It was a little while ago I searched for my own apartment. I kind of stopped when all those horrible things happened. But now I know I finally found my own place. A place I took care for, I found this amazing place and I decorated it. It feels great, and I feel independent for making it this far without any help.
But of course I had to call the real estate agent first before I can be all happy about a place I haven't even bought yet. I typed his phone number and pressed the green button to call. 'Hello, best real estate agents in Manhattan how can I help you?' the kind lady over the phone asked me.
'Ah yes hello, miss Montgomery speaking. I am interested in a rent apartment you just placed on your website and I can say I am interested' I said.
'That is perfect, maybe you can stop by this afternoon so we can see over the apartment. You are the first to call, what is your name so I can write it down in the agenda?' she asked me. 'My name is Alex Montgomery, I see you later thank you' 'bye' she said and we finished the conversation.
This way I can finally pick up the left overs stored at Tessa her old house and this way I can finally start on my own. I just closed my laptop when Tim crashed the apartment. 'What are you doing home?' I asked. 'Is that a way to treat your boyfriend when he comes home early?' he asked a little offended.
'Well I would but it's 10 in the morning. Shouldn't you be at work, working?'
'Smart angel, but no I want to spend the day with you' he said and avoided eye contact. 'You have questions?' I asked him, 'just thought about them but don't be mad or confused you don't have to answer if you are not comfortable' he said. I nodded, 'but I thought we left it behind us?' I said.
'I can't do that angel, you were pregnant and your baby died I feel like we need to close this for good' he said'. 'And how are you planning on doing that huh? What if I don't want that?' I said. 'Angel how could you not want that?' he asked me. 'You could tell me where he is buried or what you would have called him if things were different' he said.
'But Tim things aren't different my son is gone, he isn't here anymore I had years to accept that please do that too' I begged. 'I can't I feel like he is part of me, part of us' 'but he isn't, he wasn't even yours' I snapped. He sighed, he crossed the line again.
'Look if we really are going to talk about my son then it's time for you to open up about your past. You know everything now and it's only fair-'
'Wait a minute there darling, fair you want to talk about fair. You didn't even tell me about Roger being the father or you being pregnant. Why didn't you tell me huh, you didn't trust me did you?' he said.
'You are avoiding the real question here but to answer you no I didn't trust you alright, and why should I the most powerful man with pretty eyes sat next to me as an complete stranger. I won't tell these things to strangers alright' I said. 'Look you want to talk about this fine, but I won't be the only one talking. If you want me to open up to you about this it's your time to talk and open up about yourself to me' I snapped. 'Angel I-' he said but I cut him off.
'No, all I want is a normal life with you Tim is that too much to ask?' I asked him. 'Darling our life will never be normal, ever' he said. 'I know, but as long as you are not talking to me I am not opening up more about this. That is not fair Tim and you know it' I snapped and he knew what I meant. He knew I was right about him and this whole situation.
'Well so much for a nice day out' he said, 'no thank you' I whispered and walked to the kitchen to make some breakfast. Why is he doing this difficult, why can't we just have a day without drama. And now I have to tell him I am going to move out and live in my own apartment. I sighed and made a bowl of yoghurt and some strawberry's. 'Angel, look I'm s-' 'I am moving out' I said stopping his talking. He stared at me for a few moments in silence. This silence is killing me.
'Why I thought you loved me?' he said more asking himself then me. 'I know and I do love you but we talked about this and maybe a little space is good for us' I said. 'Space is that what you call it, because I call it running away like you always do' he snapped. 'Look I am going to watch at this beautiful apartment this afternoon I would appreciate it if you would come' I said and walked to the dining table to eat my breakfast. 'well don't count on me, I can't just stand there and watch you walking out of my life after everything we've been true' he said.
'Tim please, just go with this alright I need this' I begged him. 'You need what a place for your own or space away from me' he confronted me. 'Tim you are acting ridiculous' I said. 'No you are then tell me why you didn't tell me about your son in the first place' he said. 'This again, I thought we left it there in the living room' I said. 'No you left it there, I just dragged it back in here' he said. 'I am not doing this, you know what go feel sorry for yourself I have better more important things to do like my job, degree or my new home. Stay here, i'll go by myself even though I have no idea how to do this because I was in prison for four years' I snapped and walked back to the bedroom.
A little while later when I was changing to something more warm, he walked in the bedroom looking all guilty. 'Angel I-' 'safe it' I snapped. 'I just don't want you to go' he sighed. 'Why can't you tell me that in a normal way without us being in some kind of discussion. I am sick of it Tim, I really am' I said. 'You are not leaving me are you' he asked me.
'And why would I do that?' I asked him, 'because you are angry and because I am a asshole' he said and smile shyly at me. 'Look Tim, just because I want to move out doesn't mean I don't love you anymore. I admit that I don't like these kind of conversations, talking about my past is hard like you know. But this doesn't mean I don't love you anymore so no I am not leaving you and I am not planning to' I said. He smiled 'good' he said kissing my forehead.
'It was great doing business with you' the real estate agent said to me while I signed to contract. I couldn't be more thrilled. I finally have my own apartment. 'I am proud of you darling, you've made it very far already' he said kissing my temple.
I wanted to kiss him back when my phone rang, 'let it' he said while he moved closer to me. 'No wait' I said and got my phone. I saw it was Tessa who was calling me. 'Let me take this alright' I said.
'Tessa hello' I said, 'hello is all you have to say to me?' she snapped. 'Tessa what are you talking about?' I asked a little worried about what caused her terrible mood. While I was on the phone we sat back in Tim's care, and the driver drove us back to his apartment. He started kissing my neck leaving a hickey it tickled so it made me giggle. 'Does this make you laugh?' she asked me. 'It does because I don't know where you are talking about' I said.
'Let me refresh your memory, we were suppose to have dinner yesterday what about that. Look Alex I really thought that you were up to fixing our relationship' she said and I totally forgot about her. It's better to come clean right away. 'Roger stopped by the evening before' I whispered. All I could hear was silence, 'oh' she said. 'I was emotionally drained so I forgot I'm sorry' I said. 'No don't be I understand now, what did he tell you?' she asked me.
'He was telling Tim about me, and our son' I said. I heard her gasp for air, 'Tim didn't know?' she asked. 'No, I didn't know how to tell him so Roger did and well he even had an old picture of me pregnant' I said. 'Stop please, you don't have to say anything' she said. 'We can reschedule soon I promise' I said to her. 'Yes of course don't even mention it I'm just glad you didn't give up our relationship' she said. 'Yes of course not, I won't just give up Tessa I see you soon alright' I said and I pressed the red button.
'She changed her mind very fast' Tim said, 'I don't blame her she saw what he did to me, how he ruined me' I said. He nodded, 'I would have called him Matthew' I said out of the blew. I thought about this aspect my whole life, from the moment he was born he was and still is Matthew even though I can't visit him. 'Then he is called Matthew' he said grabbing my hand. 'I know you want to know more, but there is not much more that I know either. My parents took care of the funeral no one attended. I didn't had time to recover or grieve. They wouldn't let me, not my parents and not Roger' I said.
'Where were Rogers parents in all this?' he asked me. 'Well his parents weren't involved, they just weren't there. I doubt they even know' I said and he kissed my shoulder. 'Just for what it's worth, I would've been happy to know that you were pregnant' he said and kissed my cheek. 'I know, but that is you Tim and Roger is Roger and he won't change a thing. At least I know that he won't bother us anymore then he already did' I said and kissed him back.
He filled my glass with some kind of juice while he filled his own glass with champagne. 'Cheers to you my beautiful woman who is strong and independent and will be just fine' he said and he clinked our glasses together. I took a sip and looked at his handsome posture, 'you know that I love you right?' I said to him.
He put his glass back on the counter. He took my hand in his. I know that, and I love you more' he said and kissed my forehead. 'We will be fine' I said, he nodded. 'I don't know what I am going to do without you' he said and squeezed my hand. 'You will be fine, I can focus more on my schoolwork when I am alone. That is something I hardly do when I am around you and at this moment my degree is everything' I said and he nodded. 'I know that, I just hope you won't forget me while you are there' he said. 'Don't worry about that, we will be spending time together a lot of times besides school or work alright' I said and kissed his hand as a little assurance.
'Promise me you won't isolate yourself, and that we will be fine' he said. 'I promise' I said. 'Alright, then something else. My parents invited us over dinner tomorrow again. Will you go with me, they are dying to see you again' he said. 'Of course I go with you, I just hope your sister will behave this time' I said. 'I think she will, you are part of my happiness and she cares about me so she has to accept this' he said. I really hope he is right, that it's true what he is saying. But my guts is telling me that will not be the case.