There was yet another flower to be found. This time it didn't bring a sense of comfort from home, it brought a strange feeling. (Guilt?) Sigyn sat on a bench in Frigga's gardens shrouded by shrubbery and large trees, the flower in her hands. It was a peaceful morning after the engagement feast. Most of Asgard was still slumbering. When Sigyn touched her lips, she could still feel the ghost of Loki's lips on hers. At one point she questioned if it was a wild dream that felt too real.
But she knows it was real and it happened.
Sigyn felt like disguising herself and taking a ship back to Vanaheim to get away from this place, from this horrible feeling, to forget the memory. What a stupid mistake. She put the realms at risk all for a kiss she has been dying for. Sigyn looked up, squinting her eyes against Asgard's suns. She had been dying for it. By the Norns. Sigyn had a revelation. From the moment she went to bed, to the moment she woke up, Loki has been plaguing her mind like a disease.
She crushed the flower in her hand and it burst with green hugr.
Valhalla, take me now! pleaded Sigyn. Take me away from this place.
It went on for days like this. Sigyn avoided Loki, and he avoided her. Even when they were made to be in the same room for a tedious meeting of ceremonies, neither could look at each other. But when Sigyn dared turn her eyes, Loki looked away pretending to be invoked in what the council man had to say. She tore her eyes away, tending them to Thor at her side instead.
Thor, who is her betrothed, she reminded herself for days now. Gods, how awkward. It was like Loki and Sigyn were the only ones who could feel the tension between them and it was killing them. That kiss should never have happened and these feelings in Sigyn... she shook the thought away and buried them. That is what she did anytime they tried to resurface. That is what she did when Loki came to the front of her mind. She pushed him back and buried the thought with worries about her wedding.
Preparations were well deep begun as the days went past. Banners with the valknut at the centre and two vines cupping the valknut either side; to represent Asgard and Vanaheim where already strung up. Everybody in Asgard had a role to play in the wedding. The stables, the blacksmiths, the tailors, even common folk. Nearly everyday, there was thousands of workers in the hall of Asgard setting up preparations. It was going to be a busy two weeks.
But lately, Sigyn has been seeing less of Loki. He didn't attend meetings or hearings and occasionally would sit for dinner. But today, he was nowhere to be seen. And Sigyn didn't ask. She felt it would better help herself get over this feeling she had every time she saw him.
But, every morning without skipping a beat she found a flower.
"I don't know how you do it." Sigyn said, to her sister Nanna.
"Do what?" she asked, absentmindedly as she dressed Forseti into his attire for the wedding. She fixed his coat, noting that it was a tad too big.
"Be a wife and a mother and love Baldur as much as you do."
Nanna told Forseti to get into his shoes and he refused. Nanna huffed, on her knees, "Siggy, the first step - Forseti, but your foot in. Like that... straighten your toe and it will fit. The first step to love, it's not something you can see or force... now the other foot... Its just a feeling that grows... do they fit, Forseti?"
"Yes, mother." he wiggled his toes inside his new red shoes.
"Run around in them." Nanna commanded her son. Forseti broke into a gallop, neighing like a horse as he galloped around his mothers dress. Nanna turned her eyes to Sigyn. "Being a mother cannot be taught, Siggy. You can learn to be one, but when you bare a child you will understand. Even if you don't love Thor, you will love your children no matter what. It's unconditional and undying love. You would die for them in a heartbeat."
"I am talking about you and Baldur, how do you do it, I mean?" Sigyn paced. Her stress levels were growing high the more Forseti shouted and neighed and ran circles around Nanna. "How do you love?"
"Love is not easy. It is not hard, either. You can't force it, and you can't choose it either."
Sigyn sighed, frustrated. "Riddles wont help. The wedding is a week away almost!"
"Mother, look at me!" Forseti bounded.
"Yes, very good. Siggy, you just have to let yourself feel..."
The chamber doors burst open and Hnoss stumbled into the room tears streaming down her red face. Her perfect white hair was disheveled and she screamed. "You must come quickly, something is happening!" she screamed. Was someone being murdered?
Sigyn and Nanna looked at each other. Forseti stopped galloping, shock on his face. The sisters ran forward with urgency catching Hnoss before she collapsed. She was shaking uncontrollably. "What happened, Hnoss, tell us!" Nanna dragged the poor girl to the sofas. She cupped her red stained cheeks flowing with makeup and tears. "Tell us!"
"The Dwarven brothers..." she cried. "Brokk and Eitri - Loki wagered his head. Heuhuhu." she sucked in shaky breaths. Sigyn heart dropped into her stomach. "The brothers of Ivaldi. They showed up suddenly, all of them barring gifts for each of us. Mother and father judged Brokk had the best gifts. Loki lost the wager!" she cried harder and the tears became stronger. Her words are blurred together though her tears and hysterics. Then she shouted,
"Now they want his head!"
Nanna and Sigyn looked at each other wide eyed. "What do we do?" Nanna cried.
"Hnoss, where are they?" Sigyn demanded to know as quickly as possible.
Hnoss pointed in a random direction. "The council chamber!"
Sigyn picked up her dress and she broke into a run. She ran as fast as her heart was pumping. She flew down the corridors and passageways of the palace in a flurry of pure panic. Sigyn almost tumbled down the stairs and she took a hard turn right. Was she going the right way? Norns, she can't remember the way there. Sigyn flew into an Einherjar, frantically asking him the way.
He pointed, confusion on his face and Sigyn broke into a sprint. Walls blurred as she ran, the image of Loki's severed head in the hands of the Dwarven King played through her mind. Lifeless sunken eyes. Mouth agape in horror. Pale grey skin. His hair balled into a fist.
Was she too late?
Sigyn was fast approaching the council chamber. The closer she got the louder the angry voices and shouting got. Shouting and begging and shouting of anger.
Sigyn came into the doorway, breathing heavy.
Loki was held down on the table by the crushing weight of King Eitri, King of the Dwarves. He was not a small being, but instead gigantic. Their heads of red brushed the ceiling. His brother, Brokk, held Loki's head straight and there was no screams coming from him and Sigyn feared they already killed him.
The sons of Ivaldi.
Worst of all, Odin watched. As did her father, Iwaldi and Freya. Sigvard was there too. All their eyes went to Sigyn and she wanted to shrink under their glare. Sigvard laughed in amusement. Gersemi rushed over to Sigyn, tears streaming down her face and she was shaking.
"Siggy." she fell into her sisters arms.
"Here she is, Sigyn to the rescue!" Sigvard announced her with a dramatic wave of his delicate hand.
"What is the meaning of all this?!" she said, comforting her distraught sister.
The Dwarves looked at the silver princess and King Eitri spoke with a thunderous voice. "This is what he gets for trying to worm his way out of a bet." His hair is orange like the flames of the suns, burnt from working in the forges and the strong smell of coal and iron wafts from the Dwarves.
Sigyn's arms left the care of her sister, and she came forward. "All-Father, do you do nothing!?" she shouted at him.
Odin folded his arms and let out a breath. He refused to met her eyes. Sigyn looked at Odin, who raised his head, "Loki must learn his lesson, princess, I thought you would know why."
"He is your son!" Sigyn fast approached the Dwarves. "Where is Thor?! Where is Frigga!? Where is my betrothed while his brother suffers!?" She puts both hands to King Eitri's leg, she but a tiny ant next to the girth of the Dwarven King. He looks down at her, barely able to feel her touch on his massive leg, bent at the knee, with Loki crushed underneath. Suddenly, the King became weak, and he toppled over. His massive body hit the ground with a thunderous boom that shook the palace and rattled the cutlery on the long table. Iwaldi shot up from his seat, his blue eyes large in shock.
"What did you do!?" Brokk shouted, his hot breath blowing over Sigyn. His hand reached for her.
"Touch her, and you will die!" King Iwaldi roared. He slammed his hand to the table and silver seidr burst upwards.
Brokk stayed his hand. Sigyn stared him down the middle of his eyes and after taking the energy from King Eitri she felt like she could pick up Brokk and toss him. Brokk lifted his hand from Loki and he quickly turned his back, rolling off the table and he fell to the other side. He is alive!
Sigyn looked around, disappointment in her eyes. She saw a statue of a golden boar in front of her mother, a silver ring on her father's finger. A small figure of a Midgardian Viking ship, small enough to fit into any pocket. A silver bangle for her brother, and a golden spear on the table.
Biting back angry tears, Sigyn rounds the table to where Loki had fallen and she stops. He was bunched over, his head down between his knees, and he made no sound.
She looks back up. "He tried to gain your favour." she stated. "Didn't he?" she turns to look up at the mountainous Dwarves. "What was his wager!?" she demanded to know.
The Ivaldi brothers spoke. "He bet us against each other; made us think we challenged each other."
"Who could forge the best gifts." the other one spoke.
Then Brokk said, "He wagered his head to Eitri, if he won, and he lost, and when we came to collect what was promised, he stated we could not harm any part of his neck, therefor we could not claim his head!" he seethed angrily. "The trickster thought he could worm his way out this one, so we taught him a lesson that would keep his mouth shut."
Sigyn blinked. "What?"
Sigvard picked up the bangle, examining the delicate knots carved into the bangle. "I wonder why." he said, earnestly. Sigyn looked at her brother. Her fist tightened.
Sigyn cautiously approaching Loki from behind. Her hand touched his shoulder and he jumped. She quickly took back her hand. What have they done to him? She looked up with glassy eyes. Her own mother looked at her like she was a wench. Sigyn tore her eyes away.
"Loki. What have they done to you?" she said in his ear.
He shook his head.
"Come with me, we are leaving. We are going to find your mother and brother." she said to him. She tugged on his arm. Finally, Loki turned to look at Sigyn and her mouth dropped open. She slapped her own hand to her mouth and a tear slipped down her cheek.
His mouth is stitched shut with horrid thread puncturing his lips and crisscrossing them closed. Blood and sweat drip down his chin. His skin sickly pale and his eyes are sunken in with tears long dried up. "Come," she hauled him to his feet. "We are leaving." she turned to the Aesir and Vanir and Dwarves and spat. "You should be ashamed of yourselves."
Loki murmured in pain, stumbling along side Sigyn as she quickly dragged him away, her arms around his body. His head down in shame. Sigyn marched him away and as she went, she picked up Gersemi from the floor and took her away too. Sigyn brought Loki and Gersemi to the safest place she knew. Her personal chambers. She looked at Loki as she angrily marched through the palace. He stumble weakly and tired and in agony. Gersemi even summoned enough courage to help Sigyn carry Loki. She got under his arm and helped lift the weight of him.
They came through Sigyn's chamber doors and she directly sat Loki on the sofas. "Go and inform Queen Frigga and Thor immediately." Sigyn ordered Gersemi.
She stood frozen, looking at Loki sadly with tears in her eyes. "I don't..."
Sigyn took her sisters arm and whipped her around. "You must hurry. Now go, I will tend to him." she told Gersemi. She nodded, wiping away tears and she picks up her dress and hurried away. Sigyn had already gone to her vanity and the bathhouse directly across the hall and brought back supplies. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage.
She was so angry. Her heart was beating so fast.
But when she came back to Loki, she was gentle again. She moved carefully and slowly, and Sigyn kneeled in front of him, trying to catch his eye. "Loki." She knew she had to help him fast. "Do you want me to send for a healer?"
Loki shook his head. He refused to meet her eyes, and turned his head away. He took in shaky breaths of pain through his nose. "I can help you." she told him in a gentle whisper. "You only have to let me, please." she begged.
He shook his head, swallowing the thick bile in his throat. His green eyes glazed over and he gripped the arm rest of the sofa. Was he angry at himself?
Sigyn got to her feet. She took a towel and a small pair of encrusted scissors and she placed herself next to him. "Wether I hold down your head, Loki, I will help you." she firmly stated. "Please. I won't ever hurt you, I promise."
He turned his head to her, eyes wide. He murmured, eyes casted down. Sigyn moved herself closer and he tensed. "Please." she softly said, raising the scissors and cupping his chin with the towel, gently cleaning up the blood that coated down his neck. He remained unmoving, but his eyes were focused on something at the floor. Sigyn took it as a sign. She brought the scissors closer and gently began to cut away at the thick twine crisscrossed over his lips.
She snipped away at them, until they were free'd from the outside. "Can you open your mouth?" she asked. She had to see the inside. Loki's head suddenly dropped, and she yelped catching his body before he dropped forward. "Loki!" His eyes fluttered and he sat himself back up.
Sigyn placed her palm to his forehead. He was burning up. "It's alright, I promise. I am here for you." From her palm, seidr flowed into Loki and suddenly he was alert. His eyes were glued to Sigyn. He had more spring to his energy all of a sudden. (Was this the power of her magic?)
Sigyn carefully peeled open his lip and he moved his head away groaning in pain. "I am sorry, Loki, but I have to cut the ones inside for they'll never come out." she placed a gentle hand to his arm. He put his head back blinking rapidly and breathing shallow.
"Take slow and deep breaths." she ordered, cupping his chin with the towel. With her thumb, she parted his thin lips. Loki stiffened and his hands clenched into fists. She could feel his fast breath against her hands. The cold metal of the scissors pushed into his mouth and with precision she snipped at the twine inside his mouth, all of them, until they came apart.
She wiped away more blood and put the tool to the table. "This part is going to hurt." she warned him. "I have to pull them out."
Loki nodded.
"Will it be easier to lay down?"
He nodded again. Sigyn moved aside and Loki adjusted himself, reclining to the length of the sofa and he stared up at the ceiling. Sigyn kneeled by his side. Sadly, she gazed at him, in pain for him. "What have they done to you." she said, brushing her hand over his head, through his black hair. "Why would you wager something so stupid, Loki?" she scolded him, a sadness to her voice.
He looked at her without the answer.
Sigyn assessed the wounds around his mouth deciding there was no easy way to do this but pull them out. Sigyn pinched a twine and she tugged on it earning a painful groan from Loki. "I'm sorry." she kept telling him as she further pulled on it. His groans grew louder until it was all removed. He dropped back into the sofa with a shaky breath.
That was only one of them - with many more to go. One by one, painfully, Sigyn pulled out the twine. More blood pulsed out of the gnarly puncture wounds. Loki was nearly in tears, and she told him it was okay to cry. She would not judge him for this. She got to the last one before Gersemi, Queen Frigga and Thor rushed into the chamber.
"Brother!?" Thor rushed over.
Sigyn gets to her feet in front of Thor. "He is okay!" she holds him back.
"Gersemi told us." Thor growled. "Loki, how foolish can you be?"
"He doesn't want to be seen, Thor. He needs space." she urgently told him, guiding him away from his brother. Thor tried to look over the sofa. He called for his mother who was crying at his side. "Thor, please, don't be angry at him. You can come back later." Sigyn put her hands to his toned chest. "There is something else you must do first."
Thor clenched his fists, anger struck in his eyes. "I will speak to my father about this. I will have King Eitri's head for this!" and he flew out of the room.
"What can I do?" Gersemi asked, her voice tired from crying.
"I need a bowl of water." Sigyn instructed. Gersemi nodded and rushed across the hall into the bathhouse. Sigyn circled the sofa where Queen Frigga was kneeled, comforting her son. She gazed up at Sigyn, tears in her eyes. "He doesn't want to see the healers. I said I'll do what I can." she said, to the Queen of Asgard.
Frigga held out her hand to Sigyn. "Thank you for this." Sigyn takes the Queen's hand. "Gersemi told us what you did in the council chamber. You are very brave for doing that to help Loki."
"I was doing my duty, my Queen." Sigyn looked at Loki with gentle blue eyes.
Frigga gets to her feet, leaving Loki's side. "You don't fret over Odin or your father, Sigyn. I will be having a very lengthy conversation about this and I promise you they will receive my wrath from the deepest parts of Helheim, I will unleash it all on them." she swore, firmly grasping Sigyn's delicate pale hand between both of her hands. "Odin should not have let those Dwarves so much as touch you." Frigga puts a soft hand to Loki's cheek. "I'm sure your brother is giving them hel, as we speak."
Gersemi returned with a bowl of water and extra towels.
"Loki is fatigued, my Queen. I will tend to him here." Sigyn affirms. Queen Frigga nodded once, gazing down at her son (Or a strangers son left on her doorstep) and the Queen told them she would return shortly. She swiftly left, taking Gersemi with her.
Sigyn brought over a small stool to sit on. "Is there pain in your jaw?" she touched his jaw, following the strong chiselled line of his face. Loki parted his lips and a ever so soft, "No." was uttered. Sigyn nodded in satisfaction. She quickly took her hands away and spun on the stool to the contents she dumped over the small table. She worked quickly and quietly, starting with cleaning up the blood with a wet towel and disinfecting the wounds around his mouth with a sour smelling potion she conjured.
As Sigyn worked, she would utter a word and with a manifestation of silver Seidr, an ingredient would appear. Loki watched her conjure things in awe. She was so deep into her concentration she didn't notice his stare until she finally turned with a concoction to apply to the wounds and she paused.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
Loki lifted his thin brow.
She sighed, remembering the night before, and the hazy kiss they shared and his blur of words when he confessed to her. She was still unsure about a lot of it. It made Sigyn feel more conflicted than before and she couldn't bare it. She was reminded of it anytime she looked at him.
"Sig..." he tried to say, and she shushed him.
"You can't move." she told him.
"I'm sorry if I caused you pain."
Sigyn swallowed the lump in her throat. She crossed her legs, dapping a new towel into the remedy bowl she conjured up. "What are you talking about?" she made sure to dip the towel a few times.
There was an exhale from Loki. "You know."
Sigyn turned with the towel in hand. "This may hurt because you refuse to see the healers." she gently put the towel to his mouth and he scrunched his eyes closed, a tear leaking from the corner and he groaned. Sigyn pressed the towel down to make sure her remedy got into the wounds. "This will help heal them. If you don't want scarring, Loki, see the healers. For me, please." she took the towel away.
"Are we going to ignore the bear in the room?" he whispered. Loki's green eyes are set on her like hunter to prey.
"I don't see a bear." she firmly said.
Loki blinked at her. "Are we going to ignore what happened the other night?"
She tensed, and he could see her jaw tighten. "Yes, we are. Because I already told you." she said, under her breath. "I am betrothed to Thor. And it's making me all confused and I don't know how to feel about anything anymore. You have been most kind to me all this time and I feel strongly about you."
"So you feel something for me, admit it?"
"No - yes. I don't know!" she rose to her feet, angry, and roughly straightened the ends of her dress. "The wounds inside your mouth are going to fester. I have done all I can. I am going to summon for a healer if you like it or not."
Loki sat up suddenly. "No, it will be an embarrassment."
"Would you rather your face be infection and swollen and ugly with horrible scars." she flailed her hands at him.
"Fine." he said. "You can call for a healer in a moment. I just want to sit here with you. It's your presence alone that brings me the most comfort of all. No medicine nor healer compares."
Sigyn turned her head away. "Save the flattery. I thought we agreed we wouldn't do this."
"Yes, but who says we can't?"
She spun back around. "Are you daft?" That seemed to shut him down and he slumped into the sofa again. She sighed tearing her eyes away. Sigyn went out into the corridor to find an Einherjar and commanded him to seek out a healer immediately. Sigyn came back into her chamber suddenly finding it awkward. It was very quiet and the rush had settled finally.
Sigyn slowly approached the sofa from behind, hands laced in front of her and she stopped just beside the lounge where Loki sat. There was not much more she could do to fix his wounds or stop the blood that pulsed out; other than offer him a towel to hold under his chin.
Sigyn quietly sat next to Loki on the sofa, hands in her lap. "Why would you wager something so ridiculous?" she asked.
Loki looked at Sigyn like a love sick boy. "I only wanted the best gifts fashioned for... for Iwaldi, and Freya, and your siblings..." Sigyn raised her brows expectantly. "I wanted their favour." he then said, and she looked down at her hands, biting the inside of her cheek. "So I bid Brokk and Eitri to who could fashion the best gifts with them thinking they had challenged each other. I said to the Dwarf King, if he won he could have my head thinking I would win."
"What a foolish thing to do and for a foolish endgame. Why do you want their favour so badly?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. To impress them I suppose, to get their approval for... for something I can't have."
She knew that wasn't true.
"It would be all for nought If I didn't have your favour, Princess Sigyn."
She smiled the best she could. "Always, Loki."