OLIVIA'S POV
"How's Harry? Is he doing any better this week?" Bec asks as we sit at her kitchen table.
"I wish," I close my eyes trying to stop the exhaustion I feel from getting the best of me as I sip my tea that is still far too hot.
"I just don't know how to help him, Bec. It's been months and he is just slipping further and further into this black hole. He stormed out on his management the other week just leaving them sitting there in the living room."
"Like he did when Frankie and I came over?" Bec asks reminding me of the episode last week where Harry had become so irrationally angry when Bec had suggested he see her naturopath for some relaxation remedies. I was surprised he didn't flip the coffee table over as he stomped out of the room in fury.
"Yes, exactly." I cringe, "he barely speaks to me, unless it's to complain or yell about something and Xander or Frankie said he is acting the same way with them. I just don't know what to do anymore. It's as if he has just completely lost control. At least he got out of bed and went to the gym this morning." I sigh, rubbing my temples to try and calm my thoughts.
"Maybe it's time Liv? To kiss him? To give him something to be positive about?" Bec suggests.
"I've thought about it, Bec, so much. I would do anything to pull him out of this sea he is drowning in, but honestly I don't believe it would help right now. He's so angry, so closed off, I think he would throw it in my face and ruin any chance we would ever have at being together in the future. I can't use it as a band-aid fix for what he is going through right now." I admit.
"I just feel like this is going to get much worse before it gets better and I am trying to hang on for him but he's slipping further out of reach every day."
I stare into my tea cup, not wanting to see the despair in Bec's eyes that I know are a mirror of mine.
"He'll be ok Liv, we are all here for him and you are doing the best you can." She says reaching over to rub the back of my hand.
"He pulled me out of what I went through with Dan so quickly, he made me smile and laugh, he was my refuge, my safe haven. I just want to be able to do that for him." I confess.
"Honey, I think this is darker than heartbreak." She says so cautiously it makes me shiver.
"I think so too." I whisper into my tea.
My thoughts of how I could kidnap Harry and take him to a deserted island, just the two of us, where no one can pressure him or push him or stress him out are interrupted by Bec grabbing her ringing phone off the table with so much urgency she nearly knocks our cups over.
"I'll be right back," she yells as she rushes into her bedroom and closes the door.
"What the hell was that!" I smirk as she stalks back into the room looking sheepish, clearly having majorly overreacted to whatever just happened.
"Well, I didn't want to tell you because I know you're dealing with a lot right now but, I kinda, met someone." She trails off, looking at the floor.
"What!" I laugh, never having seen my sister act this coy before.
"Stop laughing at me!" She giggles back.
"Who is he, tell me everything!"
"Well, he's name is Nathan," she grins, "He's a personal trainer, I met him at my gym last month. He is so cute Liv and fit as! And oh my god, it's the best sex I've ever had in my life!" She exclaims relieved to finally be talking about it.
"Bec! You've already slept with him and didn't tell me about it!" I gasp in mock shock, so happy to be talking about something exciting for a change.
"I've seen him almost every day for three weeks." She confesses covering her eyes. "I think he's like.. my boyfriend." She laughs into her hands and I join her.
"When do I get to meet this sex god?" I joke.
"I don't know, maybe we can get dinner sometime next week? Frankie and the boys too, if Harry is up to it? Less pressure if there's more people to talk to."
"I can't wait!" I scream and she is smiling brighter than I have ever seen her smile before.
The sun was shining when I left Bec's later that afternoon and instead of calling one of Harry's drivers, who he insists I use instead of cabs, I decide the walk home could do my body and mind some good.
I put my hands in my coat pockets as I start to stroll in the direction of Harry's house. This is my favourite time of year and I tilt my head back as I feel the crisp spring air and the sun warming my face.
It's been a year this month since Harry ran into me at the little health food place in Paris and I can't help but shake my head at how completely different my life has become since then.
I turn a corner and walk past a news stand, glancing over the covers of the glossy magazines and stop dead in my tracks as I see Harry gracing one of the covers.
The picture is of Harry coming out of a nightclub, clearly drunk or high or both and distressed from the cameras flashing in his face. His pupils are dilated and eyes are glassy, one of his hands runs through his hair while the other is intertwined with a blonde women's who is covering her face. Although I hate these kinds of photos of him it's the headline that has me stunned.
SEX, DRUGS & NO ROCK 'N ROLL:
The party might be over for Harry Styles as he struggles to create new music
(and his record label are not happy!)
I pull my phone out and scroll through the list of saved numbers, walking on quickly and hitting the call button.
"John!" I shout before anyone can say hello.
"Sorry, John is currently in a meeting this is his assistant Adriana, can I help you?"
"Oh hi Adriana, it's Olivia Bailey, Harry's.. um.. housemate.. have you seen the cover of The Empire magazine?" I rush breathlessly.
"Olivia, heyyyyy. How's Harry doing? Yes, we have seen it." She says calmly.
"Harry can't see this," I tell her. "He's already not in a great state of mind and this kind of rubbish won't do him any good. How would they know this stuff anyway, would someone have said something?"
"No, unfortunately things like this just happen. Who knows, someone from the record company may have let something slip or they may have heard about pushing back the studio date and speculated the story. Sometimes they get it right and sometimes they don't." She explains.
"Ok, well please try and keep Harry out of the media for a while," I beg.
"Of course, his health and getting him back in the studio is our top priority." She promises.
"Thanks," I blurt out before hanging up and calling a driver to take me home, I can't shake this horrible feeling and I need to get to Harry as quickly as possible.
I run through the door to find Harry sitting cross legged on the floor with his guitar in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other.
"Harry, are you ok?" I ask cautiously as I stalk towards him. He is in an old faded grey t-shirt and a pair of running shorts and I wonder if he has been like this since he got back from the gym this morning.
"OH-Livia" he slurs, attempting to put the bottle on the coffee table but hitting the base of it against the side of the timber top before steadying it in place.
"Harry, why are you drinking? It's half four in the afternoon." I gaze at him trying to read any reaction I can for hints or signals he might accidentally give me in his inebriated state that I can use to help him through this period in his life.
"Why the fuck not?" He raises his eyebrows and picks the bottle back up, bringing it to his lips as I hold my breath. He takes a long swig and drops his grip on his guitar, letting in fall to the floor with a clang as he reaches for something next to him.
"Better drink up Liv, didn't you hear? The party's over, Toots." He waves a copy of The Empire in his outstretched arm towards me.
I take a sharp breath in and notice the "A1 Global Fitness" sticker on the front of the magazine. My heart breaks for him as I imagine his pained face seeing it at the gym and taking it before coming home to drown his snowballing sorrows.
"You know that stuff is rubbish Harry, it's just mindless gossip." I tell him as I walk closer towards him and try to take it out of his hands but he throws it across the room before I get a chance, making me jump at the sudden outburst.
"Except they're fucking right this time!" He snaps before taking another swig from the bottle in his hand.
"No, they're not Harry, can I please have the bottle?" I gently plead.
"You should have fucked me when you had the chance, baby," He snickers.
"'cause soon, when all this is gone," he whirls his hand in the air, vodka flies out of the bottle before he slams it on to the table, "all this effort you've been putting into fulfilling your bad boy, rockstar fantasy would have gone to waste."
The look in his eyes makes me take a step back, his mouth is curled up into a smirk that looks more like a snarl and his green eyes flicker with condescension and bitterness.
My body wants to keep stepping backwards, to tell him he is arsehole and run out the door crying but I know that's exactly what he's trying to achieve and I am not going to let him push me away, right when he needs me the most.
"You don't believe that," I say calmly, taking a step towards him. "Because you know that's not true, Harry. I love you, regardless of your money or your job and you know that. You know and I know, remember?"
He takes a couple of breaths before his eyes flick to the bottle on the table. He reaches an arm up to grab it but the alcohol in his blood makes him slow and I snatch the bottle away from him.
"It's a trashy magazine Harry, it doesn't mean anything." I try to distract him from taking it out of my hand.
"It means everything!" He screams at me, getting to his feet and stumbling.
"This is what they fucking do! They build people up just so they can tear them down! It's too much to deal with Liv, ok? I can't fucking take it!" He gasps for air and runs his hand through his hair before pushing past me and heading for the front door.
"Harry!" I yell putting the bottle down and running after him.
"You can't go out there," I tell him, grabbing his arm and turning him towards me.
"It's broad daylight and you're drunk, please don't go out there and give them more shit to write about." I beg him thinking about the photographers that are always floating around our home.
"I don't give a fuck," he slurs, yanking his arm away and reaching for the door handle.
"Baby, please! Please, don't go out there!" I plead desperately, grabbing his arm again.
Even in his intoxicated state, me using that term of endearment for the first time stops him in his tracks and he turns to look into my eyes.
I use his moment of clarity to my advantage and take his hands in mine.
"Harry, I need you to stay in here with me. Please."
I hear him swallow and he nods his head so slightly I don't know if I dreamt it but he allows me to guide him back into the living room where I sit him on the couch.
I take the bottle of vodka and pour it down the sink before filling a glass with water.
"Here, drink this," I say gently to the broken man sitting in front of me, his eyes are so lost all I want to do is kiss him and hold him and tell him everything will be ok.
He drinks it in quick gulps before he lays down and I place a blanket over him as a false sense of comfort and protection from the world.
I kneel down beside his head and brush his hair back.
"I'm a has-been, Liv and a fucking failure." He whispers, looking at the ceiling.
"Harry, don't say that. You're not failing, you're just going through a rough patch. You are the most amazing man I've ever met, you're kind and humble regardless of your supreme talent and I'm in awe of you, every single day."
He scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest looking away from me.
"I think you're brilliant and you should believe you are too." I tell him softly and when his head snaps towards mine he looks like he has seen a ghost.
A/N: Hey guys! How's everyone doing today? POOR HARRY! :( Must be so much pressure to have to deal with! Love reading all your comments and don't forget to vote!
LOVE YOU
RS