Ok, hold up . . what the hell? what am I doing in the guest bedroom? . . I don't remember getting up and coming in here! . . I fell asleep in my freakin' bed . . I am sure of that!
"Where are you going Mike?" Chris asks. I give him a look. "I'm going back to my bed, where the hell do you think I'm going?!"
"You can stay here, I don't mind . . ."
"But I DO mind, ok? . . I don't even know how I got in here! . . what the hell did we do in this bed, Chris?" I ask in all seriousness. Chris laughs. "We had sex" I grab him by his shirt. "What?!"
"I'm kidding! . . nothing happened, relax!"
I let go of him and apologize for grabbing him like that. Then I make my way back to my bedroom. Was I sleepwalking? . . I get back in my bed and fall asleep shortly after.
The next morning I wake up feeling awfully tired. Looks like I didn't get much sleep after all. I take a shower and get dressed for school. I can hear Chris downstairs talking to my mother. She sounds happy. She's been feeling lonely lately because dad isn't here anymore . . she's such a great mom. I love her for putting me first.
Even though I miss dad terribly . . and I know she does, too.
I walk downstairs . . mom and Chris look at me.
"Do you want toast with scrambled eggs, honey?" Mom asks. "No, thank you . . I'm not hungry . . Chris, I think we're late for school" Mom looks at the clock. "You guys have at least 15 minutes to spare, Michael . . no rush . . sit down and eat your breakfast"
"I can't . . we're late!" I say, grabbing Chris by his shirt. "Bye Mrs. Jackson"
"Bye, you two! have a great day at school!" I lock the door and walk down the doorstep. "Why are you so angry?" Chris asks. I refuse to look at him. "Hello? . . earth to Michael?"
"Shut up . . ok? . . you're totally irritating me, Chris!"
"I'm irritating you?"
"Yes! . . yes, you are! . . I can't stop thinking about yesterday! I can't wrap my head around how I woke up next to you in the guest bedroom! . . you're confusing me, ok?!"
"Dude, relax . . I didn't do anything wrong . . you told me to sleep in your guest bedroom . . so I did . . you coming over and sleeping next to me was all you, dude . . I had nothing to do with it"
"Are you fucking sure?!"
"Hey, I'm positive! . . believe me, I was surprised, too . . . you look cute today, by the way . . I like that shirt on you, Mike"
"Thanks . . . now stop looking at me!"
"Sorry . . ."
We stop at the gas station . . I get myself a bottle of coke. Chris grabs a bottle of sprite, we pay for it and make our way to school. I look over at him. Chris takes a sip from his bottle and wipes his mouth on his sleeve. He notices me looking at him. "You alright?" He asks.
"Yea . . yea, I'm good"
We arrive at school just in time for a little basketball game before school starts. Jordyn is sitting by the ping pong table, reading a book. Enrico, Chris and I start playing. A few minutes into the game Enrico jumps so high, he loses balance and accidentally punches me in my chest with his elbow. I flinch and take a step back. "Ahh, fuck"
Chris come up from behind me, grabbing Enrico by his shirt. "WHAT THE FUCK?! CAN'T YOU BE MORE CAREFUL? you just freakin' punched Michael in his chest!"
"Woaah . . Chris . . relax! . . I didn't do it on purpose!"
"Want me to punch you in the face? I swear, it's not gonna be on purpose!!!"
"CHRIS!" I yell, "he didn't mean to hurt me, will you relax?!"
"Pff . . whatever!" Chris says, grabbing his backpack and walking away. I roll my eyes at his stupid, childish behavior and take a seat on the bench right behind me. I'm not really in the mood to play anyway.
"Jackson"
I look up at Enrico.
"What's the matter with Chris, though?"
"I don't know . . never mind . . ok?"
~ Jordyn's point of view ~
I just saw Chris leaving Michael by the basketball court . . he doesn't look very happy. I get up and make my way over to Michael. He smiles, watching me walk up to him. "Good morning" He greets me sweetly, kissing me on the cheek. I can't help but blush.
"Morning, Michael . . you look awfully cute in that shirt"
He smiles. "Thank you"
The morning hours go by fast, thankfully. It's already lunch time. I don't know if I'm eating by myself or if Michael is going to eat with me . . I will just grab my lunch and take a seat by the ping pong table . . if Michael wants to eat with me, he will join me here on his own. I sit down and start eating my sandwich.
I can see from here that Chris and Michael are talking to each other, standing by the school entrance. I wonder what they're talking about. Now they're coming over here. Michael takes a seat on the ping pong table . . Chris takes a seat across from him . . also on the ping pong table.
I'm not gonna lie . . this feels a tad bit awkward to me.
The way he looks at Michael . . it makes me feel very uncomfortable. Some of Michael's other friends are coming, too . . they all take a seat on the ping pong table . . some of them sit down on the benches next to mine.
This feels incredibly awkward. I don't feel comfortable being around so many people. People who usually laugh at me when I walk passed them. The only nice person here is Michael.
I get up and walk up to him. "Can-can we go someplace else?" I ask, hoping he'll agree. But he just looks at me with a confused look on his face. "I really enjoy sitting here . . we're in the shade and it's comfortable here . . why do you wanna leave, Jordyn?"
I look around . . everybody is now looking at me.
Great.
Now I feel even more uncomfortable.
"Never mind . . I'll just . . I'll just go back inside, I have tons of homework to do" I say, quickly turning away and walking towards the school entrance. I can hear some of them giggling . . I know they're giggling at me.
_______________________
After school I wait by the school entrance for Michael to come but he's taking an awful long time to come out of the classroom. I hope he's walking home with me . . and not with Chris.
I look at my watch.
I've been standing here for about 20 minutes now . . what's taking Michael so long? I take a seat on the bench next to the school entrance. A few minutes later Michael comes walking out . . with Chris . . of course.
"Michael!"
He stops and looks at me. "Oh, Jordyn! . . were you waiting here all this time?"
"Yes . . I was . . I was waiting for you so we can walk home together"
"Well . . let's walk home together then . . thank you for waiting!" Michael says, gently kissing me on my cheek . . and of course Chris is right next to him . . I'm starting to hate him more and more each day . . I want to be alone with Michael.
I wouldn't feel this way if Chris were just a friend of Michael's . . but he's in love with him . . I just cannot deal with that. I can't deal with that at all. I feel like I'm competing against someone.
We stop at the park. Chris and Enrico are standing right next to Michael and I . . looks like I won't be getting a kiss goodbye. Too bad. "Goodbye, Michael . . I see you at school tomorrow"
"Goodbye, Jordyn . . thanks for waiting for me after school"
"You're welcome . . ."
I walk up my doorstep but I decide to stay out here for a little longer. I'm watching them walk away . . Chris on the left and Enrico on the right and Michael in the middle. I would love to just stay outside with Michael . . . just him and I.
With a sad look on my face I walk inside and rush upstairs to my bedroom. I open my window and look outside. I can see the park from here . . and to my surprise, Michael, Chris and Enrico are still out there on the grass, being silly, throwing stuff at each other.
Now Enrico is leaving . . they just did their famous handshake. Now it's only Chris and Michael. Great. THIS I definitely don't wanna watch. I was just about to close the window, when all of a sudden I can see from here that Chris just put his arm around Michael . . and Michael pushes him away.
~ Chris' point of view ~
I throw a bunch of grass in Michael's face.
"Will you stop it, Chris?"
I laugh. "Sorry . . . are you still mad at me?"
"I'm not mad at you, Chris . . I'm just confused, that's all"
"Confused about what?"
"Confused . . . with you! . . ."
I can't help but laugh at the expression on his face. I look around and realize that there's no one anywhere near us . . and it's slowly getting darker . . so, no worries. No one can see us. I hesitate for a moment but then I decide to do it after all.
I jump on top of Michael and pull him down on the grass. He of course fights against it and tells me to get off of him . . but I won't do that.
"Get off!"
I'm holding his hands firmly in mine . . he can't move an inch. I approach his face and give him a kiss on his forehead. "Stop it . . get off of me, will you!? this ain't happening, Chris . . I'm not joking around . . I'm serious about Jordyn and I"
"Oh, you are?"
"Yes, I am!"
"Alright . . I respect that" I say, giving Michael a kiss on his mouth.
"What the fuck, Chris?"
I lean down again, giving him a second kiss on the mouth.
"Stop kissing me!"
"Are you sure that you're serious about you and Jordyn?"
"YES!"
"Then why aren't you moving? I'm not even holding you down anymore . . come on, Michael . . face it . . you may not be in love with me but you have feelings for me"
"I don't have feelings for you, Chris . . I have feelings for Jordyn"
"Oh, yea? . . you're free to leave and yet you still sit here with me . . I kissed you without your permission and you're still here . . I think it would be a great first step for you to finally face the truth . . you have feelings for me, Michael"
. . . . .
"And even if I had feelings for you, what difference would it make?!"
"I don't know . . it could either make a huge difference or no difference at all . . the question is, which one do you choose?"
"I really like Jordyn . . and I don't want to break her heart!"
"Then why are you still here, Michael? . . why aren't you at her place right now? . . you're still sitting here, you haven't moved at all . . I don't understand you, Michael . . why are you still sitting out here with me after I just freakin' kissed you?"
"How about you shut your mouth for a minute, Chris?"
I laugh.
"Are we angry?" I ask, teasing him.
. . . . .
"I'm not sure of my feelings, ok? . . if that's what you want to hear! . . here you go! . . here you have it, Chris . . I'm not sure about my feelings, ok? . . I really, really like Jordyn . . and I also like you . . because you're my best friend"
"Michael . . let me ask you a question . . and please be honest, ok?"
"Yes . ."
"Am I more to you than just a best friend? . . do you have feelings for me?"
. . . . .
Michael is taking an awful long time to answer my question. Which pretty much answers my question. He lays down on the grass, letting out a sigh. "I don't know . . I guess all this stuff that happened between us since the school dance is still kinda in my mind . . I'm not saying I have feelings for you . . but I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel anything for you at all"
"Michael, I don't wanna ruin the thing you have with Jordyn . . but you must know that it is incredibly hard for me to keep myself at a distance . . seeing you with her rips me open . . and when I'm with you, everything else does't matter to me . . you're just so great, you know? I mean look at you . . you're my best friend . . you know me so well and I totally trust you . . your eyes are the most beautiful fucking thing in this world . . you're like . . you aren't just a star to me, Michael . . you are the whole damn sky"
To be continued . . .