| 9:15 am |
Josh Pov:
Sitting at the stairway thinking about everything that has happen between us. Is this really worth fighting for still, this boy has taken so much from me and he don't even know it. "Fuck man" I sighed grabbing the rail standing up as I pulled the door open.
Walking down standing in front of Yandel dorm door. The debate was real, everything in my head was telling me to walk away, but my heart was sending me every emotion we've shared together. Letting out another deep sigh as I pulled open their door. Mike turned back to me as I walked towards Yandel room.
• • •
This was my last opportunity to turn back as I pushed his door open. "Yan" I called out stepping in as I didn't see anyone. "He left for class" mike said walking pass me as I turned around standing in the doorway. "I didn't see him walk out the stairway?" I questioned. "He probably walked around, his class is on that end." He said walking pass me again.
"Alright" I mumbled back walking back out of their dorm. "Damn" I sighed heading towards the stairway. I stood in front of their building hoping I would see him, but no luck with that. Even tried calling him as his phone just rung.
I stood by my car looking around as I let the door handle go. A voice in my head was telling me to just leave, as I shook my head pulling the door handle open getting into the car.
• • •
| 9:55 am |
Yandel Pov;
The professor was going over our upcoming exam as my head rested in the palm of my hand looking dryly at the board. The pin in my head tapped against the desk as I noticed other students getting up leaving the class room.
Shaking out of my day dream grabbing my backpack as the professor nodded his head at me. He didn't say anything as I walked towards the door heading out. Marian was standing by the only floor exit as I let out a soft sigh, turning the volume up on my phone.
His lips moved as I walked passed him. There was no way in hell my life was really turning out this way. Everything I've worked hard for felt pointless, I didn't see a purpose of being here. My ear phone was pulled from my ear interrupting my thought.
Shawn stood on the side of me as I didn't even bother to react. Grabbing my ear phone as I pushed it back in walking towards my dorm building. "Yandel" he spoke removing my earphone as I stopped turning towards him.
"Yes?" I calmly asked as he looked surprised. "No screaming wow" he mumbled. "Do you need something?" I politely asked. "Just making sure everything is okay" he said as I nodded my head. "Everything is perfect" I smiled. As I turned around rolling my eyes.
"I never meant for any of this to happen Yandel" He blurred out walking up beside me. "How many time will we have this conversation? Marian, just forget I exist and I'll do the same" I said stopping him. "That's what this is about, me not knowing anything about my life, my parents, and the true you. Nice knowing you Shawn, but please stay away or I will report you to the campus security" I said turning around walking backwards as he stood there.
For some reason my mind became eased. I couldn't fault my love life on anyone but myself. Silly me right? I chuckled out loud like a crazy person. "My life" I laughed again, taking a seat on the bench as cool air brushed against my face.
The longer I sat the colder it became, I didn't realize how much time had passed until the noon bell sounded across campus. My phone vibrated in my pocket as I reached for it. My mom name popped up as I chuckled looking up at the sky. "You're something else you know that" I said pointing as I ignored the call. She called again as I ignored the call once again.
"Oohkay" I mumbled to myself getting up from the bench as I noticed Jeremiah jogging across the court yard. He had his head phones in running as we were seconds away from crossing paths. He removed his headphone breathing hard. "You look like you're feel better" he smiled as I rocked back in forth. "Do I really?" I asked as he chuckled.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it, you should know Me by now" he spoke as I laughed. "It's clear I don't know anyone" I sighed smirking as he blew into his hands. "You out here running in the cold, working out that serious?" I asked as he flexed. "It's actually relaxing, you should run with me everyday. Might relieve some of the stress you've been dealing with" he spoke as we started to walk.
"I have one more lap what you say?" He asked as I stepped to the side. "You got it, imma just head up" I said as he jogged in place. "Whenever you want to I'm here" he smiled as he put his head phones back in jogging away.
I crossed over towards my dorm as I noticed josh standing there with his hands in his pocket. My heart sped up the closer I got to him, his jaw muscle flexed as I stood a feet away from him. From the look on his eyes I knew something was wrong, he looked concern, but afraid all at once.
He looked around as I stepped up on the side walk. "You have some time?" He asked as I stood there with my head down. "I have nothing else, so I guess so" I mumbled looking up at him as he started to walk towards the parking lot. I followed behind him as he approached his car.
He unlocked the doors as we both got in. He turned his heater on as he started the car. I didn't bother to question where we were going as I just sat there starring out the window. He passed up a few lights as clouds started to cover the sun. We pulled up to a park that was surrounded by a lake.
Josh got out the car as I followed behind him. He guided me towards a bench as we sat. The view was absolutely amazing as a few people walked the trail.
"For two months I sat any questioned my dreams and my purpose" he said starring out at the lake as I watched the side of his face. "What was it that josh wanted, why did I grow up the way I did, why it took somebody else faith in me to want me to be better" he calmly spoke looking at me.
"I'll admit, it took every breath in my body to walk away from you Yandel" he mumbled as I felt my emotions coming over me. "I can't be mad at you because I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for your support yan, I can't discredit you on that. You saw something in me I didn't see in myself" he added on rubbing my thigh.
"That month being away from you gave me so much time to think, for once I was able to be Joshua, live my truth, support my self for once, you know" he said leaning back on the bench. "I've always counted on you deep down to push me to want to be better, but I was able to be better on my own" he mumbled turning his head towards me.
"We've shared some of the best moments together yan, since day one you where the only person I'ver ever wanted to settle down with" he sighed as he whipped away the one tear that was forming. "I took this back from you, when I saw it on your dresser this morning" he said pulling out the black box.
"Look at me" he said grabbing my face. "No look deep" he semi-groaned as my eyes watered. "You're the first person that I've ever felt this pain for" he groaned trying to keep himself from tearing up as he sniffled. "I love you boy you know that?" He questioned as he held the side of my neck in his palm forcing me to stay connected with him.
"I'll give up anything and become anything to satisfy you and be by your side Yandel, you have my heart" he mumbled sucking in his lips as a tear had finally fell from his eye. "You've given me chance after chance after chance, and it's only right I do the same for you yan, and it's killing me deep down because I now understand your pain from all the years I did this to you" he sighed taking a deep swallow drying his face, keeping control of his emotions.
"I don't know what's going on in your life yan, but if you let me in, I promise on my soul" he said getting up from the bench, dropping down to one knee. "I will care and protect you to the best of my ability, I can't be the super man you dream of but I can be Joshua" he said opening the box.
"It's not much, but this ring means everything to me. I've never given someone this much power over my emotions and you have my heart in both hands Mr.edwards. If you take this ring, you have to promise me to let me be there and let me grow into the man I want to be, you have to promise to let me take the driver seat sometimes, most of all you have to promise to love me until love can't love anymore?" He sighed sliding the ring on.
"I love you boy, real shit man. Stop trying to be so strong all the time, we're human yan. That's all we can be baby" he said before pulling me in for a kiss.
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| Chapter sound track Inspiration |
- Dream: Code Blue