Your POV
The hotel room in Vegas was nothing more than I expected. Six rickety beds, a flat-screen tv, two bathrooms and an old comfy sofa.
The guys were out locating the Noitanmad Casino whilst Alara and I were watching Titanic.
Guess where Ellie decided to stay?
At Ben's house.
With Ben.
I left a note on the fridge reminding her to use protection.
Alara scoffed at the tv. "Rose is such a fucking bitch. If that were one of our boys, they would somehow manage to get the whole gang on that plank of wood." She shook her head as she threw popcorn into her mouth.
"True," I agreed. "They've got each-others backs." I smiled.
"Which is why I don't worry about them when they go out." Alara shrugged.
"Really?" I glanced at her.
"Sure, Jason wouldn't let anything happen to someone he cares about, and he cares about everyone in his gang."
"I worry about Jason though, who's there to look after him?"
"You are." Alara didn't look at me.
"Huh?"
"Jason won't give up on anything if he's got you. Trust me, I've known the guy for two years." She said.
I pulled a blanket over me and glanced at the clock. "Yeah but... they have been gone quite a while."
"Y/n, seriously you need to chill," the corners of her lips turned up and she looked over at me. "Do you love him?"
"What?" I hated being put on the spot.
"Do you love Jason?"
I hesitated, I didn't want to accept the fact that I might well and truly be in love with America's most dangerous criminal. "I mean, I care about him."
"You're not answering my question." Alara turned back to the Tv.
"How am I supposed to know what love is?" I protested.
Alara smirked. "Do you want me to tell you?"
I gave her a hesitant nod.
She inhaled, enjoying my vulnerability.
"It's the amount of times you've checked that goddamn clock and asked yourself why he isn't back yet."
I folded my arms and pouted.
"That tells me nothing."
Alara chuckled and threw more popcorn at her face, acting so casual and calm in the gang's absence.
She wasn't worried, but I sure was.
Twenty minutes later, the hotel door opened and the gang walked in casually.
I jumped up excitedly. "Did you find the casino?"
Matt nodded. "Eventually, it was well hidden."
Alara chuckled. "Well duh, did you expect it to be in big, lit-up letters? It's a gang hideout, not a place to play poker."
"We don't need your sarcasm, Alara." Jason shrugged off his jacket and let it drop to the floor. Then he joined us on the couch, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.
He was tense and quiet.
"Did something happen out there?" I asked, resting my head on his shoulder.
"No babe, I'm just exhausted." He bit his lip and tensed even further.
Something wasn't right.
"Okay." I mumbled.
"Want to go in the other room?" Jason whispered, getting up from the sofa.
I nodded and followed him out.
"Don't do anything Jesus wouldn't do." Jake called as Jason rolled his eyes and shut the door.
I curled up on one of the beds under Jason's arm. "Can I ask you something?"
He pulled me closer. "Anything."
"Are you okay? Like, really okay?" I mumbled, Jason's behaviour had seemed to change.
Maybe it was just me. Jason tensed and he hesitated.
"No. I'm not."
"What's wrong?" I rested my hand on his chest and felt his heartbeat speed up. He grabbed my hands, holding them there.
"Nothing to worry about." He whispered.
"Are you sick?"
"No-"
"Are the bipolar pills making you sick?"
"Y/n-"
"Because if they are then you should stop taking them."
Jason squeezed my hands tightly. "I said it's nothing to worry about." He mumbled.
I bit my lip. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
Jason inhaled and his breath caught in his throat. His eyes looked glossy. But maybe it was the lighting.
"Just be here."
His voice cracked and I panicked.
"Jason, what-"
"I need you to be here. With me. No matter what happens, no matter what anyone tells you, I want you to always know that I love you. And I always will. Promise me that you'll never forget that." His voice shook as he spoke.
I took a deep breath. "Jason, you're scaring me. Why are you telling me this?"
He squeezed my hands even tighter. "Promise me."
My breath hitched. "I promise."
Jason opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words. Finally he spoke. "I love you." He whispered.
I wanted to say it back more than anything.
But I couldn't.
"Jason, you're brave and loyal. You'd do anything for the people you care about. You should be proud. You keep thinking everything you do is a mistake. You think you screw up no matter what you do-"
"I do screw up."
"Let me finish. There are always choices, you never know if you're making the right one or the wrong one until it's done. But when it counts, you make the right one." I whispered.
Jason's heart hammered beneath my touch. Finally, he reached up and slid his hand behind my neck, pulling me towards him.
"Look at me, Y/n," His voice was thick and heavy. "You're the only person who's ever said anything like that to me. The only person who sees me that way."
Our faces were a foot apart, but it felt like Jason was so close he could hear was I was thinking.
"That's not true-"
"Shh," He moved his hand and brought his finger to my lips. "I don't care if anyone else thinks those things, as long as you do. The way I feel about you..." he stopped as if he couldn't find the right words. "Sometimes, when I'm with you, I can hardly breathe." He whispered, the lighting made it hard to see his face, but I could just make out something glistening beneath his eye.
I reached out with my thumb and wiped it.
My breath hitched.
"Why are you crying?" I asked.
Jason shook his head and looked down. "I'm not. There's just something in my eye."
I lifted his chin. "Why are you crying." I repeated, his emotions were so contagious, I wanted to cry too.
"It doesn't matter." He mumbled.
"It matters to me."
"Y/n... I can't talk about this. Please."
I took a deep breath and nodded. "I want you to know that I'm here for you." I said.
I pressed my lips against his, trying to make the space between us disappear. It felt the way it always did when our lips finally touched. I sensed how much he wanted me- how much I really mattered to him. I ran my fingers down his arms.
"No matter... what happens." I whispered between kisses.
Jason's tongue swirled around my mouth in a hunger that matched my own.
"I'm always...here."
"Shut up and let me kiss you."
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