"Alright, listen to me carefully now," Ty spoke up after all the boys had driven in to an empty parking house to change their escape car. Ashton was thrown into this in surprise and no knowledge of what was going to happen, so he just let everyone pull him to the right direction.
The previously used weapons were left behind in the other car, along with the gadgets they had used just before. Ashton had quickly been handed his gun along with a change of clothes, which he had taken without any questions. His hand was now gripping the gun securely as he looked out the window, watching them drive away from the city in a dangerous speed.
"We have exactly 12 minutes to make this work. Do exactly as we planned it. Noah is waiting for us with the plane and everything. Our bags are packed, everything is done, the only thing we have to do is get on board" Ty continued before looking over at Ashton, "Michael, take care of Ashton. He'll be the first one to board"
"Yeah" Michael mumbled and glanced at Ashton, repeatedly tapping his foot against the floor of the car, making his leg bounce up and down. In a normal situation Ashton would have snapped at him for doing that, but right now Ashton was too into his own mind to realize what was going on around him.
"Hey," Ty spoke loud enough to snap Ashton out of it and gain his attention, "Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"Where are we going?" Ashton asked instead, ignoring his uncle's question.
"Have you listened to anything I've said?" Ty asked, giving Ashton an impatient look but sighed as Ashton didn't budge one bit. "We're getting the fuck out of here for a while. If we don't all want to end up like you did for a month, we need to disappear from the map. Not only have you managed to piss off every fucking gang in the city, but now we've killed enough cops to get all our throats cut off. We're getting out of the country, get some time off. God knows who needs it the most" Ty mumbled and ran a hand through his hair.
Ashton didn't answer to the obvious truth that had been spoken, he only nodded his head and glanced back out the window. "I don't know, I kind of found peace in that hellhole"
"Well, now you're gonna find peace somewhere else" Ty spoke, not tolerating an argument about something so stupid. Ashton didn't comment on it and kept looking out of the window, still feeling Michael eyes on him though.
"What?" he mumbled finally, trying to keep this conversation only between Michael and him. Ty was still speaking rapidly with the other ones, but Ashton just couldn't bother to take it all in. Just minutes ago he was handcuffed and sentenced a life in prison. Now he was back at square one once again.
It was just like it had been years before; a gun in his hand, an empty heart, an emotionless stare, Michael by his side, and Luke not even close to be in his presence.
"Isn't this what you wanted?" Michael asked, his voice just as quiet as Ashton's had been.
"I don't know. Probably" Ashton answered with a shrug, causing Michael to sigh. "Not to be a mood killer or anything-"
"You? A mood killer? Never" Michael spoke, making Ashton give him a look before continuing his previous statement.
"Whatever. It was just nice to have some time alone"
"I know that's a lie. Even though you didn't speak to me while you were there, I know you were lonely. I can read you like an open book, Ash, don't try to think anything else. You were happy to see me like 10 minutes ago, what happened to that?"
"I guess I just remembered that life out here is the same as life in there" Ashton answered, causing Michael to fall silent, much to Ashton's satisfaction.
Because, well, Ashton was right. Life out of the jail was the same as in it. Just because Ashton was now free didn't mean he'd get Luke back. Just because he fled the city and the country didn't mean that he'd gain back the blonde's company. He had been lonely in prison, but it was better that way because Ashton knew that if Luke was still present, he'd still be lonely as bars would keep them apart.
The thing keeping them the apart now was the ultimate difference between life and death.
"We're going back to normal, believe me" Michael murmured and moved his body closer to Ashton's. Ashton didn't object.
"When has our lives ever been normal?" Ashton whispered and continued to glance out the window until Michael gripped the back of his neck and steered his head to the side, making them lock eyes. Ashton looked at him for some time before shaking his head. "You had no right to do this"
"No right?" Michael asked and chuckled humorlessly as his thumb tenderly moved back and forth against the skin on Ashton's neck. "I don't need any 'rights' to do as I please. I don't always follow your demands. I can do whatever I want, even though you think it's pure bullshit or not"
Ashton pursed his lips and shook his head again. "You didn't owe me anything. If anyone owe anyone anything it's me owing everything to you. Your life would be so much fucking better if I was locked away for good. You know what I'm capable of, if you'd left me there you could have prevented it"
"You don't get it, do you?" Michael asked, an irritated frown on his face as his grip on Ashton tightened. "You're my best fucking friend. Watching you in there, having your life slip through my fingers each day that passed, made me feel so fucking helpless. I know how it is to lose people Ash, we've both had to go through it before, but you don't understand how painful it would be for me to lose you"
Ashton gritted his teeth at the way Michael's nails dug into his skin, but said nothing. His eyes were locked with his friend's and he wouldn't let himself even blink to miss any of Michael's facial expressions.
"For me, losing you would be like you losing Luke. It fucking hurts, Ash. So fucking bad" Michael continued, his stare so sincere that Ashton had a hard time keeping a frustrated scream down.
"You shouldn't-" Ashton started but stopped to shake his head again, frustration boiling up inside of him. "You should want to kill me. You should kill me, Michael. You're supposed to end my life"
"Probably," Michael spoke, mimicking Ashton previous words and shrugged. "But like, Luke should've wanted to do that too. He had every right to kill you, yet he didn't"
Ashton clenched his jaw and ran a hand over his face, trying so hard to keep his calm because Michael didn't deserve his rage.
His body was left on fire as Michael slowly slid his hand up to Ashton's hair to then heavily drop it down to his shoulder. "But I guess that's how love works, right? People treat you like shit, gives you reasons to force you to leave, yet you don't. You stay, leave them unharmed, because maybe some day it will be worth it"
"And what if it's not worth it?" Ashton asked, his voice tired as he dropped his hand from his face to look into Michael's eyes once again.
"Well, you've already blown it twice. Third time's a charm, right?" Michael answered, trying to carelessly joke it away, though he knew that never worked on Ashton. Because Ashton knew he had already broken Michael in every possible way, and to then bring Luke in and kill him like it was nothing. If Michael really thought the third time was a charm, Ashton had to admit Michael was stupider than he thought.
There was no way Ashton would let Michael get close to him again.
"I'm not sorry for what I did, or said, or feel. If I have the right to kill you, then I should also have the right to believe in things that bothers you. I honestly don't care about anything else around but you, because I care about you to the point where it's absolutely mental. It will always be like that, and you won't be able to change it" Michael whispered since Ashton had shrunk in size and it seemed like if he spoke too loudly Ashton would break.
Ashton didn't answer because he didn't know what to say. He had no right and no energy to be mad at Michael right now, and it would be stupid of him to even try to make up Michael's mind. It seemed like Michael had made up his mind a long time ago and even though Ashton knew about the pathetic love story between Michael and Calum, the one between Ashton and Michael seemed to be stronger.
Ashton definitely didn't have the right to feel pleased about that. He shouldn't be allowed to feel pleased about how much Michael wanted him, when Ashton didn't even want him back.
"You have Calum" he mumbled, his eyes on his hands as he let Luke's ring run back and forth over his palm.
"Not anymore" Michael breathed out, yet another humorless chuckle escaping from his pink lips. Ashton furrowed his eyebrows at him, silently sending him the question on his mind without actually wording it. Michael understood either way. "I left him, so I don't have him anymore"
"You left him?" Ashton questioned.
"I'm leaving now, aren't I?" Michael answered with a question of his own. "Can't have someone who's on the other side of the world"
Ashton shook his head again, growing even more frustrated than before. He clenched his fists before gripping Michael's chin so violently that it would probably leave bruises. "You're so fucking stupid"
"I know, you keep reminding me every fucking time I try to speak with you," Michael mumbled and tried to move away from Ashton's grip only for it to tighten. "You're welcome, by the way. For saving your life multiple times and getting you out of fucking jail-"
"Thank you" Ashton spoke, interrupting Michael in the middle of his sentence. His hand gripping Michael's chin dropped to Michael chest, patting it softly, sincerely, before he turned around to glance out of the window once again.
It was only plans and strict orders being told after that, and even though Ashton's eyes were locked on the picture outside the window, he was listening tentatively. He watched the small abandoned runway along with a few old rundown Air Force planes carelessly placed at the side of it. A modern 20 passenger plane was placed at the start of the runway, engine running as it was impatiently waiting for the guys to get on board.
"We're late, the cops are on their way, so this can't take long. Leave everything behind, all you need is on the plane. Just get on board, we're leaving in less than 3 minutes" Ty spoke, his voice tense as he leaned against the door of the van to open it as soon as the car had came to its stop.
"Just, go with me" Michael mumbled and tapped his fingers against Ashton's gun, silently telling him to put it away since there would be no use for it. Ashton did as told, for once, and shifted in his seat before Ty slid the door open and the guys one by one exited the vehicle.
Though, none of the guys had the time to step over to the plane as several cars drove onto the area, tires screeching against the worn out pavement before numerous of policemen exited the cars with raised weapons. There voices echoed in the empty space, their demands harsh as their loaded weapons grew closer to fire a shot.
"Fuck" Ashton heard Ty breathe out, his uncle's jaw clenched tightly as he turned around to look at his group. "How the fuck did they get here already?! I told you to destroy the radio"
"I did," Trey answered, his voice low as their eyes were still locked on the yelling policemen. "I made sure there was no way of tracking the previous event. I'm sure of it"
"Ty, there's no fucking way this is going to work. They had an insider, they must have" Seth mumbled through gritted teeth and Ashton could feel Michael tense up beside him.
"Mom" Michael whispered out, causing Ashton to furrow his eyebrows before getting hit with realization. Ty heard and slowly turned around to glance at the two of his youngest men. He eyed them intently, ignoring the way the police were threatening to fire a shot if they didn't put their hands behind their heads.
"Get on board," he finally spoke, his harsh hazel eyes glancing back and forth between the two young boys before looking at all the other men. "All of you, get on board"
Seth scoffed. "And how's that supposed to work?"
Ty didn't answer him as he slowly reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small device that Ashton easily recognized as some kind of grenade. "Get on board" Ty spoke again, his voice calm as he pulled the safety off and slowly but surely turned around before throwing the grenade over at the mass of policemen.
Ashton stood still in place, his eyebrows furrowed together as he watched it all play out in front of him. It was a mess being pictured in front of his nose, a fucking awful mess, which he was responsible for. It was all on him, all Ashton's fault, and he just didn't understand when everything had fallen down so drastically.
"Ashton! Inside!" Ty yelled, his voice loud over the shots being fired at them. The van was a secure shield at the moment, though the few feet to the plane was a walk of death.
"I don't think it's worth it" Ashton mumbled, his voice barely audible over the loud noises around them. Because honestly, it wouldn't be worth it in the end. He was already wanted by every single living creature out there, and in the end it would be absolutely impossible to get away. Never had he felt the need to give up, but at this point it just felt hopeless.
"You can leave, I don't fucking mind. I'll stay though, what else do I have to live for? I'll probably get in the fucking death chair anyway. Getting electrocuted to death doesn't sound so bad right now" Ashton spoke while eying the thick cloud of smoke still covering up a bunch of the struggling policemen.
Ty sighed, his hands running over his face in frustration before shaking his head and looking at Ashton with sincere eyes.
"Let us help you live. I know Luke's death made a fucking impact on you, but that doesn't mean you can die. Just because someone you cared about is gone doesn't mean people who care about you think it's okay for you to go. Look at your brother, your brothers. Look at Michael, Ashton, your best friend. You need to start thinking, Ash. Stop being so fucking selfish, just for once" Ty spoke, his similar hazel eyes eying Ashton harshly. "We're a family, people care about each other here. There's a different way of showing it, but your brothers care. I care, Ashton. I care about my son"
Ashton had never been close to his uncle in the terms of actually calling each other family. They were family though, actually blood related and everything, yet they never acknowledged that fact. Yet, now here they were, their plan slowly going down the drain, Ashton being more than heavily suicidal, Ty trying well enough to keep his group in one piece, and he finally admitted that Ashton was a piece of him.
It was a stupid time to admit something like that (though it wasn't really admitted since it was known facts) but Ashton still wasn't quite ready to accept the fact that Ty actually wanted him as true family.
"Get on that fucking plane, Ashton. You'll thank me as time comes. Do as you're told, and keep moving" Ty spoke, his voice back to harsh and stern in just a matter of seconds. And Ashton did as told because he'd rather get the fuck away from here, from Ty, than to have to deal with the fact that maybe he and his uncle had some kind of an emotional bond.
"Come on!" Ashton wasn't sure who was yelling, but the impatient tone made Ty grab Ashton's arm and force him with him to the plane. Ashton didn't struggle against it, but he didn't follow along either. He didn't know what the fuck it was that he wanted, but when Ty's grip on him suddenly loosened and his uncle's presence was no longer by his side, Ashton suddenly found himself looking back with worry inside of him.
It was quiet and empty as Ashton's eyes were placed on Ty's body sprawled out on the pavement, blood slowly pouring out from the back of his head as no movements could be seen. Ashton felt frozen as he watched his uncle lay absolutely still on the cold ground while a pair of arms wrapped around Ashton to tug him inside of the plane. Ashton felt lost as the door of the plane was closed, and he watched his uncle's dead body get left behind. Ashton felt lonely, because finally he had gotten his family back, only for it to be taken away from him within a blink of an eye.
Ashton felt guilty, because it was all his fault.
He hated himself, to the point where things didn't seem to have colors anymore. Ashton absolutely despited himself since he knew he was the reason to all this shit. Why was people around him dying and yet he was still alive? He was alive and he did nothing to deserve it.
Life is vulnerable. Ashton knew that, had always known that, but it was more clear now than ever. Life was unpredictable, because in one second you would have it, and in the next you wouldn't. It only depends on a thin line, and Ashton was amazed by how easily you could cross it, yet he had never done it.
It was unfair how he as a careless and fucking stupid human being still had his life in check while innocent people hadn't. He felt like even more like a criminal when he thought back to the days when a bullet would be shot at him like it was the usual, and he would survive, yet a bright soul on the other side of the world would have their life taken away from them because they didn't have something as simple as food or water.
Ashton treated his life like if he had thousands of them. He was careless and acted like he had the lives of a cat, a total of nine lives, making him able to work as he did. But also, Ashton wasn't stupid; he knew he only had one life and he knew that was it, but he didn't value it. He was barely a human, so he didn't need to act like one.
But then again, his careless actions of a inhuman piece of shit resulted in him taking away lives left to right. The lines on his wrists were an obvious sign of that, but never once had a civilian ended up on Ashton's wrist. With other words; Luke wasn't a line on his wrist, but he was a scar in his heart.
As time went, Ashton slowly but surely understood just what an awful person he was. He didn't value his life, yet he walked around and ended those who did. One by one he made sure to end someone who actually wanted to live, and slowly but surely it all started to come back to him.
And just because he didn't value his life didn't mean he didn't valued theirs. So right at this moment, when Ashton watched people he held at heart drop like flies, he knew he was at fault.
Death just didn't seem pointless anymore.
**
Ashton hadn't said a word since they landed on a deserted paradise island far enough away from anyone even realizing they were alive. Most of them, anyway.
His eyes were locked on the horizon out on the turquoise ocean, his face aching as he hadn't been able to relax an inch of his body for hours now. None of the guys had even tried to get close to him, probably because they all were coping with the loss of their leader in different types of ways.
But Ashton knew the time would come when someone would disturb his loneliness, and he wasn't at all surprised that it was Michael. Though, the green-haired boy knew better than to say anything, so he sat a slight distance away from Ashton in complete silence, the waves hitting the shore was the only sound filling up the silence.
But finally Ashton was surprisingly the one to speak up at first. "My father is dead"
Michael furrowed his eyebrows together and glanced at Ashton with a questioning look on his face. "I know that, Ash"
"No," Ashton mumbled and shook his head. "My fathers are dead"
For the first time in his whole life of living, Ashton admitted to be a part of Ty. He admitted that he had everything to thank Ty for, and he never had the time to tell him that. He never had the time to speak a coherent sentence to his biological father, but that was because he was too young, but Ashton had years to thank Ty for everything, yet he didn't. And now it was too late.
Ashton could catch Michael looking at him intently from the corner of his eye, noticing how Michael's body slumped slightly before he sighed loudly.
"I'll let you kill her. I'll help you if you let me. It was her fault, she did this, and she deserve the same outcome" Michael mumbled, his words strangled.
Ashton didn't answer, didn't even spare a glance at his friend, so Michael sighed heavily and continued. "Who the fuck am I trying to fool? It was all my fucking fault. The plan was mine, the stupid reasons to trust her were mine, my desperate pleads and attempts to get you out of there were all fucking mine. I killed Ty"
"Shut up, Mike" Ashton mumbled, his voice rusty after holding his tongue for so long. Ashton could hear how Michael was struggling to find a way to make his struggle to breathe easier, but he seemed too far gone. Ashton could see from the corner of his eye how Michael was clawing at his skin until painful pink marks were left behind, something he hadn't done since he was younger.
Ashton contemplated on letting Michael continue hurting himself because at some point Michael would die too and maybe that day could be today, as a pathetic attempt to honor Ty's death, but even though Ashton kept believing he didn't have a heart or soul, he still couldn't have his best friend killing himself.
He turned to the side and nearly flinched at the sight of Michael desperately tries to claw his way through his throat and chest. Ashton reached out and used the fact that he was stronger than the younger boy, pushing Michael's hands away from himself and pushed him down on the sand, keeping a secure grip on Michael's trembling hands above his head.
"Stop," Ashton seethed while looking into Michael's wide and glossy eyes. The green-haired boy was still pathetically fighting against Ashton's grip, making Ashton nearly crawl on top of him to keep Michael down. "Stop" he spoke again, his voice now only a whisper but it seemed to be just enough to make Michael fall limp down in the sand.
His heavy breathing was erratic and the scratch marks along his skin was a painful reminder of how Luke had looked for a while, and the sight nearly made Ashton throw up. It had come to a point where not even Ashton nor Michael could take much more.
Michael eyes were shut tightly, trying to keep his tears held back, though Ashton could see saltwater pushing its way past Michael's eyelids and it made him grit his teeth together harshly.
"Don't fucking cry, Michael" Ashton seethed, his voice as harsh as he could make it.
"You're leaving me" Michael whispered, his eyes still closed shut as he tried to catch his breath.
"How the fuck am I leaving you?" Ashton asked, his hands squeezing Michael's wrists harder. "I'm right here, how the fuck am I supposed to leave?"
Michael tugged with one hand, silently begging for Ashton to release him. Ashton did as told after a while, and soon watched Michael reach into his back pocket and pulled out a padded yellow envelope. "I found it in Ty's bag. It's obvious it was meant for you" Michael mumbled and looked down at what he held in his hand.
Ashton stared blankly at the envelope before releasing his hold on Michael fully and sat up, taking the paper from Michael without saying a word. The yellow paper was blank but the top was opened, making Ashton sure that Michael had already studied what was inside. Instead of calling Michael out on it he looked down the envelope and stayed silent as he noticed the things inside.
A passport, a flight ticket, and a key.
"You're going to Australia. You're leaving me and you're going to fucking Australia" Michael said as he slowly sat up in the sand, his forehead leaning against his propped up knees and his hands gently wrapping around his sore throat.
"I didn't know" Ashton mumbled as he picked the thinks up and studied them intently. The passport had a new identity, his picture not fitting with the unfamiliar name on the side. The ticket was unharmed, the black bolder letters letting him know his arrival would be at Cairns Airport early morning two days from now, meaning he'd had to leave soon enough. The key was simple, a silver one with a piece of paper hanging from the hoop around the key with a simple address in a place called Port Douglas, giving Ashton enough knowledge to know that's where the key belonged.
"Where are you going?" Ashton asked after a while of silence, the key in his hand nearly burning his skin.
"Nowhere. You're leaving me" Michael repeated, his voice so so soft Ashton felt his skin prickle.
"I'm not fucking leaving you, Michael" Ashton spoke, his voice growing softer by each word. "I'm not leaving at all. What the fuck am I supposed to do in fucking Australia? You were right, I don't want to be alone again"
Michael lifted his head from his knees and looked at Ashton before breathing out a hopeless laugh. After a while of silence once again, Michael reached out and placed his hand at the back of Ashton's neck, pulling him in without Ashton objecting. Ashton's forehead pressed against Michael's, the younger boy's breath heavy against Ashton's lips before he leaned forward to press them together. Ashton was too tired to fight it.
"You won't be alone" Michael whispered as he had pulled away far enough to whisper against Ashton's lips.
"Are you going with me?" Ashton asked, a slight bit of hope laced in his words.
"I wish," Michael murmured as he breathed out yet another hopeless laugh. He leaned in to press his lips against Ashton's, the older boy still quite unresponsive but never pushing Michael away, before pulling away once again and looked down at his hands.
Michael seemed to hesitate before he reached to his pocket again and pulled out a folded note. He looked at it, his lip between his teeth before managing a small crooked smile. Genuine or not, Ashton couldn't really tell.
"You won't be alone" Michael repeated as he handed the note to Ashton. The older boy only looked at it for a while before slowly reaching out to take it between his fingers.
"I have no one else than you, Michael" Ashton whispered, the folded note in his hand feeling heavy as his heart beat hard in his chest.
"Yes you do" Michael spoke softly and ran his hand up and down his wounded throat once again before letting a few pained tears fall from his green eyes. Ashton knew it - third time wasn't a charm. It wouldn't matter what the fuck he did; Michael would always end up hurt in his presence.
"No I don't. I've lost fucking everyone" Ashton whispered, his eyes trying to avoid Michael's teary face.
"Not everyone," Michael spoke and before he heavily tapped the note in Ashton's hand with the tip of his fingers, "Not Luke"
-
it was such a hard decision to kill off ty since he's basically my favorite character. without him everyone in this story would probably be dead within a minute.
and also, end of mashton and it pains me to see. i just want ashton to love michael forever because he deserves it. but i was stupid enough to make this lashton so i have to go through with it, sigH
(i also apologize if there's any misspellings at the end. it's my mom's birthday and i've had a lot of champagne so i'm slightly drunk lmao)
((two chapters left btw))
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