UNEDITED
Dedicated to all my readers. That's you. Yes you, reading this right now. You. I love you <3 you're gorgeous and amazing and thanks for sticking with me through this :)
15. Part 1
Jasmine and Carter had been sitting watching T.V for the past two hours or so. It was around nine thirty, and for once at that time Jasmine actually felt tired. That was crazy! She was bored, and she could feel that he was too. Jasmine wrapped the blanket tighter around her legs as the climax of the movie was nearing. She heard a small, but loud beeping noise, and then abruptly all went black.
"Shoot." Jasmine whispered as she looked around, though all she could see was black. Pitch black darkness. She knew she should've brought the candles out when she had the chance, while the lights were still working. The rain was now beating loudly against the window, at least it sounding louder without any background noise. A beam of light shot threw; lightning. Jasmine scrambled and fell off the couch.
"Are you ok?!" Carter asked, hurrying over to help her in the dark.
"Yeah. Yeah I'm ok. I just don't like thunderstorms very much." Jasmine replied, bringing her knees to her chest and pushing her glasses further up the bridge of her nose. Carter sat down across from her, blocking the window where torrential rain was pouring down and more lightning flashed. But Carter was in the main part of Jasmine's vision and she pushed to close out the rain on the window. He took her a breath, as did she, though hers was shaky. Jasmine was shivering, whether it was from fear or from the cold that seemed to overwhelm the house; it didn't matter.
"Do you know where any candles or gas lamps are?" Carter asked, rubbing her leg slightly. When it should've been weird, it was instead comforting to Jasmine. Besides the candles in her art studio; in Safe Haven, Jasmine knew of no candles or gas lamps in the house. Yet, she still nodded, confirming that she knew where candles were in her house. Then, Jasmine, if possible shrivelled up into a smaller ball; hugging her knees tighter and brining her head onto her knees.
She felt vulnerable and small, she didn't like showing this side of her, and it just didn't feel right. Jasmine wanted him to just go home at that point. She didn't want him to endure her like that.
"Do you want to show me where we can get candles?" Carter asked as his hand made its way up towards her arm. Jasmine peeked at him through her arms, her eyes wide and slightly scared. Carter coked his head sideways, with a sweet smile on his face, and then he gently moved her arms away from her face. Slowly Jasmine began to open up. She sat up with her legs crossed in front of her, taking deep breaths; breaths that seemed to be in time with the thunder and lightning. He took her hands in his as he brought her to a standing position. Jasmine's insides were crawling; she didn't want to have to take him to her studio. 'Wait!' She thought. She could just go get the candles herself; he didn't have to come with her. Why would she think that he would?
Jasmine took in a breath, walked over to the kitchen, Carter's eyes followed her every move. She stubbed her toe and banged her hip into the counter, but those weren't anything that a normal clumsy Jasmine would do. She tried to find the drawer that she knew the lighters would be in. Lightning struck again, making her jump slightly but light up the room enough that she could see the lighters and grab one before the flashes went away. She set it down on the island counter then felt her way towards the stairs. Once she got to the railing, she heard Carter clear his throat. Jasmine looked back towards him and tilter her head. So maybe her plan wasn't as brilliant as she thought.
"You weren't planning to leave me here in the dark right?" Carter asked, and Jasmine could hear the smirk that was playing on his lips just from his tone of voice. Jasmine shook her head to answer no, but though when she replied she meant differently.
"The candles are in my studio," she whispered, her voice suddenly hoarse.
"Where? Here let me come with you, I don't want you to get hurt in the dark." Carter replied, standing up and finding his way over to her. He grabbed the lighter on the way by and was about to grab the railing when another struck of lightning came down, making Jasmine cower against the wall. Carter wrapped an arm around her waist, securing her and giving her a safety wrap. She let out another shaky breath as she responded.
"I know, and I would let you come it's just that..." She trailed off, her voice becoming quiet and a whisper again.
"Just what?" Carter asked, looking up at Jasmine since she was on the second step and he was on the ground floor.
"The candles are in my studio," she sighed, her face solemn.
"And I can't go in there?" He asked with a sheer look of questioning on his face, there was no playfulness in it, whatsoever at all. He looked almost disappointed; a look that Jasmine knew would make her cave in. The puppy dog look. She had fallen for it every time he gave it to her thus far. But she truly wanted to open up to him; it was just so hard to let down the concrete walls she had built to keep everyone out.
"Yes," Jasmine cringed at her own answer, and then rambled to explain. "It's just that I don't let anyone go in there, it's kind of my Safe Haven and, and...I haven' even ever shown it to my friends, like my best friends. It's kind of the one place I can be myself and...and...well...yeah." She replied, feeling dejected and defeated. She looked up at the ceiling, her head back then muttered to herself, "I am so going to regret this." Under her breath as she grabbed Carter's hand. "Just c'mon." She continued as she took him to the top of the stairs.
Once they reached Safe Haven's door Jasmine gave Carter another debriefing.
"So this is my art studio, photography studio, everything and anything. I keep more secrets in here than my bedroom. It is literally like my living breathing safe with no box or lock. Don't touch anything unless I say, just...just sit on the couch until I get the candles lit. Ok?" She asked looking at him with wide eyes, one hand on the door handle, the other entwined with Carter's.
"Ok, but you really got to stop rambling. You're honestly just too cute that I can barely handle it. Really," Carter smirked. Jasmine blushed furiously and though it was in the dark she felt like her heated cheeks were light beacons. She twisted the knock on her door and pushed it open just a crack. Then fully opened it and stepped inside with Carter behind her.
"My studio," she introduced, stepping back and gesturing towards the space with her arms wide open.
Though it was dark and they could barely see anything, Carter was stunned at how large and custom the room seemed to be, ranging the size of one floor of the house but with no other doors or walls in-between. He found the couch in the far corner of the room in front of the TV. Jasmine remembered that her lights that dangled along the walls were battery powered when not plugged in. So she quickly flicked them on to give the surrounding space some light. Then went over to the cupboards and weeded through the back of the cabinets in order to find the candles that had been stuffed there long ago. Jasmine quickly lit them and set them around the room. The storm seemed to fade away in the warm, glowing dim of Safe Haven. Though outside the rain and wind was raging more than ever. Jasmine slouched into one of the stools at her table, her face shadowed by the candle light behind her. Carter walked over to her and sat down beside her, eager to hear more about the room and why it was so private to her.
He gave her that small puppy dog look and she knew what was coming next. Jasmine had already let down enough walls that day and she was not prepared to let down anymore. She didn't want to; she was scared and not ready for someone to see all the small, ugly and unwanted parts of her. Jasmine wanted those parts to just disappear, to go away; that's why she put up her walls, so that unwontedness, it would stay hidden. But what she didn't know was that it was already too late. She could've been an open book, though she was a completely closed one. But it didn't matter because Carter had wormed his way into her life so slowly and steadily, that with every move she made and every word she uttered, her walls were coming crumbling down. Though she didn't know it, and though she didn't want it, and even thought she thought she wasn't ready to let them down, they were coming down. Every little piece of her showing whether she liked it or not. Jasmine tried to shoot Carter a stern look, to tell him to cut it out and quit making her blab even if she didn't want to, but as soon as she tried, she gave up. Jasmine looked the other direction, gave a small sniff and pushed her glasses further up her nose, all in the same process of trying to pull her sweater tighter around her shoulders. The sweater bagged at the front and was tight at the back as she tried to gather it to make her shrink; she wanted to disappear in that moment. She brought her feet up to rest on the chair, her knees curling into her stomach once more, making her feel smaller; like she wanted to. Jasmine took a deep breath in, let it out and took another breath. Then looked inside herself one last time before she finally gave in. She was about to let her walls down, slowly of course, but whether she was conscious of it, she had made the decision. This was it.
A/N
YES IT IS PART ONE!!!! THAT MEANS THERE IS A PART TWO OF THIS CHAPTER!!!!!
This chapter was really long so I decided to break it up into two parts so that you guys could get more updates in a shorter amount of time!!! YAY! Spelt backwards is still YAY! Ok so question? Question.
How we feeling about this chappy so far my lovelies?
OH OH OH! Do we have any male readers out there? I'm always curious as to if there are guys reading this
I hope you enjoyed!
Please read, vote, comment, follow, and THIS STORM IS AN EFFING MENACE!
Love you all!!!!
-nessa