Chapter 9 - How to Use Pain

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"Lady Tamara?" In the darkness I heard a woman's voice and a sharp memory overlapped, making me instantly alert. I found the darkness was because my eyes were shut, and as I opened them I realised where I was.

I could see the outline of a woman at the door.

"Lady Tamara?" Now the voice was familiar and there were other moving shapes with her.

"Come in Shinshoni." As she began to open the door, Lord Shingen's two dogs careered into the room. I was swamped by doggy welcomes. I hugged them as best I could and ruffled their faces, managing to get out of bed. My shoulder was sharp in its agony, but I found the pain and traced it, drawing its energy into me, almost finding it delicious.

I noticed Shinshoni was staring at me with what looked like shock, as she held two odd shaped boxes in her arms. She recovered quickly however, and sent me a brilliant smile, moving closer she said:

"I will need to tend to your shoulder before anything else, you are still in some danger from the injury."

I believed her, the cut was clean and the blade sharp, I had almost instant first aid, but without antibiotics I could still fall to infection. I pushed the grisly thought from my mind.

"Bad throw, good aim." I said, even though I couldn't really see the injury - I had already tried until my eyes knotted - I knew it was more flesh than bone that took the sword.

Again, Shinshoni looked stunned. She set down the two boxes and sprung the catch on the top one. The medical kit inside fascinated me - it looked - it looked - well, medical. I mean a lot more modern that I thought it would.

"I am going to have to cause you pain, I am sorry."

I froze.

Those words.

I spun around and Shinshoni took a step back away from me, wide-eyed. "Lady Tamara?"

I shook my head to clear it, it was just a memory.

"I'm sorry Shinshoni, please, I am glad you are here, it is good to see you again." I tried to make my voice softer, but hearing it in my ears I wasn't so sure.

She breathed a sigh of relief.

As I sat on the table, the two dogs came over for more fuss, but Shinshoni gave them a hand signal and they obediently lay down, only their tails disobeyed and kept thumping on the floor.

Determined to hide my right shoulder, I only slipped the left side of my robe as Shinshoni stepped behind me. I heard her gasp.

"Is it bad?" I asked, thinking the worst.

"Your body - you, you ...."

She came around in front of me and knelt down, her face was so earnest, so wide-eyed and unbelieving. She reached out her hand to my arm. I fought the urge to flinch away, but her touch was soft, barely finding my skin.

"You have muscles!"

That caught me completely, and I actually laughed. "I've been busy." I said, flexing my hand and arm. Pain straightened my face and the mood was gone in a flash.

Shinshoni was so delicate tending to me and silent, for which to this day I am grateful. She asked me no questions and I offered nothing, but it was peaceful being with her. And yes, there was more pain, and still more blood, but whatever was in the dressings and lotions was incredibly soothing and numbing, even though a lot of it smelt awful.

It took some time to dress, the top was snug against the different shape of my body, I felt it clung to me in places that it shouldn't. She carefully put my left arm in a sling - it was the same colour as my cloak - and I absently wondered why slings were not done like this in my world. She braided my hair to one side so it sat over my right shoulder, I knew she wanted to ask me about the colour, but I'm glad she didn't.

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