Dear Theo
I think Shaina is happier about our marriage than we are. I've written so much in this thing lately. I'm happy I think. I actually want to remember this. Forever and I do want kids. I love kids so much but I'm so afraid that I won't have any. I'm so afraid that this can't possibly last. I want it to. I want it to so badly but Theo, it can't.
My head hurts, Theo, but I want to go out tonight. I want to have fun with you and Shaina and Alex. I can stick it out.
lana