"Oh my god, I like Harry."
"Uh huh."
"Oh my god, I like Harry."
"Yeah, well this is awkward because everyone already knows that you do and that's literally all you have been saying for the past thirty minutes. Also, can you stop shooting my shoulder? I'm pretty sure it's gone numb."
I dropped the laser gun to the ground and rubbed my temple. "You knew this and you didn't tell me?"
"Actually, I knew it and I did tell you. It's you who's been playing games," Mel replied, taking off her vest and rubbing her shoulder.
"Does everybody know this?" I asked exasperatedly.
"Well, basically everyone but Harry and Jason. Jason's still convinced that he has a second chance with you, bless that poor boy. And well, Harry, he kinda just doesn't understand human emotions as well as the rest of us."
"Fuck me."
"Well, maybe Harry would've known if you said that but..."
I glared at her as she batted her eyelashes at me innocently.
I wasn't able to stay angry because as soon as I thought about it again, my face flushed with embarrassment. "People knew?"
"Dude. Everyone knew."
"My life is over."
Mel rolled her eyes. "You'll be fine. Nothing's changed besides the fact that you are now aware of your feelings."
I shook my head. I can never face anybody again.
"The real issue is," Mel sang before staring deeply at me, "what are you going to do with this new found information?"
I furrowed my brows. "What do you mean?"
"You know, are you gonna tell Harry or...?"
"Definitely not. Are you kidding me? Why would I tell him?"
"Okay, that was just a suggestion."
"Listen, he is not going to know. If he does, he'll only think that he won. And he didn't, okay?"
Mel cocked her head and looked at me questioningly. "Won what?"
"He's been playing me this whole time. If he knows that he actually managed to get me to like him, he'd get the last laugh. I can't let him know, the fuck."
"Listen, things happen when there's a miscommunication between people."
"There's no miscommunication. He told me exactly how he felt and I have nothing to say back to him. He couldn't get what he wanted and now he's done with me. There nothing more to say. I'm tired of let ting him just walk in and out of my life as he pleases, okay Mel? I don't have time for this anymore."
"I understand," Mel huffed.
"Then why are you acting so upset?" I questioned, giving her a suspicious look.
Mel shook her head. "Nothing. It's just I was really rooting for you two."
...
I chose to walk home. I couldn't deal with Mel's laughter as she hollered "Damn, bitch! You really didn't know that you liked him? You dumb as shit."
Well, she's right. I am so fucking dumb. Shit, you don't like someone that occasionally stalks you and is rude to you that's not okay. The only bright side was that Harry most likely didn't know about my feelings for him and will never know. I was gonna handle these emotions like I do with the rest of my problems: tuck them away until everything builds up and causes me to hate myself.
It's probably not the best idea, but it's what I'm gonna do anyways.
At least I realized now and not earlier. I can't imagine what I would have been like if I told him that I did like him. He would have probably fucked me over twice as much.
I hate him so much.
And I hate that I don't hate him as much as I want to.
I hate that he's making me feel the same way Bianca felt towards Patrick in 10 Things I Hate About You.
I hate that as I was here catching actual feelings for him, he made up his own and discarded the facade when it was convenient for him.
I hate myself.
I got home in a state of self pity. When I entered the kitchen to get something to stress eat, I saw my parents looking frustrated.
"Yo, what's up? Is something wrong?" I asked, walking closer to them.
"No," my dad answered abruptly.
My mom shook her head. "It's just – this job, it isn't making as much as we were expecting."
I furrowed my brows. "What are you talking about?"
"When your father took this job, they were promising him way more and it seems like those claims might have been false promises."
"Oh."
"It's not that bad," my father intervened. "I don't understand why they would lie about that though. And you know that it's not cheap to move and we were really hoping that the extra money could pay for the cost of moving."
"And go towards your college funds," my mom added.
"College funds? I have college funds?"
"No," my parents said in unison as I blinked at them.
"But we were hoping to start one," my mom stated.
"Mom, I'm a senior in high school."
"Better late than never," my father pointed out.
"True true."
I then thought of Marcus. He did give me his father's business card.
"Excuse me for a second," I muttered before rushing into my room.
I searched around my room for something that could turn my misery around. If my dad is able to get a job at Marcus's father's company, then that would fix my parents' financial problem. On top of that, I may be able to go back to my old school. I could go around pretending that I'm a ghost because people apparently think that I am. Also, new school would mean no Harry.
No Harry.
I stopped as I saw a small card in the corner of my eye. I inched closer to it to see bold letters read out "Davidson Inc." on it.
If I show this to my dad, he'll probably try to take the job. If he takes the job, then we'll move again.
Sure I'll miss my friends, but it's not like I'm moving to a different planet. We'll probably be able to hang out or something. It's not like I'm foreign to leaving people behind.
If we move again, there'll be no Harry. I wouldn't have to see him ever again unless he shows up on the news for selling illegal drugs to middle schoolers. If I don't see Harry again, I can finally get rid of my feelings for good. I would finally be free.
I weighed the pros and cons that the tiny card provided before coming to a conclusion.
"Dad, I have something to show you!"
---
Whale whale whale. What's gonna happen idk nobody knows
I'm sorry for always leaving at a cliff hanger but gotta keep y'all on your toes
Expect the unexpected — but if you expect what's unexpected then you would believe that the unexpected's gonna happen which means that it's not the unexpected, but instead the expected because you expected it. Nvm idk
B