Olivia's POV
I stared at Elliot, and so many emotions ran through me.
Should I say yes?
Should I tell him no?
Should I ask for time?
Am I really ready for a marriage, or what comes with it?
I'm so confused at this point, that I bite my lip, trying to keep if from trembling.
"Liv?" Elliot asked, and I stood and quickly ran from the restaurant.
<^>
My heels made loud clicking noises as I ran away from the restaurant. I knew where I needed to go, so I hailed a cab. My breathing was shaky by the time I arrived at Alex's apartment.
"Liv?" Alex looked at me with confusion.
"He proposed." I whimpered, as she pulled me into her apartment.
"So, what did you say?" She asked, and I flicked the tears from my cheeks and stared at her.
"I ran out. I-i couldn't say anything." I sobbed, and she hugged me warmly, trying to calm me, but nothing was working.
"Breathe." Alex spoke, but I shook my head tearfully.
"No! I just ran out on the only man who has and who will ever love me! I'm not meant to be loved, and I don't even know why he proposed! What if we get a divorce? What if he finds someone else?" I questioned quickly, and she frowned.
"You and Elliot are meant to be." She replied, and I stood up and started to pace.
"What if we aren't? What if we start a family, and he decides that its too much?" I asked, and she sighed.
"Liv, he loves you! That is all you need to know!" She exclaimed, and i bit my lip and frowned deeply.
"No. I need more. I can't just go blindly into a marriage. I can't get hurt by him again." I sobbed.
<^>
When I went home, Elliot was sleeping, Becka on my side of the bed, and Finn on his chest. I bit my lip, and was thankful for him being drunk, because it gave me a chance to pack up my stuff, and of course, Finn's so I could take him to a hotel with me. I needed to be alone, and have time to think.
I left a note telling him where I was going, but to leave me alone. I needed time to decide if I wanted to marry him, or if I wanted to end our relationship completely.
<^>
Elliot's POV
"Daddy, I'm hungry!" Becka exclaimed, waking me up. I yawned and ran the heels of my hands over my eyes before sitting up.
"Go wake Olivia." I spoke, as I climbed out of bed.
"Liv isn't here, Daddy." Becka replied, and I stopped in my path, and then turned to look at her.
"Where's Finn?" I questioned quickly, and she shrugged. I ran from the room, and on the kitchen counter was a note.
El, I'm sorry. I can't say yes, and I can't say no, until I have thought more. I love you, and Becka, but I had to take Finn. Please just leave me alone, but for security reasons, I'm at the Moonlight Hotel.
~Olivia
I frowned deeply and crumpled up the note, before slamming my fists down on the counter.
"Fuck!" I screamed, before I started to punch the cabinets, and blood covered the doors, and my hands.
I had really fucked up this time.
<^>
I drove quickly to the Moonlight Hotel, wanting, needing to see and talk to Olivia. I walked to the front desk, and waited for the man to ask me what I needed.
"I'm looking for Olivia Benson's room." I spoke.
"And you are?" He asked.
"Elliot Stabler, I'm her boyfriend."
"Room 506."
<^>
I decided on the stairs than the elevator. I needed the time to get together what I needed to say.
When I got to her floor, I walked down the hall, and when I got to room 506, I heard Liv singing to Finn, and I knew that I NEEDED to be with her.
I knocked and it was only a moment before Liv came to the door, and she looked at me with puffy red eyes.
"I told you that I wanted to be alone." She whimpered, and I frowned.
"I know, love, but we need to talk."
She bit her lip and closed her eyes, and tears slide down her cheeks, leaving their paths behind.
"Elliot, I don't know if marrying you is a good option."
"Why not?" I asked.
"Because I don't want you to change your mind and leave me. I can't rely on you, and then end up losing you, and I can't let that happen."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"What if I end up pregnant, and we start a life together, but you get bored?" She asked.
"I will never get bored with you." I replied.
"Really? When you left, I talked to Kathy, and she said that you said that exact same thing to her. So what made you change? Kathy. Dani. Me? What is different?" She cried, and I felt my heart break.
"Everything." I replied simply.
"Tell me!" She cried, and I felt anger rise in me.
"You are better than them, Liv!"
"Really? A product of rape is better than the two women you married and had children with?" She cried, and I slammed my hand against the wall.
"STOP BEING SO STUPID!" I screamed, letting my anger out. She stared at me, and frowned deeply.
"You are a liar, Elliot Stabler." She replied, before shutting the door in my face. I heard her lock it, and then I started to cry.
If only I had known what she was going through. How something was gnawing away at her, and that it would carry her so far away from me. How she would leave everything behind, because I'm so stupid. She would take Finn away.
I heard her slide down the door, as I did the same thing.
This thin piece of wood stood between us. Blocking out all of the communication we could have. I could be holding her, but our stubbornness wouldn't allow it, and in two days, when I would come back here, I would wish that I had opened the door and held Olivia in my arms, and I could've told her that everything was going to be okay. But it wasn't.
Hey guys! Thanks for reading! Please vote/comment/share! :D