(Requests in making! This was an old draft I figured I should probably publish?)
Enjoy! 💙
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"Nathan... I don't know things are weird between us. Besides that he's not a little kid I'm sure he can look after himself?" I was hoping he wouldn't make me do this.
"Please (Y/N), doctors told us that he isn't supposed to leave the bed before at least two days recovery"
Of course. I always seemed to be the one person to get caught in the gears of bad scenarios. Just receiving a sudden urgency call from Nathan less than an hour ago seemed as just another errand, the obvious assumption involving Elena. Similar to last week when Nathan had to rush into the emergency room after a sudden phone call from Sullivan. That call had involved Samuel getting caught in shootout in his last job with Sully and resulted in him bleeding to near death on a hospital bed. Course that brings me up to the present day. Sam was still in recovery.
In this very house of course.
"I know you two have split for what... two months? But Sully's outta town and Elena needs me in the hospital. If you haven't noticed she's on the verge of going into labour?!" God this guy can be melodramatic when he wants to be. But in fairness, he did have a valiant reason for it. Elena was due any day now and you can't fold from the table with that in the pot. I had no other escape route from this. I was the last resort and Nathans only option since he cared so much for his big brother.
And, I guess a small part of me did too.
"Fine, fine. But you owe me for taking care of your idiot brother"
"Thank you. All I'm asking is that you just check up on him now and then and please don't let him get up no matter how many times he says he's feeling better."
"I've babysitted big boys before I got this"
"Heh, sure you have. I'll be back soon"
"I'll hold you to that" soon watching the door clap shut within seconds set my heartbeat racing. Alone in Nate and Elena's home with my ex in the next room really didn't help set my nerves but rather exceed them knowing what I had agreed to. It had been truly awkward ever since we called it quits after the balantant argument we both stirred up where we both ended up dealing out our honest dictations into enraged words. Words, that slowly lead to the relationship crumbling the higher the amps went. Sam soon became fed up slamming the door shut and shouting the final words, "you know I should have never met you!" and was never seen again. He left town. Left everything and seemed to go off radar for weeks until this near death experience brought him back on the map about a month and a half later.
But, all that was the past. I still felt this insistent hatred toward him. Yet, I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss having him around. I despised coming home to that empty apartment each and every night and getting into a cold empty bed. I missed his embrace, his teasing and his witty charm. God I even missed the musk of cigarettes and cologne that would fog the vast majority of the rooms and not to mention still cling to the bedsheets. That empty side of the bed...
It was all nothing more than a memory now.
Although as of right now I had to take care of him whilst Nathan was away. I discovered Sam still asleep on the living room sofa like before, his torso dressed in blood stained bandages after he received another bullet wound to his collection alongside a few scattered cuts and scrapes here and there. He had known I was in the house previously, yet I figured he had presumed I'd left and not stuck around. I would have done just that only Nathan had requested me back.
Prescription bottles stacked the coffee table and I noticed they were prescribed doses of painkillers. Pretty strong ones I might add. I took a second glance to the other bottles and noticed they were all mainly painkillers. Jeez, that bullet must have tore his nerves into the most agonising rips. I guess getting shot by a pretty powerful weapon isn't going to be a walk in the park in regards recovery. Nathan would tell you that much after his experiences.
Lost in a trance Sam suddenly stirred on the sofa, wincing and bemoaning in his sleep as he tried shifting his position but only brought more discomfort onto his body. An attempt was made holding his side in a prevention of him falling off the sofa. And I knew he'd be even more of a hassle if that occurs. Miraculously, it worked, as his fidgiting immediately paused and he remained completely still as if the touch had startled him.
"Please stay asleep" Mentally praying, I quickly retracted myself and took a step back watching his chest calmly rise and fall. I found myself staring and suddenly felt an emotion of empathy wash over me. I had come to realise how I never even visited Sam when he was in hospital or even here when Nathan allowed him to recovery with company. I would have been the one to do just that only I didn't want to see him anymore after all that had happened between us. Well look at me now. I'm here.
"I'm sorry Sam" I whispered grasping the loose cover he had over his body and pulling it up over his exposed torso. Feeling sudden tears bead in my eyes I pushed myself from his side and sat at the kitchen island with a glass of water and my phone. What was happening to me? Was my mind telling me to give him a second chance? Did I need him? Did I--
"It's my fault..." his hoarse voice coughed from the sofa pushing my mental thoughts aside. "I shouldn't have..." a series of agonising grunts and grumbles followed his words as he appeared to be attempting to rise from his position.
"Sam please lay down!" worried for his well being I arose from the table and was quickly at his side ushering him to lay down again. "You're not supposed to strain your body"
"Even after everything... You still care about me" a faint smile grew on his face and I suddenly felt myself step back.
"Just lay down..." was the only response I could manage and I knew there was so much more I would have said but figured keeping it hidden was the easiest solution. We were two separate indivduals on opposing sides of a brick wall like before we met and two months of separation had created it. Standing here talking to him now was however rekindling old memories. Memories I didn't want myself to fall into all over again as it will only remind me of why I left him in the first place.
Silence soon held the tense atmosphere, the grandfather clock beating and the traffic outside the walls minimumly bringing life into the room. I attempted to leave the awkward ambiance but Sam quickly stopped my tracks.
"You know I miss you..."
No, please no.
"I miss us..."
Don't.
I couldn't move. My posture frozen and my mind insisting I hear him out where my gut was the only part of me shouting that I get away before he continues.
"I know I said some shitty things that day. I hated myself for it ever since..."
"Sam please don't start this" I found my voice yet my position was still anchored. "Because I don't think things will ever be the same between us... and, I don't think saying you miss me will somehow have me jumping back into your arms as if nothing had happened. You really hurt me"
Silence.
"And I know it'll just happen all over again"
I found myself turning to him with a sigh ready to say that this was the end, but he had risen to his shaking feet with distraught and slight rheumy eyes. Before I could point out the obvious he pushed his hand to me in prevention, "(Y/N) it won't! Just... Just please give me one more chance!"
"Sam, I can't"
"You wanna know something (Y/N)! I fucking need you alright! I can barely look after myself and when I left look what happened to me! I got shot!" our eyes met for a brief second before I averted my own away. "I couldn't control myself when I left that day. I was so goddamn pent up that I went and did something stupid" his head bowed and his next words grew faint, "when that bullet hit me, I thought, finally this is happening, because everything I had was already gone..."
"Sam..." how could he say such a thing. Thinking that getting shot was the solution to his problem. He was going to be an uncle to Nathan's baby girl for crying out loud! He had an amazing group of friends that were more family and he... He had had you. Unfortunately, I think that was going to stay the same.
"(Y/N) I'm a mess. I drink, I smoke, I lie and hell I treated you like crap!" he fell into the sofa again with both his hands curtained over his face as the sounds of him crying filled the room. "You know what? You're right. Go. Just leave me like I left you... I don't deserve you. Like you said I'll only hurt you again"
I didn't know what to do. Sam really was a torn ball of emotions. I had never seen such a side to him. It was almost as if he had been turned inside out, where his true inner emotions were finally broken free and his self you'd only known for two months gone into hiding inside. You hadn't cracked his shell and discovered what he really was.
A big softie whose emotions were taking over his mind. He was confused. He was desperate.
He was in need.
In need of that one person he knew could only handle him.
He needed you.
The only question is, were you going to fufil his need?
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Sorry if this was long and a little boring but It's different from the smut and fluff so I thought I'd add it to the book!
Lemme know what you thought and if you're interested to see if it all works out or if the reader leaves Sammy for good?
STAY AWESOME! ✌