I awake to the sounds of footsteps around my bed, I roll over and pull my blanket up over my head. It must be really late in the morning if Cher is already awake and functioning. Normally, I'm the first one up and out the door even before her alarm goes off. I take in a deep breath trying to calm myself from the nightmare I was in just moments before. I'm surrounded by an intoxicating scent, sweet and musky. My body begins to relax, for some reason my blanket smells just like Dylan and I love it.
Dylan!
My eyes open quickly and I sit up, I'm not in my dorm, these aren't my blankets or pillows and what I wish was a nightmare really happened. Near the stairs I can see the outline of Dylan's form walking away.
"Dy-Dylan?" my voice barely comes out, my throat dry from sleep.
"You're awake?" he turns towards me and leans against the railing, the only thing keeping him from falling backwards.
I nod, "Just woke up."
"I didn't mean to wake you," his voice is low, like he's trying to whisper, "I was just leaving you some pain reliever and water." he points towards the night stand next to his bed.
At the mention of pain reliever, my head begins to throb, my body feeling weak and dizzy. My mind plays back over the past three hours. The bond fire... Riding on the back of Justin's motorcycle.... The party and drinks... Kissing Justin... Then lastly Dylan. Somehow my life had taken a sharp turn and became a soap opera. When had I lost control of my life?
"Thanks." I lean over and take two pills, the pain being to strong to ignore. Dylan watches me intently as I do, analyzing every moment.
He's definitely done this before. This probably isn't the first time he's dealt with something like this, taking care of some drunk girl in his bed. My chest aches with the thought of just how many girls he's done this with before. I'm not the first, and I won't be the last.
I choose to ignore those horrible thoughts, "What time is it?"
"It's three in the morning."
I rub my temples, I only slept about two hours. No wonder I feel horrible. Dylan doesn't even look like he's slept at all. Dark circles have formed under his eyes and his hair is a mess, like he hasn't brushed it in days. He probably won't sleep tonight, especially if I'm in his bed.
"The headache will go away soon, I don't think you drank anything to hard." he breaks our silence.
Memories of Justin handing me drink after drink flashes in my mind, it was some fruity smelling that burnt all the way down to my stomach. Whatever he game me was strong enough to make me feel like the entire room was spinning.
Dylan watches me in silence, his eyes trailing over my body. I'm still in Cher's clothing thank goodness, but even still with his intense stare I feel completely exposed. I take his blankets and wrap them around me for some sort of protection. How did I end up here, I know he told me he was bringing me here. But why? Why not bring me back to the dorm, get me out of his hands so he wouldn't have to deal with me?
This was probably just another way for him to mess with my head, to get under my skin. He didn't get his way earlier at the cafe and this is his way of getting back at me.
My eyes begin to adjust to the dark and I can make out the intense look of contemplation on Dylan's face. His eyes narrow, the crease between his brows form as he buries his hands deep into the pockets of his basket ball shorts. Something is definitely weighing on his mind.
"Dylan, wh-"
"What the fuck where you doing with Justin?" he rasps in a angry voice.
I'm stunned speechless, where had that come from? He continues to watch me, waiting for an explanation to his question. Even with his blankets wrapped tightly around me, I feel utterly vulnerable and exposed to him. Something that happens all to often when it comes to him.
"What?" a one word response is all I can handle right now.
"Why where you with Justin?" he repeats himself to me. Even though he sounds angry, there is a hint of desperation in his voice telling me there is more to the anger then he wants to let on.
"Why does it matter?"
He lets out a strangled sigh, "Can you just answer the fucking question for once?"
"I was just hanging out with him, that was all."
"I fucking saw you kiss him." he pushes.
"So what? Am I not allowed to kiss other guys but you?" I fire back at him, feeling my patients wearing thin by the second.
"Justin of all people?" he keeps going, there has to be something between these two. Especially if Dylan is getting all worked up over him.
I look away from him, I don't want to be having this conversation with him. I never sub consciously wanted to kiss Justin but I don't want to let Dylan know that the entire time I was wishing it was him. He already knows he can get under my skin, I don't want to give him anything else to use against me.
"Why didn't you answer my calls? I was coming for you Skylar, and you ignored me." his words are laced with pain. Was he hurt that I was with Justin? Is that why he's angry, because I was with Justin and not him.
"I thought it was Cher calling me, okay? I went with her to the bond fire, I didn't know anyone but her. When Logan showed up she ditched me. Justin saw me on the bleachers and came and talked to me, that is all. I never met him before tonight and I will probably never see him again. Are you happy?" I rush to ask out of breath, though I know he'll never be happy when it comes to me.
"You saw me there." he points out, "You saw my jeep and you went with Justin just to fuck with me."
Realization hits me, "Are... are you jealous that I was hanging out with Justin?"
Dylan stays quiet, his eyes dropping to the floor avoiding me. I was right, he was jealous I was with Justin and not him. I finally got under his skin, pay back for all the times he's done it to me, I finally have the upper hand.
"Oh my god!" I exclaim happily, "You're jealous that I went to the party with Justin." I stifle my giggles watching as Dylan tries to steady his breathing.
"I'm not jealous of that fucking prick." his spits his words with hatred.
"Oh." I feel an evil smirk on my lips, "So you're not jealous that I rode on the back of his motorcycle?"
"Not one fucking bit." he speaks through gritted teeth.
"Or that he was the one holding me close at the party and not you."
His leg begins to bounces now, "No."
"So I guess it doesn't matter that I danced with him and his hands were free to do whatever they wanted." I taunt him, watching as his patience now wheres thin.
Dylan clears his throat, the crease becoming deeper between his brow as he envisions the scene in his head, "No." his voice is strained.
I want to push him further, I want him to admit what I already know. "Then it shouldn't bother you that he kissed me." I can see his lip quiver, "That he was the one who was pushing his body against mine, that his lips where on mine and he was the one I reached for instead of you." I speak slower now, he's being tortured and for some twisted reason I'm loving this revenge.
"Justin was the one who came for me and it's eating you al-"
"Fine!" he shouts cutting me off, "I was fucking jealous, okay? I wanted to fucking break his face in when I saw you on the back of his bike. I wanted to beat the living shit out of him when I saw him kissing you! It took every ounce of self control not to rip him apart on that deck!" he's breathing heavily now, the veins in his neck pulsing under his skin as his rips at the hair on his head. He was pushed way past his limits and I'm the one who did this to him.
"Are you fucking happy now?"
I sit in silence, was I happy?
"I know what fucking game he plays, and I watched as he played it on you. If I could I would of smashed that bastards face in the moment I had my hands on him." his voice is even but sharp. It was like he was angry but calm all at once. The calm right before the storm.
My mouth opens to speak, to fix this mess I got us into but he is to fast, "Would you of had sex with him?"
"Wh-what?" I ask in disbelief, that was something I wasn't expecting to hear.
"You heard me." he leans in a bit, his eyes narrow at me and my heart beats in my chest in response, "Were you going to have sex with him?"
I can't believe what I'm hearing, "God! What is the matter with you and Cher?" both him and her have this crazy idea that for some reason I'm just going to have sex with any guy I talk with.
"I don't fucking care what Cher thinks. Where you going to have sex with him?" he asks one more time, pushing me now past my limits. Assuming that I'm just some girl that goes around and has sex with any guy I meet.
"No! I'm not some slut who sleeps around!" I now shout at him, my voice not my own, "Tell me, Dylan why would I want my fucking first time to be with someone I just met?" I shout at him.
Immediately he relaxes, his eyes widen slightly and I realize what I had just done. I made myself even more vulnerable to him, revealing to him the one thing he could use to play even more mind games with me.
We stay silent, my last statement echos quietly through his apartment. He's finally done it, he finally broke me to the point of loosing my self control. I lashed out at him and now I can't fix what I've done, I can't take back what I said to him. I look all around me, at anything to keep me from looking at Dylan who watches me carefully. His arms folded over his chest, he probably thinks I'm pathetic really.
Suddenly, I don't want to be here anymore. I want to get away from him, as far away as possible. I want to be in my own bed with my own sheets that don't remind me of the one guy who is making me feel like I'm in some sort of mind game of chess.
"Can you take me back to the dorms?" I ask quietly, I have no interest in shouting at him anymore.
"Why?" his voice too is soft and quiet, calming my nerves.
"I just... I don't want to be here." my body and mind feel defeated.
"You mean with me?" his voice sounds broken.
I finally gain the courage to look at him. He's on guard, his eyes soft but his body tense, "That's not what I meant." I say trying to relax him. There is no reason for him to be on guard against me.
"Would you rather be with Justin?" he says trying to take a shot at me, but the hurt in his voice over powers his ego.
"No." I say quickly, "All night I was searching for you Dylan. Whenever Justin came around I wish it was you, I didn't want him at all." I take in a deep breath preparing me for my confession, "I wanted you."
I know this gives Dylan all the power, I'm willingly giving him the upper hand but I don't want to do this with him any more. I don't want to be running in this circle with him pretending I don't care for him. That's not me, I can't pretend to be something I'm not. He lifts his eyes to me, and my god they're beautiful. They've cleared of all anger, full of hope and once again they're pulling me in. Whether towards disaster and heartbreak or something beautiful I can't tell.
Either way, I give in and let him pull me in.