Song is Girls by The 1975
---
Heaven
I couldn't wait! I was finally going to see the 1975. Matt Healey is bae. Of course, I couldn't tell Zayn that. So, I just promised him he could see ALT-J with me.
"Just remember, I will kill them if I have to."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Stay away from any hot guys or you'll murder everyone at the show." I roll my eyes. "I love you but I've got to go."
"Fine,"
"I love you?"
"OK,"
"You know what? Why don't I just stay home with you instead?"
"No, go. I know if I keep you here you'll just hate me forever and I will never forgive myself if you hate me."
"K, bye." I peck his lips and leave before he changed his mind.
---
I waltz into the gaffe with the stupidest smile on my face. Matt Healy is my life. HE PULLED ME UP ON STAGE! FML!
I was careful not to wake Zayn. Last thing I need is him raising hell because I was touched by another guy.
My eyes rip open as I feel something cold falling on me. "What's this?" I question as he kept dropping magazines on me. "He touched you." Was all he said. "I know." I say. "He touched you."
"Yes, and I'm sorry."
"He touched you." He repeats. "I told you not to let anyone touch you! God, why are you so stupid! Now I have to kill him!"
I stay quiet. I'm not a pet. If he wants to speak to me, he'll have to speak right.
"Why is he touching you!? Why are you letting him?! You don't belong in his arms!?" He continues to shout. I flinch at his words. "Why aren't you speaking!?"
His eyes were dark. He was red. Veins popped out of his neck. I move away from him. I don't think Zayn would ever hurt me physically, but his eyes told me otherwise. I walk away from him. He grips my shoulder. "I'm speaking to you!"
"Sorry," I say softly. "I shouldn't have let him touch me and I shouldn't have walked away from you."
"Is this the only way to control you? I have to degrade you? Heaven, I don't want to shout. I don't like it."
"You don't like shouting at me? Then don't fucking shout!? Gosh Zayn. You're like that fucking teacher that says they don't want to give homework yet give it. I'm not your pet. Speak to me like I'm your wife. Not your pet."
"You're shaking." He attempts to cradle me. I slap him. "Get away from me! I'm sick of your bullshit! Why do we always end up here?! All I did was have fun and you hate me for it. I'm sorry I let him touch me. But you didn't hear me complain once when you spent 5 years hugging girls. I wanted to kill them all. I didn't want you anywhere near them. But I had no choice because I don't own you."
"Have you taken your pills?"
"N-no," I choke out. "I'm not bipolar!"
"You were depressed all of last week." He says. "Now, you've been really happy. You're in your manic stage again."
I knew he was right. But, I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing that. I was a completely different person last week. He was mine and I owned him. This week, he doesn't belong to me.
"Please, you know that not taking your pills make your depression even worse. You couldn't even get out of bed. You wouldn't speak. You know exactly where not taking your medication will take you. Right back to your sleep that lasts for years. You weren't really asleep, just depressed." His words were harsh. Is he angry at me for being sick? "You're only doing it to yourself."
"Well then, perhaps you shouldn't worry about it, then?"
I felt my chest tighten. Jawwad. I was hurting him. I grabbed my pills and set off to his room. "Wait, I'm sorry."
"For what?" I question. Shouting? Calling me stupid? Not letting me speak?
"I'm sorry that I didn't hold you last night. I felt you lay by me and I didn't hold you."
"You know something Zayn? You just 'degraded' me, caused my child a panic attack, insulted me, and all you can say is I'm sorry I didn't hold you?" I question. "Perhaps you just love the idea of loving me more than the act? Maybe this relationship is just too much for you?"
"If you walk out that door, I won't wake up tomorrow."
"Sadly, neither will I."
---
Yeah, it sucks. A friend.... Well used to be friend of mine said she was happy Zayn left because she hated him. Hate her forever.
A friend requested me to do a punk Niall and I'm stuck. How does one write mean things about Niall?
Louis and Zayn are good again. I shipped Zouis so hard.
Night potatoes! Only 15 left.