Chapter 5
Me:
Who are you? How did you get my number?
I texted it numerous times but I got no replies. The number's asking, and so when I do, it doesn't give any response. I even asked Lexus kung pinagti-trip-an niya lang ako but he had no idea what I'm talking about. Also, I got to ask Eria if she's happen to give any of my information to any company's or her friends but she directly answered me with no.
Unknown Number:
I got a job for you, if you'd like.
My hands shaken when I receive a message from. It wasn't give any answer from my question, and now he's asking again. I don't really know this person and whomever it is offering, it must a terrorist like or syndicate. That's a big no.
Me:
Sorry, not interested.
And I just blocked the number. Alam kong hindi ako papatulugin nito pero kung iisipin ko lang na joke lang 'to, siguro makakalimutan ko rin ito. Marami naman kasi talaga ngayon na nanloloko though text. Scam I mean.
Almost one hour na rin akong nag-scroll sa internet and the subject is 'what people do in parties' or 'what people do to make interactions in a party.' I know there's a lot of tip na mababasa at hindi ko naman alam kung masusundan ko rin. I'm not fond of doing the first move, kung gusto mo akong kausapin, you should start it, and if we had the common interest, hahaba na 'yong conversation natin. But now, I'm trying to change myself, ayoko na palaging kawawa na nag-aabang lang na may lalapit at kumausap sayo.
I'm afraid of interactions, but I'm not scared of having them to be part of my life.
Mayamaya lamang ay may kumatok na sa pinto, Lexus sneak in.
"You ready?" he asked.
Isinara ko naman ang laptop ko, saka tumango sa kanya. "I am..."
"I'll wait you outside." Aniya.
Before I left my room, I seek myself in the full length mirror. Sabi ni Lexus, something casual lang daw ang suotin ko dahil hindi naman formal party iyon. Most like, sa club ang venue. Ang karamihan ng damit ko ay nasa apartment, but atleast I still have something good in here. Hindi ko naman nagamit noon, it usually for party attire talaga. And I'm not on it.
"You can do this, Leanne, just go with the flow..."
I left my room and headed outside where Lexus waiting for me. Naghihintay naman siya sa loob ng sasakyan niya kaya naman pumasok na din ako sa loob. Gusto sanang sumama ni ate Loira but she got Veronica to watch, ang sabi naman ni Lexus, nandiyan naman daw si kuya Larry para magbantay pero hindi na lang daw.
Well, the outcasts are on party tonight.
"So, Ley, I'm warning you, there's a lot of people you don't know there, so don't get out of my sight, okay?" he said.
I rolled my eyes to him, "I'm not a child anymore, duh. I can do this on my own, I just don't know how..."
He chuckles, "you still think of many things..." he murmurs.
I looked at him, "maybe, I just grow up like this."
He shrugged off his shoulder, "then live out of it, stay out of your comfort zone. Just don't mind everything around you, they don't even care..."
I nodded, "okay..."
Half an hour, we reached the club. Medyo nagulat pa ako dahil sa isang kilalang club pala ag venue.
"Yayamanin ba 'tong friend mo kuya?" tanong ko naman.
He laughed, "actually he's not really my friend, it's my exes boyfriend."
My eyes widened on his confession, "so ang sinasabi mo, 'yong ex mo pa ang nag-invite sa'yo dito?"
He nodded, then smirked, "behave, little sister..." then he patted my shoulder.
Inalis ko naman iyong kamay niya sa akin saka siya bumaba ng sasakyan. Sumunod din naman ako sa pagbaba ng sasakyan, saka inabot ni Lexus sa valet 'yong key car niya. Habang papasok naman kami sa loob ng club, bigla naman akong inakbayan, saka napataas na lang ang kilay ko sa ginawa niya.
"Just ride with it..."
Isang bouncer naman ang humarang sa amin, pinaliwanag naman ni Lexus na party kami pupunta and when he's asking for me, Lexus told that I am his girlfriend. Tinitigan pa ako no'ng bouncer pero nang tingnan siya ni Lexus ay tumango na lamang ito at pinapasok na kami sa loob.
Lexus removed his hand on my shoulder and wink at me, "that's how you do it sissy!"
"Ewan ko sayo." I chuckles, "but you did great huh."
Mayamaya lamang ay may tumawag kay Lexus. Agad naman siyang napalingon sa akin. He's hesitating to go with me or leave to have fun with them. If I got to this, siguro kakayanin kong mag-isa na lang para masabi ko rin sa sarili ko at the end of the day na kaya ko nga.
"Go, kuya, I can handle myself."
"Sure?" he asked, and I nodded. "Call me if something happen, okay?"
"Okay..."
Lexus left me, boys are boys. Nawala na lang din siya sa mata ko nang sumalo na sila sa crowd. Nakatayo lamang ako, hindi alam kung anong gagawin, baka mamaya mapalabas pa ako dito dahil mukhang kakaiba ako para sa kanila. Ngayon lang ako nakapasok sa club, so totoo nga talaga na 'yong iba ay nagiging wild, some of them are thirsty of beers so they ended up drunk. Ang daming tao, iba't ibang mukha pero hindi ko alam kung paano ko sisimulan makipag-usap sa kanila.
So I start to wander around. I put Lexus on speed dial, kaya kung ano man ang maging problema ay madali ko na lang siyang matawagan. I headed straight to bar lounge. Ang sabi, most of the times, ang alcohol ang nagbibigay something from yourself na maging makapal 'yong mukha mo.
"Hi, can I have a light drink?" I asked the bartender.
He smiles at me, "one sangria coming..."
Hindi 'ko alam 'yong sinabi niya pero mukhang ladies drink naman iyon. I watched him to make my drink and at last, he give it to me. Napangiwi na lang din naman ako dahil hindi naman ako sanay uminom ng alak but I hope this tastes good.
When I was about to sip my drink, some guy sat next on me. And the weird thing is, he's looking at me or maybe he's onto me. Yay, I did not come for this, I come to have friends, not lovers.
"Are you alone?" he asked, then looked at the bartender asking for a beer.
I shook my head, "no, I'm with my brother."
"Screw your brother." He smirked, "I'm—"
"Not interested..." I immediately interrupted him. "Sorry, but I did not come for this..."
He chuckles, as he come to get my hand, agad ko naman iyong binawi. "What's on your mind, lady? This is a party and we can do whatever we want, so don't waste my time..."
He stood up and came closer to me, I tried to push him unto his chest but he's freakin' heavy. I'm shaking my head, when he's trying to go on my neck, kissing me is not the best way! And a life saver came, not my brother but a girl who seemingly stopped the man in front of me doing what he wants—note, it is just her presence. The guy got his beer and move away.
What the hell just happened.
I look at the girl who saved me, she's pretty and smiling to me.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
I nodded slowly, "thank you for doing that..."
"Are you alone? Who you come with?"
"My brother." I answered.
Her brows rose up, "who was he, then?"
"Lexus..."
Her face gloomed when I said Lexus' name. May magic ba sa mga babae kapag sinasabi 'yong pangalan niya? Parang doon pa lang, chick magnet na ang datingan niya.
"I knew you were familiar, you're Leanne right? I'm your brother's ex, obviously..." she giggles, "by the way, why'd he left you alone?"
"It's my idea!" ngiti ko pa sa kanya, "And I just wanna make friends..."
"I know your story..." when she said those words, napakunot noo na lang din ako saka niya hinablot ang kamay ko. "Come with me, hang with me and then girls. Anyway, wala din naman akong bitterness kay Lexus, so I guess it's okay to be friend with you..."
Inside of me, my soul lightened up. I never realized how this good was.
"Okay..."
"Yes! Okay! Do'n tayo sa dance floor!" higit pa nito sa akin.
Hindi na rin naman ako makaangal kundi ang sumama na lang sa kanya. Habang papunta naman kami sa dance floor ay hindi na maiwasan iyong mabangga ka nang ibang tao. Wala naman silang pakelam kung mabunggo ka. They're having fun kaya enjoy enjoy lang sila.
Lexus' ex brought me her girl friends, pinakilala naman niya ako sa kanila. They were in shock to see me here. Mas may ibubuga pa daw ako kay Lexus. Hindi ko rin maintindihan iyong sinasabi nila dahil mas nangingibabaw 'yong music sa paligid. She's giving a glass of I don't know kung anong alak iyon, may nilagay siyang maliit na pill doon and I don't have a choice to drink it up because they were chanting my name. The sour taste cringe on my throat. And then a moment, they were dancing to these guys, whom I didn't even know.
I asked her if she saw my brother but she didn't.
This is what I came for, to have friends... I guess, this maybe a start.
An hour passed and I feel something on me. Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari, siguro sa nainom kong alak lang iyon. But I'm happy, I'm making new friends. Until, there were some fights going somewhere and when they were saying my brother's name, I got caught up. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko.
Nang susubukan ko namang hanapin si Lexus, his ex stopped me.
"You know what, your brother is shit as fuck." I feel so stupid when she said those words.
Nakatayo na lang din, hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. I'm shaking. Pinilit ko namang mapunta sa sulok na table pero hindi ko na mapigilan ang sarili ko.
Panic attack. I know I can calm myself pero hindi sa ganitong environment. Hindi ko makuha ang konsentrasyon ng sarili ko. Hindi ko mahabol ang hininga ko. Just like when I needed Lexus, he's gone kicking some guy's ass.
I tried to reach my phone and keep myself calm but my phone dropped nowhere, and I can't find it 'cause of the darkness. The only thing that I have right now is myself, hugging myself, keeping myself intact. I can handle myself, that's a joke.
Really, I can't.
"Hey, hey, what's happening to you?" some unknown guy came into me but I can't look into his face, but so can I, the lights are dimmed. "Are you having panic attack?"
I nodded, seemingly, he gets it. He found my cellphone under my chair, but he's asking me what to do. And I can't compose myself to talk because of my panic attack.
And a moment later, something kick me off, I blanked out.
And when I woke up, I am in someone else's car. How did I get here? I looked the person beside me, and so I found this guy, sleeping. Who is this guy? Nang aabutin ko sana siya ay bigla na lang din itong nagising, his eyes were sleepy that I didn't recognize who it was but then...
"You're awake," he smiles, "do you feel fine now?"
I nod, "I remember you..."
He chuckles, "and so I thought you're no one but you're her..."
"Me?" I asked. I shook my head, "what did you do to me? Where's my brother?"
"I don't know whose you're brother, you got a panic attack last night, that's why I got you here and I didn't do anything else, I swear!"
"Then why didn't you take me to the hospital?!"
"I'm... drunk, I can't drive."
I just look at him, he's familiar but I don't know when or how... "Whatever, siguro hindi na naman ngayon diba? Take me to this place." Saka ko binigay sa kanya 'yong address sa bahay namin. "And drive safely..."
He laughed, "okay..."
While he's driving, I just realized, I just talk to some stranger. Or maybe not? When he dropped me off, he says my again but I ignore him. I don't know what it comes to me at tuloy tuloy lang din ako sa bahay. That moment, for some minutes, nagawa kong makipag-usap sa ibang tao... or maybe it's just the alcohol.
And they will not be happy if I told them I got panic attack... again.