The next few days past in a haze - I was almost kindly cared for by Lord Kenshin himself. Kanetsugu was terse and indifferent. My hands were untied during the day and the gag wasn't used.
I let myself simply exist.
Being taken to relieve myself by men and guarded would normally have felt demeaning and humiliating, but I felt nothing.
The one thing that caught me by surprise one afternoon was Kenshin rebraiding my hair. I ate well and whilst the hours went by focused on working my muscles slowly under the kimono - each ligament, each fibre, slowly, carefully, determined not to waste away from inactivity.
A part of me wanted to reach out my senses, listen, learn, but it would take too much of my internal resources, so I kept myself within. I thought Kenshin or Kanetsugu would interrogate me, and I kept a part of myself ready for it, although I knew too long in that man's eyes would probably break me.
It never happened though.
In the dim half-light of one morning, Kanetsugu roughly shook me awake.
"Time to spring the trap." His face was full of ill humour as he spoke.
Hoisted to my feet, I was bundled out into a large courtyard where I saw Lord Kenshin was already mounted, thoroughly dazzling astride a beautiful white horse, a mare I think. His full armour made him look like some ethereal knight in shining armour, but the expression on his face was deadly.
Lifted into the saddle with hands tied, I realised riding in trainers would be tricky; so I slightly shortened my legs under the kimono to make the stirrups dangle beyond my feet.
"Make sure she can ride securely, we have rough terrain ahead." Kanetsugu barked at a nearby retainer who muttered something under his breath and came over to shorten them for me. My feet found the better length easily; so at least I would have no trouble balancing. I took a quick look around me, this place was as elegant and beautiful as it's Lord, but like him, looked cold in the half-light.
My bound hands were allowed reins, but a retainer held my horse from a lead and another flanked me. Lord Kenshin and Kanetsugu rode ahead and there was a reasonably sized squad of retainers behind, most of them armed with bows and swords.
Just a hand signal started us out of the castle courtyard, and my stomach and head lurched together for a beat whilst the cold bit into me. I clenched my jaw and concentrated on riding. The terrain was truly difficult in places, the sun rose higher and as a group we reached a flat outcrop where Kanetsugu called a halt. Lord Kenshin dismounted and took the lead of my horse.
"So, the stories of you horsemanship are true." He nodded at me, and I noticed several of the now dismounted troop were muttering about the way of going. Although all around me took a break, I was left on the horse, looking out over the landscape. Any other time it would've taken my breath away with its beauty.
But not today.
Not this time.
I said nothing. I hadn't spoken for days.
Kenshin searched my face with his eyes - I didn't try to see what was lurking in his, I just squarely met his gaze with a cold, flat empty stare.
My heart stayed calm and even in my chest.
He went to say something, and then changed his mind, instead tethering my horse and striding away to Kanetsugu who held a cup out to him as he approached. I truly wasn't listening to whatever they said as they looked over to me. I just sighed and turned my attention to my hands and the ropes that bound them.
We seemed to be waiting for something. The sun was warming on my skin and I could feel myself dozing off in its embrace. Just as my eyes were getting heavy I heard a sound off to my right. All around me were instantly on their feet, sharp and alert.
A solitary rider screeched to a sliding stop on the outcrop, totally blocking my view of Lord Kenshin and Kanetsugu. There was a quiet exchange, beyond my hearing more than my understanding.
The command to remount was given sharply.
This time I wasn't flanked, just led and I soon found out why. It looked as if this path was new, recently constructed and much narrower than the one to the outcrop. To my left other sounds started to filter down, the unmistakable sounds of battle. We slowed, then stopped. Kanetsugu signaled to the retainer leading me to dismount. I was pulled roughly over, still on the horse, and a gag swiftly tied before I was shoved back upright again.
My heart tried to flutter, but I increased my hold around it and shifted my breathing to my nose, steadily regaining control of its beat.
The path twisted, bringing the sounds of battle closer, then twisted away and they faded for a bit. I was having to really concentrate on riding, my horse stumbled a couple of times, lurching me forwards, reminding me my shoulders still burned. Fortunately, still having reins I was able to bring the horse back up easily, but the retainer yanked on the lead as well, making it an unnecessarily complicated ride.
We halted again, nothing but the sound of restless horses and metal, with a backdrop of battle somewhere to the side. Again, it seemed we were waiting for something.
Kanetsugu raced off ahead, and in the space he left behind I could see the path stretch straight on a sharp incline for several hundred yards. His horse and form reappeared and we moved off swiftly, a fast canter against the slope and the newly made path.
As we crested the rise we seemed to be in a small command post, perched on the top of the hill. A billowing series of banners bearing Kenshin's emblem fluttered in the breeze across the space. As I looked around it occurred to me it looked more like a stage.
All dismounted quickly and I was tipped off my horse with barely enough time to let go of the reins.
Lord Kenshin swirled around and pointed "There." He commanded and I was shoved to the ground and held there by two retainers. The horses were led back over the rise and everyone had swords drawn and bows ready.
Kanetsugu was searching the skies.
"How long?" Kenshin looked impatient.
Two arrows arced across the sky, one with a blue flame, the other red.
"They are coming as expected milord, on two fronts - there, " He pointed towards the crested banner, " And there." He spun slightly to his left.
"Perfect." Kenshin smiled.
"All hold" Kanetsugu barked at the men, "Only Lord Kenshin's voice or mine will command you."
There was a bristling grim silence in reply, all stood like statues around me.
Then I heard it.
The sound of battle approaching.
"Finally." Kenshin's smile broadened, it was the most terrifying I had seen - evil delight.
Some deep part of me shivered in my dark space.
I looked up to see him walking towards me, the pendant once again entwined in his fingers. He squatted beside me and turned my face to his with the same hand.
"A Tiger's head for yours - not really a fair swap, but worth it nonetheless."
I had no idea what he was planning, but knew I was going to be used in some way against Lord Shingen. I had to trust what the woman in the dark had said; others were trying to help me. I went down into my empty place and stared back into those dangerous eyes.
"You are not afraid are you." It sounded almost a compliment. "I give you credit for your strength of will Lady Tamara," Once more the word 'Lady' wasn't pleasant, "I can see you are no ordinary woman," He leant in closer, "But your fate is to die here."
With that he stood up and went back to Kanetsugu.
All seemed to hang on a thread.
"Milord!" Kanetsugu raised his voice.
The sound of fighting was suddenly loud and rushed towards us like the sound of a metal tornado. Several arrows clattered to the ground around me at the limit of their range and so had no force.
"HOLD!!" Kanetsugu shouted to the men as several drew bows.
I saw a blood soaked sword slash through the banner on my right and gasped involuntarily. The two hands tightened their grip pinning me in my kneeling position on the ground. My legs were starting to really protest, they were full of pins and needles.
A second sword swiftly followed, slashing the banner down and a swirl of red and gold fabric came behind it.
Oh my God, LORD YUKIMURA!!
Simultaneously, hoof beats approached from in front of me as the unmistakable form of Lord Takeda Shingen bore down towards us. He dismounted while his horse was still running, never losing a step, leaving his horse to stop on its own. His stride appeared to almost match the speed he was riding. With a group of retainers flanking and covering him, he met up with Yukimura and his men, slowing to a walk.
His eyes narrowed at the scene in front of him. The two of them were sprayed in blood, whilst in contrast Kenshin and Kanetsugu were pristine. I could still hear battle in the distance, but here, between these two groups, the silence was deafening. The air bristled between these two great Lords, despite their so-called respect and admiration for each other, today they were adversaries.
Lord Kenshin stood with Kanetsugu at his side. Only Kanetsugu held his sword at the ready.
Lord Shingen and Yukimura approached, they relaxed their sword stance a little, but didn't sheath them.
"Kenshin." The Tiger of Kai growled, his eyes deadly.
"Shingen." I couldn't see his face from where I was, but Kenshin sounded smug in just that one word.
The tension was palatable, I thought even the sound of a bird would be enough to set them off.
Neither of them took their focus from the other.
"I found something of yours." Lord Kenshin said evenly.
Shingen's eyes flickered for just a fraction of a second.
I was hoisted to my feet, but my legs had gone to sleep and I crumpled again. The retainers put hands under my armpits and carried me to Lord Kenshin's side.
There was a quick visual exchange between Shingen and Yukimura and their stance re-sharpened as Kenshin drew his sword.
A powerful arm lifted me by my waist and Lord Kenshin held me off the ground in front of his body. He held his sword near my neck; the razor edge of the blade was turned outwards though.
I met Lord Yukimura's surprised eyes - but there was absolutely no recognition in them. I struggled with all the strength I could find, but Kenshin's hold was firm. All he did was turn the sharp edge of the blade towards my throat saying:
"Be still Lady Tamara."
As my eyes desperately looked ahead all I saw were two blood-soaked warriors, neither of them recognised me. 'My hair!' I thought with a sinking feeling. All they were seeing was a woman in an old kimono in front of them.
I had to do something.
Quickly.
"What is this game you are playing Kenshin?" Shingen looked ready to pounce, his sword pointed squarely towards us.
I struggled again, kicking Kenshin with my feet. The trainers made no impression on his armour, but it was all I could think of while my eyes pleaded, begged with all I had to Yukimura, as I didn't want to distract Lord Shingen.
A stray gust of wind flung up the kimono edge and Yukimura's eyes suddenly opened wide as he saw the out of place trainers on my feet.
"LADY TAMARA!" He shouted, and instantly went to attack stance. Lord Shingen had been holding Kenshin's stare and now his look changed to predator. He kept his sword point facing right at where I was being held. All of me relaxed for a second as relief ran through me, but it was a total error on my part.
What happened next was so fast it was virtually between heartbeats.
Lord Kenshin put me on my feet and in the next instant picked me up from the back of the kimono. With tremendous force he hurled me straight at Shingen shouting:
"NOW!!"
Even as time seemed to slow around me, the swords were flying. A cold rush bit my shoulder and I found myself face to face with Shingen. The next instant shock registered on us both. Kenshin had thrown me onto Shingen's sword; his right hand on the hilt was touching my shoulder.
For what seemed an age we looked at each other, then time sped up again to the furious fighting around us. I could hear Yukimura shouting over and over for Shingen.
Now I realised.
Now it was clear.
With me skewered on his sword, he was vulnerable. I didn't hesitate; using my bound hands I pushed myself backwards against the blade as hard as I could. Although I could feel it move, in that moment there was no pain, just the cold slice of metal. An instant later Shingen realised what I was doing and as I fell backwards he pulled the blade free and leapt over me, his blade finding Kenshin's just as it swung down towards his neck.
What was going on around me was too fast for my senses, metal, cursing; a spray of blood flew across my face.
Hands grabbed me, dragging me along the ground. I was rolled up to a sitting position in time to see a line of arrows bite the dirt in front of Shingen and Yukimura's feet.
Lord Kenshin was furious as Kanetsugu shouted something at him and he swirled away, disappearing over the rise. Yukimura went to follow, but Shingen signaled to hold a moment before another flight of well-aimed arrows bit the dirt.
I could hear the thunder of hoof beats disappearing down the slope.
Then silence.
...
A thick, heavy silence.