New beginnings.
That's always what I was told.
New beginnings where made because we, as humans had an undying urge to start completely fresh.
Timothée however, still enjoyed the same restaurants, the same music and the same films.
He wasn't a completely fresh start but he was unforgettably my fresh start.
He always woke me with a kiss, sometimes more. Breakfast in bed was a slight necessity. Then again so was binge watching any tv show we found fit.
He then adored me in cuddles before checking if I was okay to go to the beach, or explore the shops.
Our honeymoon.
That's where we were.
On our beautiful honeymoon.
Christmas in New York.
The snow splattered gently against the window as our fire crackled. Timothée had rented this beautiful log cabin for at least a month. I had explained I need to return to retrieve my life support and unfortunately that was next weeks job.
But for now we laid beside each other, our bodies intertwined on the floor, the cliche blanket laying across our bodies. I was in pure bliss.
"I never asked you," Timmy mumbled, sitting up. "What made you change your mind?"
I giggle a little. "That stupid voice in my head was correct the whole time. I was holding a grudge that I had to move past. I guess I felt this was the best way. It worked though didn't it?"
He shrugged, placing a kiss on my lips. "I guess so."
- -
Looking back at this very moment I realised that I did indeed fully love Timmy. No. I was in love with Timmy. Reflecting was always a key part in our relationship.
Like that time he tried to teach me to snowboard. I fell straight into the snow, Timmy landing on top of me. We made love back in the cabin that night. Heck, we did it mostly every night, neither one of us being able to keep our hands off of each other.
I also reflect on the time before Timmy. How awful my life truly was. Hiding secrets from everyone. But now it seemed like everyone was happy.
Me and Timmy may not of had the best relationship. To be honest, it was pretty messed up. We weren't even in a relationship for the majority of the time we were making out or whatever. But in the end, it turned out to be pure bliss.
That's the thing I'll always hold dearest to my heart. The thing I will knowingly always look back on and think, why did I waste so many days?
Because although we never made it to that doctors appointment, and although we never finished our honeymoon, and although the one month rent turned out to be only three weeks, I think it's safe to say that, we had the most amazing time together. And when I finish writing this letter, I want you to read out the other.
Read it to our family and friends. Read it everyone. Because the only person I will ever look back on and believe that I truly could never live without is you.
Timothée Chalamet.
Only you.
I love you. So much.
Love, your beautiful and short lived wife,
Rosa Hampton.