Dedicated to : ExquisiteBeautie for giving everything I write a chance. Love you,Babes!
I moved all of the furniture out the way, grunting because the sofa had to outweigh me by at least fifty pounds. Still, it had to be moved because the last thing I would want is to sprain my ankle on a rug twenty-four hours before my fourth show. We were now in Kansas City, Minnesota for three days. I will never fully understand the tour schedule, but I think I have the basics. Since the tour is starring the boys, if they have a high fan base in the city they stay longer. If they have a small, but still noticeable fan base, that stay for a day- jam packing a meet and greet and show in one day. Confusing, right? Then, because of the fact some of us on tour are still minors (meaning Mila, Trey, and Me) they still have to give us break days. Todays was one of those break days.
The girls went to the mall but I decided to stay behind. It’s been weeks since I've danced just to dance and it was starting to irritate me. We’ve been performing every day for the last five days. Today was the only break day for five more days. Tomorrow is a meet and greets, then the concert, and then we're back on the road. I needed the relief of doing something I wholeheartedly enjoyed, and while shopping usually made that list, it wasn’t at the top. Plus, I wanted to be alone with having to hear someone complaining, or having to fake a smile and endure fake like from a girl I know doesn’t like me.
Ever since that day backstage Mila’s attitude with me has gotten increasingly worse; from stank looks to under the breath comments. I can't even describe my urge to say something to her. Being a firm believer that biting your tongue harms your soul, she doesn't have much longer for this attitude to continue. Still, I’m trying to be the bigger person and just leave her alone by putting distance between her. Granted, we share a tour bus and hotel rooms, so not that much space can separate us, but something is always better than nothing.
I brushed her away from my mind as I listened to the beat of the song playing. The music floated across the room, the only noise I could hear and would even acknowledge. The rough beat engulfed my body and I began to dance. Whatever came to my mind I did. This was my happy place. I could be as soft as I wanted; as slow as I wanted; as fast as I wanted. Music accepted me for me and I loved it for itself. It was my life.
The upbeat rhythm of one song ended as another began. My throat was parched from all of the previous movement so I turned to get some water, only to be met with the four amused faces of Backstreet. Startled would not begin to describe my reaction; I was terrified! Imagine being in your own little words, alone, and then four people of the opposite gender just magically appear. Then add on the fact you don’t really want to be bothered with any of their company. Now you have my emotions right now.
"Y'all are ugly for that." I commented once my heartbeat slowed down. "And how did y'all get in this room? It was locked."
Matty held up a key card with a devious smirk to match it. "Keisha gave us her card."
"And you used it because...?" I asked, grabbing my robe and putting it over myself. Standing in the middle of a room by myself in a sports bra and shorts with four hormonal teen boys? Yeah, not a good idea. "Get out."
"Ouch." Trey said. "That hurt."
"And a lot more will hurt if you ever sneak up on me like that. Excuse me." I went to the kitchen while also grabbing my clothes off of my bed. I got a bottle of water from the refrigerator and went in the bathroom. Sighing, I put on my outfit of pink skinny jeans, a blue flowing tank-top with 'L♥VE" in black and black sneaker-wedges with rhinestones on the back. My hair was in a neat bun on top of my head, and my accessories a pink pair of lips and black bangles. I then took my daily pill, placing the bottle deep I my makeup pouch before zipping it up again.
I walked back out the bathroom and groaned lightly at the sight of the boys still in my room. Can't they see when someone doesn't want to be bothered? "To be so smart y'all are so dumb." I commented, sitting in a chair since they took over all three beds.
"Ouch, you are just packing on the insults today." Matty replied.
I sighed. "So what do I owe this lovely visit?" Sarcasm fully intended.
"Better." Trey smiled. Dang, his teeth are whiter than mine! How long does this dude brush? Or does he get them whitened?
"Question, how long do you brush your teeth?" I asked him, curiosity getting the best of me. "They're like, really white."
"Forever." Prince interjected. "He takes forever in the morning."
"She wasn't talking to you, chatter-mouth." Trey retorted.
"Like that ever stops me." Prince remained calm, once again on his phone.
This irritated me. "If we're going to sit here, I'mma need you to put your phone up. That's really annoying, it is not that important. "He looked at me, shocked, and I continued to stare at him to let him know how serious I was. “It's called Phubbing."
He sighed, but put it away. A small laugh escaped from CJ's lips. That reminded me of something. I went in my suitcase and pulled out the necklace form last night.
"Thank you." I dropped it in his lap. "I won't need it anymore."
He put it in his pocket, no arguments like yesterday.
"Now seriously." I said. "Why did y'all come in here? And not just knock?"
"That's not fun." Trey said. "And we just wanted to get to know the newest member of the family."
I chuckled. "Family? Cute. We tour together, but we're not family. I don't even know y'all middle name and you don't know mine."
"De'Quan." Matthew De’Quan? Matty, I can see where that came from.
"Anthony." Micah Anthony? Prince, where did that even come from?
"Jermaine." Calvin Jermaine? CJ, okay that one makes complete sense at least.
"Lorenzo-Romelo." Tremaine Lorenzo Romelo? Trey, okay that makes sense too.
They all looked at me, expectant. I had three choices by now.
Kick them out of my room, continue to be unsocial, and live on.
Ignore them and pray they eventually get the memo and leave.
Talk to them and stop being unsocial since they are being genuinely nice in their own creepy way.
As amazing as Option One and Two sounded, I knew it wasn't the right choice at the end of the day. I would be on tour with them for three months. These three months could either be hard and cold or easy and bearable. Well, thinking about it, both will hurt me. No one is telling me to open up and we'll all be best friends, but I will have to act like we are in front of cameras. That will be much easier if I at least have them on an acquaintance level.
"I don't have the time for this." I said.
"It's not like you're doing anything else." Matty pointed out, actually pointing his finger.
"I have a headache. Leave."
"Take an aspirin. Chill." He laughed. Was this a joke to him?
"I swear you're already irritating me and it's only been a week."
"Ouch."
"Get out."
"No."
"Fine." I sat in my bed and put headphones in my ear. I turned the music up as loud as possible to drown out there noise, and surfed through the social networks sites to pass time.
They stayed in the room for another hour or two. Somewhere in this time, I turned off the music and just sat with the headphones in my ears to make it appear like I was really doing something. These boys were really something new. Matty was always cracking a joke on something and Prince was always questioning, well, everything. I have to admit, I didn't even want to see Prince for the simple fact his girlfriend seems to be the overly-jealous type and I do not want to deal with any extra drama this summer. Then I realized if she wants to be petty, let her. I don't want him, he doesn't want me, and so there really shouldn't be any problems. Plus, if there was an issue with it, she should put on her Big Girl Panties and speak to me about it. I'm not one to be rude to ones who are nice, so I'm not going to be ignorant and ignore his questions if he asks them because of her communication. I wasn’t raised that way.
The door opened and chattering voices echoed through the apartment.
"Oh my god, Desi! You should of came this guy was there and he was so-" Star stopped abruptly at the sight I wasn't alone.
"He was so what?" Matty questioned.
"So...not my type!" She played it off, sitting her bags down and crossing over to him. "Heyyy, Baby!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
I laughed at them and focused on something else. Each person –P.Y.T, Tonya, and Leslie- had a minimum of three bags each. We barely had enough room as it was, where were these extra ones supposed to sit?
"How was the trip?" I asked.
"Good." Bree answered, setting her bags by the wall alongside the beds. "You should have came, it feels amazing outside."
"I'll take your word for it." I answered, scooting over as she sat on bottom of the bed. "Had to dance, muscles were stiff."
"She is amazing!" Prince praised. "I mean, y’all might have some competition if she decides to battle you one day."
"You saw her dancing?" Mila asked before anyone could respond.
"We all did." Trey responded, not sensing the anger in her voice as everyone else did. "She's good."
Mila huffed, throwing her bags down and leaving the room. Bree and Star looked at each other before leaving after her, and Tonya sighed, giving me an apologetic look. Leslie ignored the entire thing and went in the bathroom while the boys looked at each other in confusion.
"Should I go after her?" Prince asked.
"Ye-"
"No." I stood up. "I'll go, since I seem to be the problem." I shook my head, putting a sweatshirt on over me with a hood.
"How?" CJ asked.
"Long story." Even though it wasn't, but why stir more confusion in the pot?
I left the room, making sure my key was in my pocket. Wandering the halls, I found them standing by the vending machines. I didn't rush to round the corner; I idled there for a little to hear where the conversation was going.
"I swear I hate her!" Mila raged.
"You need to stop this! Like, seriously Camilla!" Bree said. I took note at the fact I actually liked her real name better than the shorthand version. "It's not even that serious!"
"You're acting like the girl has a hit-list against you or something!" Star chimed in. It calmed me how relaxed her voice was. “She is doing nothing wrong! I mean, everyone and they Auntie know that she's uncomfortable when they come in! You actin' like she invited them in!"
"But why are they there when we aren't, Jailee?" Dang, do all of these girl shave really pretty names?
"Listen, Camilla, you already know Calvin most likely talked them-"
At that point I rounded the corner. "You okay, Camilla?" I asked, already knowing the answer. She glared at me as I stopped about ten feet away from her. "Did I do something?"
"No, you didn't-"
"Yes." Camilla interrupted Bree. "And you know exactly what you're doing."
I furrowed my brows in confusion. "No, I don't. I don't see anything I've done wrong."
"I don't like you talking to Micah. I don't like you being alone with him. I don't like him being in the room with you and I'm not there."
"You say it like I've done any of that on purpose. I never took any of them to the side to ask, or invited them in the room. They took Keisha's key and decided to sneak up on me. You can ask any of them about that. And if you have a problem with that why didn't you just tell me about it instead of sneak-dissin behind my back?"
"If you knew it was bothering me why didn't you stop?" She asked.
"Listen," I sighed. "I don't like to play games. We are both on our way to being eighteen and these games are for sixteen year olds. Now if you had an issue with it, you've had the last week to tell me this yourself instead of me having to hear you diss me around corners and then smile at me when I came into view. I do not want Prince or any of them for that matter. I don't make an effort to talk to him, so if you have an issue with this, go straight to the source. Tell him. So the real question is if this was bothering you why did you never talk to me about it?"
My voice didn't crack as I didn't miss a beat. My words probably seem rude to some people when really, it's the truth. It's been over a week and everyday she's dissed me behind my back about this situation, and smiled in my face when I was in view. I waited for her to come to me, but right now it's time for her to realize I'm not the real issue here.
"Whatever." She waved me off. "You know where I stand with this." She turned in a circle, hands running through her hair. I was about to walk off when I heard her mumble those two words. "Stupid bitch."
It was obvious Star and Bree heard it too by the way they tensed up with shocked facial expression.
"What did you just call me?" I asked, hoping my ears deceived me but certain they didn't.
"Did I stutter?" She asked, facing me now. "You're a bitch only on this tour to fuck shit up."
I took three steps towards her. She was an inch taller than me, but I didn't care.
"I don't know who you think you are, but this isn't going to last. I tried to come to you like a lady, but it seems I have to treat you like a child or someone on the street. I am not the one to fuck with, okay? I don't give a fuck about you, or Prince, or anyone else in that fucking room. I tried to be cool with you, besides the shit you talked behind my back, but I'm done. Disrespect me again, call me anything but Desiree or Lyric, and I will fuck you up like a bitch that just spit on me. Understood?" I stepped back, straightening out my jacket and smoothing my face. "Don't let the pretty face fool you, because I will fuck shit up if I have too. Now we know where I stand."
I walked away, not even glancing back. I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking and ran into someone. Looking up, it was CJ.
"What's taking so long?" He asked. "They wanna talk to all of us?"
"What about?" I asked, trying my best to not let my voice crack from anger.
"The week's schedule." His eyes searched my face. "What's wrong with you? You and Mila get into it?"
I was a little shocked at how quickly he hit the problem, but it vanished. The quiet ones were always the most observant, able to spot the unseen. I was one of them and I could already tell he was one of them too.
"Everything should be fine now." I glanced back, seeing the girls walking back down the hall. "I handled it."