"Calum Hood, 16 years old male, roughly abused. Heavy concussion, broken nasal bone, jaw in malfunction, broken ribs, and broken wrist in two different places. He's gotten heavy hits to his organs, heavy loss of blood and his pulse is dropping drastically"
"Bring him into emergency surgery. Check for internal bleeding as well as burst organs. Keep a careful eye on his pulse!"
That was it.
That was the last thing Luke heard before the four doctors hurried Calum to the emergency surgery behind the two white doors, and left Luke in pure misery.
The blonde didn't know what to do. He was left seated on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs in the waiting room and stared at the white doors that Calum had gone through.
Luke's stare was empty, you couldn't read a single thing by it. If he wasn't crying, you would probably have though that Luke was dead himself.
But he wasn't, his body was fully alive, but it felt like his brain and heart had both broken down to their own deaths, and Luke was simply gone. He didn't know what to do, what to say, or where to go.
He was lost.
"Luke?" Michael spoke from beside him, but Luke made no move to show the green-haired boy he was listening, "I'm gonna go and talk to some people and give them some information about Calum. You'll stay here, do you understand me?"
Luke heard Michael's words and he understood them but he had no strength to answer Michael. The silence made the older boy sigh before he stood up and walked away, leaving Luke alone in his misery.
All that was running through Luke's broken mind was Calum, Ashton, Calum, Ashton, Calum, Ashton Ashton Ashton.
Every little inch of his brain was occupied by thinking about Ashton. Luke barely had any thoughts of breathing because he was so stuck on all the confusing thoughts about the love of his life.
Because who was Luke kidding? He loved Ashton. He was the fist boy he had ever felt so much for and feelings just didn't disappear like that, even though Luke wished they did.
Luke had just watched Ashton go over to him, kiss him and hug him seconds after almost killing Calum. Luke was disgusted by the thought of smiling as Ashton had walked over to him. But the fact that most of his tears were because of Ashton and not Calum, made Luke cry even more.
Of course Luke was crying over his best friend. He was so scared and so sad that Calum had been so close to death and is still not safe from it. Luke has no idea how it's going with Calum and the thoughts about what could happen made Luke shiver.
But even if he's sitting in the waiting room in hopes of getting any news on his unconscious best friend in surgery, Luke still thought about Ashton.
He thought about how Ashton could have done that without speaking to him fist. If now whatever Ashton had told him was true, he should have told Luke about it before doing anything to Calum. Luke knew he could have prevented this from happening and they'd all be living now. But the fact that Ashton had gone behind his back and almost killed his best friend made everything inside Luke break into millions of pieces.
Luke regretted how he had acted though. Maybe he had acted correctly, maybe that's how everyone else would have reacted, but Luke was different. Luke was nice and loving and innocent, and he regretted the harsh things that had came out of his mouth.
Luke didn't want to hurt Ashton even though the older boy had done so to him. He never meant to throw a hit to Ashton, because to Luke that was awful. He felt awful, he really did.
Maybe he should have let Ashton explain himself? Maybe Ashton had some reasonable things to tell him? But yet again, no words could ever explain why Ashton tried to kill his best friend. Even though Calum had done something horrible, he never once deserved to get killed. Never.
But the strongest reason to why Luke was bawling his eyes out now in the hospital was because Luke hated himself for that horrible sentence he let past his lips before they left.
Luke didn't want Ashton to die. He never in his entire life wanted Ashton to leave this planet. Even though Luke was furious at him, he never wanted Ashton to leave.
They may not ever be able to come back to who they were, but just because Luke would try to keep away from Ashton doesn't mean he wanted Ashton to disappear forever.
No one deserves to die, and if Ashton actually did die, Luke knew he'd be a broken and shattered mess. If Ashton died, Luke would probably lose his own will of living as well because he knew he'd be the reason of it all.
"Luke? Hey, Luke?" Michael's voice was heard and when Luke blinked a few times, he suddenly could see Michael crouched in front of him with his big green eyes staring into his own with a worried expression.
"You were gone for like a few minutes" Michael spoke s he inspected Luke's face with a frown.
"Is Calum done? Have they said anything? Can we-"
"Luke, you need to calm down," Michael spoke in a hushed voice while people around them were looking, "It hasn't even gone 5 minutes yet, he was just rolled into surgery"
Luke gulped down and nodded his head before sniffing while more tears ran down his cheeks. Luke was utterly broken and as it felt now, he'd probably never heal.
"You know what? Maybe you should go home," Michael spoke but Luke quickly shook his head, "I can call you a cab and you can go home and sleep because I don't think you can handle anything else today-"
"I'm not going home," Luke said and kept shaking his head, "I don't want to leave. I want to stay"
Michael bit the inside of his cheek before nodding his head slowly, "Okay, then you'll stay. It's okay Luke, everything will be okay"
"No, it won't," Luke whispered and let more tears fall down his cheeks, "I'm an awful person and this is all my fault"
"What?" Michael said and frowned while looking at the blonde boy, "This is not at all your fault, Luke. It's not even close-"
"It is, it's my fault!" Luke exclaimed, making people turn their heads to look at them again, "I should never have tried to be with Ashton because now Calum's dead and Ashton thinks I want him dead and I don't want neither of that. I want to die!"
"Luke, shh," Michael said softly but sternly before sitting down beside him and brought the small blonde into a hug, "Don't ever fucking say that, okay? Calum's not going to die, he's in good hands now. And Ashton knows you don't want him dead. I know that, so he will as well"
Michael tightened the grip around Luke before speaking again.
"What he did was fucked up, he's my best friend and even I think that. I know you were in the moment. I know you were mad and that you were scared about Calum's health, but we both know you didn't mean those words to him. You'd never mean such words" he said and Luke cried while listening.
"Do you understand me?" Michael soon asked and Luke nodded his head even though he disagreed with those words.
Michael made it sound like Luke was a good guy through all of this, but Luke knew he wasn't. He felt like he had literally killed Ashton on the spot, and the mere thought made him sob and whimper once again.
Michael sighed because he had no idea what to do. Michael had an easier way of showing emotions and to actually care than Ashton did, but he still wasn't good at it. So, Michael only held Luke close and let the blonde soak the shoulder of his shirt while he stared right at the surgery doors, hoping for one of the doctors to come out and tell them some news about Calum.
But no one came.
**
4 hours of waiting had gone by without any information being told.
Luke was still crying while Michael was running his hands up and down his face in frustration. He was frustrated at everything and everyone, but he kept it all inside.
"Luke?" a male voice said, making both Luke and Michael lift their heads to place their eyes on the man standing in front of Luke. Michael was frowning but Luke only sobbed as he stood up from his seat and threw himself in the arms of the man.
"Dad" Luke sobbed out, making Michael's face soften and he slowly looked down at the floor again, not wanting to disturb anything.
"What are you doing here Luke?" Andrew asked with a worried frown as he held his son tight in a hug while Luke was crying heavily.
"C-Calum" Luke choked out before burying his face into his father's doctor's coat.
"What about Calum?" Andrew asked as he pulled away and placed his hands on Luke's shoulders to look at his son's tear filled face.
"He- I just- Please tell me he'll be okay?" Luke sniffed and looked at his father with big blue glossy eyes.
"I can't tell you anything as long as you don't tell me what's wrong, Luke" Andrew spoke and placed a hand on Luke's cheek in a soothing matter.
"Um, sir," Michael spoke and stood up from his seat to face Andrew who was now facing him, "Calum was sent into surgery after, probably, gotten roughly abused. We just want to know if he's alright or not. We've been here for hours but haven't heard a thing"
Michael put emphasis on 'probably' since he knew how Luke felt for Ashton, and Michael knew he wanted to protect Calum, so he wouldn't tell anyone about Ashton and Calum until either of the two boys did so themselves. It was only fair.
"Is this true?" Andrew asked and turned to Luke who nodded through his tears. Andrew frowned before turning back to Michael, "And you're a friend of Calum's too?"
"Yes, sir" Michael said and nodded his head.
"You know what Luke?" Andrew spoke softly and looked at his broken son, "You two will sit down here again while I go check on how it's going with Calum. As soon as I know, I'll come back and inform you both"
Luke nodded his head quickly and his father sent him a small smile and nodded at Michael before he stood up and walked through those horrible white doors.
The two boys kept quiet as they were left alone, going back to their own personal things. Luke cried and Michael gritted his teeth together in slight impatience.
Not only 5 minutes later, Andrew came back into the waiting room and smiled warmly at the two boys.
"Calum will be fine," he said and both Luke and Michael let out well needed breaths, "He's getting out of surgery in a couple of minutes and the surgery went well. Everything is back in place, but he will look rough when he comes out. Bruises are not something we can do anything about, but that means he's healing.
"He's got a casted arm and he has a concussion so he'll have to stay in the hospital at least two weeks for now so we can keep an eye on him since he has lost a lot of blood and the injuries on his body will make his recovery slow. But he'll be okay as time goes"
Luke sighed out in relief and stood up to hug his father again. Michael watched as he ran a hand through his hair and tugged t the ends while sighing out in relief as well.
"Can we see him?" Michael asked as Luke had pulled away from the hug he shared with his father.
"He's not out of surgery yet and he'll be asleep for a long time afterwards, so I don't know what the doctors will say. Since I'm not the one in surgery, I can't make the decision. I'm sorry"
"Oh no, it's fine," Michael said and sent Andrew a tight smile, "I'll wait"
"Okay," Andrew said and nodded before turning to Luke, "But you, young man, will not wait"
"W-What?" Luke asked and frowned slightly.
"I see that you are exhausted and I know you haven't eaten a thing since this happened, so I called Jack and he's coming to pick you up and drive you home"
"But what about Calum?" Luke argued but his father shook his head.
"He'll be here tomorrow, believe me Luke. And also, he won't even be awake for you today, so it's better if you come here tomorrow and visit Calum then"
"I'll be here Luke, so if anything happens I'll call you" Michael spoke and and Luke looked between Michael and his father before nodding his head in defeat.
"Good. Jack will be here in a few minutes so get yourself ready and get down to the parking lot so you can go home" Andrew spoke before he left a kiss on Luke's forehead.
"Okay" Luke whispered and Andrew nodded his head assuringly.
"I have to go back to work, but I'll see you tomorrow morning. Mom isn't home so keep peace with Jack, okay?" he spoke and Luke nodded his head and gave his father one last hug before Andrew turned to Michael and shook the boy's hand.
And then, he walked off and Luke was left with a slightly lighter heart but tears still running down his face.
"Okay," Luke spoke up in a whisper and turned to look at Michael, "Goodbye then, I guess"
"It's all gonna be fine, Luke," Michael said and stood up to bring Luke into another hug, "I'll call if anything happens and I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"
Luke nodded his head and Michael gave him a small smile that Luke couldn't even try to fake for a return before he walked off. Tears were still welling up as he walked and people were watching him with sympathetic eyes though they had no idea why he was crying.
Luke walked quietly out to the parking lot and over to the sleek silver car Jack was seated inside of. As Luke opened the passenger door, Jack looked at him with the same sympathetic eyes.
"I heard what happened," he spoke and Luke only looked down at his hands, "I'm sorry but he'll be okay Luke, you don't need to cry"
Luke looked up and gave Jack an empty stare before going back to look down at his feet. Jack furrowed his eyebrows but understood not to push Luke over any edges right now, so he drove home in silence, not once asking Luke a question. Luke was grateful for that, even though the only thing he did was to cry and cry and cry.
**
"What do you want to eat?" Jack asked softly as he watched his little brother seated on the coach with his knees brought up to his chest as he stared into the wall with a blank face.
"Nothing" Luke mumbled, making Jack sigh.
"You haven't eaten in hours and you're exhausted. You need to eat something, Luke" Jack spoke and walked over to his brother to watch into those blank teary eyes.
"What's wrong Luke? Calum is okay, why are you still crying?" he asked with a slight frown.
"It's all my fault" Luke whispered and Jack frowned deeper.
"What?"
"I don't want him to die" Luke spoke again and now tears were falling again.
"What are you talking about?" Jack spoke and sat down beside Luke and looked at his brother with pure worry.
"I really don't want him to die, please" Luke suddenly sobbed out, making Jack more than confused.
"Luke, you're scaring me. What the fuck are you talking about?"
Luke only shook his head and stood up from the couch to turn and look at Jack with wide and glossy eyes.
"I love him and I don't want him to die!"
"Luke," Jack said calmly and stood up from the couch as well to slowly walk over to his brother, "Calum is fine, he's not going to die"
"No no no, you don't understand! I don't want him to leave, I love him and I left him and now he'll leave me for good! I don't want him to go" Luke said and sobbed.
Jack was shocked as he watched his brother's broken expression. Jack was so confused as to why Luke was acting like this. He knew Luke must have been hit really hard about this Calum thing, but he had never seen his brother like this.
"Luke," Jack said soothingly and walked up to Luke before trying to pull him in to a gentle hug, but Luke struggled to get away.
"No, don't touch me I'm a horrible person! Don't- I'm not-"
"Luke!" Jack said and looked at his brother with wide eyes as his arm were holding him in place. Luke fell silent before he broke down in tears and collapsed into Jack's arms.
Jack caught his brother and held him tight while Luke was sobbing loudly. Jack was broken by the sounds, but held himself together while trying to get his brother in one piece as well.
Luke kept crying while Jack sat them down on the couch and whispered soothing words for minutes or maybe hours. Neither of the boys held the time.
After what felt like forever, Luke had fallen quiet in Jack's tight grip, and when hearing Luke's heavy breaths, Jack knew Luke had fallen asleep.
A relieved sigh was released from Jacks lips as he loosened his grip around his brother slightly. He looked down at Luke's tear stained cheeks and wet eyelashes from all the crying the young boy had done.
It all made Jack feel like complete shit, because there was something wrong with his brother and he hadn't even noticed it because he was too winded up in keeping Luke away from Ashton to realize that Luke was actually hurting for real.
Jack sighed and kept his little brother close as a buzzing sound was heard on the couch beside Luke. Jack furrowed his eyebrows and reached one hand to blindly search for the phone that had previously made a sound.
His hand caught something and he picked it up, seeing it was Luke's phone. As he pressed the home button and the screen lit up, he read the message saying Luke had a voice message in his inbox that was recorded 50 minutes ago.
Jack frowned, thinking it may be be someone from the hospital about Calum, so he slowly and quietly unlocked Luke's phone and called the voicemail in hopes of hearing good new to tell Luke tomorrow morning.
"You have one new message. Sent to you at 8:37 pm" the machine voice said before the real call was played,
"Hey angel," a raspy voice said from the other line, making Jack furrow his eyebrows in confusion, "I know you wouldn't answer me, and I doubt you'll even listen to this, but this is my only way of reaching you since you said you never wanted to see me again. I know you said you never wanted me to talk to you either, but I just need a few stuff to be said before we say goodbye"
Jack licked his lips and tightened his grip on his little brother as he realized the voice on the other line was Ashton. He didn't hang up though, because he wanted to know what Ashton had to say.
"I know you're mad about what happened to Calum, and I may sound fucking stupid now, but I never thought you'd react the way you did. I thought you'd listen to me, so that's why I'll tell you now;
"Ever since I first saw you, something stuck on me. I don't know what about you that did, but it was something, and I was furious about it. Then you started to try to get closer to me and I fucking warned you not to, but you didn't listen and look where we are now"
Jack bit the inside of his cheek and looked down at his brother again. Ashton had tried to keep Luke away from him, which made Jack actually realize that it was Luke who wanted this. His brother was the reason to their relationship.
"I'm not saying it's your fault, angel, I'm saying it's mine because I let you enter so easily. And then as soon as I did, you got all that shit aimed to you. Just because I was fucking stuck on the thought of you, you got everything that was supposed to be aimed at me.
"I know you'll probably hang up now, but listen until I've had this said; Calum did all those stuff that happened to you. He took those photos of you, he also planted a fucking camera in your room so all the people against me could look at you. To look at my Luke" Ashton said and Jack gripped the hold on the phone in confusion, fear, but mostly; anger.
"And then after the night we had together, I did leave you alone for a few hours, and in those hours, Calum almost killed me. I know you won't believe me and I know I can't do shit to prove that it's true. I just have to hope that you still have some trust in me.
"You probably won't though after the shit I did to your friend, but look at it all, Luke! Your fucking 'best friend' has acted to be your best friend to get close to you to then hurt you. I did what I had to do! I protected you Luke, I fucking did everything I could to make sure you would be the one staying alive in all this shit. I don't care about Calum, I don't care about Michael, I don't care about any of the guys in my group, because when it comes to you, you're all I ever care about, angel.
"I understand you fucking hate me now. I should have known you wouldn't have understood, but in these months together I have told you that this is my job, I make money out of this and you accepted me as I was. You even fucking promised me you'd stay if I promised I would! I promised you Luke, because I fucking love you, and I know you love me too.
"But if you don't, I get it. If you feel like you're better off, then I understand. I can't promise you that you'll be left alone, because you most certainly won't. If you want nothing to do with me, there's not much I can do to keep you safe, angel.
"Though, there's one thing I can do," Ashton said on the other side of the line and it was quiet for a while before he spoke up again, "I love you, and I want you to live and be happy. I don't fucking care about myself because you're the only person I live my life for" Ashton took a break to breathe again.
"If you want me to die, I'll do that for you. If you want me to disappear, I will do that angel, because without you, I don't fucking have anything here to do. I'd die soon anyway, I'd probably get a bullet through my heart or my brain. But at least now I'll be the cause of it myself, and at least now you'll be the last thing I'll think about"
And right then, Jack understood just what Luke had been crying about before, and it turned Jack numb. He was scared of hearing the rest of the message, but he couldn't bring the phone away from his ear because he was frozen.
"So bye angel," Ashton spoke and Jack frantically glanced all around the room in panic.
"No, no, no" he spoke and gripped the phone tighter.
"I guess this is the last thing you'll ever hear from me and I can assure you we'll never get to see each other again, because you'll go to heaven, angel-"
Jack closed his eyes and gritted his teeth harshly as he shook his head, "Fuck, no"
"-and I'll go to hell"
And then, the line went dead.
Jack shook his head the whole time while he went to Luke's contact list and found Ashton's number and dialed it, waiting for answer.
"We're sorry, but the number you have reached is not in service at this time. Please check the number or try your call again later"
"Fuck" Jack cursed quietly before dialing the number once again.
"We're sorry, but the number you have reached is not in service at this time. Please check the number or-"
"Fuck, fuck, fuck" Jack said as he dialed the number once again.
"We're sorry, but the number-"
Jack furiously ended the call and threw the phone away before looking down at his brother with glossy eyes.
He couldn't watch his brother get hurt like that. He couldn't even imagine watching Luke's face as he understood his boyfriend was gone.
Luke would believe it was his fault and Jack wanted to prevent that but there was no way he could reach Ashton. And, he was afraid it was already too late anyway.
So with a broken look on his face, Jack cuddled his little brother as close to his chest as possible, leaving a kiss to Luke's forehead, before burying his own nose in his brother's hair, letting hopeless tears fall.
"You'll be okay Luke, I promise. You'll be okay"
-
don't hate me, don't hurt me, don't blame me, it's not the end!!!!!! i'm just a smol human bean
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ily !!