(QUICKLY! THIS IS HAPPENING AT THE SAME TIME AS NIALL'S POV IN THE LAST CHAPTER, IDK HOW TO SPECIFY THAT PROFESSIONALLY SO IM JUST SAYING IT NOW PLS CONTINUE 👏😁)
"Don't let yourself become so concerned with raising a good kid that you forget you already have one." - Unknown
T E L L I E
I wish I knew what happened to Corey. I didn't even know if he was alive and it pained me far to much. But he had to be... I would know if he was dead... But it seemed impossible. I watched him fall. I watched him jump, and I was ready to jump after him. If there hadn't been someone watching I would've. If they hadn't called the police and I hadn't been held back I would've jumped after him.
I sighed, my head against the car window and my fingers drumming impatiently on my thigh. It was terrible. My thoughts were lost. My mind was exploding, and tears kept falling to my cheeks.
Dad was pissed at me. He hadn't spoken to me at all except when Harry called. I couldn't believe Arizona had cancer... It's just so... Weird...
My thoughts were cut off by dad getting out of the car slamming the door shut.
Fuck.
He's gonna yell at me as soon I get in house... I bit my lip, slowly undoing my seatbelt and pulling my phone from my pocket. I needed to know what happened. I needed to know if he was alive. If my best friends heart was still beating.
New text from: Liam❕❗❕❗
They think he'll be alright, he's in surgery so we don't know much. I'll text you when we find something out. But he'll most probably be okay. Don't worry about him Tells. I'll keep you posted. Don't think to much about it. He'll be fine xxx
New text from: Daddy🆔
Get in the house or I'm locking the front door and the car. And I'm not joking
I was still biting my lip when I opened the car door. I didn't want to go inside, I knew the moment I did I be yelled at. But then again it's not like I didn't deserve it... But Corey jumping was burnt into my memory. It was all I could picture.
I trudged towards the front door where dad was standing looking down at his phone while unlocking the door. I was in for it. I knew that. And I didn't know if I would ever get out of it all.
"What is wrong with you?" Dad hissed as I followed him into the house. "What were you thinking? Running off to fucking Dover. Are you stupid?"
"Corey was gonna kill himself." I muttered while biting my fingernail. Dad just rolled his eyes, closing the front door. "He jumped off a cliff I watched him...! Dad he literally jumped off a cliff-"
"You were outside!" He cut in. "You should've just came inside and told me-Not run away like that. Do you even think?"
"Maybe I don't!"
"Don't raise your voice at me Cristell Jayde." He groaned. "God you're a fucking nightmare! You bloody are! If I knew your were gonna be this much trouble when your mum died I would've sent you to someone else. I can't believe the bullshit you've been pulling. I was done with tolerating the other stuff but going to Dover is just plain ridiculous. Do you think I have the time to drive to Dover and back in a day, just because you were being an idiot?"
Ouch.
"Corey was-"
"I don't care about what Corey was doing! You are my daughter, and you should know better then to run off to fucking Dover 'cause someone else is!"
"Well I don't."
"Obviously! I don't get what you gain from this-any of the bullshit you've been pulling. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with you now. No matter what you never get the message. You're like your fucking mother. You go ahead and do the most stupidest stuff, then decide you don't like how it turns out. She was a fucking bitch, and it looks like you inherited it."
"My mother wasn't a bitch-"
"It is not your place to decide that. You never knew her Cristell." He seethed.
Ouch.
"Even if she was a bitch at least she loved me unlike you..."
"I hate to break your perfect little imaginary vision about your mother," Dad snapped, "but its hard to think she ever cared about anyone besides herself. And you know why? 'Cause she fucking faked her death, then ended up in prison 'til you were seven. And only once did she actually decide she wanted to see you. So don't you dare tell me she wasn't a bitch. You think you knew her and you can say you did but you fucking didn't. You were six the last time time you saw her."
"Your lying." I muttered tears in my eyes. He was lying. I knew he was lying, he had to be. It was hard to concentrate now. I couldn't help but wonder what was happening to Corey. Was he dead? Alive?
"Do I look like I'm lying?" Dad snapped. "But I'm not discussing that with you right now. You're going to talk about what the hell you were thinking running off to Dover!"
"Fuck you." I snapped, stalking towards the staircase.
Dad scowled. "Excuse me?"
"I said, fuck you." I hissed, starting to walk upstairs just to have dad grab my bicep and drag me back into the foyer.
"Want to say that one more time Cristell?"
"Let go of me."
"That's it. I'm fed up you. You and your fucking little attitude. I'm sick of it." He snapped as he released my bicep. "First it was the cutting, then you shoplifted, then you snuck of to a damn party. And you still didn't get the message after that! So you ditched school, and now this! This is worse then the shoplifting-"
"Corey was going to kill himself! What was I supposed to do? Let him?" I could picture him falling. The way he kept straight from the cliffs.
"You should've come inside and told me! But no, you had to go off after him. Is this all for attention? 'Cause that's what it's coming across as Cristell!"
"Maybe you should pay attention to me then!"
"Are you saying I don't do that already!"
"You never do! You always ignore me until I do something! You never care about me and you never have and you yell at me for everything and then-then-"
"Bullshit Cristell! Fucking bullshit."
"No it's not!" I snapped then I frowned. "Corey jumped of a cliff Dad you can't be pissed at me for-
"I can!" He cut in. "What were you thinking!" Dad shouted. "Tellie you can't just run off like that no matter what the circumstances!"
"You-"
"Get in your room! I'm sick of you, just go. Don't come out 'til I say you can. And that doesn't mean come out tomorrow morning it means stay there 'til I come up and say you can come out." He hissed as El slowly entered the foyer nervously biting her lip.
I scowled. "I hate you."
"Is that supposed to make me feel bad or something? 'Cause it's not gonna work. Never has. So go upstairs, and stay there." Dad replied curtly. "Go, now. Don't make me ask again." I looked to Eleanor, and she just sighed sympathetically.
"Tellie you left us here worried sick..." She said.
"I watched my best friend jump off a cliff-"
Dad cut me off. "Cristell Jayde go upstairs!"
"I-"
"Go!"
I could only cry as I stormed up the staircase. Corey could be dead right now. He could've died a second ago, he could be dying now. He could die with in a minute. He could die in a second. And my last memory of him would be watching him jump.
I stalked into my room, slamming the door shut before collapsing to the ground. Then I screamed; the way I wanted to since I watched him fall.
Corey was right. I'd never kill myself. As much as I wanted to say I would, I could never go through with it. If cutting wasn't an addiction I would've stopped months ago.
But it's like smoking and alcohol. Some times people get so addicted it's their life. Sometimes they don't. Or sometimes it's like me-they do it 'cause they're addicted to the feeling it gives them.
I never wanted my life to be like this. Corey trying to kill himself, dad hating me, my wrists covered in scars. If only I'd never cut that time in May... Maybe-just maybe I would be happy. I'd like to be happy. I haven't felt fully happy for so long. But really, I don't think I've ever felt happiness at its best since I was three.
I didn't even know I was crying 'til I found myself wiping the tears away with my sleeve. I always hated crying, but now it was just one of those things I did a lot.
Like cutting, crying sometimes solved everything.
I was running down the dark hallway my heart pounding as I ran as fast I could from the footsteps following me. Who ever it was, was going to kill me.
But I didn't want to die. I wanted live and be happy. I wanted to see people again, I wanted to feel the sun burning in my skin. I wanted snow to run through my fingers. Not a knife go straight through my heart. The sound of sharp, high pitched screams surrounded me as I fell to the ground.
My head spinning as I tried to get back up. I needed to get back up. The footsteps behind me got louder as I scrambled to my feet.
I have to get out of here.
I ran down the dark hallway the screams still filling my head as a light appeared.
I stopped running. My eyes widening as the sight. I could see the bright light I'd been trying to reach for ages, and the dark figure was no longer standing there to stop me. I could go in there...
I outstretched my arm, my fingers glistening in the light.
I want to be in there.
Before I could even take one step I was pushed to the ground. The dark, masked figure standing over me.
They smirked at me, before plunging a dagger in my chest. Then pulling off their mask. And there I lay, looking up at myself. A dagger in my own heart.
I wanted to scream again when I woke. But someone how no sound would come. The dream seemed to make sense when I thought about it.
"What are you doing on the floor Tellie?"
I hadn't even noticed dad was leaning against the wall, watching me closely as I sat up my heart pounding harder with every second.
"I-I..." I couldn't say anything. I didn't feel like expressing my feelings to him-saying anything to him really.
He flat out said he's sick of me...
"I didn't mean what I said to you before." He said bluntly. "You know I love you baby girl."
"No you don't." I hissed. "You don't care about me at all."
"Tells you know I do. But what am I supposed to do when you pull all that crap? You went all the way to Dover and left me and El here worried sick trying to figure out where you were. I get it your a bit reckless, I'm pretty sure you get that from me anyway, but darlin' following Corey to Dover was just to far. You should've just thought about it first. The whole problem would've been solved by telling an adult. I know you meant well, but this stuff can't happen again."
I bit my lip as he sat on the floor next to me. I hadn't even noticed my bedroom lights were on...
"I was talking to Liam before..." Dad muttered.
"Is Corey okay...?"
"They don't know yet. Nobody's telling him and Destiny a single thing. Apparently that's the new thing at hospitals. Not telling the kids parents what's happening, I didn't get told anything when you were in hospital 'til like an hour after they knew you were fine."
"What if Corey dies...?" I whispered, drawing my knees up to me chin.
Dad put an arm around me."Don't think like that Tells."
"Why?"
"Just don't."
"He can't leave me...he can't."
"Teej-" I pushed him away from me.
"Don't touch me." I muttered. "Please don't touch me..."
Dad sighed, but he didn't look pissed a single bit. "Tellie, you said that Corey jumped off the cliff...was that true...?
"Are you implying you listened to me?"
"Tellie did he?" I said nothing. "I know it's late and I went a bit over the top before but you have to tell me exactly what happened. I need to know love... Tellie just answer me."
"You can't tell Liam..." I muttered.
*
My breath was shaking when I walked downstairs. My legs were like jelly and I wasn't sure if dad was going to be pissed off at me or not. But I honestly wasn't sure if I was meant to care. Corey could've been dead at this moment. He could've died.
I bit my lip, and then I walked into the kitchen.
"I told you not to come downstairs." Dad said bluntly. He was leaning against the bench, his phone in his hand before turning to me. "I made it quiet clear. And you weren't exactly pleasant when I went up to speak to you before either."
"I'm sorry..." I muttered.
"Yeah I've heard that before." He sighed, looking away from me. "You understand why I'm pissed off at you don't you?"
"I ran of to Dover...without asking...or telling you where I was... I'm sorry..." I was still pissed at him. I wanted to scream at him and say he had no right to call a bitch. I wanted to ignore him forever.
"Tellie you say your sorry every time you do something like this and then you go and do something again. And then you get pissed off that I yell at you."
"You don't have to call me a bitch." I defended. "And say your sick of me and that I'm a nightmare."
Dad scowled. "Your thirteen Tellie you have no idea what your talking about."
"Y-"
"Do you know how many times I've nearly lost you? Do you know how many times I've had stand around going out of my mind because I'm close to loosing you? You nearly killed yourself the other month and then there's all the other times I've nearly loosed you! And I mean all that stuff I said before when you pull this shit!"
"Thanks..."
"I don't want to make you feel bad or anything Tells, but when you do this crap; I will get pissed off."
"You don't have to yell at me!"
"Tellie!"
"You don't!"
"Go to bed Teej..." Dad muttered. "Now. Just go..."
"I hate you."
"You said that before love. And as I said it doesn't effect me in the slightest way."
(A/N
SHORT FILLER CHAPTER
I MEAN WE AINT GO FIND OUT ANYTHING BOUT COREY IN TELLIE'S POV ;)
WHILE I THINK OF IT IVE BEEN TOLD SOME STUFF ABOUT PPL COPYING MY BOOK... SO IM JUST GONNA SAY IT NOW. MY BOOK IS NOT AN IDEA BANK OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT!
THANK YOU BYE :)
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