OLIVIA'S POV
JANUARY
I throw the sheets off my body in a huff. I've been tossing and turning for the last three hours. I can't get to sleep and it's slowly driving me insane.
I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm so tense that I can't relax and the frustration of not being able to sleep is only making it worse.
I rack my brain trying to work out what is causing my temporary insomnia but I come up short every time.
Work is going really well and although the Christmas period was really busy we had handled the influx of customers professionally and efficiently and I loved being part of the close knit team.
I had decided not to see Craig again after he disappeared that night at Xander's Christmas Party and I had been on a couple of other dates with non-interesting guys since then but nothing ever eventuated more than first dates.
Harry and I were juggling our weird relationship the best we could. He didn't ask about the dates I went on and I didn't ask about where he had been when he came home the next morning after being "out" all night.
Bec? My parents? Emma? Frankie? Xander? Will? Nothing was causing the irritation I feel.
I groan and pull myself out of bed, shivering slightly at the cold air on my skin, exposed from wearing just a tank top and pyjama bottoms.
My door creaks and I tiptoe into the kitchen to get a glass of water.
On the way back to my room I stop outside of Harry's door, maybe if we cuddle a little I'll be able to fall asleep.
I crack open his door and step inside.
"Harry? Are you awake?" I whisper into the darkness.
"Mhm," he grumbles and I walk over to the bed and climb in next to him.
He pulls me into him with one strong arm, spooning me with his warm body and I already feel more relaxed as he hums sleepily against my hair.
"Are you ok?" He croaks. I love his voice when he's been sleeping, it's so raspy and deep, it sounds like gravel and sticky toffee mixed together.
"I can't sleep," I tell him.
"How come? Are you stressed about work?" he whispers.
"No, it's not that, I dunno, I'm just wound up and tense for no reason!" I say getting annoyed just thinking about it.
He laughs softly into my shoulder and his warm breath sends tingles up my spine.
"A little sexually frustrated, baby?"
My eyes widen in the darkness as I realise that is exactly what is it. Although I had slept with Craig once, my body had been adjusting over the last seven months of not having the regular sex I was used to for the past five years I was with Dan. Harry swanning around the house without his shirt on and in his low slung, black skinny jeans really doesn't defuse the situation either.
"Do you want me to help you?" His tone is dark and deadly serious.
I squeeze my eyes closed and huff in frustration and I know he can tell I'm shaking my head.
"I'm being serious," He purrs, leaning up onto his elbow and resting his head on his hand as he leans forward to press his lips to my ear. "Just with my hand baby, let me take the edge off."
My core clenches as his hand squeezes my hip and it's so deprived that instead of feeling like warm electricity, it actually hurts.
I think about his hands on me, in me and I let out a shaky breath as I shake my head again.
"I would feel like I'm using you" I confess.
"Ok," he chuckles, "then use your hand and I'll talk you through it."
I'm grateful the room is dark enough as my face heats up and I throw my hands over it instinctively.
"What! Harry, no, that's so embarrassing!"
"No, it's not darling," he says, pulling my hands away.
"Come on, I'll do it with you if you want."
I turn to look back at him over my shoulder, his face is shadowed but I can tell it's serious and no amount of darkness could stop me from seeing his green eyes burning into mine with lust.
"Turn around and close your eyes." He demands. "I'll lie on my back, I won't watch you, Ok?"
I know I must be desperate when I find myself doing what he says and hear him hum a "good girl" into my ear before I feel him lie back onto the bed.
"Do you touch yourself often?" He asks gently to my back and I shake my head.
"Just sometimes," I squeak.
"Do you ever think of me?"
"Yes. Every time," I whisper, my heart stops and I hold my breath as I hear him swallow hard.
"I think about you too. Breathe Liv, don't pass out on me. If you want to stop just tell me."
I nervously laugh and try not to think about what I'm about to do.
"Match your breathing to mine, darling. That's it, good girl."
"I want you to run your hand along your stomach under your shirt, feel how warm your skin is. Move your hand higher up and feel your breast and give it a squeeze for me," he purrs and I follow his every word.
"Think about my hands on you, Liv. Think about me kissing your neck and running my tongue down it. Feel how hard your nipples are and imagine me licking them, sucking them into my mouth."
I feel the bed shuffle as he pulls his underwear down and my breathing is increasing rapidly.
"Are you starting to get wet for me, baby?"
"Yes," I stutter, my core is soaking my underwear just from the sound of his voice and his dirty mouth.
"Feel how wet you are." He commands and I run my shaking hand under the band of my underwear and feel my arousal coating my folds.
"Tell me, Liv." He instructs and my heart pounds in my chest when I hear him start to stroke himself.
"I'm so wet for you, Harry."
The groan that leaves his mouth is almost enough to make me come and I hear him draw in a shaky breath.
"Fuck, I dream about you saying that to me. I dream about running my fingers over you, pressing little circles into your most sensitive point with my thumb, over and over." He breathes heavily and I moan as my hand reenacts his thoughts.
"I'm so hard for you, Liv. Slip your fingers inside for me, darling, imagine they are my cock entering you, stretching your muscles, burying deep inside you."
We both groan into the darkness as we fuck our hands faster to the thought of each other.
"Imagine the weight of my body on top of yours, moving in and out of you, kissing you're lips, telling you how much I love you." He mewls before dramatically switching gears.
"I bet you have the tightest little cunt." He growls and I let out a whimper as my core clenches around my fingers that are stroking my front wall.
"Mmm, you love my filthy mouth don't you baby?" he pants and I can hear the smile in his voice.
I'm spiralling out of control, my head is spinning and the fire building in my lower stomach is taking over my body.
I can't stop how hard I'm panting as I hear Harry rush, "You're not going to come until I say so, ok Liv? That's it, good girl, keep going. Tell me how it feels Liv."
"It feels so good Harry, I can't- please.." I gasp trying to hold on as my body begs for release.
"Let go for me baby, come for me Liv." He demands and the rope that was holding on to my consciousness snaps. I am drowning in waves of pleasure and I scream out Harry's name as my orgasm crashes through me with a force so strong I am left trembling and gasping for air.
"Oh my god, I'm so fucking c-close" I hear him say before he is praising my name and jolting on the bed next to me.
The only noise in the house is our heavy breathing, coming down from our highs and the panic and embarrassment is starting to creep in to my mind as the seconds pass.
I hear Harry get a tissue from his nightstand to clean himself up and I wish the bed would fall into a sudden sinkhole when he pulls his underwear up and turns on his lamp.
"Olivia, don't you dare over think this." He warns sitting at the edge of the bed as I squeeze my eyes closed in the hope I develop teleportation in that moment.
He lies back on the bed and pulls my back into his chest.
"Don't be embarrassed. That was so fucking hot. God I can't wait to see what you look like when you come. Imagine how mind blowing it's going to be when I actually fuck you." He purrs still trying to slow his breathing.
"Harry?" I croak.
"Yeah?" He looks up to see me tug my earlobe.
"I know, Liv." He smiles kissing my shoulder. "Do you know?"
"I know." I whisper.
We lie together, the lamp still on and neither of us attempting to sleep as if it may wash away the memory of what just happened.
"Would you rather wear clothes you hate everyday or eat food you don't like forever?" I say after a while, continuing the never ending game of hypothetical questions we've played since the day we met.
"Ohhh good one! I'd rather eat shitty food. I need to look good, baby!" He jokes making me giggle and breaking any awkwardness that was left hanging in the air.
"Harry, can I talk to you about something?"
"Anything."
"Well, when we decide to be together, I'm worried that, well.." I struggle to get my thoughts in order.
"Just say it love, whatever it is, it's ok."
I take a deep breath in and sit up to face him.
"Well, I'm scared about the bad things people will say. I see what people write about the women you are with and it's so awful. And they are some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen! I don't know if I could deal with that." I tell him honestly.
He sighs and places his hand on my legs crossed in front of me.
"Honestly, I'm worried about that too. I know how much you hate attention but there are ways around it, love. You know how important my privacy is to me but no matter who I'm with or what we do we will never be able to escape the media or public scrutiny and if I could keep you protected from it forever I would."
He runs a hand through his hair before continuing, "I know it's a sacrifice and I know it's not something you are comfortable with. I'm scared of losing you because of it but it's part of my job and my life."
"I know it is," I say placing my hands on his, "and you know how proud of you I am. I think the way you handle everything is a testament to the man you are. You're worth the sacrifice Harry, but I will need to have boundaries. And if it's not the relationship that you want then you need to be honest with me."
"Olivia, all that shit means nothing to me," He says sitting up. "So whatever you are comfortable with then that's ok with me. If you don't want to walk red carpets or go to certain parties or even hold my hand in public, that's fine. Hell, we can take seperate cars everywhere we go if you want, I can live with that. As long as at the end of the day I can come home to you and you are happy, that's all that matters."
My eyes well with tears at how understanding and considerate the man in front of me is.
"Thank you." I whisper and he leans in and kisses my cheek.
"Can I ask you one more thing?" I smile and his eyes sparkle as he smiles back.
"Anything, darling."
"What's your infinity symbol tattoo mean?"
He lets out a loud cackle before reaching for the lamp.
"Good night, Liv." I hear him chuckle in the dark as I huff and lie down next to him, sleep finally taking over my now relaxed body.
A/N: ENJOY! Hope this little smut-fest ties your dirty minds over for now! HAHA!