"If a thing loves, it is infinite." -Unknown
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My eyes flickered open, squinting as they adjusted to the morning sun, which was shining through a small crack in the burgundy curtains. I shut my eyes tight, guarding them from the sliver of silver sunlight. I rubbed the remainder of sleep from my eyes. I slowly dragged myself up, my eyes finally having adjusted have to the golden light seeping into my hotel room. Ever since landing in Nantucket I've hidden away from my brothers. It's not because I don't love them because I do, I call them everyday. But, I feel like shit. I can't help that and I don't want my brothers to see me like I am. I'm so broken and I hate him. I hate Charlie. We dated for a brief period of time, and then we kissed at the AMA's, that was meant to be us making us public. But no. No we're 'just friends', we always have been 'just friends'. I love him, I still do. But, I hate him. We got in a fight, and then he tweeted about it, and then he deleted them, but I screen-shotted them. It's really the only things that has kept me going this past few days.
I don't want you to think I'm not who I said I was
He told me he loved me, he told me he always would. "I love you Meghan Trainor! I fucking love you and I'll never ever stop, you're mine! You're mine and that's all you'll ever be!"
That's all I'll ever be. Actions can be cheap but words can be cheaper. I miss him so much. I need him, he's the only person who's ever made me feel like I'm worth it.
I meant every word I said that night to you
I know he meant it. I know it so why can't I believe it? Or him? Why can't I believe in him like I used to? I want to. I really do. I love him more than I hate him, I always will.
Please don't think anything else
I won't. I won't think anything else, but I need to get through this on my own before I can go back to you - back to him. Charlie fucking Puth you have a way with me I could never explain. Goddamn. I love you. So much. But just a few more days...
People will talk
They will. They always will. But I don't care. I couldn't give less of a care in the world. I'm gonna text him, I gotta text him...
But it doesn't mean anything. Damn I hope you see this
I am seeing this. I've seen this a million times. Over a million and every time I break down, but not this time, not ever again.
And know it's about you
My phone rang. The world spun in slow motion as I pressed answer before checking who was calling. "Meghan?" It was him, Charlie. His deep sexy, husky voice silenced me. No words spilled out of my mouth, none of hatred or of love. I just stood stunned in the bathroom of my hotel. "Meg? You there?" He asked me. I couldn't scream or cry, just frozen still and alone.
"Charlie," I croaked out, close to sobbing.
"Meghan," he breathed in response, "I love you, I miss you, I'm an idiot-"
"Yes," I mumbled, "Yes you are." I felt the sudden urge to throw up so I put down my phone, more like threw down, and I pulled back my light blonde hair and chucked my guts up. I heard muffled shouts of my name from the phone before demands of where I was. "Four seasons hotel, penthouse suite." I managed, just before the line went dead and I vomited yet again. No less than 20 minutes later, my silence was disturbed by incessant knocking at my door. I groaned, the knocking aggravating my sudden headache.
"MEGHAN!" I heard, Charlie. It sounded like Charlie. But in my state I really can't be too sure. It could be anyone, or no one. I could be hallucinating. God, what is wrong with me? I managed to stumble upwards and looked at my swaying reflection in the mirror. Scarily pale skin, lifeless eyes, cold sweat. What happened in the last 2 minutes. Finally, a loud bang. The sound of wood breaking and footsteps thumping on the floor. Then, Charlie. He was really here. His sexily messy brown hair and his pearly white teeth. Charlie was here. "Hey, baby, I love you so much okay don't leave me?" I collapsed into his strong arms and struggled out an
"I love you too", before passing out completely and being engulfed in black.
I woke up some time later in a plain, white room. The lights were blinding and the bed was uncomfortable. I know it. I'm in hospital. I turned my head to the side to see none other than Charlie sat at my bedside. He was peacefully sleeping in a gray plastic chair next to me; his chest gently rising and falling. His eyelids edged open, exposing to me his eyes. Perfect, light brown orbs. "Meg," he breathed.
"Charlie I love you," I whispered. "More than anything."
"I know baby, I know. But you need to get better okay?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't usually get this sick," I mumbled, smiling weakly at him.
"When you fall, I'll be right by your side. Because I'm never leaving your side again," he told me, stroking my hair out of my eyes.
"What did I do to deserve you?" I asked him, my eyelids growing heavy.
"Get some sleep princess, you need it."
A/N: Hey, I really don't like this one at all. So it'll probably be taken down pretty soon. But y'all need an update so here you go. When I'm done with the next part I'll take this one down and replace it.
Stay strong lovelies,
-Faye x
(P.S: Guys, I made a fan account if y'all wanna follow it. It's on Instagram and my username is @ mtrain_fam follow me? <3)