*Chapter 6 "I need you"*
*Allie's P.O.V*
A terrible weight was on my shoulders. It was as if a giant boulder was laid on me and I couldn't straighten up or even catch me breath entirely. A single tear rolled down my cheek. I should have been crying, but I was too numb to even think about crying. There was a giant hole in my heart and I knew nothing would ever be the same. I look like death. I don't even care right now. My eyes were puffy from crying because I couldn't stop crying for the last three days. I was dehydrated, and sore. Sobs racked her body, no one should be able to cry this hard. I didn't even cried this hard when my mom had died. Rejected, I'm not wanted. I stepped outside and the breeze hit my face. It felt good to be outside knowing you can be free with your own thoughts. Nobody to look at you or laugh. Just you and your not so lovely thoughts. I try to think of anything but Kyle. Everything I try to think about that isn't him, slips away from me and I'm back to square one. Kyle. I turn around and see Jax and Max standing behind me.
"Oh, how long have you been standing there?" I asked.
"Eh, not that long. Maybe 3 minutes. Calm down. We are not that creepy," Max said smirking. Jax shoved Max aside.
"Listen Allie, we didn't come here to sway you any type of way, I'm just going to tell you how it is and you are going to listen, okay?" Jax said walking towards me. I nodded my head and waited.
"Kyle is a mess. He's about to be benched for the whole season. You know what he did yesterday? He skipped football practice and when his coach asked why, he told him that he didn't know if he wanted to play anymore. He loves football. Then, I texted him when I got home to see if he was alright and he avoided the question and said he had things to do. At school, he doesn't smile like he used to. He walks around alone and every time someone tries to talk to him, he comes up with some kind of excuse to leave. He's not himself, Allie, and you're not yourself. You are my friend and everything, but you need to learn to forgive and forget because he did nothing wrong. You're changing yourself and no one likes it. You can change everything about yourself, but you will always be the same person on the inside. You can't fake who you are forever," he said looking at me. I just stood there. It was like I just got hit in the face and I couldn't move. My eyes started watering and I just broke. Jax sat beside me and I layed my head on his shoulder.
"I'm not who I want to be Jax. I want to be different than who I am. I want to be pretty. I want to have a nice face and I want everyone to like me. I don't want people saying all the mean things they say. And I want Kyle to be my friend," I said.
"Allie, he is your friend. Just talk to him," he said looking behind me. I turned around and Kyle was standing there. Jax and Max walked inside and left us alone. It was quiet for a few. He looked exhausted, like he hasn't slept in weeks.
"Well, are you gonna talk. Usually you're the one to talk first," I said rolling my eyes.
"Oh right. Um, Allie, I miss you. You don't know how hard it has been knowing that I couldn't talk to you. I want you to know that I NEVER said that you were just a tool to me. The truth is, I was going to yell at you that day for not telling me about the post. Instead, it didn't go as I planned it to. I need you," he said looking at me. I walked up to him. Without saying anything and I hugged him. Everything that I was worried about before went away and I felt complete again.
Who knew that the one person I pushed away was the one I needed the most. Why does it have to be you? Of everyone in this school. It has to be you that I need. Why? Why is it hard for me to live without you? Why does my life fall apart when I push you away? Why do I need to have you so close in order for me to relax and be me? Why? He hugged me back.
"I missed you so much. Never do that again. Ever. My life was slowly slipping and falling apart without you. So never do that to me again," He murmured.
"Never again. I fell apart without you," I said. Realizing that I'm still crying and the sad part of this. Is that I can't stop.
"My life fell apart. It seemed meaningless. I just wanted to lay down and never wake up. It seemed like a dream.," I said. Around him I felt safe. I felt like nothing could hurt me except him. If he wanted to he could break my heart in half.
"When you walked up to Tristan and flirted with him, sat in his lap. You changed how you looked, started wearing girly clothes, painted your nails pink, started wearing makeup and wore heels. It made me mad that you were changing so much without even thinking about who was getting affected by all this. If you haven't noticed Nicolo, Elijah, Max, and Jax. When they see you like this. They worry. They worry that you're going to do something you might regret. I worry. We don't want to lose you. We don't want you to change. I don't want you to change who you are. You're perfect the way you are," He said. He took my hand and pulled me to the closest car window.
"Look at yourself. Are you happy with who you have become and what you look like right now," He asked. I looked at myself.
"Why are you trying so hard? Why try so hard to please the sluts and jocks of this school when you aren't even happy with yourself doing so? Why try so hard to please people that don't even see that you're perfect just they way you are? Why do you care about all their negative thoughts about you when they are probably insecure themselves?" He asked. He's right...
"Why have you changed for people who don't care?," He asked. Why did I change for people that don't care? Why?
Luca... Luca wants the old me...
"Luca wants the old me," I said.
"He probably meant that he wants the old happy, cheery, confident person from when you were little. Ever since you've come here. You've been reserved, insecure, upset looking. It looks like you have questions that you want answered, but no ones answering them. Why have you changed? What's your past story Allie? Don't you think it's time to tell me? You've only ever told me snippets of your past. Never the whole thing " he said.
"Can we go to the courtyard garden?" I asked. He smiled and nodded. He gave me one last hug and tickled me. I laughed.
"S-Stop," I laughed.
"There's that gorgeous laugh," He chuckled.
"Oh hush it," I laughed. I playfully pushed him. He pouted. I rolled my eyes. We walked inside. We walked through the halls. Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to look at us. Whispers erupted down the hall.
Is she his tool again?
Oh hush we all know he's just using her.
Okay that's just annoying.
I bet he just said some girly line and she fell for it.
I stopped and looked at the guy who said that. He was smirking. It was the same dude. I grabbed his collar and slammed him into the lockers.
"I just love the fact that I beat you up before. I told you to stop and what do you do. You ignore my warning and do the exact opposite. Do you want to end up in the hospital," I laughed.
"Maybe I do. I mean you are just his tool. That's all you are so what are you going to do to me. You can barely throw a punch," He laughed. I laughed with him. I kneed him and kicked him to the ground. I punched his face and stomach. I kicked him one last time and got up.
"Who said I couldn't throw a punch. By the looks of it. I'm the one that's standing and you're the one that's on the ground unconscious," I smirked.
"Ms. Valentini!," Mr. Biggs said.
"Hey! Fat Face! You took my advice didn't you! You lost a few pounds," I smiled.
"You know the drill. Call the ambulance. He needs it," Kyle laughed.
"Already done. Glad to see you two back on track. Especially you Kyle," He laughed. I laughed with him. We walked down the hall to the courtyard. I opened the courtyard doors and walked in. Bella, Elijah, Nicolo, Max and Jax were sitting.
"ALLIE! PUSHED ME!," Kyle whined. I glared at him and pushed him.
"He tickled me first!!," I pouted.
"She pushed me again!!," Kyle whined.
"He tickled me to death!," I said pointing at him.
"WELL! You're the one who beat someone up and called Mr.Biggs! Fat Face," He said. I pouted. They laughed.
"You know you're not allowed to beat people up and call teachers names like that," Nicolo said.
"But! Fat Face was laughing!!!!!," I whined. Kyle and I sat down with the rest of the people
"Allie," Jax said.
"FINE!," I said throwing my hands up in the air.
"Don't look now but Mr. Matthews is walking over to here," Bella smiled.
"I hate that guy. There's something off about him," I smiled back.
"Ms. Valentini," His deep voice boomed. I got up and turned.
"Yes! Mr.Matthews," I said.
"Aren't you supposed to be in class," He questioned.
"Mr. Matthews. Aren't you supposed to be teaching a class," I questioned.
"This is my prep period," He said
"Well since you asked. My rank in my grade alone is 1. Also my rank in this entire school is 1. My ACT and SAT scores are the highest in this country. If you don't believe me. Check the website. I beat the Tonelli family's, score. My score is right next to my 2 brothers and Kyle. I take the graduation test and pass with flying colors. I don't need to attend class because I already turned in and did all the homework for this year. We all did. So I suggest you take care of yourself because honestly I'm perfectly fine," I smirked.
"No need to get feisty. I was just asking," He chuckled.
"Oh! I'm not being feisty. I'm being sassy. Right Kyle," I asked.
"That's right!" He said.
"Yeah! Please don't get her into a Feisty mood," Max said.
"Please don't," Nicolo agreed.
"Besides what is up with you Mr. Matthews. If that's even your real name," I said.
"That is my name," he said laughing. He looked away from my eyes quickly. He's lying.
"No it's not," I smirked. He looked at me seriously. His eyes darkened.
"Last time I checked, you didn't know me, Ms. Valentini," he smirked and walked back into the classroom. There is something going on and I'm going to find out what it is. The guys looked at me and I shrugged.
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