I didn't say anything, realizing I was real lucky that they cared about me. Otherwise I really would have been sucking my meals through a straw. Seth went to change and Dean followed, leaving me and Roman standing there, not sure what to say.
"I wouldn't hurt you Lila. And I will never turn my back on you again." He finally said, making me look up at him, "I need you to understand that and I want us back."
"We're so different now Roman." I groaned, going to sit on the bench, "What if we can't than that's two of you I've lost in a row."
"I'm not going anywhere Lila. I don't know what else I have to do to prove that to you." Roman pleaded, crouching in front of me, hands on my knees, "You want forgiveness? I forgave you, easily. You hate the Authority? Fine, I'm done with them. You want me to promise I'll never turn my back on you, that I'll never let you get hurt? You got it. I swear I never will. Don't push me away."
He was pleading with me quietly, and I could barely look him in the eye. My title was sitting next to me and I cursed myself for being so stubborn. After Phil it was really hard to trust anyone and I knew I was taking it out on Roman. Raking my fingers through the hair at his temples I sighed deeply.
"Ok I'm sorry. Phil has completely fucked with my head and maybe I'm a little more damaged than I thought I was. I know you wouldn't hurt me and I'm going to try trust you." I nodded, holding the back of his neck.
He nodded, a flare of the old Roman coming back into his eyes. Our eyes were such a similar color that they seemed to blend together when we were together. Touching my forehead to his I closed my eyes, happy to just be near him and not having to worry about whether I could trust him or not. Seth walked back in, wearing a pair of jeans, just out of the shower.
"You can hit it Roman. I'll keep Lila company." Seth offered and Roman stood up, grabbing his bag and passing Dean to the shower.
Seth dried his chest off and threw the towel on the bench. For the first time I noticed the tattoo down his spine and I glanced at him, wondering what they meant. Dean cleared his throat and I jerked my eyes away seeing him grinning at me. He raised an eyebrow cheekily and I rolled my eyes.
"I was looking at the tattoo pervert." I scoffed, knowing what he was thinking.
"Sure whatever you say." He nodded, a smug smirk on his face, dimple flashing.
Seth turned a grin on his face. I shook my head, slightly flustered. It wasn't as though I didn't notice how handsome Seth was, it was impossible not to notice. I just didn't seem him that way, he was more of a friend and I was hoping he felt the same way. Dean was on the couch, sprawled out, waiting for Roman who walked out, having finished the world's fastest shower. He was just pulling on his sweater and he sat next to me, pulling on his sneakers. There was a beanie on his head, shielding his wet hair from the cool outdoors we were heading into.
"So now what? You guys just do whatever you want?" I asked, standing up.
"I was thinking Mario Kart in the bus." Dean drawled, getting to his feet.
"I'm serious." I sighed, throwing him a look of exasperation.
"So I am." He shot back, coming to stand in front of me, hand out at his sides, "Look we've all had a rough night so why not just relax a little? Have some fun for once Lila, take the..."
"Uh.." Roman cleared his throat, catching Dean's attention and shaking his head rapidly.
"I was going to say take a walk on the wild side." He grinned, and I raised an eyebrow at him, "Take your own advice for God's sakes."
I thought about what Dean said, repeating my words from the ring back at me. He was right, we only have to worry about what would happen next Monday as we taped Smackdown on Wednesdays. Until then we had time to hang out, relax and worry about repercussions on Monday.
"I gotta get my bag from the Diva's." I said, standing and opening the door.
The three men's faces in the room looked disappointed and I smiled, leaning my cheek against the door. My hand was on the handle as they stared up at me, waiting for me to walk out. They must have thought I was leaving despite what I had said.
"I'll meet you in the bus. I'll face the winner of the first round." I promised, seeing Roman perk up.
I slipped out and headed quickly to the locker room, slipping in. Nikki, Brie, Daniel and John were in there and they all faced me, instantly eyes wide. The door shut and I let out a breath, not sure what was going on.
"What the hell was that all about?" Daniel asked finally, as I grabbed my bag, shoving everything in it.
"I have no idea. I was fully expecting to get completely annihilated out there but I guess Shield had other ideas." I shrugged, not knowing what to say.
"Well they can't be all terrible if they didn't turn on you. I guess we'll see what happens on Monday." Brie commented,
"Ya shit is really going to hit the fan now." I sighed, thankful nobody thought I had anything to do with them, "I'm gonna head back to the hotel. I'm exhausted but can we hang out tomorrow? I think I desperately need a girl day."
"Oh you know we're always ready for that. Just text me when you're ready and I'll meet you at the mall or wherever." Nikki nodded, a smile growing on her face.
"Perfect. I'll see you guys tomorrow." I nodded, dipping out of the room.
I decided to tell Nikki and Brie everything tomorrow. Hopefully everything would go smoothly and I wouldn't lose any more friends.
4 Hours Later
After having one of the best nights in a while it was early in the morning. The guys didn't want me walking or taking a cab this late so they forced me to stay. This time I insisted on staying on the couch. The bus was dark and it had been a long day but I couldn't sleep, my mind racing. When Seth told me he wasn't sure what would happen if the Authority ever sent them after I didn't think it would end up like this. I was free to hang out with them, to be friends and I wouldn't have to worry about the Authority. I heard someone pad out of their room, sneaking across the bus. They opened the fridge, the light illuminating their face. Dean had bed head, hair fluffy and he scratched his stomach as he grabbed a water bottle.
"Nice hair." I commented, nearly making him jump out of his skin.
"Jesus I thought you were asleep." He groaned, shutting the fridge.
"I can't sleep. My mind just won't stop." I admitted, sitting up, legs tucked underneath the blanket.
"Ya I get it. I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it too." He said, sitting on the other side of me, "We made the right decision though."
"When did you realize this?" I questioned, suddenly curious.
"When I saw you in that corner of the ring tonight." He spoke softly, his deep voice fitting with the dark of the bus, "I may be a bit of a loose cannon but the thought of attacking you, of putting you on Roman's shoulders and driving you into that mat, it's crazier."
My breath caught in my throat, listening to the words he was saying. I was never 100% sure where Dean and I stood on friendship grounds but this seemed to cement it.
"I'm never sure with you Dean. You seem to run hot and cold with me and I never know what to expect." I said laughing slightly, leaning my head in my hand, "You bring me to medical, you ask about me and then you throw me on the ramp and show me videos of Phil and AJ. I never know which day is good for me."
I could barely see him in the dark, only seeing the slight copper tint of his hair and the slope of his shoulder from the street light. I spent time with him but I still barely knew him. He let out a soft chuckle breaking me out of my observations
"To be fair I only threw you because you did head butt me and break open my nose." He stated and I shrugged, giving him that one, "As for Phil and AJ, I knew about them from the start."
I froze, hearing his words. Lifting my head from my hand slowly, I grabbed for a remote on the coffee table. Clicking the on button I realized I grabbed the stereo remote and the radio turned on, volume quiet. The light from it was enough to illuminate his face and he was looking straight at me. My heartrate picked up and I swear it was going to wake up the whole bus how hard it was pounding.
"What do you mean from the start?" I finally managed to ask.
"From the night you stayed in our bus in Chicago. When he didn't go back to his." He stated, eyes more blue than green tonight.
I thought about that night, remembering Dean sitting with me on the ground, refusing to leave me there. How Phil was so panicked when I left and how he always reacted when I was around Shield.
"They've been together this whole time?" I managed to ask, mouth suddenly dry.
"I saw them going to the hotel. It didn't look like they were going there to talk. He saw me the next morning when I walked by and he panicked. I didn't tell anyone else." He explained softly, eyes wary.
"Oh son of a bitch. That's why he didn't want me to be around you guys. Not because he was afraid I would leave for Roman but because you knew his secret." I choked out, voice trembling, "That lying son of a bitch."
I whipped the blankets off, getting to my feet. My hands were shaking and I raked a hand through my hair, not knowing what to do. He had lied to me the whole time and I had fallen for it, like a complete idiot. I heard Dean get off the couch and I faced him. He had on black shorts, and he set his water bottle down on the table. I had so many emotions running through me that I couldn't let myself focus on one. I was pacing back and forth, only stopping when Dean grabbed my upper arms gently.
"Lila relax. It doesn't matter, you left remember?" he murmured, keeping quiet as the other two were still asleep.
"He lied to me the whole time. I thought I was actually making the right choice. God what else am I doing wrong here? How much more is going to blow up in my face?" I asked, looking up at him eyes wide.
"Nothing else is going to blow up in your face."
"How do you know that?"
"Because you have me. And you have Seth and Roman. We will protect you." He stated, keeping our gazes locked.
"That's why you asked me to choose Roman isn't it?" I realized, hands hanging at my sides, "Outside the hospital after TLC?"
"I couldn't tell you Lila. You would have thought I was lying and it would have forced you back into that scum's arms." He nodded and I closed my eyes, feeling so betrayed.
"God I should have just listened to you. I could've saved myself from feeling like this." I whispered, pulling away and turning around, hands on my hips head down.
My hand was shaking as I tilted my head back, eyes still squeezed shut, fighting the tears. I braced my hand on the tabletop biting my bottom lip to keep it from quivering. I felt Dean's hand on my shoulder and I wanted to shake it off but I couldn't. He rubbed my shoulders, and I felt a tear slip out. I quickly wiped it away, not wanting to lose it in front of Dean. He wrapped an arm around my chest, his right arm holding my left shoulder. The warmth of his chest was pressed against my back and I brought my hand up, holding his forearm. His chin was on the top of my head, just resting there.
"Should I have not told you?" he murmured against my hair.
"No I needed to know. I just didn't realize how much I would feel betrayed, even after everything that happened." I trembled, holding onto his arm like a lifeline.
"He was your friend."
"No he was my family." I shook my head, a tear hitting Dean's arm before I could wipe it away.
He turned me around, tilting my head up so he could look at me. I wiped my eyes before looking up at him. His gaze was dark, the shadows casting angles along his face, making him look more menacing than ever. Despite the look he was giving me I wasn't scared and I wasn't sure when I stopped being scared of him.
"That's his mistake. You never turn your back on your family." He frowned, tilting his head to the side.
I closed my eyes, the stinging starting all over again. I leaned forward, resting my head against the dip in his chest. My hands rested on his waist, feeling the warm skin under my cool hands. His hands rubbed my back gently, almost covering my whole back. He had large hands and they rubbed comforting circles and I breathed deep, calming myself down. I was alright after a moment and I leaned back, pushing my hair back out of my face.
"Thank you. For telling me and being here for me." I sighed, pulling my hair to the side.
"You don't have to thank me." He shrugged, "You should get some sleep."
"Ya I uh, don't think that's going to happen any time soon now." I replied, sitting on the couch.
I turned on the TV, finding some South Park and putting it on low. I tried to lose myself in the cartoon but it wasn't working. Dean walked in front of me, sitting on the other side of the couch. He stretched his legs out onto the table, hands crossed on his stomach. His head was resting on the back of the couch, eyes focused on the TV.
"Dean you don't have to sit here with me. One of us being sleep deprived is enough." I laughed softly, the humour barely there.
"I won't be able to, knowing you're upset out here." He shrugged, eyes still on the TV.
"I'm not that upset. I'll be fine." I argued.
"Then lie down and sleep." He challenged, turning slightly.
I sighed, still staying upright. Dean reached over, grabbing the pillow from behind me. He sat up, stretching a leg over the couch, placing the pillow against his side. Patting it he turned back towards the TV, one leg on the couch the other one on coffee table. I was glad it was a wide couch as I spun around, lying my head against the pillow. I brought the blanket over my, covering his leg with it as well. I tucked my hand under the pillow, feeling his skin undermine. I watched South Park until my eyes drifted shut, Dean's hand resting on my back.
2-gg^2