Ashton stared down at his phone after hanging up from the voice mail he had left for Luke hours ago. After hanging up he hadn't been able to move a single muscle for hours, causing him to sit in the exact same spot at 4:52 am the next day.
He bit the inside of his cheek hard before gripping his phone harshly and threw it across the room, watching the phone break into thousands of pieces.
He ran his hands over his face frustratedly, going up to his hair and tugged at it before standing up from the edge of his bed to walk across his room, over to his closet.
With dried spots of blood from Calum still seen on his hands, he dug around in his closet until he found what he was looking for. The cold metal against his palm was the only comfort he felt right now.
He took a grip of the cold metal and picked it up, eyeing the silver colored gun with the initials 'JSI' carved with gold at the side. He brushed his thumb over the three letters as he bit his bottom lip.
He walked over to his drawers and rummaged through them before finding the right kind of bullets for the gun. He loaded the gun slowly, hearing the soothing sound of the bullets clicking into their correct place, and turned the safety off.
Safety wouldn't be needed.
He let out a deep sigh and looked around his room before letting his eyes trace every inch of the beautiful gun before he lightly let his finger relax on the trigger.
"I'm coming home, dad" he whispered before bringing the gun up to press the tip against the skin at the middle of his forehead.
He breathed heavily, closing his eyes and listening to nothing. The whole house was completely silent and Ashton knew the shot he'd fire would echo through the villa for hours.
But that wasn't what he was thinking about. All Ashton was thinking about was that certain blonde who never once left his mind. That pretty and softly brushed blond hair, those amazingly deep blue eyes, those plump pink lips, that slim body, and those small delicate hands.
It was all running through Ashton's mind like a river snaking it's way through the forest. The thoughts never stopped and he was bothered by it, because Luke was the only thing Ashton could ever think of.
It made him weak. It made him lose track of what was important in a life that he lived. He let Luke affect his whole life and look where it got him; seated alone in his room with his father's old gun pressed to his forehead.
But he just couldn't blame the pretty boy. He couldn't think anything bad about him because every little thought ended up with how much he truly loved Luke.
Never in his life had Ashton loved anyone. He was even doubting if he ever had loved the guys in his crew like brothers and friends. He thought he never had, so to feel so strongly for a boy like Luke, a boy that he only met a few months ago, was so new for Ashton.
It still scared him. And now he was ready to take his own life because of the blonde.
It was pathetic.
I love you, Luke, went thought his mind as he slowly started to add pressure to the trigger. The seconds ticked by slow, and that one name ran through Ashton's head like a mantra as his finger was putting more pressure on the trigger.
Luke, Luke, Luke, Lu-
"What the fuck are you doing?" A voice was heard trough Ashton's room, but the boy didn't open his eyes because he already knew who it was.
"Put down the fucking gun, Ashton" Seth spoke as he carefully walked closer to his brother. Ashton scoffed and opened his eyes to eye Seth up and down before adding the last bit of pressure on the trigger.
It all went fast. Everything happened in the exact same second. Ashton seated on the bed with the tight grip on the gun as the loud firing noise was heard while Seth rushed towards his little brother with wide eyes, hopelessly reaching for the gun pressed against Ashton's forehead.
The next second, everything was quiet. Deadly quiet.
Blood was dripping down on Ashton's tangled and messy sheets as he fell helplessly to his mattress. The gun was dropped to the floor and the bullet was gone, drenched in the red thick liquid.
Seth was left standing in front of Ashton with wide eyes, his breathing locked down in his throat before the let out a strangled scream, watching blood drip from the hole the bullet had caused.
"Fuck!" Seth yelled and watched his one hand shake horribly. He tried to clench his fist but couldn't. He breathed heavily through his nose before looking down at his brother who was lying on his bed with eyes open and body slumped to the mattress.
"What the fuck were you thinking?!" Seth seethed as he glared down at his brother before putting his hand over his wounded arm to stop the bleeding. He let out a strangled noise at the pain, but ignored it as he looked down at Ashton again.
Ashton stayed in his position before slowly moving his eyes to look his brother in the eyes. He then let his eyes travel to everything around him, watching the scene play out once again.
How he had pulled the trigger as his brother had reached him and pushed him down the mattress as he moved the gun, making the bullet hit Seth's arm instead. His brother's arm was now drenched in blood, making it drip down to the white sheets.
"Look what you've done!" Seth exclaimed again as he grabbed Ashton's collar with his good arm and pulled his brother up to a sitting position.
"If you had stayed in your place, this wouldn't have happened" Ashton mumbled and gave Seth a dirty glare before trying to stand up from the bed but Seth tugged him down again.
"Why the fuck would you try to fucking kill yourself? What's wrong with you?" Seth asked and grimaced as he put even more pressure on his injured arm.
"Because I wanted to leave," Ashton spoke in a monotone voice and shrugged, "I wanted to disappear"
"So? You just don't fucking leave! You have a family to take care of!" Seth spoke and looked at his brother with judging eyes. Ashton lifted his own eyes and gave his brother a burning glare.
"You can't say anything! You fucking left me all alone! I can leave to" Ashton spoke in a harsh voice.
"But I came back!" Seth yelled, taking a few heavy breaths before speaking in a low voice, "You can't come back if you put a fucking bullet through your head"
"Maybe I don't want to come back" Ashton mumbled and Seth frowned.
"Why wouldn't you?" he asked and let out a growl when pain shot through his arm, "You stopped Michael from leaving us forever just a few weeks ago and you scolded him for days. What makes you think it's okay for you to just leave?"
"Because the only source of living I have wants me dead" Ashton spoke, making Seth frown deeper.
"What? Who?"
"Luke"
"Luke?" Seth asked and raise an eyebrow up in confusion, "Why would Luke ever want you dead?"
"Because I nearly killed his best friend" Ashton mumbled.
"Why?"
"I thought he was Drake's son" Ashton said and Seth gave him a look.
"And?" Seth asked, making Ashton scoff.
"And nothing. He was a part of their gang. I messed him up and I left the killing to Michael. But it turned out Michael didn't kill him since he knew the boy was 'innocent' so he carried him out where Luke and I was talking, making Luke see everything. After that he told me that if his friend dies, he wanted me to do the same"
"And you took that seriously?" Seth asked and raised an eyebrow again. Ashton only shrugged, making Seth scoff.
"So, is the friend dead?" Seth asked and Ashton shook his head.
"Not last time I saw him, but he was fucking close to it"
"So if you're not sure he's dead, then why the fuck are you trying to put a bullet through your brain?" Seth asked and looked at Ashton with questioning eyes.
"You know what, why would you even think of doing it in the first place? Luke doesn't fucking wants you to die"
"Yes he does, his words were sincere"
"Of course they were, you had almost killed his best fucking friend! He was mad at you, he's very much allowed to be, but you know fully well the blonde don't want you dead" Seth said and shook his head.
Ashton clenched his jaw and gritted his teeth as he listened to his brother.
"You know Luke loves you and even though you don't tell me shit, I know you love him too. You'd never even think of leaving him and same for Luke. I don't know what you guys have, but it's fucking powerful and I know you Ashton, you don't give up this easy.
"And we both know very well that if you died, it wouldn't take long before Luke joined you down the grave" Seth said and the words made Ashton grit his teeth harder and lift his head to glare at his brother.
"Do you really want to leave that precious boy alone with Drake and Ryan? Because you know that without you, we can't take those motherfuckers" Seth spoke again, this time slow and quietly, making everything more sincere.
"No," Ashton mumbled and shook his head, "Luke wanted me dead though"
"You love and sleep with the boy but you don't even know his mindset?" Seth asked and snorted, making Ashton give him another glare, "He don't want you dead. I bet you life on it. I'll even use the same gun and same bullets you did"
"It's dad's" Ashton spoke quietly, making Seth frown before turning around to look at the silver gun with those familiar initials.
"Where did you get that?" Seth asked but never once let his eyes leave the weapon.
"Stole it from Ty when I was 13" Ashton spoke and eyed the gun as well.
"Well, no wonder dad was a fucking deadly killer," Seth spoke and put more pressure on his arm to slow down the bleeding, "These bullets hurt like a motherfucker"
Ashton looked down at his brother's arm before he stood up and walked to his closet. He took out a simple black belt and tied it tightly around Seth's arm above the wound to slow down the bleeding. He grabbed a towel and tossed it at Seth carelessly, watching him press it against the wound.
"I'm driving you to the hospital" Ashton mumbled and Seth nodded his head.
"Call Luke first. I need to know that I'm right, otherwise I'll have to add another bullet on myself" Seth spoke.
"I can't call him," Ashton spoke and pointed at his shattered phone, "I don't know his number in my head"
Seth sighed.
"You're a fucking idiot, you know that right? Don't ever fucking try to do this shit again. You and I are supposed to live forever. We are the two who are supposed to live for mom and dad. They didn't get to live, so we're living for them" Seth spoke and looked at his brother with dark brown eyes.
"Yeah" Ashton mumbled before starting to make his way out of his room, his brother right behind him.
"Luke loves you, alright? I have never in my entire life seen a boy so deeply in love," Seth spoke as they stood in the hallway, "If you leave him, he'd be heartbroken and left alone in a world he wasn't meant to be in.
"He'd die thinking you didn't care, and I do know you care. Even if you don't show it, you fucking care, Ash" Seth spoke once again before walking down the stairs.
It was correct. Ashton did care, and he did love. He knew Luke loved him too, and they both promised each other to never leave, so why would Ashton suddenly do that?
Luke hadn't left him yet, he was just at distance, and Ashton knew he needed to get him close again.
He didn't want to see his angel lost in heaven just yet.
He took a deep breath before walking down the steps and saw his brother by the door, ready to leave.
"I need to talk to Luke. He'll be at the hospital, I need to talk to him" Ashton said and watched his brother give him a small smile before he burst out the door.
Seth was right behind him but stopped in his step as he watched the unfamiliar dark red car parked on the driveway. Ashton notice as well and slowly walked down the driveway and eyed the vehicle.
No sight of any people were seen in or outside the car, making Ashton furrow his eyebrows before glancing back at his brother who was watching around with burning eyes.
Ashton looked left to right before something caught his eye. "What the fuck," he mumbled as he slowly walked over to his car that was hidden behind another one.
As he reached his car he stopped abruptly when seeing the red letters painted on the side of it;
'RIP Ashton Irwin.
If you want to die, you die'
He eyed the letters with anger in his eyes before turning around to look at his brother. Only now seeing that he was suddenly gone.
Ashton had no time to think about it before he saw a human figure dressed in all black by the unfamiliar red car.
In only seconds, another unfamiliar car drove up on the driveway. But before that car even had time to stop, the person in black raised their gun and fired a shot towards Ashton, bullet meeting his lower stomach with a painful scream.
As Ashton was bringing his hands to his stomach and slowly sliding down against his car to the dirty ground, he saw the person in black drive away in full speed.
As his eyelids were slowly closing when the pain in his body made it impossible for him to breathe, someone dressed in a white and red hoodie ran over to him and picked him up to drag him over to their car.
"Don't fucking die on me now Irwin" was the last thing Ashton heard before everything in his body just shut down.
**
"Luke?"
"Luke, wake up"
Luke let out a small whining noise as he stretched his body out, hearing faint voices speak to him from far away. He brought his hands up to his face and rubbed his eyes before blinking a few times to get back to life.
"There you are" Andrew spoke and smiled small down at his son who was tucked down on the couch in the same clothes he had worn yesterday.
"What time is it?" Luke mumbled and slowly sat up as he watched his father.
"It's 5 am," he spoke and gave Luke a small smile, "The others are sleeping. I'm off to work and wanted to know if you wanted to go with me and see Calum?"
And right then Luke remembered everything that had happened yesterday. Everything from school to Michael, to Ashton, to Calum. Everything.
He nodded at his father's question and got off the bed to feel his pockets, searching for his phone. He noticed it wasn't there so he frantically looked around in the couch but still couldn't find it.
"What are you looking for?" Andrew asked and gave Luke a slightly confused look.
"My phone," Luke spoke as he looked around the room, "I need to see if I've gotten any calls or texts about Calum or Ash-"
Luke stopped himself or saying anything else when realizing his father yet has no idea who Ashton is.
"Never mind, I'll find it later, let's just go" Luke mumbled and walked past his father to put on his shoes and jacket in the hallway.
"I packed you some breakfast" Andrew spoke and handed Luke a brown paper bag, earning a small thankful smile from his son, before they exited the house and walked to Andrew's car.
"Is there any news on Calum?" Luke spoke quietly as he looked down his lap.
"Yes, he woke up around 2 am, talked a bit, before going back to sleep. His friend had been with him the whole time until visiting hours were over"
Luke looked at his father with relieved eyes, letting out a heavy sigh before smiling lightly. "Oh thank god" he breathed out, making Andrew chuckle fondly.
"It's all looking good, it's just going to be a long and quite tough recovery for Calum" he spoke and Luke nodded his head in understanding.
"Do you have any idea what happened?" Andrew asked after a while of silence. Luke tensed up at the question and quickly shook his head.
"No, I was at school when they said it happened" Luke spoke and looked out of the window to avoid his father's eyes.
"I know, I just thought that maybe you had a clue. He's your best friend, did you ever notice anything off around Calum? Did he have any enemies of some kind?" Andrew asked and Luke swallowed the big lump in his throat.
"No" Luke answered simply and shook his head.
"Luke," Andrew spoke in a soft yet stern voice, "If you know something, you have to say it. It will help Calum very much"
"I don't know anything," Luke spoke and turned to look at his father with the most sincere eyes he could muster, "I don't know a single thing about what happened. Can we please stop talking about it because I don't want to think about my best friend getting beat up"
"I'm sorry" Andrew spoke and patted Luke's knee before keeping quiet, only letting the radio play quietly in the car.
Luke sighed and looked out of the window again. He didn't want to think about his best friend getting beat up. He especially didn't want to think about it since it was his boyfriend who had done all the beating.
Luke sighed again, this time quietly. He needed his phone. He needed it to see if Ashton had tried to reach him. If not, Luke would try to reach him because they needed to talk. They needed to understand what just had happened, or at least Luke did.
He was confused, and he needed answers.
After a 15 minutes drive, Andrew drove onto the parking lot for the workers and pulled in to his own specific parking space. He turned to his son and gave him a small smiled before placing his hand on Luke's shoulder.
"Are you okay? I haven't had the time to talk to you about all of this" he spoke and Luke gave him a tight smile before nodding his head.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine" Luke mumbled and sighed out quietly.
"Just know that when you are ready to talk about it, me, your mother, and your brothers are here to listen" Andrew spoke and gave Luke's shoulder an assuring squeeze before getting out of the car.
Luke let out a heavy sigh and bit down on his bottom lip before stepping out of the car as well. He eyed the enormous hospital and almost shivered when thinking about everything going on in there
With careful steps he walked inside the hospital a few feet behind his father. They walked up to the reception counter and earned a polite smile and 'good morning' from the woman seated behind it.
As they had entered the building fully, Andrew turned to look at Luke. "I have to go and change for work and then I have a lot to do," he said and Luke nodded his head in understanding, "Calum is on floor 3 in room 371, you're free to go see him"
"Thank you, dad" Luke said and hugged his father before hurrying over to the elevator. He pressed the button with a 3 written on it about 8 times before the elevator finally started moving.
The familiar tone from the elevator was heard as he reached his destination. As soon as the doors had opened enough for him to slip through, he quickly walked through the hallway until his eyes landed on room 371.
He stopped and eyes the three numbers before taking a deep breath and reached out for the handle. With a slight bit of hesitation, Luke pulled the handle down, opened the door and stepped inside.
When Luke's eyes landed on the broken human on the hospital bed, surrounded by all kinds of machines, tubes and needles, he stopped and covered his mouth with his hand.
The sight was heartbreaking.
Calum's eyes that were now closed due to sleeping, had blue, yellow and purple surrounding the skin after the heavy hits he must have taken. His eyebrow was cracked open and stitched back together. His broken nose had a cast and a lot of tape over it while the rest of his face was covered in cuts and bruises.
His arm was casted from his upper arm down to his hand. And even though Luke couldn't see below the clothes and sheets, he knew Calum's chest, stomach and legs were covered in bruises as well.
"Luke?" a raspy and broken voice said, making it take a while for Luke to realize it actually came from Calum.
"Oh my god, Calum" Luke spoke as he rushed to the boys side. His eyes were swollen from the blackeyes he had gotten, and Luke felt like crying because of the sight.
"Hi" Calum spoke and reached his casted hand out for Luke. Luke took it and held it in both his hands as he sat down by the side of Calum's bed.
"How are you?" Luke asked, even though he knew it was a stupid question.
"I feel just about how I look," Calum struggled to speak out.
"Yeah" Luke whispered and blinked his eyes not to cry.
"It could be worse though," Calum whispered and smiled small at Luke, "I could be dead"
"Don't say that" Luke said and shook his head, not even want to think about Calum dying.
"I'm only kidding" Calum spoke.
"It wasn't funny" Luke argued.
"I know, I'm sorry," Calum sighed before closing his eyes again in exhaustion, "I will be fine though. They
told me I would be"
"I know, I heard" Luke spoke and released Calum's hand with one of his to reach it up to the boy's raven hair, softly brushing it away from his eyes.
"Are you tired?" Luke asked in a hushed whisper.
"Yeah, very" Calum said as he was almost on his way of falling asleep once again.
"Sleep, I'll be here when you wake up" Luke spoke and Calum gave him the biggest smile he could before he hopelessly fell back to sleep again.
Luke sighed and watched his best friend for a few minutes before standing up, remembering he forgot his breakfast in the car. He quietly walked over to the door but was stopped when he heard Calum speak again,
"Luke," Calum spoke in his raspy and broken voice, "What Ashton did was the right thing"
Luke looked at Calum with furrowed eyebrows as he let his eyes look into Calum's brown ones. "How can killing you be the right thing to do?" Luke asked in a small voice.
"He didn't kill me, I'm alive," Calum said and lifted his good arm to show what he meant, "And don't question it"
"Don't question it? Of course I'm gonna-"
"Luke," Calum spoke in a weak voice, desperately trying to shut the blonde up, "Just listen to me, okay? He did the right thing, so don't punish him before you let him tell you his part of the story"
Luke frowned and looked at Calum for a moment before biting down on his lip and nodded his head. He watched Calum give him a weak nod before he carefully leaned his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes again.
Luke breathed out softly before walking out of Calum's room and walked out to the elevator to get down to the entrance floor. He needed to find his father at the ER to get the car keys from somewhere.
Luke walked alone over the parking lot to take a short cut, entering the ER and watched all that happened. It was chaotic, and it was only around 5:30 am.
He slowly walked further into the room and walked over to the phone on the wall in the right corner. He was just about to dial his father's number when tree doctors rolled in a stretcher with a person lifelessly lying on it.
It wasn't until one of the doctors started speaking that Luke gave them his full attention.
"Male, 18 years old, shot in his lower stomach. He was shot and found 10 minutes ago. Organs heavily damaged and he has lost a lot of blood. Pulse is about to drop to 0!"
"Take him to surgery room 7, get the pulse going. We need blood and a pulse!"
Luke watched the the dramatic scene play out in front of him and then when his eyes cough a glimpse of the lifeless face of the body on the stretcher, he dropped the phone in his hand and felt his whole body freeze up.
Ashton.
-
i fucked up because i wrote a few things in the last chapter that weren't supposed to be there and that messed up this chapter so i had to change a few things in this and it's all fUCKED UP
what to do what to do
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