So much can happen within two months.
I've been getting "therapy" from Mel for the past two months. I've been working on not being so awkward and how to not be a danger to myself and society. I also haven't been talking to Harry in the past two months.
It's not like I'm avoiding him, I say 'hi' to him occasionally but he just ignores me and walks away.
It's funny because everything I've been hoping for happened and I'm still not satisfied by it.
Jason and I have also been dating. I hate to say it, but dating him makes me feel worse about myself. Mel tells me that I should just break up with him instead of leading him on but I can't help it. As bad as it sounds, I feel like this is the only way I can make things up to him. He has always been here for me and constantly listens to me bitch about life while asking for nothing in return.
I kind of hate him for being such a nice guy.
If I didn't have a reason to hate myself before, I definitely have one now.
I see Harry in the corner of my eye, walking to who knows where. I sigh heavily and drag myself to class. He hasn't been missing class as much as usual, but he has been going to the office more than usual. I really want to ask him about it but there's an even slimmer chance of him answering than before.
The day goes by painfully slow. I'm greeted at the end of the day by Jason. That's one of the few things that haven't changed. He still drive me home every time that he gets the chance.
"Hey, beautiful." He smiles widely, slinging his arm over my shoulder.
"Hi." I laughed.
I don't want to make things sound worse than they actually are. I don't hate spending time with Jase. It just feels like nothing as changed. He's a little more open, but we really still feel like just friends.
The ride home wasn't awkward. We just talked about how our days were. Jason talked about funny things that happened in class and I just talked about how tired I was. I arrived home and kissed Jason goodbye.
I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I took it out to see that I got a text from Mel.
Mellll: I'll be over in 5
...
"I almost forgot that today was a therapy day."
"Thanks. I love hearing about how forgettable I am," Mel says sarcastically.
"Shut up." I laughed, pushing her softly.
"Did you break up with him yet?" Mel questioned, laying down on my bed.
"No."
"Why not?"
"I already told you why."
"I want you to tell me again so you can actually understand how stupid you sound."
I glared at her.
"Well, have to talked to Harry then?" she added.
"Why would I need to talk to Harry?" I questioned suspiciously.
"Because you like him?"
"But I don't, so..."
"But you're getting defensive, so..."
"But it's normal for people to defend themselves from lies being thrown at them, so..."
"But I'm gonna kick your problematic ass if you continue to be like this, so..."
I groaned and laid down next to her.
"Just break up with Jason already," she sighed.
"I can't do that."
"You can but you decide not to because you don't want to hurt his feelings. I hate to break it to you but Jason is a big boy and it takes mutual feelings for a relationship to work."
"Is it that obvious that I don't like him like that?" I groaned.
"Probably not to him because he's stupid but to us, yeah. It's pretty damn obvious."
"If you're his friend, wouldn't you want him to be happy then?" I asked.
"Yeah but I'm also your friend. That means that I want you to be happy too," Mel reasoned.
"But I'm not like that. Doing something like that won't make me happy. It makes me happy to make other people happy," I muttered.
"But you'll end up feeling like shit if you don't even take care of yourself," she pointed out.
"But I can handle that. I'm okay with being the way I am now if it means that I'm not hurting somebody. I don't need to do what benefits me because I can live with it."
"But you are hurting someone."
"I told you, myself doesn't cou-"
"Bitch, how do you think Harry feels?"
"The only emotion Harry ever feels is anger."
"You know why? Because he obviously likes you and you chose Jason over him."
"But Jason likes me too-"
"But Harry doesn't like anybody! Out of all the years I've spent in school with Harry, this is the only time that he actually showed interest in somebody. I've always thought that he was asexual until now!"
Well, she has a point.
"While you're here playing lovey dicey with Jason, you're holding him back from finding someone that can actually return his feelings."
"I should just end both relationships. I mean, high school relationships don't really last long anyways."
Mel stared at me before grabbing my hand and leading me somewhere.
"Wait, where are we going? What's happening? Stop!"
"Shut up!"
My eyes widened in horror as we stopped at our destination.
I almost fainted when Mel rang the doorbell.
I almost died when Harry opened the door.
---
I love Mel. Y/N needs to stop being problematic even though she is secretly me
I'm a very problematic person
Whoops
B