trigger warning!: anxiety/ panic attacks.
❝TROUBLE.❞
His lips meet mine once again but this time I pulled away.
"Archer." I breathed out and he frowned as his expression morphed into one of worry. "W-won't you get in trouble?" I stuttered, still flustered over being kissed like that in public.
He chuckled, "Let me worry about that." He said as he squeezed my hips. With a swift motion, he carried me onto his desk where I sat on a bunch of papers.
I gasped as he took me off guard. He spread my legs and my skirt rides higher as he stands between my legs. He pressed his lips onto mine once more, but this time it was different, a little desperate. "Wait," I pull away again and he groans, resting his forehead on mine.
"You're killing me, Red." He lets out lowly.
"You wanted to tell me something. About the seesaw theory?" I ask and that look of doubt flashes over his face for a brief second.
"It doesn't matter now," he averts his gaze and confusion hits me.
"What do you mean?"
"That doesn't matter right now. Only you do." His gaze flickers back to me, dark eyes staring right into mine. He brushes his lips against mine, slow and tentative. "Only us."
And that's when I decide to stop talking, bringing my mouth to his. What first started off as a slow, sweet kiss, turns deeper, hungrier the moment he slips his tongue between my lips, tasting me.
There was a certain sense of urgency as he pushed himself against me. My back's resting against the desk now, the piles of paper under me. I squirmed slightly, trying to get in a comfortable position as I kissed him back but the edges of the papers kept stabbing into my back.
Frustrated, I arched my back and pushed out the papers beneath me with my free hand, not caring about the mess I was creating.
Using this opportunity, Archer's kisses travelled lower to my well exposed neck. He nibbled onto my skin right before lightly licking it.
My breath hitched, a rush of adrenaline sweeping through my body as I gripped onto his dress shirt firmly with my right hand. The other made its way to his hair where I ran through it, the silky strands brushing against my fingers gently.
He sneaks a hand under my top, his warm fingers burning against my bare skin. His other hand was positioned right next to my head, against the desk holding most of his weight so that he didn't crush me against the mahogany.
He rolls his hips, pressing against me and a breathy moan escapes my lips. Archer groans in response, gripping onto me a little tighter as his mouth found mine.
He thrusts his hips again, wringing out another gasp from me. "Fuck, I love that sound." He growls, his lips brushing against mine with every word. "You have no idea how much I thought of getting between your pretty thighs during class."
The heat from his words shoot straight through me, right to my core.
He slides a hand up my thigh, the other still firmly gripped onto my waist as he shifts the material of my panties.
His fingers find the spot that drives me insane and he rubs fast circles against the little bundle of nerves. His mouth drinks in my moans as he crushes his lips to mine.
The hand under my top grazes over the thin silk material of my bra and my nipples pucker under his touch. I whimper when he catches the hardened peak between his fingers, pinching lightly. Then, he runs his thumb in circles over the tip of my breast, matching the motion with his fingers under my skirt.
My hands slip down from his hair, to his chiselled chest and then to the band of his pants. "Archer-" I tug against him and the thought of getting caught flashes through my head.
It doesn't last long though as Archer's already easing himself out of his jeans. He leans over his desk, his chest flush against mine as he rocks his hips, pushing himself inside me.
The doubts roll out of my head as soon as he begins to rolls his hips, thrusting into me. The size of him and the feel of our skin against skin's overwhelming but in the most blissful way.
"That feels so good," I gasp, gripping onto his broad shoulders and his thrusts get faster, harder.
"Red," he groans, his arms at the side of my head begin shaking.
"Don't stop," my voice is a soft whisper as I lift my hips, meeting his hips with each thrust, taking him deeper. He brings his lips to mine, kissing me deep.
I don't know what it was about him having to take me right here on the table that has me going wild. It was almost like he couldn't resist it and it felt good knowing that this wasn't just one-sided.
I could feel the familiar tightness coil in my core and I can tell he's close too with the way his chest is heaving against mine and how his thrusts are getting harder and sloppier.
My back arches as the first wave of shudders overcome me, his name the only thing I'm capable of saying. Archer begins to pull out but I wrap my legs around his waist, keeping him still and inside me.
He realises what I want and his eyes look to mine, questioningly. "I'm on the pill," I assure him and it's like that's enough because he thrusts, once, twice and then he's collapsing onto me.
After our breathing finally stabilises, he pulls away with a kiss on my forehead. He takes a few pieces of tissue from his desk, cleaning us up before sitting me up on the desk. I'm sure the satisfied smile he's wearing is only mirrored on my own as he leans brings his mouth to mine.
He kisses me softly, "well-"
At that moment we hear the door swing open.
"Ar-" Jace walks through the door, his steps faltering. "-cher," He dropped the books that were in his hands as he stared at us, shock palpable in his wide eyes.
Archer and I instantly pull away from each other. I hopped off the desk hastily, brushing down my clothes while Archer buttoned up his pants right before running his fingers through his hair, trying his best to tame the dishevelled strands.
My face was boiling with embarrassment at this point while I heard Archer let out a tiny chuckle. I looked up at him and noticed how he was staring at the ground. I took a glance and noticed the mess I made of the papers. My head instantly darts back up to meet Jace's gaze as he remained silent.
"JP," Archer finally peeped and Jace snaps out of his momentary shock.
"Don't JP me!" He scowled, looking at the both of us. "I told you specifically to leave her alone." Jace rubbed his temples as though trying to soothe the tension.
I shifted my gaze to Archer who shrugs a shoulder, wearing a sheepish smile. "and I told you I wouldn't be able to help myself."
"I should go." I let out as I tried to walk away, not wanting to get between them.
"No, no, no." Jace shook his head, walking towards us. "So is this a thing now?" he waved his fingers to and fro between Archer and I.
"Yes." Archer let out confidently right before leaning back onto his desk triumphantly as though he had just won an award.
I wore a blank expression as I stared at him, not sure how to respond. I felt my heart beat violently against my chest and I was convinced that even he could hear it.
So much for keeping this a secret.
"Ugh." Jace groaned. He raised his hands, "I saw nothing." And with a shrug, he picked his books up and left it on the untidy desk.
"Help me bring these back home." With that, he left the room leaving Archer and me alone.
He turned to face me, grinning bashfully as his ears were flushed red. "So," He started and I smiled instantly.
"So," I repeated after him as he was taking a long time to form his sentence.
Before he could continue my phone started ringing and I jumped. I heard him chuckle under his breath at my reaction. I smacked his taut stomach lightly as I clicked my tongue.
I slid my hand into my back pocket and took out my phone, only to see my Jax's caller id. My eyes light up when I remember that I had told Riley to come over but I feel it dimming at Jax's name. Why was he calling me instead of Riley?
"You okay?" Archer asked, his hand reaching the small of my back as his brows furrowed.
"Yeah," I shook my head. "Give me a second," I answered it, pressing my phone to my ear.
"Hey," I start and was instantly bombarded with words from Jax. I don't know why but my eyes snap to Archer's, "Jax, slow down. What's wrong?" I ask and Archer's expression drops.
"We were on the way to come see you but this truck came out of nowhere," his words are hurried and he sniffles like he's crying. Out of the 7 years of knowing him, I've never once seen him cry.
Something's wrong.
"A truck? What?" I ask. Archer's grip on me tightens and a low curse leaves his lips the moment he hears my words. "Where are you guys? Are you okay?"
"We were coming down from Route 9 and he came up behind us so Riley tried moving out of the way but he hit us and we lost control of the car," Jax was rambling at this point and I hear a voice from behind him.
"Sir, please calm down. Let us take a look at your arm."
He was still at the crash site?
"Don't touch me!" Jax yells and I flinch. My eyes go back to Archer who seems to understand the situation even before I do. His hands thrust into his hair, messing up the already tousled mess.
"Jax, hey, listen to me. Call me later, okay? Get yourself checked before-"
"You don't get it. He's gone, Red." He says and my world stops.
"What?"
"Riley's dead."
I felt my entire world crumble at his words and my limbs went limp.
My phone dropped to the ground with a crack and I fell on my knees, palms on the ground trying to support my weight
"Red!" Archer's voice yelled out from behind as he scoops me to him.
I closed my eyes, trying my best to breathe and to escape reality for a little. The blackness that embraced me was my safe space somehow.
I didn't have to face reality in that second but I knew the moment I opened them, reality would stab me right in the heart.
I breathed,
and breathed,
and breathed. But I couldn't feel the oxygen pass through my lungs. Instead with each breath I took, I felt a sharp pain go through my chest as though my own body was punishing me for breathing.
I tried catching my breath, as everything and everyone around me drowned out, but I failed miserably.
My breathing became shallower and more rapid as my head started feeling light. And soon, I was gasping.
I felt my fingertips start tingling, becoming numb to the touch as pain coursed through my body. Slowly, the tingling travels up my arms as my fingers curl into a fist unintentionally, my nails digging into the palm of my hands.
My chest was on fire as my eyes gave up on me, black creeping up my vision. My neck went weak, head falling onto the nearest thing. I couldn't even tell what it was. I hear Archer's voice but faintly.
My thoughts were screaming at me yet I couldn't hear a thing.
Riley's dead. Those were the only words circling my head and I heave. I think I'm crying with the way my body shakes but I can't tell.
I had no control over my mind or body at this point as all my senses failed me.
I was having a panic attack.
...
A/N: Anxiety sucks, if you're dealing with it, I get it. Stay strong, the world's not
over, trust me. Everything will fall
into place soon, just keep pushing.
Don't give up, please.You're not alone and you never are. Things will get better,
just wait.
Please talk to someone if you are going through it. Trust me, it really helps.You don't have to go through this alone.