Game 40 – Sometimes, goodbye is overrated
Throughout the evening, I was watching the Carmichael’s interact with each other. They seemed civil enough, well that was their facade, James’ eyes were tense and Cassandra’s action seemed animated.
It’s not my place to ask when I just got acquainted with the couple, it’s just that they seemed unhappy really. Really, this was what marriage does to a couple and people ask me why I wouldn’t want to settle.
The Carmichael is the answer why I wouldn’t want to get married. They’re unhappy with each other. And it's obvious that they’re hurting each other.
Caleb were talking with James, at mukha naman na interesado si James sa sinasabi ni Caleb. Si Cassandra naman ay kausap si mom.
Angelo came beside me and offered me a glass of champagne. I murmured my thanks and proceeded to smile at everyone who looked our way. “Narinig ko mula sa mga lawyers na inaayos mo na yung adoption papers ni Shiloh?”
“Sorry kung hindi ko nasabi sayo agad. But yeah, pinapaayos ko na.”
“Bakit? Hindi pa ba sapat na tinuturing mong parang anak yung bata? Kailangan pa ba talagang i-adopt mo?” Angelo asked, sa buong phase ng relationship ko kay Andy noon ay tutol na talaga si Angelo, lalo na nung nag cheat si Andy at nakabuntis.
He never did approve of it. He tolerated Shiloh throughout the years, ayun lang ang pinagka-iba ni Angelo kay mom. Hindi tinago ni mom yung disapproval niya sa idea at kay Shiloh pero si Angelo, he hid it.
He tolerated it because I asked him to.
Minsan aakalain mo na mas affected pa siya kaysa sa akin sa mga ginawang kagaguhan ni Andy sa akin. Siguro ganun talaga dahil bata palang kami, si Angelo na yung protector. Lumaki siya na hindi lang si Elena yung prinoprotektahan kundi pati kami ni Anya. He was our protector and I guess he was devastated when Andy hurt me before, maybe he thought that he failed me.
“Angelo, you know I value your opinion but you also know that when it comes to Shiloh, I do what I want.” Paalala ko sa kanya. “Angelo, hindi ko nga dugo siguro si Shiloh pero mahal ko yung bata. First child ko siya Angelo kahit anong mangyari at gagawin ko lahat para sa kanya.”
“Alam kong mahal mo si Shiloh. Alam ko yun Emma pero sobra na. Hindi mo na kailangan i-adopt yung bata.”
“Nangako ako kay Sadie Angelo.” I reminded him. Reminded him that there was a promise made between Sadie and me at gagawin ko ang lahat para lang matupad yun.
“And you’ve done your promise. Shiloh was raised with you being her mother. She grew up with a mother’s unconditional love.” Angelo said as he touched me on my arms. I smiled warmly at him. “Sadie would have been happy. You’ve done a wonderful job, Sadie could ask for.”
“Thank you.” sabi ko at niyakap ko siya. Angelo really knew how to comfort me and sometimes I know that he used his way of comforting me to let me agree with him but this time, though I really liked what he said, I won’t agree.
Shiloh needs me to be her legal mother no matter what.
I was yanked out of Angelo’s grasp faster than I could blink. I immediately shot a glare at Caleb who was holding a firm grip in my arms. He was glaring at me too.
At hindi ko alam kung bakit siya nagagalit, siya nga tong hinatak ako kay Angelo! Nakkahiya, ano nalang ang sasabihin ng mga bisita namin?
“Let go of me Caleb.” I hissed. Hoping that only a few could hear it.
Tinanggal niya yung pagkahawak niya sa akin at nag walk out. I shot an apologetic smile at Angelo before following Caleb. Nakita ko siya sa kitchen kung nasaan naghahanda yung staff.
Tinignan ko lang sila at nagsilasisan muna silang lahat. Binalik ko ang tingin ko kay Caleb at tinignan siya ng masama. “How dare you humiliate me like that in front of those people!?”I seethed.
“And how dare you flirt with him in front of me and those people?” He hissed. “Talaga bang kailangan na maglandian kayo sa harap ko? All those touching and embrace! You humiliated me more!” he said as he pointed a finger at me.
I scoffed. “Hindi ako nakikipaglandian kay Angelo! Ano bang tumatakbo diyan sa utak mo at tingin mo lahat ay may malisya? Porket nag-uusap lang kami, naglalandian na agad? Porket niyakap ko siya?”
Napapagod na ako sa mga accusations ni Caleb lagi, lalo na pag kay Angelo, dati rin eto ang pinag-awayan namin. Ano pa bang magagawa ko para hindi na siya mag selos ng ganyan? Nakakapagod lang.
Nakarinig ako ng isang bagay na nabasag at nagbuntong hininga ako. “Mamaya nalang tayo ulit mag-usap.” Sabi ko at naglakad papunta kung saan nanggaling yung tunog.
Pagkarating ko sa study, nakita ko ang mag-asawang Carmichael na nagtitinginan lang na para bang walang nangyari sa loob. Napatingin ako sa lapag at nakita ang nabasag na baso at decanter.
“You’re bleeding.” Cassandra suddenly said. Agad niyang kinuha yung kamay ni James kaso agad din hinatak ni James yung kamay nito. Binaba ni Cassandra yung kamay niya at tinignan ng masama si James. “Let me see your hand, you’re bleeding, for God’s sake.” She told him.
“Stop with the fake concern Cassandra. We’re alone.” James said as if he didn’t know I was with them. “I’m not going to die with this by the way so poor you. Oh wait you’re not poor anymore, I made you rich. Are you sure you want to leave me? You won’t be so lucky marrying someone as rich as I am.”
Cassandra stiffened. Then she smiled icily at him. “Cut the crap Carmichael, we both know Anton could satisfy me not just with wealth but all those pleasures you just can’t seem to.”
I cleared my throat when I saw how James looked at Cassandra, it was as if he would hit her. Hindi ko alam kung gagawin niya pero mas ayos ng sigurado. Parehas silang napatingin sa akin, gulat na nakita ako. “James, I’m a doctor. And judging by the blood on the floor, I’m assuming you need stitches. Would you mind if I offer to stitch it up for you?” I offered.
James smiled. “Not at all.” Cassandra walked out of the study. He then sat on the edge of my desk and sighed. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”
Pumunta ako sa may cabinet kung nasaan yung first aid kit. Lumapit ako sa kanya at umiling nalang. “Ayos lang.” sabi ko at binuksan ko yung first aid kit at kinuha yung disinfectant. “This might sting a bit.” Sabi ko sabay buhos ng disinfectant.
He swore. “Sorry.” He murmured. Nilinis ko yung sugat niya. “We weren’t always like that you know?” he started as I cleaned his cut.
“Were you ever happy James? I mean with your marriage with her?” tanong ko kahit alam kung wala sa place kong magtanong.
“Sa tingin ko hindi, puro away lang ang nangyayari sa amin tuwing nasa iisang kwarto kami.” Pag-aamin niya sa akin.
“So bakit mo siya pinakasalan kung hindi ka naman pala masaya?” tanong ko. I was stitching his cut already.
”I was happy once. But marriage…”
I only nodded. I know what he meant. Marriage sucks. It can ruin everything. It ruined them both. “Pardon me but if you’re unhappy now, why not just end it?” I asked.
He smiled wanly at me. “I can’t. I just can’t. We both made mistakes. We made our bed and we have to lie on it.”
Pagkatapos namin ay nagpunta na kami sa dining room kung nasaan ang lahat at naghihintay sa amin. James sat beside Cassandra as I sat across Caleb.
We ate dinner peacefully.
After dinner, the guests stayed for a drink or two. Nagpunta ako sa study at nakitang nalinis na yung lapag. May bago na rin set ng decanter at mga baso. I poured myself a glass of whiskey.
I drank my whiskey and sat on the settee. My phone rang and I answered it as soon as I saw who it was. “Any news?” tanong ko agad.
“She lives in Highland Park, Illinois.” My P.I., George said. I hired a P.I. when Ralphe asked me to find out about Clara, dahil nga hindi ko makausap si Ian dahil hindi naman kami nun close at ayaw ko na rin tanungin si Elena tungkol dito kaya nag hire na ako ng P.I. to look for her.
I was curious as to where she was.
I furrowed my brow. George found her easily so why not Ralphe? I’m sure he hired a P.I. too. “Panao mo nalaman yan George? Sigurado akong naghire din si Ralphe ng P.I. at bakit nahanap mo si Clara?”
Hindi sa nagtataka ako sa kakayahan ng P.I. ko after all he’s one of the best but still Ralphe is Ralphe. He would also hire one of the best.
“Hindi ko dapat to sinasabi sayo, Emma pero isa ka sa mga pinaka-importanreng kliente ko. Binayaran ako para ilayo ang pag-iimbestiga ni Ralphe Mendez kay Clara dela Merced. Tuwing may lead na yung P.I. nito ay nilalayo ko pa ito.” Pagpapaliwanag niya.
“Sinasabi mo bang binayaran ka ni Ian Areballo para itago parin kung nasaan si Clara?” tanong ko pero hindi ko na kailangan pang marinig ang sagot niya dahil tama ako. Ian paid him. “So tell me, George is she really pregnant?”
“Yes.”
Pagkatapos niyang i–report sa akin ang kalagayan ni Clara ay tinapos ko na rin yung pag-uusap ko sa kanya. Clara clearly didn’t want Ralphe to find her. Hindi ko man talaga gusto si Clara at kaibigan ko si Ralphe, he can be an oaf sometime and if Clare really doesn’t want to be found then I need to tell Ralphe to stop.
So I called Ralphe. He answered the first ring. “May balita ka na Emma?” tanong nito agad sa akin.
Hindi ko alam pero nanghina ako, pakiramdam ko gusto niya talagang mahanap si Clara pero may dahilan siguro si Clara kung bakit. At alam kong dahil yun sa gustong mangyari ni Ralphe. He wanted an abortion.
For Pete’s sake, why couldn’t he man up and take responsibilities?
“I’m sorry Ralphe, pero dead end din eh.” I lied. “Siguro panahon na para itigil mo yung paghahanap mo sa kanya. It looks to me that she doesn’t want to be found. If she really wanted someone to find her, then she would have left tracks. Ayaw sabihin ni Ian at pinahanap ko na siya sa PI ko at wala rin.”
I heard him sigh. “I just can’t believe she would disappear like that. She didn't even say goodbye.”
“Sometimes, goodbye is overrated. Maybe it’s for the best that she didn’t say goodbye.”
“Yeah maybe. I just hate how we ended things up. It was messed up and I doubt that if we ever see each other again, we can be causal.”
I doubt you’d see her again.
“Thank you Emma for helping me. I guess tama ka. Kung gusto talaga ni Clara na magpakita, ginawa na niya ang lahat. She’s not a subtle person.”
And I felt guilty.