeseburgers, chicken, and everything else vegetarians can't eat. So I listened and made apple cinnamon pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs.
I threw together a mixed berry smoothie then sat down eating my food still kind of nervous about my dream.
August walked in on the phone with his manager looking frustrated and kind of mad.
"You had me in everyday these past three weeks working overtime. My girl is pregnant and we got things to do.....Yeah.....No that's not what I'm saying.....Man aight I'll be there soon" He hung up and sat down eating his food.
"He wants you to work again?"
"Yeah his arrogant ass is on a fucking power trip. You sure you alright?"
"Mhm"
"Okay"
"Are you gonna do anything today?"
"Yeah my dad is picking me up and taking me to see my mom. Then Shalia, Kayla, Kechia, and me are going to buy some more things for after the babies are born"
"Sounds cool. I gotta go. See you tonight"
"Alright babe love you"
"Love you too" He gave me a kiss before leaving. I barely see him anymore. I went up to my room and took a quick shower forgetting about my traumatizing past for 15 minutes.
I wrapped a towel around my hair and got dressed in a black maxi skirt with a red sheer button up. I wore a black bandeau underneath it. Max ran in the closet and stole my hat out of my hand. He is too much. I chased him all the way to the basement and yanked it from his teeth out of breath. I think he likes to see me struggle.
I went back upstairs and straightened my hair. I put the red snapback on backwards along with red and black sandals. My dad called telling me he was outside so I went and got in his car.
He drove to the hospital and we both got visitor passes. In my mom's room it was freezing. As if she already died and her ghost was haunting the room.
"Mom it's okay. You can let go. I'm sorry and I hope you forgave me by now. You probably can't hear me but I love you and I forgave you. So could you forgive me?" I grabbed her hand and squeezed it gasping when the heart monitor flatlined.
No one even came in to help. I kissed her cheek and covered her face with the blanket. My hormones attacked and I exploded into tears. My dad hugged me for awhile letting me calm down. I called all my sisters and told them the news. Since I knew they wouldn't want to do anything today I called Mia.
"Hey boo wassup?"
"Not much. I'm dealing with shit right now"
"Oh. Want to do something to take your mind off it?"
"Definitely"
"Okay I'll come pick you up in like an hour"
"Alright I'll see you then" I hung up then let my dad take me home. I got an apple and right before I turned on some music someone knocked on the door. When I opened it I choked on my apple at the sight of Sarita. She's a girl from a house I used to work at. Her dad was an abusive man and we both knew it.
"What are you doing here?! You can't be here! What are you doing here?!" She walked in the house and closed the door.
"I'm sorry! My dad. He's still hurting me"
"Sarita I can't help you. He hurt me too! You just need to get away from him"
"He won't let me. He's at work right now. Can I stay here?"
"NO!! Sarita I'm engaged and pregnant and he doesn't know!"
"Wait, you haven't told your fiancé that my father raped and abused you nearly everyday? That's such a huge part of your life and he doesn't know?! Rayna do you love him?"
"Yes I love him!"
"Yeah he does too obviously. He proposed to you! You have to tell him. What about the scars? The one on your back, ankle, behind your ear?"
"I hid them"
"Rayna if you don't tell him I will!"
"Oh my god you wouldn't!!"
"Yeah I would. I'll just make myself comfortable in here and wait for him to get here"
"How did you even find me?!"
"It wasn't hard. Have a seat we can wait together"
I can't have her be the one to tell him. Then August will hate me. I sat down staring at her for a really long time. But that ended when Max started barking at the mail man. I went outside to get him and stood shocked when I seen August getting out of his car. I ran back inside about to have a panic attack when Sarita looked out the window smiling.
He walked in getting greeted by Sarita.
"Welcome home August have a seat. We need to talk" Sarita said.
"Who are you?"
"Rayna's old friend. There's some things you don't know about your girlfriend"
"Rayna what is she talking about?"
"Sarita I think you should leave. I'll tell him"
"Promise?"
"Yes I promise"
"I'm gonna wait on the porch"
I sat August down on the couch waiting until Sarita walked outside to look at my confused fiancé.
"August please don't hate me after I tell you this"
"Depends. What is it?"
"I-I uh well about 5 years ago when I was 16 I worked at Sarita's house. H-her father would hurt the both of us when he was there-"
"Hurt? Hurt how?"
"He um r-raped me whenever he had the chance. He would beat the both of us until we were unconscious. I have scars from knife cuts-"
"Rayna why didn't you tell me?!"
"I was scared! Aug I'm sorry!"
"Yeah well right now I don't really care" He got up and ran upstairs. I followed him about to cry when I seen him packing a bag.
"August! August baby please don't leave!!" I blocked his way out of the closet crying as he ignored me and zipped up the bag.
"Move Rayna!" I didn't move. He can't just leave like that. "MOVE" He pushed me against the wall pretty hard. Before I knew it he was gone and I was in pain. I wasn't thinking about that though. I ran downstairs and outside crying harder when he sped off in his car.
I looked at Sarita's shocked face then ran inside and slammed the door when she tried to apologize. I laid on the couch crying so hard I got a fever and wanted to pass out.
I tried calling him but of course he didn't answer.
"Hey new bestie! Time to- Rayna oh my god what's wrong?!!" Mia asked sitting next to me.
"August left and I don't know if he's coming back"
"What? Babe what happened?!"
"I told him that a man I worked for raped and beat me and his daughter and he left. I should've told him when he told me he loved me!"
"He left because you told him about your past. I understand why it took so long. Any ideas where he might be?"
"I don't know with Javaris"
"Javaris?! I'll be back hon stop crying" I stood up and took my shirt off fanning myself.
"It's way too hot in here!"
"Oh my god! Rayna where'd that bruise come from?!" She put her hand on my shoulder.
"Oh um August pushed me into the wall and I hit the corner of the shelf"
"This doesn't hurt?"
"Yeah it does I just don't really care right now"
"Let me take a picture of this real quick" She took a picture shaking her head. "August is about to feel really bad"
"No don't show him that! He was mad and I should be the one apologizing"
"Um da fuq? No you should not! I'd be scared to tell him too and he had no right to hurt you! Lay back down and calm all the way down" I listened to her falling asleep five minutes later.
2 Weeks Later
"Time for your appointment Ray get dressed!!" Janice yelled. I got up from the comfortable bed and went inside the closet. I changed into some red leggings, a gray tank top, gray and red Samoa's, and a gray snapback.
I finally get to find out the sex of the babies. I just wish August would go with me. He still hasn't said a word to me since I told him about my past. Mia and Janice took me to my appointment and I think they were twelve times more excited than I was.
I laid on the bed and let the doctor do her thing.
"Rayna it looks like the older one is a boy and the younger one is a girl"
"Oh my gosh I'm gonna cry!"
1 Hour Later
Mia got a phone call from August saying he wanted to talk to me so we went over to Javaris' house. He was on the porch with some of Javaris' friends.
He surprised me with a hug, kiss, and apology.
"August I don't want to think about that right now. We just found out the sex of the babies"
"What are they?"
"A boy and a girl!"
He smiled about to say something and everyone was cut off when a car slowly drove past firing gun shots at all of us. It was all a blur. When they were gone I seen August leaning against the wall with two shots to his chest. I watched stuck in place as he slid to the ground.
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The End
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