before starting the chapter, i wanna say thank you to @lucifersoverdose for the drawing, @KarlaDeLynch for the edit, and @herbinkohoe for the trailer! i love them all so much and thank you for taking time to do all this, ily!!
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A loud and heavy knock on the door startled 6 year old Michael awake from his deep slumber. The small boy sat up in his bed with wide eyes and slowly climbed down from it to hurry over to his mother's bedroom.
Without knocking, Michael walked into the room with a quivering lip. "Mom?" he called out but got no answer.
He made his way over to his mother's bed but frowned when seeing it was empty. Her room was a mess though. All her drawers were opened and all the stuff inside were gone. All that was left was a simple sock and a plain shirt.
Two more knocks on the door made Michael jump, causing tears to form in his eyes.
"Karen! You better fucking open this door, you whore!" a manly voice said through the door, and Michael was even more afraid now.
Without any time to react, the door to Michael and his mother's apartment was ripped open, making little Michael, now standing in the middle of the living room, gasp in fear.
"Where's your mom, kid?" one of the men asked in a harsh voice after looking through the apartment quickly.
Michael shrugged his shoulders, too scared to speak, causing the man to clench his jaw and roar out a frustrated scream.
"She fucking tricked us! That bitch tricked us!"
"Chill," the other man spoke with a smirk on his face, "We've got her place and we've got her son, she'll come back"
But Karen didn't come, and after just a few days, Michael was thrown out into the city in just a hoodie and thin sweatpants. He cried for days, being sad about his mother's disappearance.
After months of living out on the streets of New York, Michael learned to be angry at his mother. She was the one who had left him, she was the one who never came back, and she was the one who caused this.
Michael was young and never really knew what life or death meant, but if people saw the small boy walking down the street, they'd describe him as death walking.
Michael was skinny, almost just skin and bones, and his skin was so so pale. He smelled awful, and his body was breaking down day after day.
But Michael kept on living, even though he probably shouldn't, he still did. And it was lucky he did so, because after walking for hours to reach the outer places of New York, Michael eyed a pretty treehouse in the backyard of a nice and big brick house. With rain and thunder pouring down on little Michael, he decided that there was where he'd sleep for the night.
So Michael did just that. He ran toward the house and climbed up the ladder to climb in to the treehouse. The small house was filled with pillows and blankets as well as tons of comics.
Michael's eyes were wide as he let his eyes roam it all. He placed his head on one of the pillows, wrapped his body in one of the blankets, and grabbed a action comics before falling asleep.
**
Calum sighed as he was sat in the staircase while watching his mother speak with three policemen.
Calum didn't like the police because they took his father away from him. But his mother had strictly told him not to cry for his father because he was the reason they had to go through this horrible time.
Calum pouted slightly when eyeing the name written on his forearm. His mother had written it there to make him remember his 'new name'. Calum didn't like it, he wanted to stay as Calum Hood, but the police had told him that was not possible anymore.
Calum grumpily pouted as one of the policemen told him to leave them and his mother alone for a while. Calum glared at them before running out to his treehouse with slightly teary eyes.
The weather was freezing as it was early morning in a late February day. Calum was only dressed in his pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, so he hurriedly climbed up the ladder and entered his treehouse.
Calum froze in his move when seeing a small boy curled up by the wall in one of his blankets. Calum widened his eyes as he inspected the small boy, first being scared, but soon calming down when seeing how small the sleeping boy looked.
He was only bones and Calum felt his heart sting at the sight, because never had he seen such a broken boy before.
After carefully watching the boy, Calum climbed down the ladder, ran into his house and collected as much food as possible, before climbing back up to the treehouse.
He quietly put all the food and drinks down and bit his lip as he brought one hand to the unknown boy's shoulder, shaking him to wake him up.
The thin blonde boy woke up slowly, blinking his eyes a few times before locking them with Calum's. The boy sat up quickly and stared at Calum with wide eyes, making Calum do the same.
Both boys were quiet as they looked each other up and down before Calum spoke up, "Why are you in my treehouse?"
"I-I-" the boy stuttered, "It was raining and I didn't want to sleep in the rain"
"Why didn't you sleep in your house?" Calum asked and looked at the boy with big and curious eyes.
"I-I don't have a house"
"Then where does you and your family live?"
"I don't have a family, and I live out on the streets" the boy said and looked down at his dirty hands in his lap.
"Don't you have anyone who takes care of you?"
"No, I'm alone" Michael spoke quietly as his eyes were locked on the dirt under his fingernails.
Calum frowned and pouted a bit before speaking, "Oh," he whispered and licked his lips, "I brought you food because you look hungry"
The think boy's eyes lit up at Calum's words and he looked at him like he was a saint of some sort. Calum only smiled and brought the food over to the boy, telling him to dig in.
And the boy did. He ate like if he would never even get to touch food again, making Calum furrow his eyebrows in confusion.
"What's your name?" Calum asked and watched as the boy ate his food with so much thankfulness.
The boy looked up at Calum and locked his green eyes with Calum's brown ones, "My name is Michael"
Calum nodded and bit his lip, staying quiet and letting Michael eat his food.
"What's your name?" Michael asked after a while. Calum bit his bottom lip frowned slightly before speaking up,
"My name is," he started and glance led down at the name written on his forearm, "My name is Isaac"
Michael looked at Calum for a long time before giving him a light smile. "You're very nice, Isaac" he spoke.
Calum blushed slightly and shrugged, "Thank you, Michael"
Michael stopped eating and shuffled closer to Calum to give the boy a hug. Calum tensed up at the touch, scared of what could happen if Michael was one of the bad guys the police were talking about.
Michael pulled away soon after and eyed Calum carefully. "Don't you like hugs? I'm sorry, I just wanted to say thank you"
"No, I like hugs," Calum said and bit his lips, "I'm just scared of people because mom said they're mean"
Michael frowned a bit before smiling small at Calum, "Don't worry Isaac, I'm nice. I promise"
"Okay" Calum whispered before reaching over to pull Michael back into the hug.
"I can take care of you, Michael" Calum said into the hug, making Michael tighten his hold on him.
The young boys hugged for a long time, and Calum noticed the tears that hit his shoulder after falling down from Michael's cheeks.
**
Michael carefully entered room 371 and looked at the boy lying on the bed. He bit the inside of his cheek harshly when for the second time seeing Calum's broken appearance.
Michael took a deep breath before slowly making his way over to the bed and sat down beside it, tracing every feature on Calum's hurt face.
Michael was nervous. He was hoping to get to speak with Calum for the first time in years. He had known the boy so well when they were younger, but lately they had been strangers.
That because the boy's name wasn't Isaac Ayers anymore, it was Calum Hood, and Calum was a whole other person than Isaac, yet Michael recognized him as soon as he'd heard Calum call him by his nickname.
Even though they last saw each other when they were 11 years old, they had know each other since they were 6, and Michael remembered everything about Isaac. Now he was more than willing to get to know everything about Calum as well.
Michael bit his lip and slowly brought his hand up to place it on Calum's scarred cheek. He carefully moved his thumb, brushing it against Calum's tan skin as he let his eyes bore into Calum's closed ones. He desperately wanted them to open.
"Mom?" Calum suddenly whispered out in a thick and rusty voice, making Michael retract his hand and lick his lips before speaking.
"No, it's Michael" he said and Calum laid unbelievably still until he slowly opened his eyes and gently turned his head, locking those rich brown eyes with Michael green ones.
"Hi" Calum whispered out after a while of only inspecting the green-haired boy.
"Hi" Michael whispered back before gently placing his hand back on Calum's cheek. Michael carefully scooted his chair closer to the edge of the bed, making Calum feel the boy's warmth radiate over to himself.
"How are you feeling?" Michael asked and eyed Calum's casted nose with a small sigh.
"I can't answer that question, because I don't really know the answer," Calum answered while never once glancing away from Michael deep green eyes, "One minute it's good, one minute it's bad. Sometimes it's amazing, and sometimes it's awful"
Michael sighed and closed his eyes shut, breathing heavily to bottle up his emotions, before opening them to meet Calum's again.
"I'm sorry" Michael breathed out, letting his thumb caress the corner of Calum's mouth, making both boys breathe heavily.
"It's not your fault" Calum spoke quietly and brought his hand up to place it over Michael's, carefully sliding his fingers between the older boy's.
"I'm sorry about what Ashton did-"
"It's not Ashton's fault either" Calum said quickly, looking at Michael sincerely, "It's my fault"
Michael tightened his hold on Calum's hand a bit as he shook his head in disagreement. He didn't speak though, because the look in Calum's eyes said that he didn't want Michael to fight him on this.
"So," Michael sighed and bit his bottom lip, "Your name is not Isaac"
Calum smiled small as he shook his head. His brown eyes looked sad and broken though, making Michael grit his teeth.
"No, my name's Calum. My real name, that is"
"Then why did you make me believe your name was Isaac for almost 5 years?" Michael asked and frowned slightly.
"Because my mother and I were under hidden identities" Calum whispered.
"But Drake still found you?"
"I know," Calum said and pursed his lips, "But nearly a year had passed between the two of you and I and I was going to tell you the truth, but then you became a part Ty's gang and I was scared you'd go against me as well"
Michael tensed up at the words and frowned deeper, "How could you ever think I would hurt you?"
"Because I couldn't trust anyone. But I trusted you, you were my best friend and I never thought you'd leave me, but you did" Calum sighed.
"Ty saved my life, Calum. I couldn't live in your treehouse and eat leftovers my whole life," Michael spoke and looked straight into Calum's eyes, "And I came back for you"
"I know," Calum whispered and took Michael's hand off of his cheek to intertwine their fingers fully, holding his hand with care, "Thank you for that"
"You left me though" Michael whispered, thinking back to when they were 11 years old and he had gone all the way to Calum's house only to find out the boy was gone with no trace left behind.
Calum bit his lip as he nodded his head, still feeling guilty about the fact that he left his best friend and the boy he was hopelessly in love with behind.
"I know, I had no choice" he whispered and looked at Michael with watery eyes.
"Where did you go?"
"Sacramento," Calum spoke and closed his eyes, "When you guys got Drake out of New York I thought everything was fine but then the cops said that if we wanted to be 100% safe, we should move to a new city with new identities again. So we did that, even though I never wanted to"
Calum took a shaky breath before letting out a sob, "I never wanted to leave you, Mikey"
Michael bit the insides of his cheeks harshly before placing his hands on Calum's cheeks and leaned forward to gently place his forehead on his.
"I know, Calum" Michael breathed out and kept his eyes closed as well while breathing in Calum's smell.
"I thought about you all the time," Calum whispered, making his hot breath hit Michael's lips that were only inches apart, "I was away from you for 5 years, but I never once forgot about you"
"I didn't forget about you either" Michael whispered back as he felt his eyes burning behind his eyelids.
Both boys were quiet after that, only breathing heavily while silently crying. Calum's arms were carefully wrapped around Michael's ribs while Michael had a gentle grip on Calum's face, letting his thumbs caress the cuts and bruises on Calum's soft skin.
Calum's lips parted and the light puffs of air he let out met Michael's lips. Michael stopped the movements of his thumbs against Calum's skin and licked his lips before lowering them down and pressed them softly against Calum's to not hurt the younger boy any further.
Calum let out a small noise of satisfaction before moving his lips with Michael's slowly, no drastic movements made.
Michael slowly let one of the hands placed on Calum's cheek slide down to the back of the younger boy's neck, letting Calum's raven hair slip through his fingers.
A shaky breath left Calum's parted lips when Michael slowly pulled away and looked into Calum's eyes with so many emotions.
"I-"
"Mike"
Michael was cut off by a voice from the doorway of the room. Both boys quickly turned their heads to the side and eyed Chase with bloodshot eyes and messy hair.
"Chase? Wha-"
"Mike, you need to come with me right now" Chase spoke sternly and Michael could hear all the emotions breaking through.
"What's going on?" Michael said and stood up, feeling Calum's worried eyes on him.
"It's Ashton and Seth" Chase said and locked his jaw.
Michael frowned slightly and licked his lips, "What about them?"
Chase blinked his eyes and frustratedly ran a hand through his hair as he locked eyes with Michael's confused ones before speaking up,
"They're dying"
**
Luke was seated in the arms of his brother as Jack swayed them back and forth. After the nurses had seen Luke completely break down after seeing both Ashton and Seth's lifeless bodies being rushed into surgery, they called Jack to desperately try to calm Luke down.
Luke was crying. He could barely breathe because he was crying so hard against his brothers shoulder.
Jack had rushed into the hospital, newly showered and messily dressed, and had picked Luke up in his arms. He didn't even need anyone to tell him anything to know why Luke was acting like this. Jack knew why Luke was crying, and it completely broke his heart.
Around the brothers where every guy in the group seated with their hands in their hair and jaws locked in frustration.
They all wanted to react like Luke did. They all wanted to cry because they were on their way to lose two family members, but they kept their faces blank.
And they had been doing that for hours. No one had left their seats even for a second. It had only been Chase to get Michael, but other than that, the whole group of people had been still.
Luke had been crying for all those hours, but now suddenly he fell silent, making Jack panic in fear, thinking his brother had passed out.
"Luke?" Jack asked in a quiet whisper, tightening his hold of his brother when feeling Luke nod his head.
"How are you?" Jack asked but Luke only shook his head and hid his face in his brothers neck.
"You'll be okay," Jack whispered and started swaying Luke back and forth again, "They'll all be okay"
"You don't know that" Luke spoke in a broken voice after the hours of crying. Jack didn't say anything after that, only holding Luke closely.
Luke soon felt a hand on his shoulder, making him lift his head from Jack's shoulder and lock eyes with Ty's, making Luke furrow his eyebrows and fall back against Jack's chest to make sure Jack was keeping him safe.
"Luke" Ty spoke and crouched down to be at eye level with Luke as he was sitting down.
"I'm sorry" Luke immediately said, knowing Ty had heard the last words he had said to Ashton.
Ty pursed his lips and nodded his head before staring into Luke's broken eyes.
"Don't be sorry, you had nothing to do with this" Ty spoke and Luke bit his lips harshly.
"I told him that-"
"I know what you said, I heard everything," Ty cut Luke off, "But I also know that this doesn't mean it was your fault. Ashton didn't do this to himself, neither did Seth, so this would have happened even if you said what you said or not"
Luke carefully eyed Ty with an unsure expression, making Ty sigh.
"I know what kind of opinion you have on me and I made myself look to be who I wanted to be in your eyes. But I regret that now when I see how much you truly care about my nephew," Ty spoke and never once broke his gaze with Luke.
"You have saved Ashton's life more than once, so I trust you in doing that again" Ty said and assuringly patted Luke's knee.
"How?" Luke whispered while old tears were still running down his rosy cheeks.
"You'll keep being there for him" Ty spoke before standing up and placed his eyes on Jack. The older man nodded his head at Jack and reached his hand out, making Jack take it and shake it before Ty walked back and sat down in his seat again.
"He's right Luke," Jack whispered and hooked his chin over Luke's shoulder to look at him, "You can't just give up now"
"Excuse me?" A female voice said, making Luke look up at a woman dressed in surgery clothes stand in front of the whole group, "Are you here for Seth Irwin?"
"Yes" Ty spoke up and stood up as everyone put their full attention on the woman.
"Okay. We just took Seth out of surgery and and it went smooth. The cuts in his back were deep but not deep enough to damage anything important. We have stitched the cuts and his back with be fine if he rest and takes good care of his health.
"The bullet in his arm on the other side," she said and sighed slightly, "It was a tough operation to get the bullet out, especially when Seth had lost a lot of blood after he'd had the bullet in his arm for a long time. His arm is damaged, and that also includes his hand as nerves and veins have been hit badly, making us pretty sure that he'll lose a lot of feeling in the right side of his right hand. We still don't know if he'll be able to move it, that is for time to see"
"Can we see him?" Prince asked as he stood up from his chair as well.
"He is sleeping at the moment and probably will for a few more hours, but it is okay for you to see him. He's in room 329, nurses will be inside" she spoke and after that about half of the boys disappeared to the main building.
"Have you heard any news for Ashton Irwin?" Jack asked, making the woman look down at the two Hemmings brothers and recognize them.
"No, I'm sorry. But I saw your father cleansing off before and he will be with you shortly to explain how the surgery went"
"Dad held the surgery?" Luke spoke and widened his eyes.
"Yes" the woman said and gave them all a small smile before walking off again.
"It will be fine, your father is a professional-" Michael spoke up but shut his mouth as soon as everyone saw Andrew walks through the door and walk up to them. Before speaking, he looked at Luke and Jack with furrowed eyebrows.
"Why are you here? Is there something you need to ask?" Andrew asked and looked at his sons with confusion.
"How's Ashton?" Luke asked and stood up from Jack's arms, wobbling slightly as his legs were about to give out.
"Do you boys know who this Ashton boy is?" Andrew asked and Luke looked at him with a pained and broken expression before Jack looked at him with a pleading one.
"I don't mean to interrupt this family meeting, but I want to know how my nephew is doing" Ty spoke, making Andrew turn his head to the man and nod.
"Absolutely, I'm sorry," he spoke before sitting down at one of the chairs and sighed lightly, everyone around him staring at him with wide eyes.
"Ashton is.. He's not well," Andrew started and Luke tensed up while biting his lip harshly, "He lost a lot of blood and the bullet hit him dangerously close to all his important organs. It was a struggling surgery where we had to remove one of his kidneys and transplant a lot of blood. We nearly lost him two times. He came back, but is very week.
"We did our best, removing the bullet and making sure what had been damaged looks as good as possible, but we can't yet know if he'll be okay" Andrew spoke and Luke nearly whimpered while Ty clenched his jaw, Michael parted his lips and Chase ran a frustrated hand through his long hair.
"What do you mean by that?" Ty asked shortly.
"It means that Ashton is in a coma, and we don't know when or if he'll wake up. As it looks now, I'm afraid his odds doesn't look very promising. We did what we could do, now all we can do is wait and hope for improvements. I'm sorry" Andrew said and stood up from his chair to shake hand with the guys.
"I will need some of you to speak to the police as they will be here any minute. We need people for both Seth and Ashton Irwin as a serious crime has been made" Andrew spoke and Ty nodded his head because he knew. He was used to this.
"Can we see him?" Chase asked soon after.
"Yes, he can take visitors but even though he's in a coma, Ashton needs calm surroundings. I advise you to go in one or two at a time"
"What room?" Chase asked again, hurriedly standing up from his chair.
"397" Andrew answered.
"I'm going-"
"Let Luke go" Ty spoke up and stopped Chase from running away.
"What?" Chase asked and looked at Ty with furrowed eyebrows.
"I said, let Luke go. We'll talk to the cops while Luke go see Ashton" Ty repeated.
"But-"
"Luke will see Ashton first" Ty said sternly, eyeing both Chase and Michael as the two boys nodded their heads.
Luke wiped his teary eyes and sniffed before giving Ty a thankful look and started running to Ashton's room. He didn't even have time to take one step though before his father gripped his arm and held him in place.
"No, I need to speak with you Luke"
"No dad please, I need to see him!" Luke begged and looked at his father with big blue teary eyes.
"No, I want to know why you're here and crying over this boy-"
"Dad," Jack said and stood up from his chair to stand between Andrew and Luke, "Don't. Let him go, he needs this"
Andrew glanced between his two sons, looking at how broken the younger of them looked, before letting go of Luke's hand and watched him quickly run away.
Luke ran up the stairs, not even bothering taking the elevator, and crying while doing so. Ashton was barely alive, and even though Ty told Luke it wasn't his fault, he still took the blame.
He ran through the long corridor and counted every number on each door until reaching room 397. Luke stopped and started at the door for what felt like hours, before reaching for the handle and pushed it down to slowly pull the door open.
Inside in the quite dark room was a lonely bed. Around it were machines beeping every second to count each heartbeat that was being found. On the bed laid Ashton with wires in his arms and by his nose, while numerous of things were stuck to his chest.
Luke gulped down the thick lump he had in his throat before closing the door and slowly made his way over to Ashton. With teary eyes and slightly shaking hands, Luke stood by the side of the bed and looked down at Ashton.
The boy looked terrible. He almost looked dead, and it made uncomfortable shivers run down Luke's spine. Ashton's face was deadly pale and his body was lifelessly still. The only thing reassuring Luke that Ashton was actually still living was how his chest moved up and down heavily.
Luke slowly brought one of the chairs closer to the bed and sat down, watching Ashton's face with eyes filled with painful tears.
As the tears started falling, Luke broke down again. He sobbed and curled up in his seat as he heard the calm beeping of Ashton's heart. It was supposed to be reassuring, but the sound made Luke break apart.
"I'm so sorry," Luke sobbed out after a while and looked up at Ashton with blurry sight, "I didn't want you to die. I don't want you to die so please don't leave me"
Luke reached out with shaky hands and grabbed one of Ashton's. He hated the feeling of the cold skin against his, but he hated the fact that Ashton didn't hold his hand back even more.
"I love you Ashton. I love you so much. I was so scared of you at first, but I was never afraid of falling in love with you. I want you to love me as well, I want you to wake up and tell me that you still love me, even though this is all my fault.
"I didn't mean to say those things to you, believe me. I was just mad at that very moment and I let something stupid slip and I have regretted it since the second I told you.
"You know I never want you dead, because you know I can't survive without you. I'm not even talking about the people who are after me, but I'm talking about the fact that I can't see myself waking up in the morning if I know that you won't be there for me anymore" Luke spoke and took a shaky breath to calm his sobs before bringing Ashton's cold hand up to his lips to leave a kiss on it.
"Ty said this wasn't my fault and that someone else did this to you, but it still feels like this is all my fault, and I hate myself for it. I don't want you dead, Ashton, I never wanted you dead. I never wanted to have to see you like this" Luke spoke but his voice cracked at the end as he started to cry again.
"I'm begging you Ashton," he sobbed and intertwined his fingers with Ashton's non-moving ones, "Please wake up. I can't live without you, so please don't leave me"
Luke took a deep breath and stood up to lean down and place his wet lips against Ashton's forehead, kissing the skin softly.
"I love you Ashton, and I can't watch you just disappear away from me. I'm the reason for all of this, so I'll be here to fix it. Because, I'm you're guarding angel, remember?"
-
you don't know how many times i had to rewrite this fucking chapter
special hi to all my group chat friends, i had to mute you for a short period of time while writing. ily
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