Kabanata XII: Sino ang pipiliin ko?
"Oh Chrome andito ka na naman?" matawa-tawang bati ko sakanya. Nagulat akong makita siya dito ngayon in fact it's really odd to see him here right now. As far as I know next week pa siya dapat andito para sa scheduled meeting nila ni Ken.
"Tss are you done?" he ignored my question and gave me a bored look.
"Done where?"
"With your work?" naguguluhan ako sa sinasabi niya.
"Eh ano kung tapos na ko?"
Lumapit siya sakin at inagaw ang bag ko, "Then we'll eat our dinner." I was about to object but he didn't let me.
"No worries, I already told Troy and he'll take care of your boss." I almost rolled my eyes. He had it all planned. He's actually acting weird, the last time he's here he even kissed me in the forehead that turned my whole system topsy turvy.
"You really planned this don't you?"
"Isipin mo na ang gusto mong isipin." Aniya bago ko tuluyang kinaladkad. Sumunod na lang ako sa kagustuhan niya.
We rode his pick-up truck, "Now where are we headed?" I asked while struggling with my seatbelt. "Tsk until now you don't know how to put that on properly." Inagaw niya sakin yung strap at siya mismo ang nagkabit sakin.
It's a bad move. Our faces are inches away from each other. I can almost inhale his scent and it's making me feel uncomfortable. "Ahhm okay na" I broke our staring game.
He started the car and there's this awkward silence in the air. "How's life?" out of the blue question niya. "Just typical mas nakakapagod lang since I'm learning my new job description."
"Speaking of which anong pumasok sa isip mo at pumayag kang maging secretary nung Architect na yun?" tanong niya habang nakatuon ang atensyon sa pagmamaneho.
"Nothing special Chrome, maiba lang and there's nothing wrong being his secretary. " pagpapalusot ko. He's interrogating me like a criminal.
"It's just that it's not your cup of tea."
"I'm a fast learner Chrome, matutunan ko rin yun."
"Okay do as you wish"
Nagpark siya sa Belissima, ito yung restaurant ni Sam and foods taste really good in here. Nauna siyang bumaba at nagulat ako ng nagmamadali siyang umikot at pinagbuksan ako ng pintuan. "Off you go" he motioned my way out.
"You're acting really weird Chrome." pag-uusisa ko.
"No I'm not." Pagtatanggi niya.
I shrugged trying not to give any color on his actions. He's just being gentleman, tama nagiging gentleman lang siya. Sinalubong kami ng isang waitress, "Do you have any reservations Sir?" she asked.
"We have it's under my name, Chrome Villamayor." Naglabas siya ng calling card niya at ipinakita dun sa babae.
"Oh I see Sir, follow me."
Now I'm feeling creepy about this. He has reservations, so it means this is planned. OMG heart don't you palpitate. We sat down and the waitress gave us the menu.
"Hmmm give me 1 Chicago Style Prime Bone-In Ribeye and a bottle of wine. Ikaw?" tiningnan ko siya before answering "I'll try their Shrimp Alexander" naalala ko si Ken. He doesn't eat shrimps samantalang ako ay pabortiong paborito ko ito.
Now what Mandy bakit mo siya naaalala? Kanina pa siya palaging sumasagi sa isipan ko at parang may nakalimutan akong gagawin. Si Chrome kasi bigla na lang sumulpot pagkalabas ko ng opisina. I shook my head to erase his thoughts. "Hey are you alright?" I was taken aback when Chrome called for my attention.
"Ha?" tumawa siya sa reaksyon ko.
"Kanina ka pa iiling-iling diyan para kang sira." Aniya.
"Bwisit! May naisip lang ako kaya umiiling tsk tsk." pagdadahilan ko.
Maya maya rin ay dumating na ang order namin. It's a sumptuous meal, iba talaga ang galing ng chef nila Sam dito kaya hindi na ko nagtatakang magtatayo ulit sila ng isa pang branch. This is Sam's baby bukod sa mga anak niya ito na siguro ang pinakatatangi niya sa buhay well ofcourse aside from Troy.
I was sipping my last glass of wine when I noticed a red car parked right across the street. I tried to look at it closely, familiar kasi siya para bang nakita ko na dati. But to no avail the car window is heavily tinted, "May problema ba?" narinig kong tanong ni Chrome at sinundan ng tingin ang direksyon na tinitingnan ko.
"Kilala mo ba yun?" he's pertaining to the car owner.
"I'm not sure pero baka kamukha lang. H'wag na lang natin pansinin."
Tumango siya at ininom ang wine sa baso niya. Nakakailang baso na rin kami at mukhang malapit na namin maubos ang inorder niyang Italian Wine.
"Would you like to drink Mandy? I mean outside, hardcore." napalingon ako kay Chrome. Napuno ng pagtataka ang mukha ko.
"Woah ikaw ba talaga si Chrome? Ngayon ka lang nag-ayang uminom sa tinagal- tagal nating magkaibigan ha?" pang-aasar ko. He's not that type of guy who drinks a lot.
"Stop that, gusto ko lang mag-unwind." Sagot niya.
Tumawa ako ng mahina, "Sige pagbibigyan kita baka hindi pa maulit yan. Saan ba?" I asked him I know we're not going to drink here the place is too cozy and it's not suitable for hard core drinking.
Tila nag-isip siya, "Sa pad mo?" nalaglag ang panga ko sa sinagot niya. Buong akala ko ay sa isang bar siya mag-aaya like Suede.
"Sa condo? Wala namang thrill yun."
"Mas masarap dun at least after nating malasing hindi ko na kakailanganin ipagdrive ka pauwi."
"Oo na Mr. Pratical."
Bumili lng kami sa convenient store ng alak at nagtuloy na kami sa condo ko. Bababa n asana ako pero bigla niyang hinawakan ang braso ko, "Sa likod na lang tayo uminom?" sabay turo dun sa likod ng Cadilac Escalade niya.
Napatingin ako sa suot ko, "I think my skirt won't work there."
"Oh that!"
Sinukbit ko ang shoulder bag ko, "Sige magpapalit muna ko then I'll get back here or gusto mong sa taas maghintay?" medyo malamig na sa labas at baka manigas na siya na parang yelo bago ako makabalik.
"No, I'll just stay here and wait for you" he smiled, pero yung ngiti niya hindi umabot sa mata na para bang may problemang malalim. "I know you've got something to tell Chorme. This would be real quick" he nodded.
Nagmamadali akong pumanik sa unit namin ni Mateo. Nagpalit ako ng jogging pants at loose shirt then kinuha ko yung jacket sa cabinet. I didn't even noticed kung nasa kwarto na niya si Mateo dahil sa sobrang pagmamadali ko.
Patakbo akong bumalik sa parking lot at mukhang nakapagset-up na siya sa likod ng truck dahil may blanket na dun at nakalatag na rin ang ilang cans ng beer na binili namin. "Now that's really fast" natatawangsabi niya. I think hindi man lang ako inabot ng 15 minutes. Pumwesto ako sa tabi niya and opened my first can. I noticed na may 2 cans ng bukas at walang laman, I guess he started drinking the moment I turned my back.
"Tell me your dirty little secret Chrome, you look stressed." I started it first. Kilala ko si Chrome, hindi siya magsasalita unless I asked questions.Para na siyang hindi natutulog sa lalim ng eyebags niya. Maging ang mangilang-ngilang facial hair ay hindi nakaligtas sa paningin ko. I know him as a man who's very hygienic at ayaw na ayaw tinutubuan ng balbas.
He grabbed another can and started drinking it. "I didn't know you're a hard drinker." Komento kong binalewala lang niya. This is frustrating.
"Ano ba gusto mong malaman?" he asked while admiring the beauty of the night sky.
"Everything. As in every bits of information."
Bumuntong hininga siya at iniunan ang braso sa ulo bago humiga. "It's falling apart Mandy." Malungkot na sabi niya. Kumunot ang aking noo, "Anong fall apart? Sino? Ano?" naguguluhang tanong ko.
"6 months ago we are preparing the wedding, but here I am 6 months later left alone with a vague wedding and a broken heart."nasamid ako sa iniinom kong alal at halos lumuwa ang baga ko sa pag-ubo. Kaagad naman siyang bumangon at tinapik tapik ang likod ko.
"If that's a fvcking joke I swear I'm gonna choke you to death." I threatened him with the most threatening voice I could muster.
They started their preparations right after their engagement and I'm bewildered with what he is saying. But the moment my eyes met his. I already knew the answers to my question. Pain and Longing. Yun lang ang nakikita kong emosyon niya ngayon nabura ang pilit na ngiting kanina pa niya pinakihaharap sakin.
"I really hope I'm just joking, sana nga biro ko lang yun that anytime I could say 'sorry my bad just trying to pull a prank' but d-amn it's not." Yumuko siya at pinaglaruan ang tin can na hawak. I bit my lip trying to suppress the questions I wanted to ask but seeing him in this breaking point I can't help but ask.
"Natahimik ka dyan?" he tried to lighten up the mood but I'm not naïve to feel his pain.
"Don't worry, I'm fine. At least I'm trying to survive my every day without her." He touched my shoulder and assured me that everything is fine even though I know it's not.
"What happen? I thought you're both planning for the wedding? That everything is smooth sailing? Chrome naman anong nangyari senyo?" until now I can''t grasp the whole idea.
The last time I checked their both in love with each other and now what? He's here looking devastated and so down. I even remember the night when Ken and I met. Sila pa ang dahilan nun kung bakit ako naglasing ng sobra sobra.
"We did, but somewhere down the road she told me she's not happy with the arrangement. Alam mo namang arranged lang ang lahat but I learned how to love her. And I never wanted to force her into something she doesn't like. I would rather die in vain of being alone than have her, knowing she's not happy." He looked up and swear to God I saw his eyes starting to glisten.
Oh God this man is hurting!
I don't know what to do, how can I comfort him? Should I hug him? Should I tap his back or should I just let him tell his story and made him realize that he's not alone? Geez, tell me what to do.
"Nasaan siya? I think you just need to talk Chrome. It's not as if she's leaving you for good, maybe she needs space. I mean you both need some air to breathe." I tried my very best to calm him and at the same time calm myself. He's in pain and it pained me as well.
Ngumiti siya ng pilit, "Space? Am I too much of a heckler? Nasasakal ko ba siya? I just did what I thought would make her happy pero hindi sapat. Lagi na lang kulang, lagi na lang ako ang iniiwan, lagi na lang silang nakukuha ng iba. She left yesterday, no words said. Siguro hindi ako importante sakanya para magpaalam."
"Going where?" tanong ko.
"States? Europe? Region 1 to fvcking I don't know where. I can't contact her nor her family. Pinutol niya ang lahat ng komunikasyon ko sakanila. She want me out of her life." Mukha na siyang iiyak at ng dumakko ang tingin niya sakin I immediately hugged him. Ayaw kong makitang tumulo ang luhang nagbabadya sa sulok ng kaniyang mata.
"She'll come back Chrome. She'll be back for you. Baka nagka wedding jitters lang siya. Normal saming mga babae yun lalo na at care-free si Chantal she loves freedom." Nag-umpisa ng mabasag ang boses ko pero sinubukan ko kumalma para sakanya. Hindi siya sumagot hanggang sa maramdaman ko na lang ang pagtaas at pagbaba ng balikat niya.
I knew it right there and then, he's crying his heart out. I wanted to hate myself, minsan ko ng hiniling na maghiwalay sila to give chance for the love I have for him but seeing him cry silently is too much to bear.
God please take away his pain!
Mas gugustuhin ko pang ako na lang ang masaktan basta makita ko lang na masama siya. Nasasaktan ako pag nasasaktan siya pero sa pagkakataon na ito wala akong magagawa kundi ang yakapin siya.
But as I caress his back I saw a familiar car across the street and this time no heavily tinted window can prevent me from seeing who's the man behind it wearing his pained expression.
"K-Ken" I mouthed with a gasp, but he looked away and started his car. I watched his retreating car heading towards the darkness of the street.
I feel so helpless. Ayaw kong mag-isip siya ng mali sa nakita niya pero paano si Chrome? I can't leave him broken right now. Anong gagawin ko?
Sino ang pipiliin ko?