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Octavia hasn't woken up yet. No one knows if she will. There is a lot of commotion going on because of this sudden situation and I'm worried something really bad will happen because of this. Everyone is worried and doesn't know what to do and that will eventually lead to problems.

I'm currently sitting next to Octavia's bed while looking at her sleeping. She looks peaceful like this. But then you think about how she is when she's awake and my thoughts immediately change.

"Is she awake yet?"
Jackson walks into the room looking worried at Octavia. It's awkward talking to him because we haven't spoken for so long.

"No. She feels less cold though," I say not taking my eyes off her. Even though I don't like her, I don't want people to be thinking that it was me poisoning her cause when she doesn't make it then maybe I can take over. But I can only do that if they trust me.

"Well that's a good sign."
Jackson is quiet for a while but I just know he wants to say something. I can see it on his face. Something's bothering him.

"Do you know who poisoned her, Emily?"
I knew someone would eventually ask me this question. I'm happy I'm not a terrible liar. Otherwise they would instantly know who it was.

"Was it Bellamy?" Jackson asks.
I look at Octavia and then slowly at Jackson.

''Do you really think that if he did it I would tell you? Bellamy is my husband, I would do anything to protect him from danger. I would die for him. Besides, Octavia is Bellamy's sister, do you really think he would do that to his sister?''

I thought he was gonna say no to be honest. I don't know how to react right now so I just look back to Octavia. I just hope that my reaction doesn't make him suspicious. I can't have Bellamy looking like a suspect. Even though he already does.

A part of me hopes that Octavia doesn't wake up so that nothing will happen to Bellamy. Another part of me does want her to wake up. I don't know why cause she is going to hurt the ones I love because of her being poisoned. Maybe she will even hurt me for it.

Suddenly the door opens and Indra walks in. I can't look at Indra the same way now that she has helped Bellamy with poisoning her. But I know that this is hard for her since Octavia is like a daughter to her.

"Jackson, could you leave me and Emily alone for a bit?" Indra asks.
I don't look away from Octavia. I don't even know exactly why I'm here but I can't go now that Indra wants to talk to me.

Once Jackson is out of the room I take my eyes of Octavia but I don't look at Indra. It's silent for a moment but then she starts to speak.

"Bellamy wants Madi to be the commander. He wants to give her the flame. I don't think it belongs to her."

"It doesn't belong to Octavia, Indra. Even though she is good leader sometimes, she's not a nightblood. She will die the moment you put that flame in her," I say while standing up and looking at Indra.

"I wasn't talking about her."
It takes a few seconds to realize that she is referring to me and I immediately shake my head.

"No. I don't want to be commander. Not anymore. Not after what happened to Lexa and all the others. I know what will happen when I take the flame. I'll see all the old commanders, including Lexa. Including Anya."

"Isn't that what you want? To see them again, to hear them talking and giving advise?" Indra asks me while taking a few steps towards me.

Even thinking about them hurts me. I never knew Anya for that long but I knew her long enough to know that she was actually a nice person and just looked bad to the rest of the 100. Anya wanted her people to be safe so she did anything to protect them.

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