It's Saturday morning around 3 am and I can't sleep. At night I get very depressed and emotional, all I can think about is the future, and if I'm good enough to become an artist. Tears are about to form when I hear a small weep and a sniffle that I thought came out of me. A tear falls down my face when another cry I believe came from Phillip's room. I can hear him cry harder and I can't stop crying, my eyes go blurry from the tears and snot rolls down my nose.
" fuck," he whispers loudly. I blow my nose and get up to open my door, my ankle still hurts a little but I work through the pain. Before I open the door all I can think is " what the fuck are you doing, you're not the strong one , you don't go see what is wrong" but I open Phillips door anyway, I can't see him because his room is so dark. I switch on the light and he is staring up at me from his bed with tears in his eyes, his eyebrow goes up in confusion and I wipe more tears from my face. I close his door slowly so neither of our parents hears us.
"I thought you were my dad" he sits up, clearing his throat.
" I heard something I didn't know what it was"
I lied ....... sue me.
" Why are you crying," he says even more confused now.
" why are you" I wipe another tear from my face and regretting my decision. He moves over in his queen bed and pats on the empty side for me to sit down.
" no thanks... I think I'm going to go back to my room, I just wanted to make sure you weren't getting mauled by a bear or...... something". Another tear falls down my face and I start to crave a cigarette.
"Do you have any cigarettes I think I'm out" I sniffle. " yeah" he wipes the shiny tears from his face and I think "are mine like that"? " here" he said pulling the cigarette from his nightstand, I go to reach for the cig but he grabs my wrist instead and pulls me on the bed. My body hit the bed but my head landed in his lap, we both look at each other when the bedframe hit the wall with a loud bang.
" The fuck lip why did you do that " I whisper with wide eyes.
" I don't know " he whispers. I lift my head up from his lap and clear my throat.
"I'm just going to go," I say getting up.
" wait... I'm really sorry I didn't think... that was going to happen" he whispers with his head down and staring at the blankets.
" yeah your right .... you don't think" I walk out of the room
" oh .....hey .....honey what were you doing in lips room" my mom is in her nightgown and looking at me confused. Well I know one thing for sure I wasn't going to tell her the truth.