It's the next morning and everyone is packing their stuff. Octavia wants to go somewhere and of course everyone listens to her even though Clarke said that is wasn't a good idea. Right now I'm holding my backpack while I'm standing next to Miller.
I haven't spoken to him in over six years. He and I were never really that close but I still considered him my friend. Now when I look at him I feel like I don't even know him anymore. I've got that feeling with a lot of people.
''How did you guys survive all these years?'' I ask him while I look at everyone still packing things. Not even one of them looks at peace. They all know what kind of danger there is on this planet. What could happen if Diyoza comes back.
''We managed but it was hard. Octavia made this kind of game where people who committed crimes would fight against each other. Only one would remain.''
Sounds a lot like Octavia. At first I wouldn't have thought that a game like that would be her idea but when I saw her coming out of that bunker I knew that she had changed a lot.
''She changed, didn't she? What happened there that changed her so much?'' I ask Nate while I turn towards him. He looks at me and shrugs. Seems like he doesn't know. I saw that he and Octavia were kind of close or something like that. Octavia seems to trust him a lot and that's good.
''She changed yeah. She's not the same Octavia she was when the Ark sent us to earth. But neither are you, neither am I. We all have changed. Some for the worse, some for the better.''
I nod and think about how much I have changed.
I remember times that I was truly happy and didn't have to worry about anything. That was when we landed on earth and didn't know that there were other people here. From there it started. I got taken and became a commander. From that moment I changed. A lot. And sometimes I wish I could turn that back.
But I know that I can never change into the old me again. No one can do that even though we want to. I just want to be that happy girl again and not the person who needs to look over her shoulder the whole time. I don't want to be the kind of mother who has to worry about her son the whole time. I don't want all of that but I can never change that.
''Let's go!'' someone suddenly shouts. I immediately stop thinking about how much I've changed and I take a deep breath. I never really thought about it too much but now my mood has immediately changed.
Soon everyone starts to move and follows someone who is in the front. Let's begin our adventure to death. And I'm dreading it.
-----
''What were you and Miller talking about?'' Bellamy asks me after a few minutes of silence. It's night already. We decided to camp somewhere in the middle of nowhere and Bellamy, Clarke and I are sitting at a fire.
The rest is all sitting with Octavia or somewhere else. They are saying things that I don't care about right now. I would have cared about it if I hadn't stopped thinking about what Nate said today. It's been on my mind all day.
''About how much we've all changed. And about how much I want to turn back towards the old me,'' I whisper. my head is resting on Bellamy's shoulder and his head is on mine. Our fingers are intertwined and as I look at our hands I realize that this is something I don't want to change. I want to feel like this forever when I'm around him.
''I like you the way you are right now,'' Bellamy whispers back. It should have made me happy to hear that. And it does. But I can't help but think of which version of me he likes better. The old me or the me now. Because I like the old me better to be honest.
''We've all changed, you're right about that. But we had to otherwise I don't think we would have made it this far,'' Clarke says. I know that she's right. We would have died a long way ago if we hadn't changed.
I take a deep breath and try to stop thinking too much about it. It only makes me sad and some kind of angry because we had to become someone else so fast because of everything that happened around us.
''Help! Someone help us!''
I immediately stand up when I hear Nate calling for help and I run towards him. He's carrying someone with another person. They're coming to us very slowly and I see that the other guy is exhausted so I quickly run towards them as fast as I can and take his place.
I help Nate bring the man towards Octavia but it's kind of difficult because he keeps screaming and moving around. When we reach Octavia we place the man on the ground and he just keeps moving around like crazy.
''What the hell happened? What's wrong with him?'' I ask Nate worried.
I've never seen someone act like this and it's making me kind of scared.
''I don't know, we ate then we split up. Suddenly I just heard him scream and then we brought him here. I don't know what's wrong with him!''
Nate is also freaking out and I put my hand on his shoulder hoping it calms him down a little bit.
''Let me help,'' Clarke says while she walks towards the man. But Indra stops her and she looks at Octavia. I look at Octavia as well and see that she's hesitating. I can't believe this. You can't call her a leader. She doesn't even want to try to save one of her people.
''Octavia, don't act so stupid and let Clarke help. She's got more experience than you!'' I say kind of angry. I don't understand why she doesn't want Clarke to help the man. She doesn't know what she has to do and Clarke probably does. And if she doesn't then at least she tried to help.
Clarke pulls his shirt up looking if there's anything wrong but when she does that something in his stomach moves. Everyone including Clarke backs away and looks at his stomach.
''Did something just move is his stomach?!'' I question hoping that I saw that wrong.
Clarke nods and looks again. There it is again. There's something in his stomach and it's making me want to throw up. I want to get out of here. This place is dangerous and disgusting. I knew we were going to walk towards our deaths.
''How did it get in there?'' Nate asks.
I don't even want to know. But what I do know is that I'm never going to leave someone's side and that I'm going to wear a lot of clothes so that nothing can crawl up my skin.
Bellamy suddenly pulls the man's pants up a little but from the bottom and we all can see that there's a little hole in his leg. So that's how it got in.
-----
Clarke, Bellamy and I are sitting in one of the tents with the man that has a parasite in his body. I rather would be somewhere else right now but I don't want to leave their side. I'm laying on one of the beds while Clarke is looking at anything suspicious besides the hole in his leg.
''Do you think you can get that thing out of him?'' I ask Clarke while I shift a little.
My hands are now under my head and I look at the ceiling of the tent. I would have liked looking at the stars better.
''I don't know. I want to but I can't just cut into his stomach without knowing if that thing is dangerous,'' Clarke says while putting her hands in her hair. How can you not know if that thing is dangerous or not. It's in someone's body, of course it's dangerous.
''Something's coming!'' someone suddenly shouts from outside the tent.
Clarke quickly gets out of the tent and Bellamy also stands up but he stops when he realizes that I'm not standing up as well.
''Just go, I'll watch him,'' I say with a little smile. I don't want to watch his guy but I'm also tired of danger all the time and I don't want to know what's out there. I just want to have some rest for a few seconds.
I look at the man and sigh. How can something just crawl under a humans skin and go into his stomach. That's just disgusting and it shouldn't be possible. But it happened and I feel terribly sorry for him to have to endure this.
After a few minutes he suddenly starts to scream and I panic because I don't know what to do. He's moving a lot again so I just make my way towards him quickly and try to hold him down. Clarke and a few others run into the tent and someone helps me hold him down.
I look at his stomach and this time I can feel my stomach turning and I have to look away for a second. There's a spot in his stomach that keeps getting higher and it looks like it's about to explode. And it does.
Suddenly there's blood everywhere and there's not only human screams and shouts. Those parasites, which I thought was just one but appears to be a lot, are also making sounds and it terrifies me.
One of them lands on my arm and as fast as I can I slap it away. I don't need that in my body, no I'm good. I quickly make my way out of the tent not even caring about who is staying behind. I know everyone wants to get out of that tent as fast as they can so the only one that stayed behind is the person who had those parasites in his body.
''Octavia!'' I scream when I see her fall on the ground. Someone burns down the tent and I quickly make my way over to her. One of those things made it's way into her arm. I quickly wrap my hands around her upper arm so that the thing doesn't get anywhere else.
Clarke and Bellamy also reach her and we help Octavia stand up so we can go to a tent and get that thing out as fast as we can. My hand is still wrapped around her arm and when the worm is moving towards it I squeeze as hard as I can so that it doesn't go anywhere else. I can feel it move under her skin and I try not to think about it too much.
''There are a dozen of those worms, they must lay their eggs-''
''Shut up! Get the hell out of here!'' I interrupt the girl.
I don't want to know if those worms can lay eggs or not. I just want that out of her arm so that she doesn't end up like that man. Who is dead. Clarke strings something around Octavia's upper arm and makes it as tight as possible.
''Will that stop it?'' Bellamy asks.
Well if it doesn't stop the worm then we're all screwed. Octavia even more than us though.
''It's not for the worm it's for the blood. I need a knife, now,'' Clarke commands someone.
Indra grabs her knife and gives it to Clarke. I'm not so sure I want to see this but I have to be here for Octavia.
''Someone make a fire so we can burn it immediately!'' I shout.
If we don't burn the worm when it's out of Octavia then it might go to someone else and I don't want that happening. But no one is moving, everyone is just looking at what Clarke's doing.
''Okay, this is gonna hurt!'' Clarke tells Octavia.
She presses the knife against Octavia's arm and makes a cut. I don't know what the hell she does then but I know that I thankful that it isn't me who's having a worm in her arm.
''Clarke, you're gonna lose it,'' Bellamy says while Clarke is trying to get the worm. Octavia is definitely not comfortable with this. I grab her other hand and squeeze. I just want her to think that this is going to be okay and that's we're here for her and that we're trying everything to get that out.
''Like hell I am,'' Clarke says. She's desperately trying to get the worm our of Octavia's arm but I can see that it's difficult. While Clarke is trying to get the worm out someone suddenly talks through the radio.
I'm not really listening because I'm too occupied with Octavia but suddenly I hear the word missiles. I don't want to be blown up to be honest.
''Where do we find cover from missiles in the middle of a wasteland?'' Indra asks.
Clarke has got the worm out of Octavia's arm and is trying to get it into a pot. I don't understand why she doesn't just burn it, then it's dead. Now it's still alive.
''If they see us retreat, they'll stand down,'' Clarke says.
One look at Octavia and I know that she doesn't agree with her. I really need to talk some sense into her because she will get everyone killed.
''You still don't understand. Wonkru does not retreat,'' Octavia says with her remaining power. Whatever that worm did, it took a lot of her power and she looks tired. But we can't have her fall asleep, not now.
''No, you don't understand! You're being a child, Octavia. If you keep acting like this then you will get all of our people killed. I have only seen you for a day and you might think you're a leader, but when I look at you I don't see one. You make to many mistakes and if you want to avoid that then you've got to listen to us,'' I say now angry.
She looks angry at me but I don't care. I meant what I said. I don't see her as a leader and when I look at Indra I see in her eyes that she agrees about the mistake parts. Indra has followed a lot of leaders so she out of all people should know what a great leader looks like.
''Those ruins are not our home. That valley is, and we're taking it back.''
''Octavia for once don't be a bitch and just listen to someone else!'' I snap at her.
I can't stand her. She's acting as if she's the only person here. As if she's the only person who has a say on this planet.
''You'll understand,'' she just says.
Then she walks away. I wanted to walk after her and talk some more sense into her but I know that she won't listen to me.
Not long after this everyone is standing next to each other. We're all holding on to one another as strong as we can while the storm is trying to blow us away. Indra keeps screaming to hold on to each other. No one even dares to let go in fear of what will happen. All we can do is just holding on to each other while looking at Octavia who keeps falling asleep for short periods.
——-
Once the storm was gone and it was day again we could finally let go of each other. My arms were sore and there were a few cuts on my arms and a few on my face. The glass in the storm surely hurt.
"Indra, you're going to be okay," I say while I hold her hand. Clarke said that there's probably glass in her lungs and it's making it hard to breath for her.
She slowly nods but I know that she doesn't believe me. I don't believe myself. How does one get glass out of their lungs?
"How is your arm Octavia?" I ask while I look at her. I'm still angry at her but it doesn't mean that I want her to be injured.
"It's fine."
We're both mad at each other apparently. But she should have known better. I hope that she at least thinks a little bit about what I said to her last night. About making mistakes. Everyone makes them but when you're a leader you've got to think twice about it.
Thirteen dead and a lot injured. I knew that would happen. I even warned Octavia but she didn't really listen and now she has to endure their deaths.
I'm looking at all the people that are lying in the sand injured. I want to help them so badly but I can't help them all. I start to walk over to somebody planning to help them when I suddenly hear a car.
The people who aren't injured and are still standing are pointing their guns at the car. I don't know who's in that car but I hope it's not our enemy.
Suddenly Madi comes out of the drivers seat and runs towards Clarke. I immediately smile and take a few steps towards the car. Bellamy is standing next to me.
Monty comes out of the car and waves at Octavia. Then Harper comes out of the car holding Lincoln's hand. Lincoln looks around and when he sees us he quickly runs towards us.
"Mommy! Daddy!"
When he reaches us he opens his arms and practically jumps into Bellamy's arms. Lincoln puts an arm around my neck and pulls me into the hug.
I laugh and press a kiss on his cheek. I look at Harper and smile at her. She smiles back and nods indicating that he's fine. So I don't have to check him for any injury.
"Lincoln, I want you to meet someone," I whisper in his ear. He looks happy at me and is still holding on to Bellamy.
"Wait here, okay?" I ask Bellamy and Lincoln. Bellamy looks a bit worried. He knows who I'm going to get but he doesn't have to be worried because I'm gonna have a quick chat with her first.
I walk over to Octavia and look at her. I help her stand up and she looks at Lincoln and Bellamy.
"That's my son and if you do anything that makes him even the slightest upset, I'm gonna skin you alive and you're gonna wish that you still had that worm inside your arm, you understand me?"
I don't care that she's his aunt and my sister in law. She hurts my son and she's dead meat. She nods and starts to walk but I grab her hand to stop her.
"Same thing goes for Bellamy. You don't know how many nights he cried because you were done here and he was up. All he has done is to protect you and you don't even see it. So be nice to him."
Then I let her go and walk towards my husband and my son. I don't look behind me to see if she's following me or not. I reach them before she does.
"Meet your aunt, Octavia," I say with a smile to Lincoln. He's now standing on the ground holding Bellamy's hand while he watches Octavia getting closer.
When she's standing in front of him she just stares at him and he stares back at her. But then Lincoln lets go of Bellamy's hand and gives Octavia a hug.
Since Lincoln is a little bit little for a six year old he's practically hugging her waist but soon Octavia sits on her knees and hugs him back.
I smile at the sight and take Bellamy's hand. I'm still a bit wary about Octavia being around Lincoln but their family and I should trust Octavia not to hurt him.
I sigh and lean me head against Bellamy's shoulder. It's nice to see Lincoln being so happy to meet his new aunt. I hope he stays happy.
-----