Teenage life+puberty=Rapid Life Changes With No Warning. Last night dad called me up raging drunk and made me cry. He was like, "what are you and Thomas up to these days?"
Me: "Umm, nothing. What do you mean?"
Him: "I mean exactly what I said, what are you two up to?"
Me: "Nothing. I guess I don't understand what you're talking about. Is it about yogurt today?"
Him: "I'm talking about everything, you & him hanging around each other all the time. I don't see what you're doing differently." And that's how it went for an hour. I explained so much to him & he'll never get it because he was drinking. He kept saying that I'm going to go back to what I always do & he doesn't believe me when I say we're trying to be good and if we were really TRULY trying then we wouldn't be handing around each other & volunteering together and that I should do whatever I can to separate myself from him & "find myself" and that making relationship choices this young isn't good etc., blah, blah, blah.
I started sobbing so hard after we got off the phone. Mom came out and we started talking and basically these next two years while Thomas and I wait for each other, I need to go explore the world & get to know myself and see if what I really want to do is settle down and plant roots and have a family in one place. It's time to stop trying to please my father and do what Rane wants (within God's bounds of course) & go out & travel and see sights. And I'm happy to do that. Because I know deep down, I'll always come home. San Diego is my life and I grew up here and I'm proud to be able to say that. So I will settle down here. But first, according to my mother, I need to get it out of my system.
-Rane C.
[That was the night I lost all respect & honor for my father. He was drunk & ranting & spewing crap that he had no idea about & didn't pay any attention to what I was telling him. That night I actually opened up to him & told him how much I felt for Thomas & that I wanted to be with him but he didn't isten. And he was mean too, just flat out arrogant & spiteful & MEAN to me during that phone call. He doesn't know this, but he really messed me up that night & our relationship has never been the same.]